Mah parody! I hope you enjoy it! No spellchecker, no punctuation, and stupid annoying Mary-Sues and plot-holes! Please tell me what you think!

Disclaimer: JK isn't me. Though she DOES live down the end of my granny's street, yaaay!

I know it may be annoying to read, so fill in punctuation in your head. All the mistakes are actual typing mistakes I made from typing too fast/mistakes others write and have been left in deliberately. Have fuuun!

Set ­after HBP coz there are waaay more plot-holes then.

R/R

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The Redundancy of Spellcheckers AKA Why Harry Potter Characters Don't Deserve Capital Letters AKA What Do You Mean You're Running Out Of Breath?

omg hogwarts was so big they decided as they looked up from the boats going in to the bay there was two of them they were really pretty and they looked great they were called charisma and apple thomas and they were twins they were new at hogwarts and everyone was going to fall for them this year

they were both blonde with tiny hips and bright blue eys that shoen like styars they had hair so long it reached there hips and it was trightly curly and gorgeous ot look at not unlike theri boobs which where huge and ni ce to look at at and all the boys wanted them except fro the oens who didnt like them even the ones with girlfriends wanted them coz they were just that appealing and so nice

they walked therouhg the doors of hogwarts when they gfot there to be sorted coz they needed to be

"omg this hall is like so large and like pretty" said charisma loudly with her cute voice

"omg i like totally agree with you" her sister apple agreed

"its so pretty we have to like tell everyone we know"

"omg yeah your right now who should we send a postcared to first"

harry and ron at the gryffindor table were so in love with the girls along with all the boys in the school that they prayed the girls would be in gryffindor and who was the hat to disappoint for one of them got into gryffindor and the other into slytherin coz like all the cool people get intot thos e tow houses

"omg im gunna be away ferom you" sobbed apple at trhe slutherin table

"omg i know i cant be away from you fr even a minute" cried charisma at the gruygffindor table coz like theyu cou,d here each other at the tables they were at

"what are we goig to do" crued her sister

"were gonna have to date harry and malfoy and make them jealous and have a love affair" called charrie

"yeh coz boys together are like so cool"

"i know just as sexty as two girls"

"your so right omg sis"

harry was so exctied he went over to talk to them "hi im harry potter im lieke so famous i have a scar and scary shit"

"dudes your like so hawt i wanna date you do you wanna datew me"

"omg yeah of course i do your like so hawt to"

over at the sltjerin table a simlar conversation was going on

"omg i wanna date you you look so gorgeous your so hawt i feel my heart burn" malfoy told apple

"omg i love you you have to like come onto me like now"

"omg ok"

dumbledore got up and started doing the chicken dance coz that was like cool and dumbledores a hippy

snape glared at dumbledore and told him that he had to go and shove his head in something cold but lupin told him to wash his hair coz hes a slimy git and even then quirrel thought they were lame saddass boys who hads to lieke go and drown in there love for the evil he who must not be named coz thst is like cool

malfoy feel down a hole coz nobody liked him so he got shot but he stayed alive and fell down further and came out at dumbledores feet coz dumbledore is secretly a malfoy family suppoorter but like noone nows that so like cdont tell anyone even tho hes dead

everyoen went up to there common room wicth was lik one bigg room and had a big party coz it was cool and they all danced with eachother and charisma and apple had dancing competitions and danced with 26.9 guys each but like the .9 guy died so that was like really 29 guys even though they couldnt have ahd like enought time to dance with all ofd them coz thats just stupid

then like volcemort came therough into the party and it truned out that like he was coming to take away his mary sues coz noboyd likes them or this righter for manglying whot could be a good story so he took away everyone and killed harry but harry killed him coz hes cool and in the ewnd like hermione diwed of a heart att\akc and ron had babies with malfoy and harry had the affair with malfoy anmd had a girl baby called charmaine who was like so cute and sirius had babies with tonks his cousin form behnid the veil thing and like lupin had babies with liek sprout coz shes a woman and mcgonagal had babies with dumbeldoor coz they so obviously like eachother and like they all went to hogwarts in 3 years and ruled the school and died within there first hour coz of poisoning

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Okay, it was quite stupid but I got bored quickly... not my fault. It was gonna go a different way but anyway...

x Cazzy x