Save The Best For Last
A/N: My sister persuaded me to continue writing. The truth is: Her internet STILL works. She called the company so I'll be able to post for a couple more days. They'll be one shots like this.
If I can think of anymore fics that might interest you guys, (I won't be able to post them on ) leave your email addresses and I'll send you them. You can email me back comments, or you can just read them. Let me know if you're interested.
Summary: You give me a small smile that I know is forced. I know you're wondering why I'm smiling like a love-struck fool, James. I wonder who he is. It's killing me, Lily. To see you smile like you're in love.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Regular is James' thoughts
Bold is Lily's thoughts
Italics is the letter
Save The Best For Last
You're smiling at me. Again. You always smile, like you're holding a secret. You always look at Sirius like you're hiding something; and enjoying it at that. I can't see what could have taken your fancy—or who. I just know you're not smiling because of me. You'd never be able to smile that big because of me. I'm just your friend. James Potter... you're friend that's... madly in love with you.
You see me smiling. You give me a small smile that I know is forced. I know you're wondering why I'm smiling like a love-struck fool. I know you're confused and you want to have clarification. I know that you'll understand after I explain. I'll explain, James. You know I will. But I can't... not now. Right now... I'm too much in love...
I wonder who he is. It's killing me, Lily. To see you smile like you're in love. Like you're with someone you'd never want to be without. And I force a smile back because I know that person isn't me. We're friends now; we're friends because we're Heads. We're friends and I know that's all you want to be. I see it... And I wonder... do you fancy Sirius? I see you looking at him and I walked in on you guys hugging yesterday. It makes me wonder... and it makes me jealous.
You must think I don't see it, James. Well... I do. I see your thoughts. I know how you feel. Sirius and I? Honestly, James. You've claimed to love me, Lily Evans, for as long as you could remember. I thought you'd know better. I thought you'd see in my eyes that I'm smiling for one purpose. For one reason. Your eyes watch Sirius leave through the portrait hole; we're alone. I quietly sit down next to you and start talking about this boy I know...
You're telling me all this... why, Lily? Why are you torturing me with this? With the boy that was too foolish to see your longing looks? With the boy that's about to break your heart? Why must you break mine in the process? I see you smile sadly, as though I don't get it. I assure you I do... but you continue to say I don't. Once again, I wonder why you're smiling at me that way. I see you look at the portrait hole and I ask (before thinking clearly) if it's Sirius who has taken your fancy...
Sirius Black? I sometimes wonder how you became Head Boy James. How did you have full marks on almost every homework you've ever done? Maybe you need to get your glasses fixed. I tell you this jokingly and you still wonder what I mean. I lean my head back on the couch and rest my chin on my knee as we sit in silence for a minute. You ask again if it's Sirius who has caught my eye. Silently, but solemnly, I shake my head no. I try to get you to understand without words, but I know that's not possible.
I'm starting to wonder if I don't understand. I wonder why you're staring at me, as though nothing particular is flowing through your brain. An owl flies through the window and leaves you a note. You pick it up and read it before throwing it on the ground as though it means nothing. I ask if I can look at it, and you say yes without question. I read it and what I see makes me wonder.
Lily,
I see your beauty
It engulfs me so
Hogsmeade is coming up
Would you care to go?
Whe had a load of fun, last time, Lily-Flower. I ask you to be my girlfriend if you will except my date proposal. You're amazing, Miss Evans.
Fabian Prewett
At first I find myself getting completely jealous. It seems as though I don't need to ask questions any longer. But I ask you if he's your love and you giggle quietly.
Fabian Prewett? Why can't you see what's in front of you? Why can't you understand that I love you, James Potter? I tell you about my offers and you start questioning each one. Is it him? Or him? Or him? I tell you I'll give you a hint to who this mystery man is.
"He was the first person I ever met here at Hogwarts... but he wasn't my friend."
Once again you look at my cluelessly and start naming all my old friends; all the blokes I was friends with from first year. You mention Remus and I smile sweetly, saying no to each one. You don't seem to understand and I lean over to kiss you. You question what I did, but you don't say anything.
"But I thought you knew him from first year—"
"I met him in first year... but he was prat then..."
"And he's not now?" you ask, moving closer.
I never thought I'd hear you say that, Lily. I'd never imagine you tell me in such a way. I lean to kiss you again, just to make sure it's real, and you kiss back without question.
"I'm the last person I would have guessed," I admitted.
"You know what they say," you reply grinning at me.
Save the best for last.
