Disclaimer: These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.
Author's Note: This is the first part of a three part Christmas story. It really bugged me that we didn't get to see the holidays. The other two chapters are mostly written, so hopefully updates will come soon. This is from Rory's point of view.
RORY
"I'm so glad you're coming to hang out with me this weekend. We haven't seen each other enough lately. What should we do tonight?" Lorelai asked Rory as they drove together to their Friday night dinner in Hartford. Rory smiled to herself. She had missed her mother. Their typical uncanny connection seemed weaker somehow. There was a distance between them, not because of any disagreement or fight, but just the distance that comes from separation. They had lost their summer, usually a time when their bond strengthened and any frayed ends were repaired. It made the minor bumps in their relationship that much more noticeable. And then there was Luke.
"Do you have plans with Luke?" Rory asked, hoping the answer was no. She was really looking forward to hanging out with her mom. They hadn't done the whole movie night thing in a while and with all the craziness around breaking up with Dean and wondering what was going on with Logan, Rory was ready for some girl time.
"Not specific plans. I told him I would stop by after dinner. Hey, why don't we get a movie and I'll ask him if he wants to join us?"
"I don't want to get in the way of your evening. I know you weren't planning on me being here," Rory said, hoping she was sufficiently covering up her reluctance to have Luke join them. She was a little surprised by how disappointed she was, but decided it must just be her desire to have her mom to herself. She'd feel better after they had a chance to hang out this weekend.
"That's funny. He would say that he doesn't want to intrude on our plans. I can probably talk him into it, though."
Rory tried to sound enthusiastic as she answered, "Sure why don't you ask him."
In the car on the way home Rory struggled to understand what she was feeling about her mom and Luke. She knew that they were happy together and she honestly wanted to be happy and excited for them. Where was this coming from? When had this started?
She thought back to the day that she had returned from Europe, the day that Luke had returned from Maine. The look on her mother's face when Luke came to take their order was priceless. It was clear that something was going on between them, especially when they both suddenly created errands they needed to run.
On the way home from the diner, Rory pounced. "Okay spill."
"What?" Lorelai asked innocently.
"Where did you and Luke meet while you were doing your pretend errands?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh, come on. Jess and I perfected the fake errands thing. I can tell a meet up when I see one. What's going on? I mean, he's been gone as long as I have, so I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but something is definitely going on with you two." Rory continued to tease her mother, but was feeling a little hurt not to have known what was going on.
"Well, okay you are right. I guess we are dating, although without the actual dating part."
"Explain please."
"Well, you knew about his sister's wedding and the movie invite -"
"Oh, did you go to the movie?" Rory asked excitedly.
"No, he had to go to Maine before that, so we haven't been on that date yet."
"But that was supposed to be the night that I left."
"Yeah."
"So, how did you get from 'I might be dating Luke' to secret trysts, when he's been gone as long as I have?"
"We kissed."
"During the tryst?"
"There was no tryst. He just wanted to say hello without an audience. And he gave me this necklace," she said, pulling the necklace out of her pocket and holding it so Rory could see."
"That's beautiful," Rory said, impressed by Luke's taste. "But what about the kiss? When did you kiss him?"
Lorelai said reluctantly, "The night of the test run. Kirk interrupted us with his streaking."
"Oh." Rory paused, thinking about what else had been interrupted that night.
"Rory! Oh, my God. You're missing everything. Grab those CDs and head back to the inn before you miss the cross-dressing midgets. That's where the night is headed. Oh! Things are happening - big things, wow things. I have so much to tell you. Let me just open with this little tidbit - Kirk running naked through the square. Of course, with all my careful planning and preparation, I forgot to bring Band-aids and a camera. I have got to learn that, always, without fail, Kirk equals camera. Hey, what's going on?"
A sudden realization struck Rory as she remembered her mother's random babble as she ran into the house just before she saw Rory with Dean. In all of the drama of that moment, Rory had not registered everything her mother had said, and had not thought to question her mother's excitement about a naked Kirk. She had come to share the news about kissing Luke, until events spun out of control even further. Her momentary relief that her mom had wanted to tell her was quickly overcome by the knowledge that this had all happened seven weeks ago and she had not known about it until this moment. She had gone off to Europe in the middle of a fight and her mother had started a relationship without telling her. She wanted to be angry about being left out, but all the anger and frustration came right back to herself.
"I'm sorry. That's why I didn't tell you. I wanted to, but then we were fighting and you went to Europe and Luke went to Maine. End of story."
"So you haven't seen Luke since the kiss?" Rory asked in disbelief.
"Well just in the inn the next morning."
"And then he just left? He kissed you and left for seven weeks?"
"He left me several very sweet messages on the machine trying to explain the situation and to leave me his cell phone number." Lorelai smiled at the memory and then went on, "He called me every couple of days, probably to make sure I didn't forget him."
"Wow, Luke with a cell phone. Who would have thought?" Rory's head was spinning. While she and her mother were having the longest fight of their life, Lorelai had been talking regularly to her new 'boyfriend,' who was also one of her oldest friends. She felt a pang of jealousy wash over her as she thought about the summer she had missed with her Mom. Just as quickly she felt a strong guilt about being jealous of her the relationship. She had no one to blame for shutting her mom out but herself.
When they got home, Rory and Lorelai made up for lost time with snacks and videos, sharing stories while Lorelai tried to offer comfort. It felt like old times, but not quite.
Hey, do you think Annie the Grog Girl made a pass at Luke? I'm sure he rebuffed her, but he was there a long time. I hope not. I'd joust the little slut.
There were just enough comments like those to remind Rory that her mom had something (actually someone) else on her mind. She was trying to be there for Rory and they were having a good time catching up, but it didn't feel as if it were just the two of them anymore. After one movie, Rory yawned, blaming the jet lag.
"I think I just want to go to bed. I'm really tired and we'll have all day tomorrow to hang out, right?"
"Of course we will. Are you sure you can't stay up for one more movie?"
"No, I really am beat."
"Well if you are sure…I think that I might go stop by the diner," Lorelai said, suddenly looking shy and nervously excited.
"Yeah, go give him a welcome home kiss," Rory said, trying not to be disappointed that her mom didn't try harder to convince her. A few minutes later, she heard the front door shut and realized how lonely she was.
Rory's reverie was interrupted when Lorelai asked, "Rory, are you okay? You've been really quiet since we left Hartford."
"No, it's nothing. I'm just tired."
"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about inviting Luke to Christmas dinner with my parents. Should I have checked with you?"
"It's okay mom," Rory said quietly, but she knew she was lying. She couldn't figure out if she was really upset about Luke coming to Christmas dinner, or if it was just that her mom had not asked her. She had obviously had more than one conversation with Emily about it, but hadn't mentioned it at all. That was probably it, she didn't like being out of the loop. A part of her, though, realizes it is something more. There has never been a guy that Lorelai wanted to invite to Christmas dinner. It felt threatening somehow, to have someone else suddenly so important in her mom's life. They've always been the most important people in each other's lives, until Luke. She knows this relationship is different for Lorelai. She knew it would be different from the moment it began.
"Okay, whoa, this is Luke."
"I know."
"Our Luke - the town Luke. We see him every day. He's a part of our lives."
"I know."
" I mean, everyone will know. They'll know if you're together, they'll know if you're not together."
"I know."
"
"You can't just date Luke. When you're with Luke, you are with Luke. And if it doesn't work out, it will be really bad for both of us. I mean, how do you feel about this? Do you want to be dating Luke?"
It had been different, and even though she had thought about Lorelai and Luke together before, she wasn't prepared for it when it actually happened. It was easy to see how happy they made each other, but that wasn't so surprising. What was surprising was how comfortable they were in their relationship. Lorelai was known for getting flighty and freaked out before a relationship could get even get going. Part of Rory had been dreading that ever since Luke and Lorelai's first date. This was different, though. Her mother was not just smitten and giddy and happy, but she was also content. And even though Luke wasn't big on public displays of affection, Rory could see the way that they looked at each other. When Luke and her mom were together it was like they didn't notice the rest of the world.
Rory thought that maybe the reason she hung onto Dean for as long as she did was because she wanted what her mom had with Luke. She saw that comfort, safety and companionship and was envious. Rory thought she had that with Dean, but there were always ghosts around when they were together. Long ago jealousies and more recent guilt battled silently over their heads whenever they were together and no matter how much she tried, they wouldn't go away. She tried to turn Dean into her own Luke, but he wasn't and would never be. It just took her a while to realize that she wasn't in love with Dean anymore. He didn't make her heart flutter or make the world fall away anymore. Not the way it did when Luke looked at her mom. She didn't love Dean the way that she knew Lorelai loved Luke. She smiled at that. Her mom loved Luke. She wasn't quite sure how she knew, but she was certain about it and just as certain that her mom had not told him. Rory wondered briefly how Luke and Lorelai had been able to get past their own ghosts, or if those ghosts were still there.
Lorelai did in fact convince Luke to join them for a movie. Rory busied herself by gathering snacks and drinks and tried to get herself excited about the night. She considered pretending to be tired and go to bed early, but Lorelai seemed excited to have the two of them together. She had mentioned it a few times in the car on the way home. When the she heard the knock at the door, Rory let her mom answer it and turned her head while Lorelai greeted Luke with an affectionate kiss. Rory hoped she didn't look as uncomfortable as she felt. As she watched Luke, she could see that he was tense, especially when Lorelai was close to him. It was halfway through the movie before he relaxed and let Lorelai snuggle up next to him. She seemed thrilled to have her two favorite people together with her. Rory couldn't remember a time when her mother looked so purely content. It struck her again how happy she was.
When the movie was over, Luke stood up and said, "I assume I'll see you two tomorrow for breakfast?"
Lorelai seemed sad that he was leaving, but glanced at Rory and said, "Okay, but you better not leave without a real goodbye." She smiled and gave him a wink.
He blushed and looked at the floor, and Rory said, "Luke, you don't have to go on my account. You can stay here you know. It won't bother me." Except that it might.
"I'm not – I shouldn't – The diner – early tomorrow anyway. But thank you for the offer. I should go."
Ok, good night," said Rory as she walked toward her room, shutting the door when she got inside."
Rory had heard the front door close and her mother's footsteps. "So, couldn't convince him to stay?" she asked as Lorelai sighed and walked into the kitchen to get a drink of water.
"No," Lorelai said sadly. "But I tried," she continued with a smirk.
"I'm sure you did, but I don't want to know the details. It's because of me, right? He stays here when I am not around."
"Yeah, he does. I mean, he doesn't have a key or anything, but he does stay. Tonight he just kept saying that he doesn't want to intrude."
"It's not an intrusion. You know, you could give him a key if you wanted. That wouldn't bother me. I like seeing you together. He makes you so happy."
"Yeah, he does," she said, not able to hide a grin.
"Mom, do you think that he thinks I don't want you two together? He doesn't quite seem comfortable with me."
"I don't know, hon. How do you feel, honestly?"
"I love Luke and I love you and I have never seen the two of you so happy. I'll admit that I was angry at him after the double date with Dean, but that's in the past. I like that you are together. Maybe I just need to tell him that."
"Are you okay with him coming with us on Christmas? I'm sorry I didn't run that by you. I should have. It's always just been us on Christmas."
"It's fine," she started, then saw Lorelai looking at her skeptically. "Okay, maybe I was just a little annoyed that you didn't tell me you were thinking about it. I mean you don't need my permission. I just would have liked to be in on the convincing of Grandma."
"So it did bother you?"
"Well, no. . . Well, maybe. . ."
"Rory, you need to tell me if there is something bothering you about me and Luke."
"There isn't, really. I just think I miss spending time with you, but I worry about intruding on your time."
"God, Rory, I had no idea. I shouldn't have invited him tonight. We should have just hung out."
"But you were really happy tonight. I don't want you to feel like you are giving something up to spend time with me."
"I'm not. Besides if you or Luke is uncomfortable, I don't want to push it. Let's just get used to this gradually. And I am sorry about the Christmas invite. I should have asked you. I do want to make sure that it is okay with you. If it is not, he doesn't have to come. Christmas has been one of our things. He wasn't even sure he wanted to come."
Rory was struck by the concern on her mom's face, but knew she would not be able to forgive herself if Luke was alone on Christmas because of her. "No, mom, you can't un-invite him. He'd be all alone."
"Who knows, he night prefer that to the Gilmore house of hell," Lorelai with a smirk.
"No way," Rory answered and without thoroughly thinking through how she felt about it she added, "It's okay, really mom, and I have another idea. Why don't we invite him for Christmas Eve and have him stay over and open presents with us in the morning?"
"Really?" Lorelai said, trying to cover a surprised, happy look with a show of concern for her daughter. "That would be great, but are you sure?" When Rory nodded, Lorelai smiled, but then her look saddened, "but I don't think he will agree."
"Let me work on him. I'll ask him tomorrow at breakfast."
By the time Lorelai and Rory got to the diner the next morning, the breakfast rush had died down and Luke was doing the never-ending wiping of the counters. He smiled as they walked in, picked up two mugs and filled them with coffee. He smiled warmly at Lorelai as he handed her the coffee, but he didn't kiss her. Rory wanted to kick herself for feeling relieved. After taking their orders, he returned to the counter, restocking things that had been depleted during the rush. Rory knew this was her best opportunity for asking Luke about Christmas. "Hey Mom, I'm going to go talk to Luke about Christmas. Wish me luck."
Lorelai smiled and gave her a thumbs-up as she walked toward the counter. "Hey Luke, Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure, what's up?"
"Thanks for coming last night. I think it meant a lot to Mom."
"It was fun."
"Really? You didn't seem totally comfortable. Was it because of me?"
"I feel like I should be asking you the same question."
"What? Why?"
"You just looked like you would have rather it been just the two of you. I shouldn't have let your mom talk me into it."
Rory was shocked that she had been so transparent and tried to cover it up with an emphatic denial, "Is that what you think? That I don't want you around? Luke, I love that you guys are together. You make her so happy. Do you think I don't want that?"
Of course you want her to be happy. So do I, but it's okay to admit it if you are a little jealous." Luke said this last part quietly and gently, looking over to where Lorelai was now deep in conversation on her cell phone.
"What? I am not," she replied a bit angrily, even as she realized he was exactly right.
"I think you might be," he looked up at her, "and so am I."
"What?"
"Rory, you and your mother are closer than any two people I know. She doesn't want you to know how much she misses you because she doesn't want you to regret being away at school, but she misses you and needs you as much as she always has. Sometimes I watch you guys together and you have such a strong connection that it seems like you are oblivious to the rest of the world. So yeah, I'm a little jealous sometimes."
"Really? Cause you know, that oblivious thing, you and Mom do that too."
"Yeah?"
"Oh yeah, and not just since you've been dating."
"Is that what bothers you?"
"It bothers me less knowing you feel the same way." She looked up suddenly realizing what she had said. "Is that mean?"
"No, just honest. Hey Rory, I'm uh… I really like your mom and I want to be with her, but the last thing that I would ever do is come between you two."
Rory could feel tears, but held them back. She couldn't believe what Luke had almost just said. The strange thing was, it wasn't quite so threatening anymore. She suddenly let out a small giggle.
"What?"
"We are quite a pair, aren't we?" He nodded and gave her a rare smile. It wasn't quite like the ones he reserved for Lorelai, but it was close. Rory looked at him and said, "You know, she needs you too. She's never let anyone else get so close and I want that for her. I really do."
"I believe you."
"I don't want to come between you or make you think that I don't want you together."
"I don't think that."
"Wow, I feel like we just made up from some big fight that neither one of us knew we were having."
"I know what you mean. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Actually no, I wanted to ask you to spend Christmas with us. I think Mom already talked to you about dinner at my grandparents house but I was wondering if you would come over on Christmas Eve and stay over so you could open presents with us in the morning?"
"But you and your mom have really set traditions around Christmas. I don't want to get in the way of those, especially after what we were just talking about."
"But Luke, this is her favorite holiday and she really wants to spend it with both of us."
"Well I guess I could come over on Christmas morning and make you guys breakfast."
"Then you'll miss all the Christmas Eve festivities and you have to stay the night. You haven't seen anything until you have seen my mom waking up on Christmas."
"But those are your festivities."
"I want to share them with you."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yes," she answered, more sure now than she had been when she first approached him.
"Okay, but I'm not going to come over until late on Christmas Eve so that you and your mom can have the whole day to yourselves."
"How about 10:00? We'll be on to our last movie by then. You have to as least watch one Christmas movie with us."
"That sounds good."
"Then after the dinner you can have my mom all to yourself. I am going to hang out with Paris, who decided to stay home instead of hanging out with one or the other of her crazy parents."
"You don't have to do that."
"I know, but Paris will appreciate it, even if she won't admit it."
"That isn't what I meant."
"I know. Hey Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for agreeing to come. She is going to love having you there."
"It will be nice to be there. Thank you for inviting me. It means a lot that the invitation came from you."
Rory smiled at him as she returned to the table.
"Wow, that was a long conversation. Everything okay?"
"Yeah, I feel better now and…"
"Did you get a chance to ask him about Christmas?" Lorelai asked eagerly.
"Well if you give me a chance to finish the sentence. He drove a hard bargain and it took some negotiating to get him to agree to stay overnight, but he said he would come over around 10:00 on Christmas Eve and stay over so he could be there in the morning. He said he would only do it if you and I could have Christmas Eve day all to ourselves."
"That sounds perfect. So let's start planning our day!" Rory just smiled as she watched her mom launch into her Christmas excitement. She had just thought of the perfect gift for Luke.
Christmas Eve was a crazy Gilmore day of eating, movies, wrapping presents and even decorating cookies at Sookie's house. They were almost at the end of "It's a Wonderful Life" when there was a knock at the door.
"Come on in," yelled Lorelai. "We've eaten too much to move."
Luke came in and walked over to the back of the couch behind Lorelai. She turned and pulled him down for a quick kiss, while Rory made a point of not looking away. "What are you watching?"
"You mean you can't tell?" asked Rory, with surprise. This is the classic Christmas tale, "It's a Wonderful Life, but it's almost over."
"What's next?"
"Miracle on 34th Street. Here, you can have my seat," she offered, starting to get up off the couch.
"No, don't get up. I'll sit here," he said as he placed a pillow on the floor in front of Lorelai and sat down, leaning his head against her knee, as she put her hand on his shoulder.
Lorelai then reached for Rory and wrapped her arm around her shoulders saying, "Okay, now that everyone is comfortable, who is going to change the movie?"
"Hey hon, are you awake?"
"Mom, what are you doing here? What time is it?"
"It's time to open presents. It's Christmas morning, you know." There was such excitement in her voice, Rory couldn't help but giggle, until she looked at the clock.
"Mom, it's 5:30 in the morning. You are worse than a five year old. How is it possible that on any other day, you are useless before 7:30, but on Christmas you have some sort of crazy kid alarm clock."
"I guess that is just the wonder of me."
"Or the craziness." Rory paused for a minute and then said, "Did you torment Luke at this obscene hour too?"
"Well, he is pretty out and he doesn't get to sleep in very often, so I spared him for a little longer. Besides, I wanted some Christmas morning time with you."
"Fine, but can you let me get some more sleep?"
"Well, okay," Lorelai said reluctantly as she tried to go back to sleep. After a few minutes she said, "So Rory, I was thinking that we could make breakfast to surprise Luke."
"Well, that would surprise Luke."
"So what do you think that we could make?"
"I don't know. Can we think about it later?"
"Okay." Then a few minutes later, "Do you think he would notice if we served him frozen waffles?"
"Mom, is there any chance that you are going back to sleep?"
"Not really, you know it's Christmas, right?"
"I don't think it counts as Christmas if it's still dark."
"Well, I can go back to my bed if you want."
"No, that's fine. I like that you are here. It's just that sometimes you choose the oddest times for mother-daughter bonding."
Lorelai gave Rory a hug and said, "Thanks so much for asking Luke to come. I know it's a little weird, but it means a lot to me that he will be here with us."
"I just think that it's weird that you are here with me instead of in bed with him. This isn't a bad sign is it?
"What do you mean?"
"You remember Max, right?"
"Oh Rory, this is nothing like that. I just wanted to keep up our Christmas tradition."
"Well, you have sufficiently woken me up. Let's just get up and try to make some breakfast."
"Are you sure?"
"You are not going back to sleep, right?"
"No."
"Then let's get up."
They headed into the kitchen to take inventory of the supplies available. Rory was surprised at the selection of food. "What's all this stuff?"
"Luke has been here more often and he likes food that you have to put together and cook."
"Hmm."
"What should we make?"
"Do we know how to make anything?"
Not really. I guess we're back to frozen waffles." Lorelai reached into the freezer to get the frozen waffles and noticed some sausage links. "Oh, these would be good. How do we make these?"
"Well, I think we could fry them in a pan, but do you think they need to be thawed out first?"
Lorelai set down the waffles on the table and looked closer at the sausages to see if there were instructions. "I have no idea. We could just put them in the pan and see what happens."
"Alright, both of you out of the kitchen." Rory and Lorelai both looked up at the sound of Luke's voice.
"Oh, I was trying to let you sleep and we were going to make you breakfast."
"That must have been that sense of danger that I felt." He walked over and picked up the frozen waffle box. "This was going to be our Christmas morning breakfast?"
"Well, we were trying to figure out how to cook the sausages," Rory added with a small smile.
"I caught enough of that conversation to be frightened. I was planning to make breakfast. Wasn't that why I was invited?" he joked.
"Of course not, at least not the whole reason," said Lorelai with a smile. "So was there a plan?"
"Well, I know how you are all about the presents and I thought you wouldn't want to wait to open them…"
"God, you know me so well."
"So I thought that I could whip up a soufflé and put it in the oven. It needs to bake for an hour, so we could open presents while it's cooking."
"That's a great idea," Rory said as she grabbed the waffles and sausage to put them back in the freezer."
"Keep those out," Luke pointed at the sausages. "I'll show you how to cook them," he said with a wink.
"Wait, how come you'll teach her to cook, but not me?"
"Uh Luke, don't answer that," Rory said quickly.
"Don't worry, I wasn't planning to." He grinned and she realized that she was actually enjoying this.
After the soufflé was in the oven, they headed into the living room to open the presents. Rory noticed that Luke held back and waited patiently while she and her mom exchanged their gifts. He seemed amused just watching them squeal and giggle. When they were finished, Lorelai and Rory gave Luke a few small gifts, and then Luke and Lorelai exchanged their gifts. Rory watched them looking at each other so intensely and she started to feel like she was invading an intimate moment. Luke then shook himself out of his trance and reached over and handed Rory a box.
"Here, this is for you," he said shyly.
She took the box saying, "Luke, you didn't have to get me anything."
"I wanted to," he said simply.
She opened it carefully as Lorelai interrupted, "Come on Rory, it's just wrapping paper, rip it!"
Rory laughed as she glanced at her mom and then Luke. Luke was smiling softly, but there was some nervousness hidden there too. She tore off the paper and opened the small box. Inside was a silver bracelet with delicate beads. She looked up at him. "It's beautiful. Thank you."
"It's one that my sister made. I saw it and thought it looked like you."
"You were right. I love it. Hey, I have one more thing for you."
"What? You guys already did enough."
"It's not a big deal, just something small. Here," she said as she handed him a small box.
He looked over at her curiously as he carefully unwrapped it. Lorelai looked surprised as well. She hadn't known about this gift. He opened the box to reveal a keychain with a baseball cap and a single key. "What's this?" he asked, honestly confused as Lorelai suddenly gasped.
"Oh my god, Rory, you didn't!"
Seeing the confused look on Luke's face, Rory said softly, "It's a key to the house so that you would know that you are always welcome, anytime."
He looked shocked, and then picked it up, noticing a note underneath. As he read it, Rory could see his face soften and then he said, "Thank you, this means a lot."
"Good, I'm glad." Rory thought she could see Luke blinking back tears as he showed the note to her mother and she ran the words through her mind one more time.
Dear Luke,
Thank you for helping to make my mother happier than she has ever been.
I love you,
Rory
