Toward the Future
In the space of a few weeks, Zuko had gone from banished prince of the Fire Nation, to traitor prince of the Fire Nation and finally to leader of the Fire Nation. The changes were enough to make anyone dizzy and as he stood outside the throne room, crowned and dressed as the Fire Lord, Mai, his love and his support, by his side, he almost threw up.
"They're in there, waiting. What do I do? What do I say?" Covering his mouth with a trembling hand, willing his stomach to stop feeling like a nest of crawling spiders, he leaned against the stone wall. The cool of it, and Mai's hand on his back, made things slightly better.
Mai caught the guards staring. With one glare, more cutting than any of her blades, she forced discretion upon them. Both men gazed down the corridor, as if in anticipation of more arrivals.
"Walk down this way." Zuko took her hand and shuffled along beside Mai until they turned a corner and had some semblance of privacy. "Take a deep breath." Zuko obeyed. "Take another." Compliant he did as Mai told him.
"I can't do this Mai. I can't do it. They're my father's men. They hate me. I know they hate me."
He babbled and fear was strong in his voice and he loathed himself for it. Why couldn't he be cool and confident like Ozai? Everyone always listened to him. No one dared do otherwise.
Mai took his face in her hands, one firmly on each of his cheeks, and looked into his eyes. Emotions flickered there, every insecurity and fear Zuko had ever felt, and Mai's own stomach lurched. Nothing would be easy from now on. Their lives had diverged and they followed a path that would see them into old age, if they were fortunate, a path littered with obstacles. But Zuko had a job to do. And so did she. It wasn't an impossible one, just difficult. Zuko was accustomed to difficult.
"You can do this, Zuko. You will make a great Fire Lord. I'm here to help you." She rubbed her thumb along the puckered ridge of scar tissue, the spot where ravaged flesh met undamaged.
He didn't feel like the Fire Lord. On the day of his coronation, with victory still a fresh taste in his mouth and the love between him and Mai reconfirmed, with cheering friends in the crowd and the Avatar by his side, the future was this glowing, beautiful entity, nothing but shine and sparkle and joy. He should have known better. He should not have let the high of defeating Ozai and Azula colour his perspective. But he had. Now reality, dull and contentious and definitely not glowing, faced him, a massive wall of stone that he must conquer.
"Do you really believe that, Mai? I mean, really?" Part of him wanted to collapse to his knees, like some penitent, and give up his position before running away from the terrible weight of responsibility. But he wouldn't. Zuko didn't run away. Zuko didn't shirk. Zuko fought until he had no fight left. The greatest fight of his life lay ahead of him and the first battle would be held in the throne room, behind those curtains of rich red velvet.
"I never say what I don't mean." Pressing herself against him, she rested her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest, over his heart. Beneath the layers and layers of cloth, it beat, steady and sure despite his fears. "You've wanted to be Fire Lord for a long time. I remember you dreaming about the day. But your dreams were good ones, not like your father's. Our nation needs guidance now, now more than ever. It needs you." She couldn't say anymore with her words. Those were more than she normally spoke. Mai was better with touch and looks anyway, always had been. So with a kiss, slow and sweet and deep, she told Zuko that he was loved and wanted and strong and good and would flourish as the Fire Lord, given a bit of time.
"I need you, Mai."
"I know."
He kissed her back and when he ran his hands up and down her slender arms, they no longer shook.
"I won't keep things from you, like before."
Mai had let go of the anger she felt over Zuko's goodbye letter to her on the day of the eclipse, his blatant exclusion of her from his plans. She understood what he'd been thinking, his idea that somehow he was saving her. But she would not be excluded again and he knew it.
"No, you won't. I can't help if I'm not a part of things."
"They won't like it, Mai. They won't like it one bit."
"Do we care?" Mai shrugged and turned before rounding the corner.
She held her hand out for him, and that was all Zuko could see of her now, those pale fingers waiting for him to grab hold. Taking another deep breath, he moved forward, wrapped his fingers about hers and strode down the hallway toward the future.
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A/N: This piece was inspired by the prompt 'green' which I could think of nothing for until I had this thought and said "AHA! Zuko is green to the ways of politics and being Fire Lord" and I was very proud of myself...well, not really. ;-) It is also the product of no sleep.
