A Very Special Birthday
©2009 Golden Banana
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction; I am making nothing from it. All anime and manga characters herein remain the properties of their respective creators and/or owners.
Nobody called Noike Kamiki Jurai a coward—not if they wanted their life-expectancies to be measured in anything more than milliseconds, that is. It was therefore somewhat unusual to find her in the shrine office, trying to disappear under the low table that was one of that room's few furnishings. She covered her head with her arms.
Her Royal Highness Aeka Masaki Jurai, First Princess of the Jurai Empire, beloved daughter of His Imperial Majesty Azusa Jurai, first-born of Her Majesty Queen Misaki, would-be fiancée of Tenchi Masaki, stomped through the house, laying waste to stairs, floorboards, and tatami mats with every step.
Yosho had foreseen this, of course. That morning, he had restored his disguise as old Katsuhito and had retreated to the shrine, leaving his family with a firm reminder that shrines were not appropriate places for fighting. He had not foreseen Noike using the shrine as a hideout.
"She's gone insane!" she cried. "She's like a runaway train! Steam was pouring out of her ears! Her eyes were shining like industrial lasers!"
"Industrial lasers are usually infrared," he gently informed her.
Sasami looked up at her rampaging sister and leaped to her feet. "Busy, busy, busy!" she declared as she disappeared into the holy sanctuary of the kitchen. "I've got a cake in the oven. If anyone opens this door and makes it go flat, they're dead, okay?"
"That's not the point!" Noike cried. "I swear, purple flames were coming from her mouth!"
"Purple flames?"
"Purple. Flames."
"Oh, dear. That is bad."
Katsuhito demonstrated how bad it was by calmly pouring two cups of tea and putting one under the table for her. She somehow managed to sip it without taking her hands off her head or even opening her eyes.
Tenchi Masaki saw that Aeka's face was a shade of red not seen since the day Ryoko put itching powder in her bra. "Time to, um, pull some carrots," he said, nodding vigorously as he retreated towards the nearest exit. "Yeah, that's it, carrots."
"But it's pouring with rain," said Mihoshi, her face showing bafflement. Then she saw the throbbing veins in Aeka's forehead, threatening an eruption that would make Krakatoa roll over and beg. "Oh! Right! Um, got a mission. Bye!" She vanished with a twist of a cube and a splash.
"Thank you," Noike said between sips. "But I just don't understand! She never blows up like that!"
"It does rather depend upon who is writing the story," Katsuhito muttered.
"What?"
"Oh, don't mind me; I was just muttering. So, purple flames, you say?"
"Yes! Purple flames! She hasn't done that since… since the time Ryoko gave her a tube of wasabi paste and told her it was a new brand of hemorrhoid ointment."
Tea snorted down Katsuhito's nose. He wiped it off with a paper towel. "Yes, that was… very mean of Ryoko." His shoulders jerked as he said it. "She really should not have done that. I… can't imagine… who could possibly… have put her up to it."
Ryo-Ohki flipped into cabbit form and hid under the sofa. Banging noises from the direction of the laboratory indicated that Washu had not only locked herself in, but was boarding up the door.
"Hard to imagine that anyone could be more irresponsible than Ryoko."
"Yes, quite." He cleared his throat. "Well, it's nothing to worry about; she'll get over it soon enough. As they say, this too shall pass."
A distant explosion shook the ground and sent his remaining tea spilling across the table.
Somewhere near the orbit of Mars, a flotilla of ships of various kinds halted its panicky retreat from the third planet. The flotilla comprised several Royal Ships, including the Emperor's enormous Kirito, as well as a few Galaxy Police cruisers, and a couple of bizarre contraptions that were clearly the product of the deranged minds at the Galaxy Academy. They had originally assembled at Earth to celebrate what they had expected to be a happy occasion and a darn good party. Instead, having decided that this was probably a safe distance, the people aboard the ships now settled down to watch the developing events at the Masaki home.
Noike stifled a shriek. "It would be nice if the house could be left standing! I just don't understand. That gift was in really bad taste, but it didn't deserve such a reaction."
"Noike, you have to understand that this is not just any birthday."
"Oh? I don't see anything special about it. She's only 738. There's nothing significant about the number, and she's still a spring chicken by Jurai royal family standards."
"It is not merely her age that is significant, but the day itself."
"What of it?
Katsuhito sighed. "You still have much to learn about Earth, and Japanese culture in particular, do you not?"
"Well, I am kind of new here, yes."
"Then I shall explain." He poured himself a replacement cup of tea and took a long sip before continuing. "Do you know what day this is?"
"Of course. It's Aeka's birthday. Almost everyone in the universe knows that."
"Most of the people of Earth do not. Nor should they. Nevertheless, for the people of this archipelago where we have made our home, it is a special day. So special that it has been recognized as a national holiday."
"Big deal. Japan has so many national holidays, I'm surprised they still have time to go to work."
Katsuhito laughed. The irony was that Japan had so many holidays because it was the only way the government could get the people to take some time off to unwind and recharge.
"Maybe so," he chuckled. "Anyway, in 1947, a new holiday was proclaimed in Nomatanimura, to be held on the fifteenth of September every year. It was sufficiently popular that in 1966, the government renamed it and made it a national holiday."
"What does that have to do with this? Today isn't the fifteenth."
"Indeed it is not. You see, the government thought that having a holiday on a fixed date was a silly idea. Some years it would fall on a weekend. Others it would fall in mid-week, disrupting the working week. They thought it would be better to always hold it on a Monday, so everyone would have a long weekend and the working week would not be broken up. They changed it to the third Monday of September."
"I guess there's some sense to that. But I still don't see… Wait a minute. When did they change it?"
"2003."
Noike squeezed her eyes shut and furrowed her brow. "Curse this stupid Earth calendar! What idiot thought seven-day weeks and differing-length months that aren't a multiple would be a good idea? February is the only month that makes sense, and then only three years out of four! Anyway, taking leap years into account, that means in 2003, the holiday would have fallen on… um… the 22nd."
"Exactly so. Are you beginning to understand?"
"Not in the least. The date would shift back one day each year, so in 2004—"
"Leap year."
"Leap year. Right. So it would have shifted two days, back to the 20th. Then last year, 2008—"
"Another leap year."
"Right. So it would have shifted back another two days, but that would have made it the second Monday, so it actually shifted forward—to the 22nd again."
"Correct. And then?"
"Which means this year it's on the 21st. Aeka's birthday." Her eyes widened. "Oh! It's the first time they've ever been on the same day!"
Katsuhito clapped his hands. "Brilliant deduction, Holmes."
"Who?"
"Never mind. In fact, as you can see, it's the first time in the history of the universe. And would still have been, even if this holiday had been celebrated since the dawn of time."
"I see that. But I still don't see why Aeka should be so upset about it. What is the name of this holiday that is causing so much trouble?"
Ryoko pounded the floor with her first. She was laughing uncontrollably even as Aeka beat her to a pulp with a four-legged aluminum walking frame. Attached to it was a card saying "Happy Birthday Aeka."
Katsuhito said, "Respect for the Aged Day."
