If Only To Make You Proud
Summary: Short One-shot So I chose this path, if only to make you proud. And now I waste away. Angst and mild language.
Disclaimer: I do not own Draco Malfoy or any of the Malfoy's for that matter. But you should now that… right?
Wow an actual update! It's amazing! Well here is my latest one-shot. Enjoy and R&R if you have anything to say about it.
I joined, if only to make you proud. I agreed, sold my soul, condemned myself to a lifetime of wickedness and betrayal. A lifetime of hate, hidden pain, and longing. Love was forbidden, pain did not exist, emotions were illegal, and tears could never be shown. It is the way of the Malfoy name. To show anything akin to emotion, unless pure hate, was never allowed because then you would seem human and Malfoy's aren't humans. Malfoy's were far more than mere humans, because they were perfect. They were larger and greater than life itself. To appear as anything less was the ultimate betrayal of an ancient name, an ancient family, and an ancient bloodline. No Malfoy's were nothing more than cold, heartless bastards, of the highest order, taking joy in only death, pain, power, and money. I ruined my life, just to make you proud. But you were never proud of me. Never was and never would be. You've long since been destroyed and I now rot where you once rotted away. And I'm here because I chose this path, because I wanted to make you proud.
However, you could never be proud of me. A cowardly boy who always hid at the first sign of danger. I had a chance to be great, yet it slipped away because I had been scared and I had been weak. It was my task and I was to fulfill it or die trying. If only to save mother. You rotted away, and I was given this task to pardon you for your mistake. And I took it, only so I could finally make you proud. And I failed. And because I failed I was sent into hiding and I was caught and now I waste away as you once did. Alone, and lifeless, you may have been proud, but I am weak, and Malfoy's aren't supposed to be weak.
Yet weak I was and am and weak you once were though you hid it so wonderfully. I never realized, until now that you were so undeniably weak. I'm tortured by my own mind, forced by myself to relive the moments in my life with you. I was so proud of you. I looked up to you because you obtained anything and everything you wanted. And I believe it was this admiration, this wanting to be just like you that brought my downfall. I just wanted you to be proud, and if I was just like you then you were surely be proud of me. But you were weak and you knew it, so if I were to be just like you I would be weak too. You hid behind your money, and your name. You had an unsustainable greed. Greed is a weakness, easily manipulated, and you hid because you are a bloody coward. The same damn coward that I was, is and always will be.
And I see, this path I chose, I chose only to make you proud. And I understand now that was my greatest sin. Not joining a force and fighting for what I believed wrong. And not killing innocents because of there blood. My greatest sin was trying to hard to make a man proud of me. A man, no longer a father in my eyes. Because a father loves his son for his faults. But Malfoy's don't have faults. Oh no. Malfoy's don't have faults because they do not love. So I pretended to be someone I so clearly wasn't. I tried to be a Malfoy and clearly I do not belong because I loved a man like a father, who would never care, and never love me back. He would never be proud of me.
So I chose this path, if only to make you proud. And now I waste away.
12/15: Just a few changes to grammer, wording and spelling. Nothing to significant. Less "if onlys" so if those drove you crazy you should be glad to know they are gone.
-Frozen-Passion-
