A/N: This is a little something I just wrote in the middle of some serious emotions. Like it or hate it, this is my way of venting and I feel like if I can't help myself, then maybe I can use my writing to help you all who are sure, if you ever need anyone to talk to, that you NEVER take it out on yourself. Write, scream, do something besides taking your own life, or hurting yourself in some way. There is always someone who cares and, I've come to realize just who those people are, and it took me many years to realize who I can rely on, and who I can't. Just know you are not alone, and what your going through, it will get better. With time. This story is about a girl who's life starts to fall apart. She doesn't know where to go but to reading fanfiction's, But even her escaped can't help her as her mind starts to show images of her favorite characters.


Stairway to Heaven

It's hard to admit you're damaged beyond repair.

It's hard to ask for help.

It's hard when you become so attached to fictional characters they become closer to you than your own family.

I couldn't see an end... that's how i ended up here.
Connected to purring machines.

A senior in high school, just turned 18, wanting to become a writer.

I had an amazing boyfriend... had...

I had really good friends... had...

I had everything a teenager could have wanted...

But something was missing.

I wanted... needed adventure.

Magic...

Hope?

I started writing fanfics, my escape from this unraveling world we live in. I started to be better...

Then the nightmares came...

I couldn't run away from them so I didn't sleep... I wrote.

I wrote till I had to go to school.

Get dressed.

Make up.

Hair.

Books.

Breakfast.

Smile.

Off to prison we go.

I hated the place.

Then I ran into him.

His eyes were so blue! His hair was just the white I imagined it would be. He laughed and tapped my nose, giving me chills.

I laughed and started to talk to him.

Finally someone who would talk to me without silently judging.

We talked every waking moment. And for a bit, the nightmares went away.

My guardian was there.

Protecting me.

Then he disappeared one day. I was so sad and angry! How dare he abandon me? He promised to protect me!

I went back into my shell, and the nightmares came back full force.

The darkness wouldn't go away!

It called out to me.

Taunting me, driving me insane.

Where are you Jack?!

I fell deeper into despair.

Days turned into weeks as time went by. Spring break came and went and i haven't slept since Christmas.

Then one day, I was sitting under a weeping willow, playing with my cat when a green apple hit my head. I looked up and saw emerald green eyes smiling down at me before jumping down at my side.

"Sweet girl, why do you not smile? Has someone robbed my darling princess of her happiness?"

I shrugged as he wrapped an arm around me and held me as i cried.

He moved on, he went to prom with another girl.

We were supposed to go to prom together!

How dare he?!

It's as if we never even dated!

My prince kissed my head as tears ran down my pale cheeks.

"Don't fret my dear."

I want him to be in as much pain as I am in!

"It will come... in time."

After prom my prince left... and I stopped eating.

A month before graduation.

Straight A's

Chin up, smile on.

Don't look sick.

I'm fading

Oh God.

They know.

"What do they know."

I looked up at him with a weak smile as he wrapped his strong arms around my waist.

"Don't worry angel. We'll show them."

But how?

"By smiling like your life depends on it."

He doesn't understand.

"Yes I do. I spent most of my life saving others. Watching over my pain-in-the-ass little brother. You can do it."

I started eating again.

The nightmares went away.

He holds me every night to fight the demons.

Jack came back.

He threw a snowball in my face at lunch.

I threw my lunch at him and started a food fight.

Loki returned.

He made sure my ex paid for breaking my heart.

Dean never left me.

He stayed constant, like Jack and Loki did in time.

I went down, as down as someone could go.

I didn't see an end.

I stopped eating, stopped sleeping.

Dean, Jack and Loki grew worried.

"Did we upset you love?"

No.

You don't understand.

"Help us to snowflake."

You can't.

You're not real.

"Thats bull and you know it babe."

How so?

"Do you believe the suns gone when its behind a cloud?"

No, the sun is constant.

"Do you see the wind?"

No.

"But do you feel it?"

Well, yeah.

"Do you see God?"

Well... no...

"But you believe and know in your heart that he is there, correct?"

Yes.

"Then how can we not be real?"

"Perhaps we are real, but everyone else just chooses not to see us?"

"Wouldn't be the first time."

I got better.

I graduated.

I had fun with Jack, Loki and Dean.

My parents noticed I talked to myself more than normal.

I went to a psychiatrist.

They declared me depressed.

I didn't deny.

I didn't reply.

I just sat there and cried.

My boys held me, and loved me.

Then made me laugh.

I was given anti-depressants.

MY BOYS LEFT ME!

I went crazy.

Broke everything I could in sight.

I just wanted them back!

I stopped eating.

Stopped sleeping.

Now I'm in the hospital.

Thin and pale.

Immune system is shot.

My hair started to fall out.

They came back!

They stood by my bed, all three taking turns in holding me as i wept.

Holding me as I slept.

"C'mon girl, were going hunting."

Really?

"You bet."

"Then we'll go to Asgard! Oh the magic i could teach you!"

Tears sprang into my eyes as i started to grow cold.

Jack?

"I'm here snowflake."

Can we go flying?

"Sure thing sweet heart."

Thank you.

They all stood at the foot of my bed as the light behind them grew. My heart rate decreased as i saw Asgard. I saw the impala and Sam, waiting for us. I saw North's workshop.

"Dean? Loki? Jack?"

"Yes butter cup?" They replied simultaneously

"Thank you, for everything. I felt so alone... and I owe you so much."

DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING?
SINGING A SONG OF ANGRY MEN?
THIS IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE
WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN.
WHEN THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART
ECHOES THE BEATING OF THE DRUM.
THERE IS A LIFE ABOUT TO START WHEN
TOMORROW COMES!


A/N: Reminder, there is always someone who cares. Be strong, keep your chin up champ, because the sun doesn't hide for long.