Cadia drill sergeant
"Evening privates!" The drill sergeant shouted as he paced around the mess hall. "I am sergeant Harker. From now to the point of you leaving this camp, whether it be dead or alive, you will address me as sir. The first and last things that come out of your food holes will be sir. Is that understood?"
"Sir. Yes, sir." The troops responded.
"Speak up, I can´t hear the sound of whining maggots."
"Sir! Yes, sir!"
"That´s better. Understand that in this corps you will learn to hate, you will learn to kill, and you will forget how to cry. There will be prejudices in this corps. I don´t care if you have a shriveled little meat sack between your legs or if you have a fat, swollen stake growing out of there. I don´t care if you like women with tits the size of cannon balls or if you take your men like I take my coffee. The only thing I care about is if you can be transformed into stone-cold, hardened killing machines the likes of which the Emperor of Mankind will be proud of. My job here is to weed out the weak, cheating scum that aren´t worthy to serve in my beloved corps. Know that if you can´t perform in this corps, I will make sure that you are sent home with enough shame that you will want to fling yourself of the highest peaks of the tallest hives. Is that understood?"
"Sir! Yes sir!"
"Well fancy fucking that, the hall of maggots can understand basic fucking concepts." He stopped before one of the troops. "You. What´s you name, private?"
"Sir. Private Lardo, sir."
"Lardo! What kind of shit name is that? What hive do you come from, private?"
"Sir. Hive Dramo, sir."
"Does your hive manage the sewage waste, private?
"Sir. I don´t know, sir."
"Well that explains a lot now, doesn´t it. Do you have any siblings, private?"
"Sir. Yes, sir."
"So, you mean to tell me that your parents managed to produce more offspring with their half-backed seed?" He didn´t give the private a chance to answer. "I don´t like your name. Your private Grease Ball now. Do you like that name?"
"Sir. Yes, sir." The private answered without breaking from his pose.
"Well in that case I better give you something you won´t like. Drop and give my fifty and when your done give me fifty more with one hand. Do you understand what I want you to do?"
"Sir. Yes, sir."
"Then why the fuck are standing around like some half-finished statue? Get on your face and give me fifty before I rip of your head and get one of the tech-priests to replace it with an empty bowl!"
The private hit the ground and started doing the drops before anyone in the hall had a chance to blink.
"Now," Sergeant Harker returned to his round but quickly stopped before another private. "How tall are you private?"
"Sir. Seven point three, sir."
"Fuck me, I didn´t know maggots grew that long. Where your parents ogryns?"
"Sir. No, sir."
"Bullshit! I bet your mom can´t through a door without slamming her fat forehead into the frame. Let me see your warface."
"Sir. Yes, sir. Ahhhh!"
Harker hit the private so suddenly he had no chance to flinch. Instead he hit the floor with blood running from his nose.
"What kind of warface was that? Were you trying to scare a bug out your bed?"
"Sir. No, sir." The private got to his feet clutching his nose.
"Then give me your real warface!"
"Auhhh!"
Harker glared at him. "Did I break your nose, private?"
"Sir. Yes, sir."
"Well remove your damned hand from it."
The private pulled his hand away and the blood started dripping from both his nose and his fingers.
"Looks like there´s been an improvement. I´ll give you a third chance, give me your warface."
"Arrghhh!"
"Work on it private."
"Sir. Yes, sir."
"So," Sergeant Harker continued his walk around the hall. "Maggots, welcome to the Cadian Shock Trooper Corps."
