Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. They belong to their creators.
A/N: This story gives you Sara's thoughts and feelings. It isn't necessary to read Familiar, but it could make things a bit more clear. BTW thank you so much for the kind reviews for Familiar.
Pairing: N/S
She knew
Obsessions. Obsessions had been her drive for so long. She knew it was her way to deal with the horrifying assault, which had changed her life forever. She had been obsessed with her studies, she had become obsessed with her work and last but not least she had become obsessed with Grissom. Grissom, her mentor, her supervisor, who had taught her so much. He had taught her the biggest lesson. The lesson of how not to feel, but somehow she had not totally mastered that skill. She couldn't remember the last time she had worked so hard to learn something, but in the end it only made her feel more, made her more involved. It was caused by someone.
Handsome, fun loving Nick. Always ready to cast you a smile, Nick. He thought she hadn't noticed. How could she not have noticed? Noticed the way he made her feel. Protected. Protected and unconditionally loved. Talking was so easy amongst them, but the silence between them was even easier, comforting.
But behind that handsome reassuring smile, she saw something else. She recognized something she herself had tried to bury deep inside the depth of subconsciousness. That recognition made her desperate, she desperately needed to feel. Get in touch with those buried feelings, because she knew that she wouldn't be able to reach out to him if she didn't let herself feel those long forgotten emotions.
Every time she looked up, he was there with a smile, a look, a touch. Giving her the security she longed for, craved for.
This time it had been different. They had been talking in the locker room when she had looked up to him and her heart ached. Her heart broke in a million pieces. For him. Those soulful brown eyes of his, which mirrored her emotions. Then and there she knew the time had come. The time to let him know, she knew. The time to let him in. Into her carefully built wall. She wanted him in her life. Needed him in her life. Not only for a smile, a look or a touch, but she needed him for so much more.
And here they were. In a place she thought she never would be. She felt safe, safe enough to let him in. Holding him, she knew he let her in as well and building on this feeling of security, of love they felt for each other, she knew they would be fine.
END
