For a moment, I think I'll hate you

By Leah Day

Summary

She hadn't finished loving him.

Set the evening of Patrick's death. Needing some alone time, Nina feels numb, aggrieved and betrayed.

Disclaimer

Rated PG for tragedy and a little bit of coarse language. Written in Australian and British English. I do not own offspring. I do own my imagination.

First offspring fic. The next may be a bit fluffy, depends on my muse.

Patrick and Nina's sublet, the lounge room.

Everything is quiet. So quiet. Odd. Where's the stomp and clomp of runners? Where's the "hi" Where's the … Whoops. Forgetful Nina.

He's dead. He left her. She touched her abdomen. He left them.

'Alone,'

Not entirely alone. Her family were probably parked outside, waiting with baited breath for a scream or something that would indicate she needed them to come inside. On the contrary, she just wanted to be alone. Alone with the numbness she was getting pretty well acquainted with, numbness which was her body's way of protecting it's self.

A sob rose from within, crawling up from her gullet into her mouth. Grimacing, she sat on the couch, fighting to keep it in rather then let it out.

'Can't cry now,' she thought. 'No time, no time,'

There hadn't been time to bawl her eyes out at the hospital, there was certainly no time now. Not when there was so much to do.

Relentlessly, plump tears seeped down her cheeks; she could taste the salt as some of the drops ended up in her mouth. Her eyes flitted, landing randomly on a picture of her and Patrick hugging each other, grinning, deliriously happy.

'We ran out of time … '

"I hadn't finished," she whispered, staring at the picture. "I hadn't finished loving you,"

The man who was supposed to be her soul mate was gone. Torn away from her side.

Unfair.

So fucking unfair!

Shock swiftly turned into grief and Grief swelled into anger.

He left her. He left them. Just when they finally had it sorted he had to go. He had to die.

For a moment she hated him. For a mere fragment of a second she deeply and passionately hated him. Just for the tiniest amount of time she was blaming him for his own demise.

Selfish son of a-

Buzz!

Shaking, she licked her lips and brushed away the tears.

Buzz!

Unfurling herself from the couch, Nina took a deep breath rose and wandered over to the door. As she let her mother and biological father in, the hatred melted away and the numbness returned.

'I'll cry later,'

In a corner of the lounge, Patrick's ghost bowed it's head and grieved for all three of them.

The end

Author's note

I really love tragedy and I wanted to write a wee ficlet about how Nina felt on her first night without Patrick. I think it's important to show different stages. I'm almost certain that she would have been angry, briefly, with Patrick for dying so close to Zoe's birth.

This pairing has always fascinated me, so I will, if time allows,' write more fics about them. Some of them may be happy ones others may not.

Happy reading.

Leah.