A/N: Haven't been on in awhile, so I uploaded something! :) Please read after watching Operation Bumblebee part 2!
A songfic/One-shot. Starscream's POV.
I own nothing.
Song: "Save Me" by Staind.
Nice song. :) Was inspired by it, and this is the outcome. It was meant to be a slash, but it's not how it turned out. :\ Oh, well.
If you know the song, cool. :) If you don't, look it up - personally, I think the song puts the fic together. :3
This font = Song lyrics.
Enjoy. :D
I crouch down behind some boulders in some forest-like area. I hate this accursed organic planet. I've always hated it. All that's happened to me so far is nothing but bad luck - and that's putting it unbelievably lightly.
I don't have my T-Cog, so I cannot transform into jet mode, can't use my weapons, and I'm running low on energon.
Oh, Primus is so cruel to us. He has his favorites - and I'm not one of them.
Then again, I don't deserve a lot. I may not even deserve to still be online and functioning. But that will be corrected soon, I'm guessing.
This dark road,
another cigarette.
The carpet's strewn,
I'm getting sick of this.
I'm still fairly set on the fact that I'm alone. I'm not an Autobot, nor a Decepticon. I am just a Cybertorian. But isn't that how it's supposed to be?
Lately, I've had plenty of time to think. Not anything in particular, except this war. The raging war for Cybertron, tearing Cybertorian lives apart. I've actually come to believe it's unfair. Countless of Cybertorians' lives have been terminated, only because of your selfish desires and lust for power. But you seem unaffected, as always.
You don't have a problem with destroying anyone who gets in your way, young and old. You're willing to rip out a youngling's voice capacitor, obviously. Yes, I'm referring to the pathetic, Autobot scout. He was a kid. He's probably still being haunted by the memory to this day. I know I would be.
The end is near,
I'm in the thick of it.
And I'll be there soon,
if you can handle it.
I'm bordering complete exhaustion due to lack of energon. I'll be okay - or at least I will remain telling myself that. I will not die, though. I'm aware that you seem irritated by the mere thought of me online at this point. I am only a liability to your cause now, aren't I?
And to think that I called you master . . .
But then again, I was your second-in-command. Was. No longer held back onto your side, I will roam the universe for ways to keep you from achieving your twisted goals. You are not my master, and I will not follow your orders. I am only a setback to you.
I'm a problem to everyone. You obviously wanted me gone, anyway. Arachnid made that perfectly clear when she abandoned me. Then the Autobots found me. Though I begged to join them instead, they hadn't accepted me either.
I know Optimus Prime says he will try to end this war peacefully and will fight forever, but I can see it in his optics; he wants to end this war, and he wants it to end now. He's willing to give up his life to the cause. That alone proves he's a leader you can never rival to, he's too much for you, and you know it. Your stubborn pride only clouds it. Optimus Prime treats his team with integrity, wisdom, and he cares for them. Even when they fail a mission, he does not punish them.
So why do you?
Perhaps you are too naive yourself to lead the Decepticons. You always go on about how you're a better leader than I'll ever hope to be. Is that because you are larger in size? Size does not measure strength, and I learned that the harder way.
I may be a small Decepticon then most, but I gathered the courage to face my true identity; Starscream, the independent coward and wimp. I may be thinking this because my processor is fighting to keep a grip on logic as my veins cry out for energon.
But though I've realized my faults, I keep going forward. Unlike you, who's too afraid to realize who you really are.
Just save me
from all that I am.
You save me
for the fuck of it.
Save me,
just hold out your hand.
You save me
from all of it.
You're Megatron, the bloodthirsty monster who leeches off of other people's pain and weakness. I know, because you've only let me into your life.
But I know our previous placements, and that you said our positions would never again be switched.
Well, I may never be leader of the Decepticons, but I don't desire to anymore.
I thought my place was with the Autobots, but I was wrong again.
Then, I tried to form the temporary alliance with M.E.C.H. The organic, Silas, is such Decepticon material. He's like a smaller version of you: cruel. I thought that by creating the alliance would better my situation, and then I could turn on them. I guess I never expected for them to betray me first. Shocker - I was wrong. Again.
Primus loves to prove me wrong, but I sometimes think I make it too easy.
I try to speak myself,
you can do it too.
I need no one's help,
I'm needing only you.
As much as I despise you, my processor always drifts back to the memories of what seems so long ago, back when I was still by your side. It makes my spark ache to think this, but as much as I want to be independent, I can't survive alone. Every second passing is just my life clicking away.
I need help, but I refuse to accept it from anyone, whether Autobot, M.E.C.H, or Decepticon soldier. I know there's only one person I can trust, and it's the person I hate most:
You.
So just pray for me
and deliver it.
You never take from me
what I'm giving.
For whatever reason, I keep begging Primus for you to come. But you won't. I don't want you to. But at the same time, I do.
Why would you come back for me? You don't trust me - and frankly, neither do the Autobots - and you've probably already replaced my position with Soundwave or someone who is extremely loyal to you.
My visions becoming more and more difficult to handle by every other passing moment. I can manage though.
You know for a fact that suicide is one of the things I can't stand, so you'd understand why I haven't already just ended my own life. You know I'm stronger than that.
You know I'd like to take the challenge.
Like I know you're stronger physically than mentally. I'm the opposite.
Just save me
from all that I am.
You save me
for the fuck of it.
Save me,
just hold out your hand.
You save me
from all of it.
I still find myself expecting you to come save me, but I know it won't happen. I don't need you. I'm not scared of whatever is coming next. I'm not scared. I don't need you. Oh, how badly I want to tell you that directly to your face-plate. Though you'd beat me to no end, like last time.
Abuse. I don't see Optimus Prime abusing his team. Another Optimus reference? Of course.
Whatever triggers you to be unbelievably exasperated. When you're angry, you get sloppy.
I'd know that, of course.
And all that I've become is you.
The only good in me is you.
I don't need you, Megatron. I'm not scared Megatron. I will forever think that to myself. I will not die here. I will not.
The day will come to find out;
Will you take me?
Or forsake me?
I'm not scared. I don't need you. I'm not scared. I don't need you . . . I . . .
So pray for me.
Am I forgiven?
For what you take from me . . .
I'm scared, Megatron. I need you, Megatron.
Shivers shock down through my spine as I come to realization. I . . . really do need you.
I need you to save me, Megatron.
Just save me
from all that I am.
You save me
for the fuck of it.
Save me,
just hold out your hand.
You save me
from all of it.
Come save me.
I'm alive, no thanks to you still. I'll wait. Maybe. You know how impatient I am. You know me, Megatron. Probably more than I know myself.
I am Starscream.
"I have been a fool. Made mistakes. Monumental ones. But I have gained a clear understanding of my place in the universe. Of who I am. Starscream: aligned with no side, servant to no one."
Pray for me.
Am I forgiven?
