"Welcome everyone to Ghoul Studies" Professor Cyprus announced, in the same enthusiastic way he always does.
I just smiled at him. He makes me so happy; his expression on his face, his beautiful hair, his sweet musky scent, even just his aurora… I was floored suddenly back into reality when he started asking people questions at random, worried he was going to ask me I flick to the back of my book, where I had recently scribbled simple one word answers. I started to study some of it when I heard my name being called.
"So, Alexandra can you tell me about the limitations of ghosts?" Professor Cyprus asked.
"Uh, um…yes." I manage to splutter out. Crap, crap, crap! I quickly exclaim in my head, and try to form words other than crap. Eventually I manage- everybody's eyes on me. It's actually funny, when people just look past you; the look just feels like nothing. However when the spotlight is on you, you feel like their eyes are piercing into you; like a snakes venom. Suddenly all the words flush out in a rush; "The limitations gho-sts uh face, is that they cannot pick ob-jects up, and they ca-nt feel, not like we do" I struggle barely to make myself comprehendible in front of him. I feel my face going a deep shade of red and slump my head down back to my book, letting my wavy brown hair cover my face. I am all too grateful that I haven't tied it up today. My hair is a brilliant cover for my magenta face.
"Very good Alexandra. Can anyone expand on that answer?" he asked the rest of the class.
A girl named Amber's hand flew straight up. Grinning and confident she answered the question:
"Well, Professor Cyprus" she started off introducing her argument. "I feel that the limitations of ghosts go well beyond those briefly explained by Alexandra" she almost sneered. "Ghosts are not just merely spirits; they have been living people just like us. For example Moaning Myrtle in the girl's bathrooms used to be a witch, just like all of us girls in this room. Sure she cannot pick up objects or be able to feel things in the same way, however she still has a most powerful weapon" Amber paused for dramatic effect. "She still has her memories intact. Clear as day, even over fifty years- her memory still remains unbroken" she said, finishing her small debate.
I turn my head around to see Amber's expression. She was sitting in the second row to the back, flanked by two of her sidekicks; Rosso and Dina. Amber had a flawless olive-skin complexion, had dead straight black hair and very dark brown eyes. She gave me a quick smirk, and then raised her eyes to Professor Cyprus who was applauding her.
"Well done Amber. A very in-depth answer and I only wish everyone could be more like you" he said smiling at her, with both of his hands clasped together, after giving a small clap.
Ugh. I hate her! I shouted in my head, although it still baffled me what could have brought on this un-subtle attack. I then turn around and glance once more time to see Rosso give her a quick kiss on the cheek and Dina patting her on the back.
Rosso was her on-and-off boyfriend. One minute there was hugs and kisses, the next he was sitting as far away from her as possible, she disgusted by the sight of him. He had a very pale complexion, light blond hair, bright blue eyes- he was the exact opposite of her. However his face was very angular which made him significantly less attractive therefore not the heart throb of the year.
Flanked on her other side, now just telling her "well done" was Dina. She was like a puppy to Amber and not surprisingly her best friend. She had brilliant red hair, which was always done up in a French bun. She had a crooked nose and light green eyes, significantly lighter than Alexandra's dark green eyes, and her skin colour was not as pale as Rosso's, but lighter than Amber's.
"She isn't that brilliant" I mutter. She just beat me out in answering a question that's all.
The class didn't drag on-it went too fast. But I guess when you are falling in love with your professor the lessons do tend to go by in a flash. This is why Amber getting praise, frustrated the hell out of me. Why can't I be like that? Confident. As I'm trying to remember the strengths that I have, that she doesn't Professor Cyprus tells us that he won't be here next week, but will leave us plenty of homework.
Why wont he be here? I start to wonder in my head. I flash my eyes up to the black board, where the white chalk scrapes perfect letters in his perfect linked handwriting. I read over it. A simple sketch of a ghost- that will entail a half an hour trip to the girl's bathroom, then I have to read two more chapters in the book Ghouls everywhere, and a further chapter in The Limitations of the Ghoul. Should be easy enough.
As the bell dongs, it makes my heart jump and my heartbeat accelerate even faster. I look down and my hands are sweating, leaving marks on the table. I quickly wipe it off with my sleeve and pack up slowly. I always try to be the last one in the class, so I can weasel out a goodbye from him.
"Goodbye Professor Cyprus" I say in a friendly enough voice
"See you in a fortnight, Alexandra" he says back in the voice that is equally as friendly. He saying my name sends warm chills down my spine, and as I duck out of class I feel flustered.
The day now does seem to drag on without him. Sure Professor Cyprus is fifteen years older than me, but that doesn't stop me from loving him. I usually have a debate in bed at night whether it is wrong or not to love him, but the phase "It doesn't matter, as long as you're happy and in love" always wins. Professor Cyprus' name, I have recently discovered is actually Ciro. Ciro Cyprus has a very nice ring to it. Mrs Alexandra Cyprus God, I'm doing it again!
The last class I have scheduled for today is Charms, taught by the respectable Professor Flitwick. I almost fell asleep, mainly because I was so bored, and we were just going over theory today, which makes me want to kill myself. Next lesson though, we get to sit in and watch the first years struggle to get their feather up in the air, with Wingardium Leviosa.
When I get to dinner time I am not in a happy mood. Discovering that Ciro was going away for a week, Amber showing me up in class, and a deathly boring Charms lesson have definitely ruined my day. So I just sit at the dinner table slowly sipping some pumpkin juice and taking small bites out of my bread roll, which I just coated in garlic butter.
I then go to the girl's bathroom, and of course it's uninhabited except for its permanent resident moaning Myrtle
Myrtle greets me in the same screeching way she always does. I tell her to just stay in my sight while I try to sketch her. And of course she doesn't. But she does strike some rather annoying poses, and after almost an hour I feel like I half created an accurate picture. Only if bloody Myrtle had stayed still, it would have taken my estimated time- half an hour.
I do finish my reading for that night and lay in bed wide awake, brooding over fantasies which are centered around Ciro. After around an hour I drift off into an undisturbed sleep.
The next week drags on and on. We have a relief Ghoul Studies Professor, which I dislike simply because he is filling in for Ciro. After the slow lesson of Ghoul Studies, in which I am getting increasingly irritated because of a certain person whom sits behind me, I feel a little depressed. Not seeing him, and I realize I was still holding onto hope that he would be there even though he said he wouldn't.
I sit in and watch around four first years blow up their feathers- even I haven't been able to manage that in Charms, but I guess there is always time for firsts. I watch Professor Flitwick fluttering around the room, distributing new feathers and ultimately trying to re teach the spell. Eventually over half of them click on, but there are always going to be the ones which are a little 'behind'.
I do my chores, try and catch up with some of my friends with some friendly chatter. I do my homework and stay out of trouble like a good student should.
I lay in bed wide awake and I know that tomorrow is going to be the return of Ciro Cyprus. I smile to myself. It's been a long week, but I have managed it- barely. Another thing I realize I adore about Ciro is that he calls us all informally by our first names, where all the others call us by our last names. I still remember in my first year my last name, Rizzo, got rhymed with all sorts of things by my class mates. Such as dizzo, pizzo and frizzo. I drift off into a happy dream, where I see Ciro…
I wake at some time around five in the morning. I am excited though, pumped even. I see Rizzo first class today. Even though it is five in the morning the thought of drifting back to sleep with my adrenaline like this almost makes me laugh. I slowly get out of bed, undoing my bed-plait and stumbling for the shower. The warm water is so good and makes my head spin less and my heart starts to slow. I should get a grip on myself, but cant. I feel like this hopeless ditzy school girl, who has got a crush on her Professor. But I know now that it's more than that- it's like invisible love; it knaws on my bones and blood, riddling my body with this poisonous love.
I take my time. Layering my hair with lemon scented shampoo, then washing it out and layering it again with the same lemon scented conditioner. I leave it in while I start on my body, and I can't find the same matching scent so I use strawberry body scrub instead. I rinse my body of all the contents I've layered onto myself. I check the time again. Only five forty five. Dang it! Ghoul Studies starts at nine, and breakfast is served at eight. I take my time getting ready, making sure everything looks neat, and spend a further ten minutes combing and drying my hair. It's now half past six. Another hour and a half to go before breakfast is served. I go up to my room and make my bed, doing something helps me take my mind off the time. I then go down to the common room and take out Limitations of the Ghoul and start to read it, and I manage to read three pages without glancing up at the clock which I am proud of. I get side tracked a little when I start to imagine myself showing up Amber, and I actually make myself chuckle a little. I read two pages of my book and then glance up at the time again. This pattern goes until eight when I am almost the first one downstairs. I grab a seat and fill my plate with some light food; grapes, a handful of strawberries and some hearty toast, with that yummy garlic butter I love. I don't feel that hungry though, so I sit there eating my food slowly. Grape by grape. Mouthful by mouthful. I am done at ten to nine, when I make my way to class. I don't care that I am the first one there. All I care about is that I get to see him. I sit always up at the front in Ghoul Studies, it's the thing I do. I am done unpacking my things, when I jump to see a newly shaved Ciro making his way hastily into class. He has shaved off that awful little beard and now I can't help imagining explicit things about him in my head.
"Alexandra, you've always been one of my best students. It reflects in your written work" he tells me
I am shocked by the comment. So I smile at him and of course I feel the magenta in my checks.
"So you should be one of the first one to know. Do you remember Professor Nicholas?" he asks
I stare blankly at him, and then shake my head.
"The one that relieved for me?" he asks his fingers now drumming on the desk.
"Yes" I say slowly.
"He is now the permanent Ghoul Studies teacher. He takes over from me effective immediately, well after this lesson" he says with a stern face.
"Why?"
"Because I am leaving" he puts it simply
I feel sick from my breakfast. I can now feel the garlic butter burning in my throat and my nostrils start to burn. I can faintly hear the bell toll on nine and the class clutters with students. It takes all my strength to keep my light breakfast down. I feel paralyzed, my heart wounded beyond repair. I have to tell him how I feel; it's the only way. I dig my nails into the oak desk and try to formulate how to say it, but it all seems so wrong. In an hour, I will either be made or broken and the thought terrifies me, but I'm not going to have regrets, oh no. In an hour he will know. He sets us all working, but I pretend to but in my head are the rehearsals. Hey, Ciro, I have had a crush on you since my fourth year. I know loves blind and I think I love you. Let's give us a go. What do you say? Sounds wrong. The lesson is gone within five minutes it seems to me.
"Everyone it has been a pleasure to know you all" he says as he dismisses the class. It's so official. Agrh. It's now or never.
I hang around after everyone has left. "Can I talk to you Ciro- I mean Professor Cyprus?" I ask my voice not strong but shaky. Feeble
"Sure, what is it?" he asks still packing up
"I've loved you since my fourth year" I say as the words rush out in a sudden burst.
My checks sting red and my heart is throbbing in my ears. I can barely hear him over my own heartbeat. He edges closer to me
"You what?" he asks as he leans over me. I can smell his breath- it's like fresh doughnuts.
"I l-ove y-ou" I stutter
He looks confused and a hard mask covers his face. His eyebrows contort into a frown.
"I don't" he says harshly. "I can never love a ditzy school girl, who can't even have a real conversation with an adult like me" he says, his words are poison, deadly.
My legs buckle as he collects his suitcase. He spits at my foot in disgust and when he is at the door, he says to me in the harshest voice I could not possibly imagine coming out of him.
"Amber. Gosh, she was great in bed and the debates we had" he closes his eyes tight and then leaves the room.
I am left on the floor; part of my leg is lying in the saliva. How could anyone be so cruel? I don't know how long I layed there all I know is that the room started filling with students and I was asked to leave.
I skip my meals and just go up to my bed and lay down face first onto it. When I lift my head, its pitch black and I see full moon, out the window which seems menacing. I force myself to get dressed into my nightgown and just manage to stomach one orange.
I let my hair drape over my face and crawl under the covers wishing for death.
It's now morning because I can see the sun glaring under my blankets, but I don't want to get up. I just lay here. I check the time only once, not like yesterday when it was an essential need to my life. Its eight thirty and my two other roommates have disappeared- gone off to breakfast probably. Just as much as I want to ignore it, my stomach growls. So I wander on down to the common room and grab an apple from the fruit bowl. I'm still in my nightdress and decide to go back up to bed. Why can't the world make it easy and just kill me now? It seems hopeless everything I do now. I know if I don't go to my classes for three days in a row, they will call on me, but right now I think a three day break would do me wonders.
My plan I have managed to salvage in my head- or what's left of my brain is; I'm going to have three days off classes which ties in nicely with the weekend. Then I'm going to try my hardest to forget what happened, and become isolated if necessary. In theory my plan has no hitches- just tell everyone I feel ill. But in practice- it's worse than I imagined. If you have cancer here at Hogwarts- take a potion and you're cured. Invisible love cannot be treated, no matter how many love potions you take, love cannot be tamed. Unfortunately. That is why I'm going to say I feel ill, so they can stuff a lot of medicine and herbs down my throat but my response is going to always be the same.
I've spent too long in bed. Devising my plan, so I go in the shower and don't even bother to scrub myself, it's like I've given up on life. Ciro was like a dementor- sucked the happiness out of me. Even his name pains me. Ciro. A cold shiver slides up my spine, I attempt to recoup orate. I switch the water off and just stand there without the water running for goodness knows how long. I can't face the outside world yet- and by that I mean people, so I go into the bathroom where moaning Myrtle lies and just drink some water and so on. I head back to the common room and have another piece of fruit for lunch- a banana this time. I go back up to bed and just sit on it, trying to still clear my foggy thoughts. This pattern continues for three days, and I think I am going insane.
On Sunday I literally force myself to a trip to Hogsmede. I just stare blankly into shop windows and continue my journey for around four maybe five hours taking in nothing. The only thing I remember doing is popping into the bar called the "Old Bucket" and ordering a butterscotch beer, and even that doesn't ease the pain. So I order five more and drink them, until the room starts to spin. I stumble my way back to Hogwarts and then my dorm and crash out on the bed instantly.
I wake at quarter past eight with a thrumming headache, as the sunlight shines I my eyes, I see black dots. I have to attend class today otherwise I am in so much trouble. Not that I care anymore, attending class can't be worse than what happened in the last week, can it?
I sit up, and wait until the room comes into focus again and start to brush my tangled hair. Eventually I give up, let it fall in front of my face and put on a new set of clothes before making it downstairs, to the Great Hall. The smell of bacon and eggs make me want to vomit. Instead I grab a bread roll and grab a glass of steaming coffee, which allows me to recover enough to see what I have first. Ok, I have Transfiguration. Not bad. I can easily slip under the radar in this class. McGonagall won't mind, if I slack off a little and yes I am totally wrong.
Firstly when I don't pay attention, she mentions my name in the middle of a sentence and shoots me a sharp gaze. The second time she almost yells at me and the third and final time in the lesson she gets me to demonstrate what she has just been talking about. This is when I curse her in my head, but am thankful that I am naturally good at Transfiguration. I just manage to turn the tiny rat into a pocket watch, then converse it back again.
My second core class for the day is Defense Against the Dark Arts- with Lupin. Defense Against the Dark Arts, has been a good class for me overall, I am naturally good at it and I do like the Professor- Remus Lupin. At least I know he won't shout at me in my first lesson back, not like McGonagall.
Defense against the Dark Arts goes by slowly, as this last week has, but I guess it would be enjoyable if I was actually paying attention. After the lesson, I make my way to the library and sit down in the seat which is in the far corner. I pick up a random book out of my satchel and put it in front of me, turn to a random page and just stare at the words, not taking a thing in. I spent an hour in there, not studying but silently grieving in my own way. Staring into space and being silent. When the bell tolls for lunch, I hear my stomach growl in anticipation. I guess not eating anything but fruit for almost a whole week is catching up on me. So I stand, pack my book away- when I notice the cover, the book I happened to have pulled out was the Ghouls Everywhere book issued to me by Ciro Cyprus. Looking at it brings back the pain instantly.
As I'm sitting down at the table, I force myself to eat one piece of food at a time. I start of with just a plain bread bun, because I am now put of the garlic butter- I can still feel the butter burning down my throat as it did, that day. I avoid fruit, because I have become sick of it. I just fill up on a small bowl of pumpkin soup and wash it down, just with a simple glass of water. My stomach feels better, my mind still doesn't. My heart- well where has it gone? Oh, right. It's been ripped out of my chest, it may seem I'm being melodramatic, but I'm past caring.
After, I have sat through The Study of Ancient Ruins; I look at my timetabled last class. Ghoul Studies. Instantly it reminds me of Ciro, and I don't know if I have the strength to enter that classroom again.
I mechanically make my way to the class, not thinking just walking with a visible blank look on my face. I feel queazy from the bread, but keep on walking. When I turn the door handle, the smell of musk instantly fills my lungs, making them burn. I walk to my usual seat and sit there, not bothering to do anything else. Professor Nicholas, walks into the room, grinning at the class, he clears his throat.
"Welcome. As you know Professor Cyprus is no longer at Hogwarts, so I will teach Ghoul Studies for you, for the remainder of this year" he announces.
"Oh, we are grateful to have you. I know a person who is mourning the loss of Professor Cyprus" Amber announces.
Chatter and whisper, fills the room about who it could be. I can't help turning around to see Amber's eyes trained on me, a smirk curling on her lips. I feel this is another personal attack on me, but how could she have known? Am I that obvious? Or...the thought terrified me. Was she in the room when I confessed my love? I feel sick to my stomach. I swallow, managing to force the acidity coming up my throat down again.
"Many people will be grieving his loss" he replied. But something in his voice said otherwise, he made it sound like Ciro was dead, or he wanted him dead…
"No. Only Alexandra" Dina chimed in.
I start to feel dizzy, and see small black spots swirling in my vision. I try to find my voice and sound strong but I only manage to croak a sentence out
"I am glad he is gone" my voice is sounding barely inaudible. I have to fix my gaze on my desk in front of me, fearing if I look around the room I will black out- which will make me look even guiltier of loving him. I should never have come to this class. Regret sinks in all too deep.
Professor Nicholas ignores this outburst and goes to carry on teaching. When he sits down at his desk, I find his eyes trained on me. I catch his gaze a couple of times, but then look away. That's when I realize he knows something dark about Ciro. The question is raised in my head, why after all these years, has he finally left? There is something wrong about all this. I have the desperate urge to find out. I have to now push my feelings aside for him; but I don't know how. He has left me scarred, I'm now like damaged goods.
After class I stand up and am about to leave, when Professor Nicholas calls me to stay behind. I catch a glance of Dino starring back at me as she leaves the room with Amber and Rosso. She is as worse as Amber. I hate her too. I turn to Nicholas, and he shuts his eyes and rubs his temples. Finally he begins "Is it true you had a crush on Professor Cyprus?" he asks.
The pain resurfaces, I can't handle discussing it, but I answer quietly. "I don't see how its any of your business. Yes I did like him. A lot." I tell him, there is nothing more to hide.
"I'm surprised he hasn't tried anything on you then" he says harshly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I can't help but ask the question
"Look. He didn't choose to leave. That's all, you may be dismissed"
I turn around and leave. I make my way to the girl's bathroom again, and vomit up my lunch. Damn pumpkin soup.
The night drags on slowly. I start to ask myself questions and they all go around in circles. I have pieces to the puzzle but they don't seem to add up right. What I do know might not even be the truth and the worse thing is I still love him. My stomach heaves as I think of his face, his smell, his very manner. I can't think I'll of him, and I still refuse too. I will never stop loving him…
Two weeks have passed, and I am seriously thinking about quitting Ghoul Studies, even though it is only once a week, I just can't concentrate. After one class I even found some fire whiskey and drank away my problems, until I woke up with another headache. There probably is some potion that gets rid of a hangover but I'm so self-consumed in my problems, I don't even care.
The pain of Ciro going lessens a little, however the curiosity of things that have been said about him does not. Ciro has appeared in my nightmares for three nights in a row now, and I even find myself seeing his reflection in puddles. This really does frighten me, I think I'm going crazy. So tonight when I have a really bad nightmare, which it features him killing someone and standing in their blood, I get up and go to the girl's bathroom. I am only in my nightdress and just let the tap water run, and wash some of the sweat off my face.
I stare at my face in the mirror, when suddenly a man's face appears out of the far distance. It's the face I would know from anywhere. Ciro Cyprus. I think I am actually hallucinating, but when I turn around there he is, and his face as menacing as ever.
He is in a balanced stance and points a wand directly at me. I realize, Im beginning to shake, and now I want someone to wake me up from this nightmare. The handsome Professor Cyprus is terrifying and I can afford to think ill of him. It's like I've been shaken back into reality. All of those things said about him finally make sense; he is no god-sent, he is here to…to…
I am too petrified to even run, or scream, I am just frozen and my thoughts become muggy.
"Hello Alexandra" he finally sneers.
"Wha- you want" I try to say strongly. I'm not in love with him anymore. He is the enemy.
"I am here for you darling. Isn't that what you wanted?" he says sweetly.
"Not now. Why are you here?" I ask, my voice is still shaky.
"Didn't you know? Well I'll fill you in. It's not like you're going to last long anyways" his voice is ice. I can feel the hairs stand on the back of my neck. When he talks again, a series of shivers run ice cold down my spine, my arms get goose bumps.
"Dumbledore, well when he found out that I had raped and murdered, about how many of his students? Ten? Fifteen? No more than twenty. He was going to kill me, so I escaped and managed to slip under the radar. I'm back here to kill you then I'm off on my killing spree again" he chuckles, his wand, now the object of my gaze.
Impossible. He could simply not have killed twenty students without the school going into lock down, or Dumbledore sending us home. Then I realize that I've been so checked out these last couple of weeks, so self-consumed, that I wouldn't have noticed.
"They all were worthless. Mostly third years" he adds
My stomach contracts. Some of the staff must have been protecting him, Nicholas; he might have unwillingly contributed in hiding the evidence, the bodies.
Without exchanging another word, he flicks his wand and the last thing I know is that he has summoned the Cruciatus Curse.
My knees buckled and I hit the ground with a slam, by head hitting the concrete bathroom floor. All I could think about was the pain, I didn't know where I was or even who I was. The pain so violent like someone holding a knife in a fire and then stabbing you a hundred times over with it. I could barely breathe, and I couldn't hear anything apart from my own voice screaming, threatening to deafen me.
Slowly the hot hundred knives started to lift. Until there was only one constant one, stabbing in my head. Slowly I managed to develop some simple thoughts and I was breathing so hard that I felt my lungs were about to burst. I got the movement back into my muscles but my reactions were too slow.
"Time to finish you off and get out of here, before someone comes" he quickly muttered.
"Avada Kedavra" his voice hissed, like a snakes.
The last thing I remember was seeing a glowing green light flash past me, and I crashed into the mirror of the girl's bathroom. Without even checking to see if I was alive, I saw him flee the girls bathroom.
I lay there, drenched in a pool of blood, glass embedded all throughout my hair. My lips cut open, and my mouth filling with a hot dark red substance. My legs and arms- battered, cut and bruised. My torso- covered in porcelain which used to be the sink. That's when I realize, I'm alive. Trying to pull the pieces together that I have actually survived the killing curse, I scream in pain. I move ever so slightly and that sets off a whole chain of reactions, I can only scream. It's like lying on a bed of spikes pricking into you from every direction, and I can't even formulate a thought or a word. Just a scream. Then utter darkness…
I still see darkness, but I slowly open my eyes to see I'm in the hospital ward, all bandaged up. I try to sit up, but it's no use, and after that I give up on trying. I lay there for what seems to be forever my just staring at the ceiling until a nurse spots me and explains to me what had happened.
"Well you were drunk to start off with" she tells me in a sickly sweet voice.
"No" I croak out. The things I remember are being in the bathroom, seeing Ciro, him telling me he murdered twenty people, hearing the Cruciatus curse being inflicted (although the pain is just a blur), and finally somehow me surviving the killing curse.
"Yes, then you probably stumbled into the bathroom. You then got your want and summoned goodness knows what spells and made a mess of the bathroom in the process of almost killing yourself" she finishes explaining.
I try to debate with her. "No Ciro Cyprus did it! He almost killed me!" I nearly scream. I sit up and the room starts to spin again. I shut my eyes tight. The next thing I know is that someone is sitting on the end of my bed.
"Hello Miss Rizzo" Professor Nicholas greets.
"It was Ciro" I whisper to him.
"No it wasn't don't you remember I was the one who found you. I saw you get drunk on fire whiskey" he says to me kindly.
"But I didn't" I protest.
His face tightens and jaw becomes rigid. "I am willing to tell everyone about your obsessed state with Professor Cyprus"
My blood becomes cold. "I have Amber and Dina, as witnesses. They apparently saw you on the day you confessed your love for him" he stands up and leaves.
I am left again paralyzed, unable to move or form words. I drift in and out of consciousness of nightmares with Ciro in them and Professor Nicholas covering his tracks. I fear that they are communicating and he is going to come and finish me off. I am quite happy to die, only if it's not by Ciro or Professor Nicholas' hand.
That's when my mind, which has been laid dormant for a number of weeks kicks into overdrive. My instinct tells me that here, in Hogwarts is not safe. Professor Nicholas is going to try and finish the job, or Ciro is going to come back. I have to get to the strong potions cupboard and get myself a strong pain killer or something fast. Tonight I'm going to escape from Hogwarts. Besides, I have nothing left here anyway. It has to be tonight there is just no other way.
The plan is formulating fast. I remember, reading about a secret underground passage that leads the way out of here and is not protected by charms. First mission, get to the Raven Claw common room, before that; get pain killers.
I sneak my way into the storage room. I lift a vile and smell it; it stinks, but I chuck it all down at once. The effects are immediate; my headache goes away and I can barely feel the pain. I grab three of the same vials and stuff them into a temporary bag, I made with a hospital sheet. I conspicuously make my way to the common room and stuff some decent clothes into a satchel. I then take the book from years being kept under my mattress and stuff it in there as well. I fill my bag with all types of fruit- making sure they don't spill on my clothes and head back to the hospital. I stuff the make-shift bag and satchel under my bed. All I need to do now is wait for night to come.
It seems like I'm waiting forever, and I am half anticipating an attack at any moment. Finally dinner arrives and I gorge myself on bread rolls, and divine luxuries like licorice wands and chocolate frogs. When I check my clock again, it's just past eleven thirty. I need to start making my move. I slowly and silently lift my two bags up and walk bare-footed in my hospital gown to the nearest bathroom. I then throw off my gown and dress in my normal Hogwarts clothes and slip some boots on. I unfold the map and then I realize the way out starts in the girls bathroom. The one with moaning Myrtle, the one I had been attacked in.
I make my way down, and I try to squeeze the memory of it out. I look at the scene, it still has my blood on it, and the smell almost makes me through up the rich chocolate I had consumed not that long ago. I find the small den, which leads to the way out when I encounter moaning Myrtle.
"It seems so frightening when you were attacked, by what's his name now, Ciro?" she asks innocently, in her high pitched voice. There! I was right, I wasn't drunk, it did happen.
I fall silent and ignore her. I then crawl; I keep on crawling what seems like forever in pitch blackness. I make my way out and check my pocket watch. I had been crawling for almost three hours straight.
I am dusty and sleepy when I finally emerge in a place I have never seen before. I find a nice place under a tree then shut my eyes and sleep, with both my bags in hand.
I am haunted by nightmares, and when I wake up Ciro is standing in front of me. I scream, but then when I look again, he is not there. Hallucinations consume me, and I feel my mind deteriorate as only one thought becomes clear. I am going to kill him.
