Hey guys. I don't know if I'm the first one to think of this idea but I have created a girl version of Sweeney Todd. It's pretty cool... well I think it is. Pretty much every character is the same except for Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett and Judge Turpin. All of them are the opposite sex and have different names. Instead of killing people buy slitting their throats my Sweeney Todd, a.k.a Amy Dodd, braids hair and chokes her victims. I've got a lot of time on my hands (being that it's spring break and I've got a massive ear infection) I'd love reviews. Creative criticism is also very welcome. Thanks :)
The waves crashed around the small boat as it pulled into the London dock.
Stepping down onto the dock was a young woman. Her face was long, skinny and deathly
pale. Her thick hair was braided in two French braids down her back. Her hair was pitch
black with no other colors in it except for a long lock of white which ran from her bangs
down her left braid. She wore ragged black clothes and stared up at the surrounding
buildings her dark eyes a mix of fear and curiosity.
A young man got off the ship after her carrying a large rucksack on his shoulders.
He had long dirty blond hair that fell right at his shoulders.
His skin was tan from being at sea for so long.
He ran his eyes over the place he had missed for so long.
Sighing Anthony Hope smiled, finally feeling at home.
"I have sailed the world,
Beheld its wonders.
From the Dardanelles,
To the mountains of Peru.
But there's no place like London."
Suddenly his ship mate, Amy Dodd, interrupted, sounding disgusted.
"No there's no place like London."
"Ms. Dodd…?" Anthony asked confused.
However Amy wasn't listening.
"You are young
Life has been kind to you
You will learn.
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it
And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit
And it goes by the name of London
At the top of the hole sit a privileged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo
Turning beauty into filth and greed - I too
Have sailed the world
And seen its wonders
For the cruelty of men
Is as wondrous as Peru
But there's no place like London!"
Anthony couldn't help feeling concerned.
He had found this woman lost at sea.
From what he could get out of her she had been in Australia being forced to do hard labor.
He had tried to get more out of her but she wouldn't budge. He decided, however, to try again.
"Is everything alright Ms. Dodd?"
"I beg your indulgence, Anthony. My mind is far from easy." Ms. Dodd looked around nervously.
"In these once-familiar streets, I feel shadows everywhere.
There was a braider and her husband
And he was elegant,
A foolish braider and her husband
He was her life and wasn't bland.
And he was elegant,
And he was radiant,
And she was… naïve.
There was another girl who saw
That he was elegant
A pious wife of the law
Who with a gesture of her claw
Removed the braider from her plate
Then there was nothing but to wait
And he would fall
So harsh,
So cold,
So lost and oh, so elegant!"
Anthony couldn't help but feel bad for her. He suspected that the braider she spoke of was herself but decided not to reveal that just yet.
"And the man, miss? Did he succumb?" Anthony asked, curiously.
"Oh that was many years ago. Ms. Dodd answered. I doubt anyone would know."
"I'd like to thank you, Anthony. If you hadn't spotted me, I would be lost on the ocean still." Ms. Dodd said her eyes still sweeping over the dark streets.
"Will I see you again?" Anthony inquired.
"You might find me, if you like, around Fleet Street, I wouldn't wonder." Amy said absentmindedly.
"Until then, my friend." Anthony said holding out his hand for her to shake it. However she just walked away muttering to herself.
"There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it."
Amy Dodd walked down the long street to find the too familiar building sitting exactly where it had sat before she had been sent away.
The sign above the small shop read Mr. Fannett's Pie Shop.
She entered to find a middle aged man standing behind the counter who she assumed was Mr. Fannett.
He had stringy black hair and pale skin, resembling hers. He was cutting onions and hadn't noticed her presence.
Suddenly he saw her and gasped, "A customer!
Wait what's your rush, what's your hurry.
You gave me such a…fright. I thought you were a ghost, half a minute can'tcher.
Sit! Sit ye down. Sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer in weeks.
Did you come in for a pie ma'am?
Do forgive me if me heads a little vague."
All of a sudden a small bug ran across the counter top.
"What was that?" He said pulling off the counter and crushing it beneath his foot.
"But you'd think we'd had the plague,
By the way that people keep avoiding," all of a sudden a second bug ran across the cutting board.
"No you don't." Mr. Fannett exclaimed squishing the bug with his hand.
"Heaven knows I try, ma'am.
But there's no one comes in even to inhale," With that he placed a pie on a plate and grabbed a bottle off the counter.
"Right you are, ma'am, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can hardly blame them.
These are probably the worst pies in London." With that he placed the pie in front of Amy who pulled it closer hesitantly.
"I know why nobody cares to take them," Mr. Fannett said walking back to the counter.
"I should know - I make 'em
But good? No!
The worst pies in London." Ms. Dodd picked up the pie nervously and smelled it, but was unable to determine what type of meat it contained.
"Even that's polite
The worst pies in London
If you doubt it, take a bite--." Tentatively Amy Dodd picked up the pie and took a small bite.
"Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it
It's nothing but crusting." Unable to swallow the small bite she had taken Amy leaned over and spit it out.
Here drink this, you'll need it," Mr. Fannett said handing her ale.
The worst pies in London.
And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it." Mr. Fannett said promptly trying to flatten a piece of dough.
Never
Thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat
Finding poor,
Animals,
Wot are dyin' in the street." He then grabbed a rolling pin and hit the dough hard with a bang.
Amy raised her eyebrows skeptically.
"Mr. Moony has a pie shop." Bang, bang.
"Does a business, but I notice somethin' weird." Bang, bang.
Lately all his neighbour's cats have disappeared." Bang, bang.
"Have to hand it to ho,." With another "bang" Dodd tried offering advice but was promptly interrupted.
"Wot I calls
Enterprise
Poppin' pussies into pies.
Wouldn't do in my shop," he said taking the rolling pin and actually rolling the dough out.
"Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick
And I'm telling you them pussy cats is quick
No denyin' times is hard, sir." Looking down at the pie Amy saw a small bug crawl out of the pie.
"Even harder than the worst pies in London.
Only lard and nothing more.
Is that just revolting?" Running her tongue over her lips she reached for the ale, hoping it would wash the taste out of her mouth.
"All greasy and gritty
It looks like its molting
And tastes like-- well, pity
A man alone
With limited wind." She put down the cup of ale and cleared her throat, now trying to get the dusty old ale taste out of her mouth.
And the worst pies in London!
Ah, ma'am
Times is hard.
Times is hard." Suddenly another small bug ran across his cutting board. Grabbing the rolling pin he squished the bug hard against the board.
Well, what do you think? Please tell me even if you like it. Give me tips too. Should I do the songs differently? Please tell me. Love, Talon Raleigh Cullen.
