Craig pulled at the strings of his chullo in a poor attempt to cover his face. Even if he was able to hide underneath it, everyone knew that he wore it every day. A better disguise would have been a different hat. Or maybe a wig. He hadn't really planned that far. He hadn't really planned to be in this scenario in general. It's not like he woke up that morning and thought "hey, I wanna stand in the middle of the hallway gawking at the poster for the spring play". But that's the situation he found himself in, and it made him a bit uncomfortable.
He was Craig Tucker, dammit. The supposed "cool kid" of the high school. Hell, of the whole damn town. He didn't know exactly how this had become his designated description. He guessed because he tended to keep his emotions and opinions to himself, and because he didn't talk much. This was especially true when he was hanging out with his best friend Clyde. That boy would probably explode if he ever had to stay silent for more than a few minutes. That's what Craig loved about their friendship. Clyde was the conversationalist and Craig was the listener. However, being the listener meant others just saw a quiet asshole who was "too cool" to interact with the other kids. That couldn't be farther from the truth, but the people who didn't know him would never believe anything else and Craig didn't care enough to try to prove them wrong.
So "the kid who just doesn't give a fuck" was standing in the middle of the hallway, waiting for the last class of the day to let out. He had a study period at the end the day, and the underpaid teacher who had to supervise that group of kids usually took a nap during it, so he had decided to go for a walk during the final ten minutes. That's when he found the poster.
It had just barely caught his eye. It was clear that it had been handmade by the kids from the Drama Club. They should probably stick with acting because their drawing skills were lacking. Still, the silver sharpie on metallic gold paper look stood out to Craig in all of its tacky glory.
Spring Play Auditions!
We're doing Almost, Maine!
This Thursday and Friday at 3!
Please bring a prepared monologue and
be ready to do a scene reading!
The amount of exclamation points used in the poster should have scared Craig away. That level of enthusiasm was usually too intense and tiring for his boring ass. Again, being friends with Clyde usually used up all of his energy in general. But it
scare him away. He was oddly drawn to the poster, and he ended up losing track of time. He didn't know exactly why the thought passed through his mind, but for a fleeting moment, he thought that maybe he should audition.
But that was absurd! He was an awful actor. Just awful. He'd tried it a little in English class when they'd read Shakespeare aloud. The teacher had told him that his rendition of Hamlet was so god awful that it would make Shakespeare crawl out of his grave, find a gun to shoot himself with, and die again. The class laughed and Craig just shrugged. Truthfully though, it hurt. But the cool kid pretends it doesn't bother him. The cool kid isn't disappointed that he's not good at acting, even though he had a shit ton of fun doing it. The cool kid just slouches back in his chair and flips off anyone who turns to look at him.
There was also that time back in elementary school when the entire town had decided to ship him and Tweek together simply because of some cute artwork made by a handful of students. When they'd tried to stage a break up, Craig had been stiff and over-the-top. Meanwhile, Tweek had learned he had a talent for acting that day. Curse him for that talent. Their staged break-up hadn't worked, and they'd later decided to just pretend to date for a while because they really did enjoy spending time with each other, and it gave them a chance to become closer friends. It was about a year later that the town finally forgot about the whole thing and had moved on to whatever new absurdity had infected the town. Craig and Tweek hadn't had to change much about their "couple behavior", other than they stopped holding hands. Now that they were closer friends, they decided to continue hanging out together just because they had fun together.
Years had passed since then, and once they reached high school, Tweek dove really deep into the Drama Club. So deep that it reached the point where they never really hung out alone much anymore. He missed Tweek. He really,
missed Tweek. They only ever got to see each other when they were hanging out with Token, Jimmy, and Clyde as a group. That was always a fun time, but it just wasn't the same. He could only describe the way he missed Tweek as losing one of your fingers. Sure, you have the other fingers, but you're going to mourn the loss of that missing finger for a long time.
Maybe that was what had made him stop and stare at the Drama Club poster in the first place. Maybe he caught it in his peripheral vision and it reminded him of Tweek. He
heard him mention that he was excited for the spring play. It was going to be the last performance of his high school career, and Tweek wanted to make it a big fucking deal. He had bragged to the gang that he was the one who had suggested the play—this
thing—and he was stoked that the teacher who directed the Drama Club's productions had selected it. Craig didn't know what the hell the play was about, but if Tweek liked it, it was probably pretty good.
Craig had been thinking an awful lot about Tweek since he started staring at this poster. How long had he been standing here in the middle of the hallway, anyway?
That was the bell. Students began to flood out of the classrooms and into the hallway. The hallway that Craig was unfortunately standing in
No one would notice the tall, lanky boy decked out in all blue pretending to be a statue of an awkward teenager, right? Luckily for him, most didn't. The other students simply walked around him, more focused on their own problems and thoughts of getting home. Unluckily for him, his friends had met up and were walking through the hallway together, and they most definitely
notice him.
"Hey Craigslist!" Clyde greeted.
Craig stayed frozen, hoping Clyde would leave if he didn't sense movement.
"Dammit Craig! I told you that shit doesn't work! I'm not a T-Rex! I can still see you!" Clyde said. He placed his hands on his hips and shook his head.
"Are you okay, Craig?"
The sound of Tweek's voice made Craig drop his hands from the yarn ties and turn to face his friends.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He shrugged. "There was a fucking hornet in here before the bell went off, and I froze up until it left so it wouldn't sting me."
"That is a totally legitimate answer!" said Clyde. There was only a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"Yeah, definitely legit, Craig," said Token.
He laughed at Craig and patted his shoulder. Craig wasn't what you'd call a "touchy-feely" person, but he had learned to accept, and even enjoy, the touches of his friends.
"Ready to g-get out of here?" asked Jimmy.
The other four voiced their agreement and they headed off to the exits. Craig didn't notice that Tweek had hung back a few steps behind them. Tweek paused to look at the flyer, then over at the back of Craig's head. He smiled to himself and hurried to catch up with the others.
Craig lied on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had finished his homework and had just come upstairs from dinner. He had tried to play a videogame, but couldn't decide on which one to play. So, he he ended up here. Lying and staring. It was all he felt he could do at the moment. His brain couldn't focus on anything other than how badly he wanted to audition for the school play.
He wanted to tell someone. Anyone. He thought about texting Clyde, but he'd probably get ripped on for it. He loved his best friend dearly, but he wasn't necessarily the best listener, especially when it came to people opening up. Token and Jimmy were much better listeners, but Craig rarely ever confessed things to them. They were good friends, but Craig only liked to get personal with a few people. Honestly, the best person to talk to about this was Tweek, but he hadn't texted him in weeks and-
Craig's phone buzzed beside him.
He turned his head to glance at the glowing screen, the rest of his body rolling to the side once he saw who had sent the text.
Speak of the fucking devil.
Hey.
Hey.
So…you're interested in the spring play, hmm?
Craig felt a rush of butterflies in his stomach. This felt absurd. Why should he be so nervous about this? It was just Tweek! A friend of his. The exact person who he wanted to talk to about this. Yet he felt…vulnerable. Like he was worried by what Tweek would think about his new found desire to act. So Craig Tucker, cool guy, tried his best to play it cool.
Huh?
Cut the shit, Craig. You were staring at our poster like a deer in headlights.
That didn't go as well as Craig had hoped. He tried for a Hail Mary, but he was never very good at football.
Cool guy quip.
…
What?!
I couldn't think of a good comeback.
You're ridiculous.
Look, I'm glad you're thinking of auditioning.
I'd love to have all of my friends on stage with me.
But Craig.
You suck at acting.
Fuck, don't sugarcoat it next time.
Fine then. I won't bother.
Craig knew he sucked. He'd be the first one to admit it. It still stung to see that Tweek felt the same way.
Jesuschrist
Letme fuckking finish typng first!1
I was GOING to say that I can help you.
If you're free tonight, I can come over and we can work on lines.
You'd really do that for me?
Yeah man!
You're one of my best friends!
Plus we haven't hung out in a while.
Could be fun.
Yeah. Cool. Whatever.
Come on over.
Craig closed the text with Tweek and immediately opened up his conversation with Clyde.
Dude, I need help!
Okay ready. Send your dick pic and I'll tell you what I think
The fuck?
Huh?
Goddammit Craig! That was supposed to go to someone else!
Who the fuck is trying to send you a dick pic?
Uh, no one. What's up?
Tweek's coming over.
Okay? So what's the problem?
You guys hang out all the time.
I don't know! I just feel nervous!
Like, should I shower before he comes over?
Should I change my clothes?
He saw what I was wearing at school though
So that might seem weird.
Woah, Craig! Hold on
Why would Tweek give a shit about what clothes you're wearing?
Wait.
Wait a fucking minute.
Bro.
BRO.
DUDE DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING CRUSH ON TWEEK?
Craig flung his phone to the floor. What was Clyde going on about anyway? That was crazy talk. That boy was always saying outlandish things. Does Craig have a crush on Tweek. That's ridiculous. He doesn't. Really. It's totally normal that one friend would have a very strong interest in another friend's opinion of them. Craig wrapped the strings of his hat around his fingers and tugged.
Tweek sat with his legs spread out on Craig's bed, several books of monologues scattered around him. His face was cheerful and expressive. It was obvious that he was genuinely excited about helping Craig with his acting skills. Or lack thereof. Craig wasn't sure what made him more nervous, the fact that he was going to have to act in front of "Mr. Drama Club" himself or the fact that he and Tweek were alone in his room together for the first time in ages.
But why should the latter make him nervous? They had hung out alone together numerous times in the past. In fact, when they were technically a couple, their parents had both encouraged them to stay in their rooms together with the door closed. What the hell did they think they were going to do back then? And why would they fucking encourage that? Their parents were fucking weird. Being alone with Tweek back then had never made Craig feel any different. They had just chatted and played videogames together. They sometimes wrote stories about aliens and secret underground bases. But now…there was something about Tweek that made Craig feel funny, and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. Craig managed to keep his cool on the outside, but inside Clyde's words gnawed at the back of his mind.
"Okay. I think—ngh—I think I found a few monologues that could fit you well," Tweek began. "Since you're just starting out, I think you should pick one that feels natural to you. I don't want you to push yourself too hard trying to play a character just yet. Since the auditions are only—
—a couple days away, I want you to focus on memorizing the lines. One of the biggest pieces of advice I can give you is to be prepared."
"I guess I should have figured out I was interested a few weeks ago, huh?" Craig anxiously laughed.
"Yeah, that would have helped," Tweek smiled. "But you can trust me cause I know my shit, so I'll make sure you're ready by Friday. Satisfaction guaranteed."
Tweek winked at Craig. When Tweek set his mind on something, he made it happen. Craig actually thought it was pretty ho…onorable. It was an honorable trait to have. Why was Craig's mouth suddenly feeling so dry? Strange.
Tweek tossed one of the monologue books at Craig.
"Start paging through that, see if anything catches your eye. Remember, something that feels natural. Something you can relate to."
They flipped through the books in silence. The pages sliding against each other as they were turned was the only sound they shared
Craig found a few that seemed like they could be fun to do, that could convey a lot of emotion and depth, but then he remembered what Tweek had insisted. He ultimately passed on them because they didn't feel like something that resembled Craig. Tweek flew through the other books, probably because he had read them all many times before.
Finally, Craig landed on one that seemed like it could work.
"Find one?" Tweek asked when he noticed Craig smiling.
"Yeah, I think so. It's, uh, it's about a dude who thinks he killed his friend? Like he was busy macking on some chick and his idiot friend who's also into this chick shows up and starts beating him up. Uh, then the idiot friend starts crying and the guy narrating slaps him on the back while he's trying to console him and accidentally sends him flying off the roof?"
"Oh yeah! I know that one. Do you really relate to that one?" Tweek asked. "You don't seem like the narrator at all."
"Well…that's true. This guy kinda sounds like a dick."
"I take it back. It's perfect for you," Tweek grinned.
"Fuck you, Tweek." Craig flipped off his friend while his stomach was doing flips at how cute Tweek's smile was. "I can imagine my friends as the other characters, you know? Like Kenny would be the girl that it seems everyone wants because, well, everyone in our school seems to want to bang him."
"Ngh, you have a point there."
"And crying idiot guy is obviously—"
"Clyde," they said in unison. They laughed at their shared thought.
"He just tries so hard, but he can never quite get the girl, you know? That and I could see myself somehow being responsible for him falling off of a roof. Knowing him, he'd probably coax me into doing it for some youtube stunt that he thinks will go viral."
Yeah, that definitely sounds like—ngh—Clyde."
Tweek closed the other books he'd been thumbing through.
"Alrighty. Keep that book for now and work on memorizing those lines. If you can memorize them by Thursday, I'll come over that night and we can work on giving the monologue some life."
"Mmm," Craig hummed in agreement.
"So now we're going to work on a cold reading," Tweek explained.
"What the hell is that?"
Tweek beckoned Craig to come sit next to him. They sat side by side, backs resting against the wall at the head of the bed. Craig could feel his cheeks warm up, but thankfully it didn't seem like Tweek noticed it at all. Craig's hand flinched when Tweek's accidentally brushed it with his own. He didn't seem to notice that either. Either he was too polite to bring attention to it, too distracted by the acting work, or just as clueless as Craig.
"A cold reading is when you read the script aloud without prior rehearsal or study. It's actually my favorite part of the audition. You'll usually be given a few minutes to glance through the scene so that you can get a feel for it and your character, but there's no practicing or stuff like that. You just start and work off of your acting partner."
"Which…I guess right now would be you?"
"Yup!" Tweek smiled. His smile quickly morphed into a more sinister looking smirk. "Intimidated?"
Craig did feel intimidated, but he didn't want Tweek to know that. He wanted Tweek to keep thinking of him as a cool guy. Craig leaned forward and stared into Tweek's eyes, in an attempt to look intimidating himself.
"Do I look intimidated to you?"
Tweek leaned in even closer, his gaze not backing down. He looked downright scary. Craig could feel his Tweek's breath on his cheek as he spoke. It caused goosebumps to form on his arms and neck. Tweek spoke softly, the pitch of his voice slightly deeper than normal.
"Yes, Craig. You do. You're not a good enough actor to hide it."
Craig swallowed hard. Tweek's voice right then had made him…feel things.
Tweek sat back up straight and smiled. "But we'll get you there eventually!"
Craig cleared his throat and nodded. Why did his heart have to be beating so fast?
"So let's do this scene here from the play." Tweek handed Craig a copy of the script with the lines for
highlighted in yellow. "Take a few minutes to skim through it and get a feel for the character. You'll be allowed that at the audition, so it's good practice."
Craig scanned through the lines. The scene was just two dudes talking about how their dates with women end horribly. Craig got the feeling that they were really close. Old friends who'd known each other for years. Knew everything about the other. They were able to laugh together and share the most embarrassing stories with each other. Craig smiled. This cold reading would be a breeze because Randy and Chat felt just like Tweek and Craig.
"So what's this play about anyway?" Craig asked.
"It's eight scenes with different characters in each one. They're not connected in story, just in theme," explained Tweek.
"And the theme is…?"
Tweek turned his head to look directly at Craig.
"Love."
Well, fuck. Craig couldn't deny it any longer. He was fucking smitten. Tweek's eyes, his hair, his mouth…everything was just…perfect. Clyde was right, the bastard, and he was never going to let Craig forget that.
"Cool."
Craig quickly averted his eyes back to the pages in front of him. What could he do to stop his racing pulse? He was afraid to look back over at Tweek for fear that he'd accidentally give everything away. Tweek was right—he wasn't a great actor—and Craig had a feeling he wasn't going to be able to act like he didn't have a huge crush on Tweek for much longer.
He continued to skim through the script. He assumed that the way the theme of love played out in it was that these two characters were unlucky at love and relationships. That is, until he reached a small monologue that he, as Chad, would have to read. This was it. He was about to confess his feelings to Tweek through a script. If only Tweek knew that he wouldn't be acting at all.
"You ready to start?" asked Tweek.
Craig took a deep breath and nodded.
"It's okay to still feel nervous. My advice to you with this read through is to pay attention to your voice. When we were kids, your acting voice was loud, robotic, and you sounded like you were trying to get someone's attention with every line. So with this, I want you to treat it like an everyday conversation. These are just two friends chatting. I want you to focus on your voice and try to get it to sound just like you and me are talking right now."
Craig started with his first line. It took him a few lines to get the right feel for it, but by the end of the first page, Craig felt comfortable. It really was just like having a regular conversation with a friend. It felt so normal, so natural, that when he reached the monologue, he no longer felt nervous. Everything just felt right.
"…and all I could think about was how not much in this world makes me feel good or makes much sense anymore, and I got really scared, 'cause there's gotta be something that makes you feel good or at least makes sense in this world, or what's the point, right? But then I kinda came out of bein' sad, and actually felt okay, 'cause I realized that there
one thing in this word that makes me feel really good and that
make sense, and…"
Craig stared into Tweek's eyes, trying desperately to convey what he was feeling inside.
"…it's you."
He must've looked awfully foolish, staring at Tweek like that. Tweek wasn't saying anything. He was just staring back at him with a stunned, almost sad look on his face. It was slowly crushing Craig from within. Why? Why had he wanted to be in this stupid play? Why had he even agreed to have Tweek over? Why did Clyde have to be fucking
? Why did Tweek's eyes have to be slowly suffocating Craig with rejection right now?
"Well, I'm gonna head," Tweek said after a slow, awkward inhale.
"No!" Craig cried out of desperation.
He grabbed Tweek by the arm and pulled him close, leaning in and kissing him. He held Tweek's face with both hands. The kiss was simple. Close-mouthed and no tongue. If he hadn't been able to convey his true feelings through his mediocre acting, then he sure as shit was going to convey them through this. Craig finally broke the kiss and sat back against the wall. His face was flushed red. He desperately grabbed at the strings of his hat. So much for being the cool kid.
"That—ngh—that was the next line in the scene," Tweek said. "I wasn't actually leaving."
Craig pulled down hard on his hat so that it covered his eyes, wishing it would swallow him up so he could escape Tweek's gaze. Maybe if he couldn't see Tweek, then he wasn't really there? He felt the bed shift slightly and gasped when he felt Tweek straddle his lap. Tweek lifted Craig's hat up from his eyes.
"Hi," Tweek said, grinning.
"You're sitting in my lap," Craig said, stating the obvious.
"That appears to be so."
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Craig's—a response to the previous kiss. If Craig's kiss had stated
, then Tweek's kiss was replying with
He placed his hands on Craig's shoulders and parted his lips to deepen the kiss, tilting his head to the right. Craig answered back by letting Tweek in, moaning softly when he felt his tongue glide against his own. When Tweek finally pulled back and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, Craig whined.
"You've done a real number on a good thing, here, buddy," said Tweek, "'cause we're friends, and there's a line when you're friends that you can't cross. And you crossed it."
Craig looked at Tweek with his eyes slightly narrowed. "Is that another line from the scene that we didn't get to yet?"
Tweek laughed. "Yup. I'm glad you crossed that line, though." He brushed a lock of Craig's hair aside with his fingers and Craig closed his eyes, melting into the touch. "I've missed you."
"I missed you, too. I'd say more than you know, but clearly you now know."
"Clearly," Tweek laughed. He took Craig's hands and placed them on his hips. "Clearly you became Chad there for a moment. You were really quite good." Tweek wrapped his arms around Craig's neck.
"You really think so? You're not just saying that cause we're friends?"
"Do friends typically grind against each other and make out?"
"Not really...but I wouldn't call what we just did making out, and there was definitely no grinding."
"Good point. Wanna change that?"
"Fuck yes."
They never did end up finishing the scene.
Credits:
*monologue described is "Killing Chuck" from by Gabriel Davis
*excerpts from "They Fell", Scene 5, Act 2 of by John Cariani
