Hello once again.
After not updating for the entire duration of 2017 but once, I give you two updates in less than a week, including the introduction of a new fic I call "Writer's Block", another idea I obtained at the crack ass of dawn.
I assume you've read the summary, so here I go.
12:45 A.M. July 9th, 2026. College student Marco Diaz, an undergraduate majoring in history at Echo Creek University, typed the final words of his three-hundred and twenty-three page book entitled Kein Kampf, a story about a Jewish time traveler, who in the effort of trying to stop the Holocaust befriends Adolf Hitler.
The idea was achieved while Diaz was under the influence of marijuana, and after constant pushing from his friends, he started planning to actually develop the novel. Diaz considered the plot of the book to be absolutely moronic, but he'd thought it'd be funny to produce.
That was six months ago. Now he had a finished product. Now all he had to do was print it (he bought $650 worth of ink to be safe) and shop around the area for publishers in the area. Who knew, maybe an incompetent publisher would actually print his book, and he could make a few bucks off of it.
Only time would tell.
Time Skip Quote: Legalize the Truth
July 16th, 2026. The day after finishing the book, he scheduled four meetings with publishers over the next three weeks. This was the first.
It was a printing company called "Wong Printing", a group that published works that typically had poor initial sales that then would become cult classics after five years.
The meeting started at 3:07 P.M.
Marco walked in dressed in black-and-white Converses, a pair of khakis, and a red button-up shirt with sleeves he rolled up to his elbows.
"Diaz, I presume?" James Wong, the head of the publishing branch of the company asked.
"Yes sir."
Marco was not nervous, yet not confident at the same time. He knew his book was shit, and that no one in their right mind would publish it, but he actually needed someone to publish it in order for him to make any money.
"You're younger than I presumed," Wong said, "How old are you?" He asked.
"I'm twenty-four." Marco answered.
"Well that's the youngest I've received by a longshot. Fire!" He said the "fire!" part of the sentence quickly, pointing his fingers (which were shaped to look like guns) at Marco, pressing him to present his book.
"Well, the book is called Kein Kampf, which means 'No Struggle.' I bet you already know what that is a spoof of." Marco started.
Wong nodded his head slowly.
"Well, it's about a time traveler named George Miller, who is a devoted Jew, who sets out to prevent the Holocaust, however, in the process, he becomes friends with Adolf Hitler."
"Well," Wong started, "how long is it?" He asked. "Three-hundred and twenty-three pages." Marco answered. "Seems a bit long for such an easy-to-grasp concept." Wong said.
"Why is it so long?" Wong added.
"I tried my best to stay historically accurate," Marco responded, "I researched quite a bit and the wrote the most detailed descriptions I possibly could." Marco said quickly.
"So what portion of the book do you have with you?" Wong asked. "The whole thing. I can give you a portion if you-" "First chapter if you will." Wong quickly interrupted.
Marco flipped to the end of the first chapter and pulled out all of the pages before it. That totaled to twenty-seven pages.
"Give me fifteen minutes." Wong said, putting on his reading glasses.
"Alrighty." Marco said.
Marco would spend the next fifteen minutes playing with his thumbs. When he wasn't doing that, he'd look up at Wong, who would take notes every thirty-to-forty-five second or so. After the fifteen minutes was up, Wong took off his reading glasses and addressed his problems.
"When we look for a book to publish," Wong started, "we want excitement. The last book we published, The Lord of the Fries, when introduced, left us wanting more after we read the first chapter. In five years, it'll be a best-seller. Your book's concept is great," Wong continued, "but the execution leaves the book dry. I'm sorry, but we won't publish your novel."
Marco looked at his phone. 3:30 P.M. It had only been twenty-three minutes.
"Is that it?" Marco asked disappointingly.
"Yup, thanks for your time, and best of luck." Wong answered politely.
Marco got up slowly and walked to the door. "Thank you." Marco said to Wong. "You're welcome." Wong answered back.
And with that, Marco's first chance was gone and out the door.
Legalize the Truth
July 18th, 2027. 8:29 A.M. Marco had reported to Jellybean Publishing. Marco had the same outfit, but with red-and-white converses to match his shirt.
Jellybean was relatively new, only being started two years before. They had only published three books in that two years, and only one had been particularly successful.
Marco walked in, and, to his surprise, at the desk was a man who looked younger than he did. Rudely, Marco got off on the wrong foot.
"How old are you?" Marco asked.
"The name is Richard Pickens," Pickens said, slightly angered by the fact he didn't ask his name first, "I'm thirty-two." He said.
"So, you must be Marco Diaz, the twenty-six year old?" He asked.
"Yes sir."
"Any experience in writing?" Pickens asked.
"No sir," Marco answered, "The closest thing to writing a book before this was a creative writing class I took as a sophomore in high school."
Pickens took note of that.
"So what its your book about?" Pickens asked.
"A guy named George Miller," he started. "He's a devout Jew who stumbles upon a time machine. He sets out to stop the Holocaust, put in the process, he accidentally becomes friends with Adolf Hitler."
This time Marco made sure to spice up the book a little, in order to make it sound less boring.
"Uh-huh. Enjoying it so far. Does it have a witty title?" He asked.
"It's called Kein Kampf,-" "Which means "No Struggle" in German, and is a play on words of Mein Kampf! Interesting..." Pickens interrupted in excitement.
"Do you have any of the book with you, and if so, how much?" Pickens asked. "The whole thing." Marco said, giving the same response he did to Wong.
"Give me the first two chapters, please." Pickens demanded politely. Marco pulled out the two, which totaled to fifty-one pages.
"Give me forty-five minutes," Pickens said, "There's McDonald's on the fifth floor. Get some food while I'm reading and be back in at least an hour." Marco got up and headed towards the door. "Got it." He said.
Marco ordered a twenty-piece Chicken McNugget Meal (no, there is no sponsorship sadly) and an iced coffee for Richard (gifts get you everywhere). After forty minutes, he finished and head back up to the top floor, where the meeting was taking place. Once he got there, he spent the remaining five minutes of the original allotted time to play and act out certain scenarios in his mind.
When he walked back in, Pickens was done and had a smile on his face. Marco did not notice this and sat down.
"Iced coffee?" Marco asked.
"Oh wow, that's the second favor you've done for me today." Pickens answered, which confused Marco.
"Second favor?" He asked.
"Oh, yeah," Pickens started, "This book is amazing, and we will have it printed by next month." He answered excitedly.
Marco was dumbstruck. This was a stoner idea that he expected to be shut down by all four publishers, and here he was on his second scheduled meeting, ready to get his book published.
"Diaz, I see a bright future for both of us," Pickens said, "Now let's work on a contract."
"We'll give you a guaranteed $10,000, and for every book we sell, you'll get 50% of the profit. We sell all of our books for $24.99, so let's say we sell 500 books, you get-" Pickens pulled out his calculator, "$6,247.50. Get the gist?"
Marco nodded in disbelief. He was on track to make a guaranteed $10,000 and then some.
"The contract will be ready in about a week or two. But for now, consider Kein Kampf a Jellybean exclusive, and possible cornerstone." Pickens said, still in excitement.
"Y-yes sir." Marco said, still in disbelief, choking on his own spit.
"See you in a week or two, Mr. Diaz." Pickens said, ushering Marco to the door.
"Alright."
Legalize the Truth
Marco spent the night on the town, with his friends.
Marco had successfully worked a marijuana-induced thought into $10,000.
Huh, what his dad said about stoners was true.
And that $10,000 was all he ever expected.
Legalize the Truth
Well, that is done and over with. Hope it's satisfactory so far.
Who can tell me where the Time Skip quote comes from? You get meaningless points if you get it correct.
Leave a review if you'd like to put in some input.
See you next time.
