"I'm home, honey!" I raise my voice as I open the door to the apartment that I share with the guy I fell in love with about seven years ago. We met each other in the basketball team of the high school we both went into.

Before I even realized it, we weren't able to play properly without the other. Alone we were nothing, together we were able to do anything.

We were able to become the best players in Japan. Together.

Before I even realized it, he had become more important part of my life than I ever thought he would. One day I just woke up to the burning feeling inside of me, and I finally understood what caused it – I had feelings towards him.

At first I didn't want to confess them, not even to myself. But before we even realized it, we were dating. We became a couple. We lived through the good and the bad days together.

I take off my jacket, left my shoes to the hallway, leaving only the jeans, shirt and black socks that I was wearing on my body. With a small amount of sweat on my skin, I walk to the kitchen. Kuroko is there, preparing the dinner for both of us. I hear the voice of boiling water and smell the delicious smell of curry. That's his bravura. I teached him how to make it.

"Welcome home, dear" I hear the response for my words as I arrive at the doorway. The slender guy smiles at me for a few seconds gently before he turns his focus back on the food in front of him. He's wearing a light pink apron I bought him for a birthday present last year. It really suits him. He's so cute I can't help but smile when I look at him.

"How was your day?" he asks, not looking at me anymore. I hear that question every day I come from work, but I never get used to it. It is pleasing to know that he really wants to know about my day.

I take three steps towards Tetsuya, so I can stand right behind his back. I press my chin gently on his other shoulder, wrap my arms around his slim body. It feels still just the same as seven years ago. I fill my lungs with his pure scent as I close my eyes.

"It was unusually peaceful. Just a few little fires. Three cats in trees. One child lost in the forest" I explain silently right into his ear. My breathing tickles him, makes him laugh shortly, silently.

"...That's great" he almost whispers. "I'm always so worried about you when you leave in the morning. The job you are doing is so dangerous..." he mutters. I can hear from his voice that he doesn't smile anymore. Even talking about that makes him feel uneasy.

I tighten my grip of him, pull him closer to my core until our bodies are tightly pressed together. I don't care that I'm interrupting his cooking. I just want to be close to him right now, just like I want to be every day.

Every day with him makes me love him even more.

"Hey, don't say things like that," I request silently. How I really put my life in danger every day isn't something I want to talk about the first when I get back home after long hours and have a possibility to enjoy my time with the love of my life. "I am still here, am I? There's no way I would let myself die when you're here waiting for me" I whisper, telling once again how much I love him.

I want him to know how I feel. I don't want him to ever forget about it.

Kuroko doesn't say anything for a few seconds, but he slowly leans back, against me with his head. "I can't do this if you're clinging on me like that, Taiga," he says silently. I can hear again a small smile on his lips.

Because he asks so kindly, I slowly let go of him and straighten my back. But before I can leave him completely alone, I have to reach to his lips for a quick, loving kiss. "I'll prepare the table for us" I whisper into his ear. With the corners of my mouth turned slightly upwards, I walk away from him, feeling a gentle touch on my tight before I am too far for his hand to reach me anymore.

I take the plates, glasses and chopsticks from the closets, setting the table for both of us, humming silently for some song I heard from the radio earlier today. It has been playing inside of my head for the whole day now, not letting me alone for even a while.

It doesn't take very long before the food is ready. Tetsuya carries the steaming food to the table where I am already sitting at, waiting for him. He puts some food on both our plates, without the gentle smile disappearing from his lips even for a second. I can't get my eyes off him when he sits right in front of me, still wearing the cutest apron in the world. He smiles at me, I smile back at him.

The lighting in the room is dim. I tried to turn off the lights to make the moment feel a bit more intimidating and romantic. That's the way I am, a desperate romantic even if I am not very happy to admit it. And I don't usually like to show that side of me, but that guy is an exception.

"..This is tasty" I mutter, striking up a conversation with a simple compliment. Every time I say how tasty Tetsuya's food is, I can see his eyes fill up with joy. He tilts his head slightly and lowers his eyes to the table, trying to focus on his own meal. "...But not as tasty as you are" I just HAVE TO add a little naughty comment because Kuroko doesn't seem to come up with any answer. And I don't want to sit in a deep silence. I want his attention, I want reactions.

And that is exactly what I get.

Kuroko raises his gaze immediately at me. His whole face is covered in reddish color, and I can see how his skin is getting a bit hotter from embarrassment. "Stop before you even start that" he commands with a polite tone. He won't let me hear how I was able to make his heart race faster in his chest with just a few little words. He must be happy that I can't see the true shade of his cheeks due to the soft darkness in the room.

I can't help but grin and laugh silently inside of my mind.

"You're so cute when you're blushing" I throw another little comment about him. He just snorts silently and turns his eyes again away.

"...You should see your own ridiculous face when we're having sex before saying anything. I would love to get a picture od it someday" he mutters.

Ridiculous? Did he really say so? I know I am not very good at hiding the pleasure that I'm feeling, but... ridiculous?

I can feel my cheekbones heatening up.

"...Huh, really? Well you are not the best guy to say something like that. You still moan and whine like a horny little boy every time I'm touching you even a little" I just can't let him say the last word.

I never thought of starting the conversation only about our bedroom plays, but what can you do when he teases you like that?

"What? Me? Well, you sound like a girl every time you cum. Screaming my name the way you do, that's pitiful" he strikes back immediately. The skin of my face is slowly burning off.

Neither of us is willing to lose this. Both of us know that this is childish as fuck, but neither of us is willing to give up

After ten minutes of mean comments we have finally finished our meal and come up with the result that we're both pitiful as hell and we will never have sex again with someone like the guy on the other side of the table. No, never.

At times like this I really love my life.

Kuroko sits on the sofa in our little livingroom, looking at the black screen of TV. He really is tired. During the day he spent alone in home he cleaned up our whole aparment, did the dishes, put all the clean clothes in the closets, did some shopping in the grocery store and even made food for us. I couldn't be more thankful. I really have to pay back in some way.

I'm doing my best by making some hot chocolate for him. I don't have ingredients for his favourite drink of all the times – vanilla milkshake – but I'm sure that this will do. Especially if I whip some cream to put on top of it.

I walk to the sofa, pressing a gentle kiss on top of his head before sitting next to him.

I give him the violet mug filled with hot drik. I can see the pure happiness in his big, blue eyes as he thanks me silently. The guy I love slowly leans to me, presses his head on my shoulder. I can feel the soft blue strands tickling my neck and other cheek as I close my eyes. My left arm wraps slowly around him, pulling him even closer.

He feels so good next to me, pressed against me. It's like he's made for it.

"...Tetsuya..." I whisper, rubbing my cheek gently against his head. Every time I am able to breathe his scent I feel like I'm going crazy. It's like a drug for me. It helps me to forget the whole other world around me. "...I hope you know how much I love you...," I mutter. The bluenette sighs deeply, but not disappointed or anything. It sounds more like a happy sigh.

"Yeah..." he mumbles a slow answer. "...I love you too... Taiga..." hearing those words from him always makes my heart hit a single excessive beat. I still can not believe that someone like that really loves me. Someone that perfect.

"But you know..." he cuts me off my thoughts. "...It's getting late already. I think you should wake up," he says silently.

Surprised, I open my eyes immediately, and twich a bit. I can feel how the hot liquid from Kuroko's mug waters my jeans. Its hotness burns my skin, forces me to jump up immediately.

Swearing, I have to strips my pants off. I throw them a bit further away from me. My whole left tight is covered in scars, burn scars. They're burning again because of the hot chocolate. The skin is overall red. Bright red.

That really hurt!

I focus my gaze back at Tetsuya, just to find out that he's not there anymore. All I can see is a pillow with some chocolate smudges on it. It's laying there, right where Kuroko was just sitting at.

The realization freezes me at my place. I am not able to move in minutes. Every muscle of my body feels powerless.

When I am finally able to think again, I just tilt my head a bit, letting out a short sneer, looking at the empty sofa with squinted eyes.

Yeah.

He's not there.

He hasn't been there for three years.

But he still is there every night.

"...I'm so sorry, Tetsuya..." I whisper, feeling how the tears start to fill my eyes. I try to smile, but it is impossible.

My legs feel like they are about to betray me at any second. I have to sit down, sit down again next to my "Tetsuya", the blue laced pillow I brought for him after we moved together.

I can still imagine his scent on it. I can imagine his whole appearance around it.

And it isn't just imagination. It is real for me.

I am not able to get over him. And I don't even want to.

" ….I'm so sorry..." I whine, hiding my face into my palms.

I promised him to never kill myself in fires, but I wasn't able to prevent him from dying in one.