Disclaimer: No. Not now. Not ever.


She came back to consciousness the first time in complete darkness and silence. White hot lights popped in front of her eyes as she shifted painfully in the snow. Every fiber of her being screamed out in agony as she lay bleeding and broken, her life's blood pouring out onto the frozen ground. Her mind raced across time, trying to catch up with why and how she had come to be here, wherever here was. All she knew was the pain that flooded her senses every time she took a breath, and the bitter, biting, cold that seemed to have turned her blood to ice.

Every insignificant move she made sent a new wave of sharp pain coursing through her body. Somehow, she had found her neck and the tiny chain that still hung there, tangled among a few long strands of matted hair. As her numb fingers closed around the small metal object she felt her heart swell until she was sure it would burst. Her blood began to flow again, but was quickly stopped by the indomitable cold that surrounded her in a frosty black cocoon. She clung to the locket as every ounce of her strength was sucked out of her broken body. It was the only thing she was aware of besides the pain, but even it was a double edged sword as the metal tip dug relentlessly into the tender flesh of her palm. Even as hot blood seeped out from around the locket, she grasped it tightly to her chest, willing herself to wake from this nightmare, but the harder she clutched the precious gem, the more difficult it was for her to feel it in the palm of her frozen hand.

She wanted to scream for help but her voice was so weak and broken to her own ears that she doubted it had even disturbed the heavy night air. Her lungs were on fire from the cold and her body felt too heavy, immovable under the thick layer of snow that had covered her like a death shroud. The darkness around her was beginning to close in on all sides, pressing in on her like a smothering pillow in the dead of night as it closed its icy fingers around her like a lover in a tender embrace. She welcomed the darkness as an escape from the indescribable pain that filled her every waking moment. Closing her eyes as the world around her tilted and pitched forward, she surrendered to the forgiving arms of darkness. But the last image that flashed across her mind broke lose a fragile scream that pierced the night air, cleaving it in two.

Jason…

The darkness washed over her as she struggled to breath. The panic that had risen in her throat lodged itself there, making it even harder still to draw a decent breath. She saw in her mind's eye her little boy; his frightened face and his eyes as wide as saucers as he screamed for her over and over again led her down into the deepest pit of nightmares. The darkness, closing in completely, brought with it her waking demons.

"Jason!"

The second scream, louder than the first, impaled the darkness as it echoed dully through the snowfall until it faded away to nothingness in the impenetrable darkness, going unheard by a single living soul.

Lois closed her eyes tightly to shut out the image, but it lingered just behind her closed eyelids, taunting her with a vicious malice that made her stomach twist.

The darkness filled her, taking her, mind and soul, away from the pain that tore at her, away from the bitter cold of the snow, away from the nightmares that lingered between the spaces of life and death, and worst of all, away from her son.

xXx

The thin streak of pink that painted the horizon was marred only by the low storm clouds that hung over the city. The main part of the storm had already blown through, leaving a disaster that rivaled a war zone in its wake as more dark clouds loomed on the horizon; threatening to unleash yet more frozen pellets of hell than it already had on the floundering and frozen wasteland.

The coming of dawn was welcomed by all, but most especially the Man of Steel. He flew low of the city, surveying the damage the blizzard had caused as he slowly made his way back to his apartment.

It seemed like an eternity had passed between the time of his first rescue, and when his head finally hit the pillow as he collapsed onto the small cot in his apartment. He drew the covers up to his chin without bothering to change, and closed his eyes. Taking in a weary breath, he turned over onto his side, ready to fall shamelessly into the world of dreams when he felt a tug of anguish and his eyes snapped open.

He tried to concentrate on the unexpected surge of emotions but it had vanished as quickly as it had come. Unnerved, he sat up and looked around the small Spartan like room. His eyes wandered the barren walls until they lighted on the small dresser opposite his bed. There, sitting atop the varnished wood, was an old photograph; the only one he kept around. His eyes sought out the woman in the picture as she sat proudly next to a small boy with thick black glasses and he couldn't help but repress a smile.

For a moment, he considered flying home to see his mother, he knew she would be missing him and he wanted to talk to her, to tell her of her grandson and let her know that he was alright, but he quickly brushed the thought aside. He needed his rest so that he would be ready to help sort out the aftermath of the storm as soon as the night completely surrendered to the dawn.

Lying on his back once more, he felt his eyelids droop dangerously. Pulling the covers up to his chin and crossing one arm behind his head, his mind flashed back to earlier in the night. A tug of sadness pulled distressingly at his heart as the image of a young boy, a victim of the raging tempest, flickered just behind his closed eyelids. Another sigh escaped him as he replayed the scene in his minds eye. He reminded him so much of Jason, and he couldn't have been much older than him either.

Clark felt his chest tighten sharply as the dead boy's face melted away and transformed into Jason's. He swallowed hard, reminding himself that he couldn't save every single one, but the pain of each loss still lingered, resonating with a fierce vengeance each time another innocent soul was lost to the steely clutches of death and inhumanity. He may have been Superman, but he could still be deeply touched by the sadness that accompanied the loss of human life.

He opened his eyes and tried to push the memory away, but it lingered like a festering wound that refused to heal. Pushing all thoughts of sleep from his mind, he stretched out and watched the shadows dance across his wall as the thin line of pink in the distance slowly spread across the world, bathing it in the warming rays of the sun. His mind turned toward Jason and subsequently toward Lois. On a night like this, he sincerely hoped that they were warm and safe in bed, but each time he thought of them, he felt an odd sensation of dread gnawing at the back of his mind.

Maybe he should fly over and make sure that they were alright. It might help to settle the fiery ball of anxiety that had knotted itself into a tight ball in the pit of his stomach. A surge of loneliness mingled with his anxiety as he threw the covers off and started for the window. He had to make sure…he had to see them with his own two eyes…

Casting a surreptitious look to and fro to make sure that no one saw him, he shot out of the window and up into the frosty darkness. Turning away from the warmth of dawn, he made quick work of crossing the city to the Lane/White residence. Before he even set foot on the ground, he knew that something terrible had happened there; he could feel it in the prickling hairs on the back of his neck.

Scanning the house he didn't find a single living soul. Instead, his eyes were drawn to the incorrigible aftermath of a horrible struggle. Furniture and broken glass was strewn about the downstairs, and the front door hung pitifully off its hinges. Here and there other debris littered the wood floors; pictures in broken frames scattered across the room, a teddy bear tossed into a corner, Jason's keyboard upside down near the back door.

A dark look creased Clark's features and the knot in his stomach gave a tremendous lurch as he retreated to the skies. Flying over Metropolis, he scanned the world beneath him for any sign of Lois or Jason, but came up empty handed.

A small cry of help emanated from the city but a quick glance told him that the police had the situation completely under control. He flew out over the harbor, lost in bitter thoughts.

And that was when he heard it; a heart shattering scream and a familiar voice crying out to the darkness. Diving, he flew low over the water, pushing himself to his full speed as he rocketed across the sky, coming up just short of an abandoned shipyard.

Clark felt her pain before he saw her. Lead on by the anguished cry still ringing vibrantly in his ears, he rounded a corner and spotted the object of his troubles lying in a crimson pool of blood.

"Lois!"

His voice echoed dully through the derelict yard, muffled by the snow and suppressing darkness. He could hear her heartbeat, and his own skipped a beat. It was slow, too slow!

"Lois, can you hear me?!" He demanded as he knelt hastily in the crimson snow by her side.

Gathering her head in his lap, he gave her a gentle shake.

"Please, Lois, please wake up!"

Her head merely lolled lifelessly in his hands. He could feel warm blood flowing over his fingers as he slid his hands under her motionless body. Drawing her close to his chest, like a mother would a small child, he saw an impossible amount of blood gleaming wetly on the snow. A stab of pain shot through is heart as he shot into the sky once more.

She can't be dead; he mentally screamed at himself. I'd never forgive myself. Why didn't I know something was wrong, how did I miss something as important as this!

He felt a ball of cold fury settle into his heart, and he knew that most of his anger was directed, not at who had done this horrible monstrosity, but at himself for not getting to her in time. If she died…he'd never forgive himself.

The cold of the world around him was nothing compared to the icy cold that had taken up residence in the hollow space within his heart that his burning anger had carved away. He felt the warmth of her body leaving him; taking with it a piece of his soul with every mile that passed by. He blinked back unshed tears as he landed at the hospital. Immediately, he was surrounded by nurses and doctors, they tried to take her from him, but he refused to let go, only acquiescing to their requests when the full impact of what was happening hit him, like a swift kick in the stomach.

Gently, he placed her on the hospital bed, and in the blink of an eye she was gone. Whisked away by the doctors that had surrounded him moments before, he now found himself standing virtually alone in the entrance, covered in blood and melting snow. A few bystanders stopped to gawk at him, but he paid them no mind. Every fiber of his being was concentrated on what was happening behind the steel doors at the end of the hallway. The tears he had held back earlier threatened to fall, but he swallowed hard and forced the prickling sensation back. To the casual observer, his demeanor was one of perfect calm. For all they knew, Lois was just another casualty of the storm who happened to have the good fortune to be rescued by the Man of Steel.

Heaving a ragged sigh, he finally lifted himself into the sky, heedless of the multitude of onlookers still gaping openly. He returned to his apartment long enough to wash the blood off of his hands and face before rushing back to the hospital. Landing on the roof, he hunkered down, listening intently to the struggle within the walls below him while simultaneously listening to the world around him for any sign or whisper of Jason.

Realizing that there was nothing more he could do by lurking helplessly on the rooftop, he once again took to the skies in a vain hope of finding his son. He made his way back to the shipyard in the hopes that he would have been near his mother. He listened intently for any sign that the boy was near, but he could hear nothing, not even the familiar small heartbeat that he had come to know so well over the past few weeks. It was almost as if the boy had vanished off the face of the Earth, blinked out of existence in the twinkle of an eye.

Exhausted and mentally drained, he retuned to the hospital late the next morning. He floated gently into Lois's hospital room, and slowly walked towards her bedside. Had he not know it was her he would have mistaken her for someone else. She was so desperately pale and fragile beneath the thin white sheets. A thousand different hoses and machines seemed to be beeping and humming a tune of despair and melancholy that echoes too brightly in the tiny room.

Approaching her was no easy task. He felt his heart sink with every beep that issued from the heart monitor, and found himself praying that she would make it through the coming storm. The ordeal she had already been through paled in comparison to the suffering that lay before her.

Clark shifted his gaze from the machines to her face. He swallowed hard to rid himself of the lump that had formed in his throat. A cold shiver ran down his spine as he gently placed his hand over hers. Her skin felt cold beneath his touch, and his heart sank even lower. The sunlight that flooded through the open window washed over her, making her appear even paler than she was. Blinking back unshed tears he tightened his grip on her hand.

Emotions ran rampant behind his cool exterior, but not a single one rippled above the surface. Anxiety over Lois and Jason mingled with his fear for their safety, but was overshadowed by an even deeper pool of emotions. Anger, no, fury was a more justifiable term; fury over what had been done to his family. He was furious at whoever had the audacity to commit such an atrocious act of inhumanity, but more than that, he was furious at himself for having let it happen in the first place.

You can't be everywhere at once, this isn't your fault. He tried to reason with his emotions, tried to see the bleak reality that he couldn't save everyone all the time. He wasn't ubiquitous. People died everyday, despite the near heroic efforts of doctors and nurses around the world. Why should he be any different? He did what he could, and that should have been enough. But this time…this time it wasn't. This time it was his family…

His eyes misted over and he reached up impatiently to wipe away a tear. Gently, almost lovingly, he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. The gesture, though intentional, brought no more comfort to him than it did to her.

"I'm so sorry, Lois," he heard himself mumble, but his words were lost among the beeping and whirling of the machines and his own desperate heart beating wildly in his chest. "I'll find him," he promised as he leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. "I'll bring him back to you."

But as he left the world behind him, a feeling of uncertainty tainted the promise he had made. How could he find Jason when he didn't have a clue where to start? How could he find one small boy who appeared to have vanished without a trace into the harsh, unforgiving darkness; one small, indistinguishable cry lost amid a swelling sea of sorrow?


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