Chapter 1

Rated: M

Pairing: Raphael x April O' Neil (2k12)

Summary: It'd been over a year since April and Raphael started dating, but her patience was quickly wearing thin. After winning countless battles and trampling so many foes - was finally losing her v-card to her red-banded terrapin boyfriend too much to ask?

One Year.

One whole year... well, to be precise, one year, three months, and twenty-seven days. It had been that long since they'd officially been a "couple" Even though no "coupling" had really been done - at all.

Yeah, she was frustrated, more sexually frustrated than flat out angry frustrated, but frustrated nontheless. What was it gonna take? Seriously, what? For over a year now April outwardly was fine with it.

"Let's take it slow." he kept saying.

Be aware, this was coming from the one and only Raphael.

"Okay." she stupidly agreed, while silently cursing her hormones, which were in overdrive since she first kissed the angry pout of his mouth and felt those huge hands on her tiny waist on that one hot evening over in Northampton.

April thought he'd last a week, a month at most before they finally did the deed.

That was over a year ago.

First off, let's get one thing straight - April was not one of those girls who wanted to lose her V-Card before she was fifteen like most of those plastic looking girls in her high school. April was full on to wait until she found a really nice boy, dated him for quite awhile and maybe lose her virginity a little after her eighteen birthday but life doesn't always go as planned.

Meeting the turtles near her seventeenth birthday was not planned. Falling for the brother of the first one of them who grew an overwhelming crush on her wasn't planned either. Throwing a certain masked vigilante, who didn't even bother hiding his obvious fixation on her, into the whole mix and making him the best friend of that same turtle she'd fallen for made the whole thing into a fucking hurricane of confusion, guilt, and overwhelming frustration. And this was before she even knew Raphael ever felt anything but friendship toward her.

April nearly convinced herself she had no chance with Raphael and she should just let nature take it's course, but of course like most things in her life, it was never that simple.

It started with small glances, accidental brushes of a hand, catching him staring before he stuck his face into a magazine or completely threw his head in a different direction with a little more than a huff. It was this time she knew she was in real trouble and wasn't going to give nature a chance to change what she knew was taking place between her and the strongest turtle.

All hell broke loose when the Kraang invasion took place, April had just turned eighteen and now hiding out with her four mutant friends and Casey at her old family farm. Leo didn't wake up for weeks and her heart continued to fracture and crack as the days went on. She was dreading the day the splintering of her heart would finally drive her to completely shatter.

It didn't help matters that the strongest in their group - the seemingly invincible Raphael - looked weaker than ever. His eyes were slowly losing the fire they had carried since the first moment she met him. His movements seemed at once to be both listless and exhausted - she knew if Leo lost this battle, Raphael wouldn't be too far behind.

That small tidbit of information was enough to sober her up from her own girly issues going on between the triangle of her, Donatello, and Casey, which had become more of a dick-wagging contest as of late. Opting not to think about it nor wanting to be stuck in between the two anymore, she ignored both of them, spending much time as possible working instead on keeping them all fed, clean, and spirits up as much as you can for a bunch of teenagers stuck in the wilderness.

It didn't get easier even after Leo woke up, she learned that nothing was easy even if Raphael got some of his pep back. It didn't change the fact that Splinter was possibly dead, her father was nothing but a slimy piece of Kraang goo along with the rest of the citizens of New York, and they were just six teenagers hoping to save the world from an alien race. Making her undeniably superficial desire for Raphael the metaphoric cherry on top of her purgatory hell sundae just made the teenage girl curse it all. It wasn't until a few days later, when once again, Casey and Donnie went off the deep end and started fighting, with her in the room nevertheless, was when it all became too much and she finally crumpled under all the pressure.

April allowed herself to cry atop their little chicken coop. Yes, it was selfish and stupid but she fucking deserved it after all this unbelievable hell seemed to be constantly sprouting out around her. It took some time for the tears to finally stop. When she looked around, she realized the soft clucking had stopped and the moon was high in the sky. She opted to spend the rest of the night alone out here hoping for some reprieve from the group. With the release of tears, it came as a surprise when none other than the main source of her own personal distress climbed atop the rickety chicken coop to find her.

Upon seeing Raphael perched awkwardly atop the tin roof, she couldn't stop the overwhelming feelings she'd been bottling up to rise to the surface again. Tears were again dripping down her face and seeing his nervousness over the whole thing couldn't help but make her smile in spite of it all.

God, why did he have to be so handsome?

As her eyes rove over him as he approached to sit next to her, it was them that she realized she really did have nothing left to lose at this point. If she was going to at least tackle the one thing she could hope to control, this was possibly her only chance to do so - and she took it.

In the midst of her tears and his awkward comforting, she kissed him. It was completely uncoordinated and sloppy, not to mention salty with the amount of tears she shed, but feeling his smooth cool lips finally pressing against hers made the rest of the world fall away and to only focus on this one perfect moment.

What made her body tremble with excitement was when she felt him return it - his large hands timidly pressing against the middle of her back before settling on her hips. She couldn't help but smile against his mouth and lean her head slightly to the left in order to deepen it. When it just made it awkward, she tried to correct it, but her foot slipped on the slick metal instead. She jumped slightly feeling the force of gravity pulling her down, but his hands remained like stones, keeping her safely in place. Her eyes now opened to post - "I freaking just kissed Raphael" panic as they frantically searched his out.

She didn't have time to think before she felt his lips against hers once more. Her heart soaring, she wrapped her arms around his neck and didn't look back.

They kissed for a couple stolen moments - not making out really - just lips pressing and caressing against each others for a little bit. It was once he pulled away, just the look he gave her was enough to know that for now at least - they had to hide it. Which didn't start out very well considering Mikey just had to be visiting the chickens in the middle of the night and caught them jumping down from the roof, both holding hands and lips slightly swollen from their exploration... Now,thatwas easily put in top 3 awkward conversations either of them ever had.

Raph's fists being the only thing stopping Mikey from screeching the news to the world - April knew it was only a matter of time before it all imploded and all hell broke loose.

That moment would come less than two weeks later.

Raphael and herself were swimming at one of the many hidden lakes dotting the landscape. The feel of the cool water against their skin was quite successful in calming their nerves as much as it was for getting a much needed reprieve from the ever-watching eyes of Michelangelo, who seemed to never give them a second alone. The orange banded turtle had been surprisingly cool with the whole thing, except when he caught them kissing on the couch late one night - that he thought was absolutely mortifying and disgusting - but he handled it fairly well. Raph's threat still hung over the youngest turtle's head but they both knew that could only keep Mikey quiet for so long.

For today, they both didn't want to think about it - just to relax and spend some time together away from prying baby blue eyes and the suffocation of Casey and Donnie. They soon found themselves basking in the sun, the warm rays drying off the rest of the water. It wasn't long before their lips found one another and soon Raph was on his back, April leaning over atop his plastron and they started kissing as if they didn't want to come up for air.

It would have ended up to be a fine afternoon until the ungodly screech of terror drew them apart before their eyes focused on the source, which was coming from none other than Casey Jones and Donatello. Casey looked downright pissed and Donnie looked like nothing more than a kicked puppy.

"W-What in da actual hell is - is is... going on!? Leo s-said to gather everyone for training, and to find you guys doing... doing... Just - what the hell!?" Casey screeched, his words running atop one another as April hurriedly grabbed for her towel, not really wanting to be seen with just her thin bathing suit in a very compromising situation even though it was a little late for that.

Now thoroughly wrapped up, April realized she had no words. Her tongue felt like lead and her heart was wedged heavily somewhere in the vicinity of her lower intestines. She instantly felt the cold rush of reality and the sickening feeling of utter guilt and dread flood through her body.

"What does it look like?" Raphael replied much to April's shock. Her eyes instantly looked to her left, where he stood with his arms loosely crossed, maskless and seemingly as calm as ever. She stood, her knees knocking slightly under Donatello's sad gaze and Casey's burning rage.

"What?!" Casey growled, oblivious at Raph's calm demeanor.

Raph sighed before continuing, "Obviously, me and April were kissing. What's the big deal?"

April's heart moved to her throat, a look of terror overtaking her face at Raph's explanation. Why couldn't he just say he was giving her mouth to mouth or vice-versa!? That was believable - right?!

"What's the big deal!? What's the big deal!?You and April - just - just..." Casey stammered, his voice losing the fire it just held.

"We're together. People who decide to be together do like to kiss once in awhile, Casey." Raph replied simply as if he just mentioning about the weather.

"But - when - how - just... Tell me what the fuck is going on!" Casey finally screamed, his fists trembling by his side, wanting nothing more than to punch the turtle across from him in his stoic face.

"It's true." April said, finally finding her voice even though it came out as nothing more a raspy whisper. Clearing her throat, she grabbed Raph's hand, her voice growing stronger as she continued, "We're together, okay? I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner but if you guys payed attention once in awhile instead of just fighting over me like some damn prize, maybe you would've noticed sooner. And what the hell does it matter?! There are certainly more important things than whom we decide to be with right now, don't you agree? ...Donnie?" she finished her eyes locking with Donatello. Her hand was trembling as she kept her eyes on the soft brown which seemed to harden as the seconds ticked by. She swallowed the seed of doubt that built in her throat when she felt Raph's hand squeeze hers tightly.

The turtle in purple said nothing before walking away back toward the cabin.

The month following was nothing short of actual hell on earth. Casey was grouchy for a full week but eventually with prodding by Raph, April, and Mikey - he had come as close as one could to accepting it as was possible. But Donnie was another story - Donnie and Raph were never in the same room. April was forced to play mediator but Donnie would come to avoid her like a plague. This was the time she was beginning to second-guess everything. She began to wonder if her feelings toward the strongest turtle were nothing but purely physical attraction.

Those doubts faded quick.

Spending more time with him, she realized and come to accept that this was far more. Whether it was his sense of humor, his surprising gentleness, his fierce protectiveness of his family, the soft cock of his head and that delightful smirk when he was being a smart ass, the way he crossed his arms making his biceps bulge in the most glorious way, the way he bit his pouty lower lip when he was concentrating, and the way his voice made her spine tingle pleasantly. It was all these things wrapped into one topped with a bow when she realized just how compatible they were.

Their had witty sarcastic banter back and forth and since they both had such short fuses, their temperament was almost identical - which she was the first to admit was a scary thing when they both exploded at once. It was all of this that made her realize she'd made the right choice and if Donatello didn't want to accept that, she wasn't going to let it bother her anymore even with his vast amount of gut-wrenching guilt and kicked puppy face syndrome. Love wasn't a one way street - it took two people and as much as she cared for and loved Donatello as a friend, she knew that it wouldn't be fair to him to pretend she felt the same toward him. Sure, she entertained the idea for awhile because he was so determined to be with her she began to think she didn't have a choice.

That changed drastically with Raphael. Instead of feeling suffocated by his constant attention and presence, she'd learned what it meant to co-exist. To be an equal and not be placed on this metaphoric pedestal. Raphael would rile her up, argue with her, not go easy on her in their ninja training. She felt like an equal and a partner rather than just an object and it was then she knew she made the right choice. She didn't want to hurt Donatello or Casey in this decision, but Raphael made her happy. And if Donnie or Casey didn't like it - she really didn't care because this was her life and her choice and nothing they said would never change her mind.

What about Leonardo? Other than Leo's eyes nearly popping out of his cranial cavity a few short hours after Casey and Donnie found out, it was pretty uneventful. At first, Leo was pretty adamant against it simply because of the shadow of turmoil it brought in it's wake. All took was for Raph to bring up Karai, and all the turmoil that fiasco caused - Leo shut up pretty quick and he ended up congratulating them instead.

It took quite some time, but Donnie eventually came around. April knew Raph talked to him because the turtle in red was sporting a black eye and bloodied nose (snout?) at breakfast one morning and she knew Raph let him have that one. Probably didn't even put up a fight either. After that incident, it seemed as if everything was slowly turning to normal.

For the first time in what seemed like forever - things started to come together. Still awkward at times, April and Raph kept it pretty much well hidden. There was still the occasional slip where they'd get caught kissing or holding hands, but PDA's were nearly non-existent. Doesn't mean it didn't happen in private - they shared kisses and occasionally, soft petting, but nothing else. Even tongue was rare. But this didn't matter though. As time went on and they all prepared to take back New York, things like romantic relationships were supposed to fall to the back burner. There were way more important things than her non-existent sexual relationship with her boyfriend. April figured once things began going back to normal, maybe things would change.

They didn't.

At first, it was understandable - After the Kraang retreated, there was a lot of cleanup to be done. The lair had to be repaired as well as all of New York being rebuilt. On top of it all, Splinter was back to training, which tired them all out. It didn't help matters that the rest of his brothers were always around them. Finally, her father, now in his normal form, was back and spending a lot of time with her. So for nearly half a year, it was rare to see one another outside of a group. But soon, life returned to normal, and yet, it seemed as if their relationship had been stuck in the first week they decided to be official.

This was when April's frustration began. She had a boyfriend. A very good looking muscular boyfriend with Lord-knows a bunch of unused testosterone just waiting to be released. It wasn't as if they didn't have the time or means - they did. The Kraang had dispersed for now and Shredder was annoying as ever but nothing they couldn't handle. They had the lair back and April stayed with her father, who was out of town on business most of time, by all means, it should have happened by now. April figured Raph must be saving it for a special occasion, so as their one year anniversary passed without nothing more than a quick peck and a box of chocolate that Raph had Casey buy, before he left on nightly patrol - April was starting to grow suspicious.

Almost four months later, it wasn't getting much better.

Currently, they were sitting at her apartment, watching a new release movie she'd grabbed from redbox earlier in the day. Dinner was just some greasy Italian food from down the street, but April was pining for anything that would get Raph to come over these days.

She looked over at Raph, who was leaning heavily in her sofa, his arms draped over the back of the couch as his eyes stayed glued to the glowing box. She inwardly huffed. She'd put on a little make-up coupled with all she had on, which was nothing more than a paper thin tank top and short black shorts and he had barely looked at her! She wasn't trying to be necessarily alluring to get his attention, she admitted she wanted to just give him a nudge. Maybe he just needed a little push in the right direction and he'd finally cave in to what she knew he wanted. Why was he waiting anyway? Yeah, he was a virgin, but so was she and he knew that. She thought maybe he'd have doubts about performing good for her but she never had it before so that didn't make any sense.

The closest they'd come had been just last week. They'd been at her apartment and were watching lame YouTube videos on her bed as they shared some junk food. She was excited about this proposal of having him on her bed, which Raphael normally wouldn't get close to, but this time she'd had an excuse - this particular night was when the couch was being replaced. Truth be told, Raph was the reason for it - he tended to have a bad habit of plopping down. It didn't help that his weight far exceeded normal human occupants considering the added bulk of his muscles and bony armor. He'd been awfully sorry and had adorably offered to pay for it after the wood had splintered and the springs gave out, but her father just laughed it off knowing everything Raph and his family had done to save so everyone, what's a couple hundred for a couch in the grand scheme of things?

The set-up was perfect. They were both on their stomachs watching her large desktop screen as she used her wireless mouse to keep the videos coming without having to get up. It was past midnight and hearing his throaty deep laugh and just all of the feeling it gave her - she couldn't help but kiss him. They were soon facing each other on their sides and kissing heavily. Their tongues pressing and caressing while wandering hands soon followed. April's hands was gently rubbing circles along his hip and thigh as her other was wrapped around his neck. She had to contain her villain laugh at the fact her plan had been going to well. She didn't stop the smile though when Raph moved his hands from their usual placement on her back to instead gently grasped her hip and began working his way up. April couldn't stop the moan that left her throat when his hand brushed along the underside of her breast as her hand bravely brushed along the lower scutes of his plastron.

A second later, Raph was gone. She opened her eyes as soon as his lips and warmth were replaces with nothing but cold air and that's when she saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, his shell to her.

"Something wrong?" she asked softly, silently cursing that her plan was in trouble, when she wanted nothing more than to pull him back down and continue where they left of.

Raph sighed softly before looking over his shoulder at her. His eyes scanned her face for a moment before he left her room without saying a word. She heard the kitchen window open then close followed by nothing but eerie silence. Instead of calling him like she told herself she should, she'd instead been overcome by a horrible feeling of dread and against her better judgment, fell into a troubled sleep.

That's why it came as a sheer shock that when she'd woken up the next morning and found him standing at her stove making eggs and bacon as if nothing happened.

"Sorry." he said before any words had the chance to leave her throat.

April waited for a moment seeing if he would explain anything else excusing his unusual behavior from last night, but nothing came. After turning off the burners, he'd turned to her with two plates of food and a soft smile uplifting the corners of his mouth. She couldn't help but return it and just let his actions from the previous night go forgiven knowing maybe it would go better next time.

They hadn't so much as held hands since.