Disclaimer: I own nothing. The wonderful world of Harry Potter, belongs to J.K.Rowling.
O Brother, where art thou
After all had departed, he remained hiding in the shadows of the trees for a long while, debating with himself whether he should pay his respects. He did not love, nor did he respect the man that lay in the oak coffin six feet under. He was there merely out of duty.
Man. Man that lay in the oak coffin, six feet under. Not a man, but a boy, a tiny little kid, who had done more wrong than right in his life. A confused, misjudged little boy, with no direction in life.
As he edged closer to the gravestone, the rain started to fall, caressing his pale skin, hitting the smooth surface of the tombstone with a soft, hissing sound. A burning sensation filled his chest, the realisation of guilt, the realisation of neglect. He did not know the man who lay in the coffin beneath his feet.
An invisible line of fire had separated them from very early on, like a fence, increasing in heat and hate as time went on, so that approach was made impossible without the threat of being burnt. Anxiety, animosity, acrimony, they all existed in this unnatural relationship between the two men. But it was his responsibility to extinguish that fire, and he had failed.
He crouched down by the headstone, and the rain was hitting his face hard now, the smell of damp earth filled his nostrils, and another burning sensation manifested in him. Desire. Desire to know the boy that lay in the coffin, desire to understand what drove him to his death. It was easy to call him a coward, easier on himself, but was it really cowardly to have the courage to flee from the kinfolk of Lord Voldemort? Desire. Who was he? What was his favourite colour? His favourite book, food, song? Did he have a girlfriend? Could she tell him all these thing? Would he then feel atoned? Why did he do it? He was so young, only seventeen. It wasn't fair, he was not responsible for his breeding, for what he thought was right and what he thought would earn him eternal glory, surely it was the fault of all those around him for misinforming him of trust, loyalty, honour. Surely it was… 'My fault, I was there, I watched him lose control, I could have taken him with me. No… then we would have both been out casts. But… he would have been alive… I killed him, it isn't fair, he was so young, he didn't deserve this. Did he think I didn't care, because I did, I just suppressed it, mother wouldn't have it… mother, yes it's all her fault she divided us, she…'
Gently he outstretched his hand, the rain was pouring down now, restricting his visibility. His wet hair clung to his face, raindrops, dripping from the end of his nose. And the tips of his fingers met the smooth, cold grave-head. Under his fingers he could feel the soft, flat, icy stone. As he stroked it, he closed his eyes. The sound of the dripping rain filled his ears and the smell of wet concrete violated his nose. Then his fingers met what it was searching for, and with them he traced the letters. Regulus Alphard Black.
A single hot tear slid down his cold cheek.
'Sleep well my brother, until we meet again.'
A/N Some fics write about how they were really close when they were young. This is how i feel the relationship between Sirius and Reguls was. Divided. Obviously there was an invisible bond that there always is between siblings ( Ch1 OotP Dudley Demented-Harry was never going to leaveDudley to the dementor) but as with my evil older brother, I love him sure (out of duty), but i don't like him. This fic kind of looks at Sirius's regrets, Hmm note to self, get to know brother before meteor hits Earth.
