Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.
Chapter 1
~Leopardstar
A spotted golden tabby she-cat flashed out a paw into the river and scooped out a fish, quickly killing it with a bite to its spine.
"Good catch, Leopardstar!" a blue-gray she-cat complimented her leader.
"Thank you, Mistyfoot," Leopardstar replied. "Let's get back to camp. I think we've caught enough."
The two she-cats padded back to the RiverClan camp, their jaws full of fish they'd caught earlier.
"About time," an elder remarked as he saw them with the fresh-kill. "We've needed fresh-kill for ages."
"Brightpaw!" Leopardstar called to the golden apprentice. "Bring the elders fresh-kill, then you can hunt for yourself."
"Great! Thanks, Leopardstar!" the apprentice called.
"I think it's about time for her warrior ceremony, don't you think?" the blue-gray she-cat asked Leopardstar.
"Perhaps it is. She's worked hard. I'll speak with her mentor about that," Leopardstar answered. After a pause, she added, "Mistyfoot, do you think I've been a good mother to her?"
Mistyfoot looked shocked at the question. "Of course you have! What would make you think you haven't?"
"It's just... I think maybe I haven't been as caring or attentive as I should have been," Leopardstar replied.
"What would make you think that? Of course you've been caring! You've been there for her for her whole life. You didn't neglect her and were always a supporter of her. And you can't spend all your time with her, for her sake and your own," Mistyfoot mewed.
"I feel like she's grown up without me being there, now that I'm looking back at her kithood and apprenticeship."
"She's got to grow up sometime, Leopardstar. She has to have her own sense of independence. She'll always love you and need you, but she needs to be able to fend for herself, fight her own battles. She can't have everything done for her."
"I know, but I've been too focused on getting back to being deputy, and then I wasn't there for her when her father died, and I tried too hard not to show favouritism that I've pushed her out and forced her to grow up without my guidance or support."
"Why all the insecurity, Leopardstar? What's making you think that you've been a bad mother?"
"Just watching her. It's like she doesn't need me. She's just like all the other apprentices in the way she acts towards me."
"She loves you and she's shown it many, many times, Leopardstar. Don't doubt that. And you don't go running up to her, gushing all the time either. Most parents don't. That doesn't mean they're bad parents or they don't care. Brightpaw knows that you love her, and she loves you too. Trust me."
"I just haven't been the best parent. There are parents who spend as much time as they can with their kits and still manage to balance out time for everything and everyone."
"Stop doubting yourself, Leopardstar. If I went up to Brightpaw and asked her if you were a bad mother to her, would she say that you were?"
"I hope not."
"She wouldn't say that- and would probably wonder what made me ask such a question! You've been a brilliant mother, Leopardstar, and will continue to be! Never think anything else."
"What's all this about?" the golden tabby apprentice called to her mother.
"Nothing important," Leopardstar said, looking at her paws.
"Your mother has convinced herself that she's been a neglecive, uncaring, and unsupportive parent," Mistyfoot told Brightpaw.
"What?! Leopardstar, you've been the best mother I could ask for! You've always been here with your love for me as I have been for you! I don't know what made you think that, but let me tell you, you're an amazing mother and I wouldn't want any other cat," Brightpaw reassured her mother.
"Thank you, Brightpaw. I just feel like I've been too obsessed with not showing favouritism that I abandoned my duties as a mother and left you to grow up on your own," Leopardstar replied. "It's time for you to be getting to sleep. I'll talk to your mentor about your warrior ceremoy."
"Really? Thank you!" Brightpaw exclaimed joyfully. She stood up and licked her mother's ear, then bounded into the apprentices' den.
"See? You've been good to her," Mistyfoot told Leopardstar. Mistyfoot got up and padded to the warriors' den, leaving Leopardstar alone. Even though she'd been told otherwise, Leopardstar couldn't help but continue to doubt herself as she headed to her own den.
'Listen to them. They're right and you know it,' a small voice in her head told her.
As she settled down for the night, the RiverClan leader felt reassured by her daughter's words, yet still not completely sure if she believed them.
•••
The next day, Leopardstar and Brightpaw's mentor agreed that Brightpaw deserved her warrior name.
"Brightpaw! Go hunt for the elders. We'll hold your warrior ceremony at sunset," the leader told her daughter. Brightpaw scampered off, her eyes shining with excitement.
'At least she's happy,' Leopardstar thought. 'Better than I can say for myself.' Leopardstar settled down to groom herself outside of her den, trying to remember the last time she was really and truly happy.
'StarClan, I can't even think of when I was last happy!' she thought to herself miserably. 'I don't think I've been joyful since Whiteclaw died.'
She remebered with a stabbing ache in her heart her mate, Whiteclaw, who had fallen into the gorge. Even though she knew deep down that it had been an accident, and that Graystripe hadn't meant for Whiteclaw to die, she still blamed him for her mate's death. Leopardstar, Leopardfur then, had been utterly devastated at his death. She recalled how excited she was that she'd found out that morning that she was expecting his kits and her joy and excitement that she was going to tell him that very evening. All of her dreams for a life together had been crushed.
Leopardstar didn't notice the tears in her eyes or that her shoulder were shaking from quietly sobbing at the painful memory until Mistyfoot came up to her and asked, "What's wrong, Leopardstar?"
"Nothing," Leopardstar mumbled in response, staring at her paws.
"Have you seen yourself? You have half the Clan worried about you!" Mistyfoot said gently.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry anyone. I was just remembering... remembering Whiteclaw," the leader replied, another sob shaking her body though she tried to stiffle it.
"Oh, I understand. He loves you, you know. He's always with you and watching over you," Mistyfoot reassured her best friend.
"I know," Leopardstar whispered. "I just wish he was here with me."
"He always is. Don't ever think he'd abandon you," Mistyfoot replied.
Just then, Brightpaw returned to the camp, and Leopardstar composed herself so she didn't appear a horrid mess in front of her daughter.
She called out "Let all cats old enough to swim gather for a Clan meeting!" Cats began to drift out of dens while others were returning to camp.
"Cats of RiverClan," the leader called. "Today a great day for our Clan. Two of our apprenticed are ready to recieve their warrior names. Brightpaw, Minnowpaw, come forward." Brightpaw and her best friend stepped forward. Leopardstar couldn't help but notice that even since they were kits, Brightpaw had been calm while her friend had been energetic.
"I, Leopardstar, leader of RiverClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these apprentices. They have trained hard to learn the ways of your noble code, and I present them to you as warriors in their turns," Leopardstar called. She looked at Minnopaw first.
"Minnowpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your life?" Leopardstar asked according to the traditional ritual words.
"I do," the silver appentice said, almost bursting with excitement.
"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. From this moment on, you shall be known as Minnowshade. StarClan honors your bravery and your enthusiasm and we welcome you as a full member of RiverClan."
Leopardstar rested her muzzle on Minnowshade's head and Minnowshade respectfully licked her shoulder.
"Brightpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect this Clan, even at the cost of your life?" Leopardstar asked her daughter.
"I do," Brightpaw confirmed.
"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. From this moment on, you shall be known as Brightspots. StarClan honors your strength and intelligence and we welcome you as a full member of RiverClan."
Leopardstar rested her muzzle on her daughter's head and Brightspots returned it with a shoulder lick.
"Minnowshade! Brightspots! Minnowshade! Brightspots!" The Clan called out in welcome to their newest warriors.
"I'm so proud of you," Leopardstar purred at Brightspots. "You've become a great warrior and I'm glad to have you as my daughter."
"I'm glad to be a part of this Clan. You've been a wonderful mother," Brightspots purred in response.
"Remember you have to sit vigil tonight," Leopardstar reminded her.
"I know. And thank you," she replied.
"For what?"
"Everything. As a leader and a mother."
"You're always welcome, my love."
Brightspots purred as she padded over to the fresh-kill pile. She settled down with Minnowshade and started chatting.
'She's happy. She has a normal life with friends and even some of the younger toms are padding after her,' Leopardstar thought as she watched her daughter.
Leopardstar remembered her own youth. She had her adoptive littermates and her father who was always there for her. As much as she was given, she had always been a little sad that she had never met her mother, who had died giving birth to her.
'Does Brightspots feel this sadness and emptiness when she thinks about her father?' the golden tabby wondered. She hoped not, for her daughter's sake. She didn't wish that kind of pain on anyone, even the other Clans. She knew all too well that sort of pain never left a cat for as long as they lived, and could be almost impossible to bear at times.
Leopardstar was painfully reminded of Brightspots' father again. There wasn't a day that went by that Leopardstar didn't experience the grief of losing her mate, even though he'd been in StarClan for moons. Some days it was as raw and harsh as the day he died.
Leopardstar once again didn't realize that she had tears in her eyes and that she was shaking again until Brightspots approached her and mewed quietly, "Mother, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, my love. Just a few painful memories, that's all," Leopardstar replied, giving her chest fur a few licks.
"Is it about Father?" her daughter inquired gently.
Leopardstar looked at Brightspots incredulously. "How did you know?"
"You always get the same look in your eyes when you think of him. It's sad and painful, and a bit distant with love too."
"You know me too well, Brightspots."
"Perhaps I do. You should try reliving a happy memory with him. I have a feeling you've been reliving his death, am I right?"
"How did you know?"
"You've told me multiple times that that's what you go through every day. Oh, mother, I wish you could think of him without being so sad."
"I'll try, my daughter."
"Thank you. I hate seeing you in this sort of pain."
"I'll try to be happier, I promise. You'd better get to your vigil, it's nearly dark.
"Thank you, Leopardstar. Have a good night."
"You too, my warrior." Leopardstar padded to her den as Brightspots joined Minnowshade on guard.
The RiverClan leader tried her hardest that night to think of her mate and be happy, but every happy memory was a heart-breaking reminder that Whiteclaw wasn't with her anymore. After some time of tring not to sob again, Leopardstar failed and ended up shaking and sobbing from raw grief. She just hoped that no one heard her, because she was in no state to talk to anyone.
After a long time of grieving for another countless day, Leopardstar finally fell into a restless sleep. As she was falling asleep, she prayed to StarClan that they send her sweet dreams, hoping she could speak to Whiteclaw.
•••
Leopardstar blinked open her eyes. The forest here was lucious as if it was the middle of greenleaf and the river was gently flowing, making soothing sounds.
"Leopardstar," a familiar voice called from behind her.
'Is it really him?' she hoped as she spun around. 'It really is him!'
"Whiteclaw!" she purred as she rushed to rub her muzzle with his. "I've missed you so much!"
"I can see that. I've missed you too, my love. Do not worry, I will always be with you and will always love you," Whiteclaw replied. Leopardstar purred in response.
"Do not grieve for me all the time. I know you miss me, and I miss you too, but life goes on. You cannot live in the past just as you cannot change it," Whiteclaw told her.
"Why haven't you come to me before?" Leopardstar asked her mate.
"I have something to tell you," he said, looking straight at her. "There's a cat out there who you will soon become very close to. Do not be afraid to show your feelings. I will understand and you won't be unfaithful to me."
"I don't want another mate. You're the only cat I ever loved," Leopardstar said, confused.
"Follow your heart. I will always be with you," the white warrior whispered as he started fading away.
"Don't leave me! Please!" Leopardstar called out desperately.
"I will always be with you, my love," his voice lingered, then all of his presence disappeared and Leopardstar awoke to the sun peeking through to her den.
'It was just a dream,' she though to herself, giving herself a shake. 'But who could this other cat be?'
