Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or any parody of Jack and the Beanstalk every made. Enjoy it.

Storm Hawks and the Beanstalk

Once upon a time, in the world of Atmos, there lived a group of teens called the Storm Hawks. They were Aerrow, the redhead sky knight, Finn, the blonde sharpshooter, Piper, the tanned specialist, Junko, the strongman wallop, Stork, the merb helmsman, and Radarr, the pe- I mean, mission specialist. This group was famous for their battles with Cyclonians and winning with an odd amount of luck. They flew around on their home-ship called the Condor and fought for the freedom of all Atmos

But all wasn't well with the Storm Hawks. Since Finn's investments with Skyron plummeted, the team was in debt and had no money to pay. So, they had to do the one thing they didn't want to do: sell Junko's most prize cow plushie, Milky White.

"No! You can't take her away from me!" yelled the wallop, as he was cornered with his plushie in hand. The others surrounded him, not wanting to tempt the strongman to do something wrong. So, they tried reasoning, since he was smarter than most of his race, but still was emotional.

"Relax, Junko," Piper said, "We are just selling your plushie and not your metal collection. Besides, Finn will come with you to get a good price. Right, Finn?" The specialist glared at the blonde-haired boy, who was acting all cool.

"Yea…" he simply said, as he carefully moved to Junko. The wallop looked at him and sniffed. He knew it would be okay if Finn was around; he was just nice in his own way.

So, the two began their journey to sell Milky White, while the others waved them off. Except for Stork, who just sighed, "We're doom."


After a few minutes of walking, the wallop and human boy came upon an odd man, who looked like someone from the loony bin. He was wearing a magician hat and cloak and had a long, white beard. He stopped to two before saying, "Hey! I'll trade that cow for three magic beans!"

Finn turned to the man and yelled, "It's a plushie! Not a real cow! Besides, it is worth five magic beans!" Junko looked at his friend with a confused look on his face. Milky White wasn't worth five magic beans; she was worth ten magic beans. He was about to make that correction, before the man interrupted him.

"Sold!" the old man yelled, as he switched the cow and beans, and ran off, leaving the two behind. The two stood there, dumbfounded before looking at each other. They didn't believe what had happen. But how they will explain to the team, they will never know.

"Don't worry;" said Finn, "I'll explain to the team what had happen."


"You SOLD our cow for BEANS!!" yelled Piper, looking really peeved off. The sharpshooter had just finished his story and was looking cool. The rest, except for Junko, wasn't.

"Magic beans," said the wallop, who was awed, "Even though Milky White was worth ten magic beans." He smiled even though the specialist wasn't buying this.

"Junko, your cow plushie wasn't worth ten magic beans." said Aerrow, looking very concern for his friend. Piper smiled; at least someone had sense in this team. At least that what she thought before hearing him say, "She was worth thirty magic beans!"

"Actually, she was worth fifty magic beans and a cure for the common cold," said Stork, who was being sarcastic. The girl sighed, face-palming at this conversation. Then, she walked out and threw the beans under the Condor.

Later that night, they all went to sleep, not knowing of the magic being brewed.


When it came to mourning, the Storm Hawks woke up to find that the beans really were magic. They grew into a huge beanstalk that went all the way up to the clouds. Stork was having a heart attack from the vines crushing the Condor.

"MY SHIP!!" he yelled, as the others looked at the damage outside. It wasn't that bad, but this was their merbian helmsman. He always thinks things were worst for him. They just shrugged it off and looked around.

"Well, it's official, we're sky high," said Aerrow, being the leader he was, "But I don't get it, how can we be this when we already live in the clouds?"

"Plot holes…" Stork stated, as he twitched. Radarr screeched as he landed on his pilot's head. The merb had a way to appear scary at times.

They all just stood there, before hearing Finn yelled, "HEY! There's a castle!" Then, he pointed at a fourteenth-century castle made out of stone, with a door in front. The others turned and started to head for it, hoping for some direction.

When they got there, the Storm Hawks found out that the castle and door had been much bigger than before. In fact, the house was for a giant instead of a normal, human being. But since they were starving and tired, they snuck in hoping that whoever was in would be nice enough to help them.

The group stayed quiet as they snuck in, but they heard some violin music. They turned their heads to the music to see a pink-haired woman with yellow eyes and wearing a full-length dress. They soon realized that this was Ravess, who somehow grown a few miles taller as she was Giant-sized.

"Dude, how did Ravess get so high?" asked Finn, as he stared at the giant woman. She didn't notice them as she was into playing her music perfectly. (Yuck!)

Piper turned to him and said, "I don't know. Growth Crystals?" Ravess stopped and turned to the Storm Hawks, suddenly realizing that she was being watched by very small people. Or by her point of view…

"RATS!!" she yelled, as she got onto a chair and holding onto the dress.

"Rats! Where?!" yelled Stork, as he looked around for the rats. The others soon realized that she was talking about them, grabbed the merb, and started to run towards a table. They climbed up it and started to hide among the various objects, hoping that the woman didn't notice them. Unfortunately, they didn't notice the sleeping giant on the table.

Ravess got bored of screaming and turned to the giant man. She puffed as she walked over to him and slapped him with a fan. The blue-haired man woke up and turned to his sister with purple eyes. He smiled stupidly, not knowing what was wrong.

The woman crossed her arms as she said, "Now that you are awake, those rats are gone now." The man frowned in disappointment before she continued, "I'll be going to market, Snipe. If those rats appear here again, smash them and clean up the mess this time."

The giant, Snipe, smiled and he said, "Okay." Ravess smiled as she left. Then, the man turned to his three objects on the table; a sack of gold, a chicken, and a harp with a woman bow.

He laid his head on the table as he played with his gold coins. Then, he turned to the chicken and said, "Lay." The chicken clucked as it started to make an egg. And when it did, the egg was real gold. Snipe smiled and turned to the harp to order it to play some music, but stopped when he growled at the sight.

There was a blonde-haired rat, or Finn in human person terms, was flirting with his harp. The sharpshooter was telling it some of his pickup lines as the instrument girl giggled. Piper groaned from her hiding place at this sight.

"HEY!" yelled the giant, as the blonde turned to him, "What are you doing with my harp?!" Finn sweatdropped as he cowered at the sight of the giant.

"Whoa! Easy… I was just talking to her, that's all." He said, as his eyes moved up and down. "I didn't know this harp belonged to you, Snipe." The man raised an eyebrow at the boy, confused. But then he smiled at his comment.

"So, you heard of me, huh?!" Snipe said, as he set his feet on the table. "Snipe! Famous smasher and giant morpher extraordinaire!" The blonde smiled as he turned to his red-headed leader. Aerrow nodded as they got the same idea.

"Oh really?" Finn asked slyly, "Change into a mosquito, our size." The giant blinked as he leveled his head to the boy. He raised an eyebrow as he was confused by his request.

"A mosquito, huh?" he asked, before coming up with other suggestions. "What about a dragon, or a phoenix?"

The surfer boy smiled as he said, "No, a mosquito." The man blinked, before smiling big.

"Okay then." He said, before getting ready to morph. He closed his eyes as he started to change. By now, the rest of the Storm Hawks got out of their places and gotten ready to attack the man, but it didn't really work out that way.

Snipe changed himself into a Poison Three-toed Spiny Gorge Sloth. By now, Stork had said his trademark line, "We're doom."

The morpher turned to his audience, realizing now that there were more of them now. "Hey!" he bellowed, "No one tricks Snipe like that!" He morphed back and grabbed the group before they could escape. Then, he placed them all in a box. Once they got in, he shut the door tight and locked it up.

Piper pulled out a luminating crystal as the group looked around the chest. They saw a man in his late twenties with black-jelled hair and red eyes. He was wearing armor of the Cyclonian Talon commander. There was also a girl with brunette hair, blue eyes, and wearing strange clothes that weren't from Atmos. They identified the man as the Dark Ace, their sworn enemy. The girl, however, was indefinable.

"What are you doing here?!" yelled Aerrow, as he glared at the man. The commander turned to him and scoffed. They didn't have a good relationship.

"I flew up here and slept. When I came to, I was in this box." The Dark Ace said, before shrugging, "Not like you care though, sky knight."

"I think I'm in the wrong story." the girl said, as she was playing with some string, "Anyway, my name is Emma." The group turned to her, confused by why she said that without looking at them. But they had a bigger problem ahead, getting out of the chest.

"Do you have a plan, Piper?" Junko asked, turning to the tanned girl. She shook her head, nothing came to mind. It looked like they were stuck her until a cough was heard.

"Oh know, this reminds me of Mickey and the Beanstalk." the strange girl said, as looked at the group. They turned to her with curious eyes as she explained, "It was a spin-off of Jack and the Beanstalk, done by Disney in the forties of Earth. Donald and Goofy was locked in a chest with Mickey on the outside."

Aerrow raised an eyebrow as he asked, "How did they get out then?"

Emma smiled as she continued, "The harp put the giant to sleep while Mickey grabbed his key. But since we have no key, we need to improvise with something else." Then, she turned to the Dark Ace and the sword on his back.

Soon everyone turned to the man, as he now realized why they were staring at them. "Oh no, you're not getting my sword." he said, as he backed away.

"First off, it's Aerrow's sword." Piper said, as she advanced forward, "Secondly, you have no choice if you want to escape." The raven-haired man shook his head, as he started to get ready.

"I'd rather be locked up here than escape with Storm Hawks!" he yelled, as he started to run the prison. Piper and Aerrow started to chase. Stork, Junko, Radarr, Finn, and Emma watched the fiasco.

"Finn! Junko! Try to get the harp to help us! Radarr and Stork! Help us get the Dark Ace." commanded Aerrow, as he continued to chase the Dark Ace. The merb and furry went to help their comrades, as the blonde hopped onto the Wallop's shoulders. Then, he looked out the keyhole to call out.

"Cosima! Play until Snipe's asleep and then signal us when he is! Okay?!" Finn called out, as he watched. The brunette looked up at him with curious eyes.

"Who's Cosima?" she asked, confused by why the sharpshooter said that.

He turned to her and said, "Cosima is the harp's name. She told me so." Junko was really amazed at this as he held onto Finn's legs.

"Wow, I never thought you could speak fluent harp, Finn." he said, as he looked up at him.

"Well, there are a lot of things you don't know." the blonde said. Emma smiled and then turned to the confusion in the room, which by her standards, was pretty funny.


Several minutes later, the harp gave off her signal as Finn turned to the others. "Okay, Snipe's asleep." he said, as he was handed the Dark Ace's sword by Aerrow. Then, he started to picklock the lock. The others watched with suspense.

Unfortunately, the Talon commander was peeved as he tied up and said, "You're going to be sorry about this." Aerrow turned to him with an amused look on his face.

"We'll see about that." The redhead said, as he heard a click. That meant they were free. Then, he took out daggers and cut the man's ropes. Even if he was his greatest enemy, the Dark Ace was still a human.

Then, the others started to get out of the chest. They started to sneak across the table and off, but not before grabbing a few things. For the Dark Ace, it was his sword; Finn, Cosima the Harp; Radarr, the chicken that laid the golden eggs, and Junko; a giant gold coin.

"Hey, Stork, how many magic beans does it take to equal a giant coin?" the wallop asked, as he looked happy about. Stork rolled his eyes as he continued to walk towards the entrance. When the group got there, the Dark Ace left them.

"Sorry, Dork Hawks, but we are still enemies." he said, as he took off. The Storm Hawks sweatdropped at that comment, since they weren't dorks. But it didn't matter, they were about to escape anyway. That was until…

"Hey, where the strange girl?" asked Finn, as he held onto the harp tightly. They all looked around until they heard a scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" it yelled, as Emma came running off. She stopped and turned to the group. "I was trying to tie up the giant's shoes so he wouldn't chase us. But then I realized he didn't have any shoes… But it was too late I was already on his foot and now… He's awake."

"He's WHAT?!" yelled Stork, who was by now beyond panicked. Suddenly, the floor started to rumbled. The team then turned to Snipe, who was running towards then, mace in hand.

"COME BACK HERE! YOU SKYRATS!" he bellowed, as he waved his mace around. The Storm Hawks acted quickly as they got onto their bikes and started to ride out the door and towards the Condor.

"Hey, how did our rides get here?" asked Piper. She was confused by how that their rides were near them.

"Plot device, Ms. Piper." said Emma, "Plot device." Once the group got to the ship, Stork immediately tried to get out of here. But since the vines were stuck to the Condor, they were trapped. With no way out and no way to defend against the giant, they were doom.

But then, Radarr pulled out a spray can of "Weed-B-Gone" and sprayed it on the beanstalk. It retreated, making the ship to fly off. The giant stopped and yelled out in defeat. His prey flew off into the sunset.

Afterwards, the group started to look for the man who sold the magic beans. It turned out that he was an escapee from the Psychotic Ward, who had a strange hobby of eating plushies. Junko cried as he saw Milky White mangled up.

Cosima stayed with the Storm Hawks for a while until she found a job being a professional singer on Terra Neon. She gathered enough money to have the harp on her back removed. Finn still writes to her for support (And for X's and O').

Emma got directions back to her story from another lost character. She still didn't remember how she got there in the first place.

As for the giants, they never had rat problems again. Ravess bought a pest control hotel that gave rodents the time of their lifetime. They never had rats again. Snipe, however, still miss his hen.

The Dark Ace made it back to Cyclonia. (…There should be more.) He didn't get in trouble for being out for six weeks. (That's better.)

And so, with a lifetime supply of gold and adventures to follow, the Storm Hawks lived…


"… Happily Ever After." said Repton, as he closed his book. Then, he turned to Leugy, who was happy that he had his bedtime story. The older Raptor, however, was not.

"Ohhhh… Read it again. Please." The little brother said, as he huggled his teddy bear.

The other lizard rolled his eyes as he started to walk away and say, "No, my ssssanity won't take any more."

The End


Author's notes:

Finally, a Jack and a Beanstalk story done by the Storm Hawks, I always wanted to do these Fairy Tale parodies. It must be better since this is the first Storm Hawks fairy tale parody on here. If there is anyone else who has written a fairy tale using the Storm Hawks, please say so because I'm not evil.

And if you like this story, please read Between Earth and Sky. It's not as funny as this one, but it is still good. It also stars one of the characters from this story.

Also, most of this is based on Mickey and the Beanstalk, which I do not own. Please don't kill me.

Please Read and Review!