There are moments in life when we find ourselves at a crossroads; afraid, confused, searching without a map. The choices we make in those moments will define us. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around, to run, to hide. But sometimes, we find ourselves with a breadth of courage, and venture forth bravely into the unknown.


"I'm sorry," two words spoken by Kate that held so much emotion, but Katherine Beckett was not one too show such heavy emotion. She prided herself on her control, on fighting through the tough moments, so with only a small shake of her head, she continued on, "I shouldn't have kept secrets."

And with a deep breath, taking a small moment, Rick Castle responded, "It's who you are. You don't let people in. I've had to scratch and claw for every inch."

But those words to Kate were like a scratch and claw to her very being. She wanted to say something, try and get him to understand.

"Castle – "

"Please let me finish."

Kate paused, wanting to respond, but willing to let Castle take the lead on this. As much as she wanted to say something, all she could do at the moment was purse her lips lightly to withhold what she wanted to say, and turn her eyes towards him.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, about our relationship – what we have – where we're headed." And now it was Castle, who shakes his head slowly, gathering the courage to press forward,

"I've decided I want more"

And with those five words, Kate was knocked back. After waiting weeks to hear these words from him, after achingly coming to the thought that they may never come, Kate can only be stunned that out of all the times, all the moments they've had, that this is the time that it finally comes up. She doesn't know if she's relieved or saddened.

"We both deserve more"

Kate is still stunned somewhat by Castle's revelation; by the words and by the timing of it all, is it too late? But while stunned, these are still the words that she has been waiting to hear from him. So with a small nod, Kate presses on. "I agree"

She can say back only so little as she can feel that he has more he needs to say. And while she is listening to him, part of her mind is now elsewhere. Millions of thoughts running through her head at the same moment; the job, her home, her family, her future. It is only when she notices him moving that her full attention is redirected back to him

"So whatever happens, whatever you decide…Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?

And then her mind is playing catch up. She sees Castle with a look on his face that she has never seen before. She's seen him happy, sad, thoughtful, scared, and so many others, yet the look on his face is almost – guarded. Then she starts looking down as the words slowly float over her mind and she sees the ring in his hand and then it's at that moment when the gentle action turns into an onslaught onto her emotions, and she can only freeze. Mouth slightly opened as in disbelief, her eyes focused, yet everything else is jumbled.

As Kate's mind slowly thaws out, seemingly stuck in a moment frozen in time, the world around her continued on. And Castle took her silence as an answer to his question, and she has to react quickly as see finally notices him getting up and about to walk out of the park. The few feet that separates them now feels like miles and miles.

"Rick!"

But Castle doesn't turn around, just turns his head slightly, enough for Kate to see and hear him say "I understand, goodbye Kate."

A feeling like no other flair's in her chest after hearing him say that, and she's not about to let him get away just like that. Not after what was just said, after what just happened.

"Castle, come back here…please."

And it's the way she says please that catches Castle's attention. So determined to just walk away and let it all go, the depth, emotion, and pleading behind her last spoken word is enough to cut through to him, enough to break through his own newly erected wall and latch on. He slowly turns around to face Kate again, and he can't help but think back to a poem he once heard that is entirely apropos in this instance

Once more into the fray. Into the last good fight I'll ever know. Live and die on this day. Live and die on this day.

For Castle truly believes that not only will this "talk" with Kate be the last good fight for him, he's also aware that a part of him will die on this day when she leaves. Yes he will live on; he has Mother and Alexis to think of, and also Esposito, Ryan, and Lanie. But Kate Beckett held his heart, and with her loss, a major part of him will die, never to return. But even with that knowledge, he cannot deny Kate.

But now it's Kate's turn to say her peace. So she sits back down on the swing and waits for Castle to rejoin her. She can see clearly on his face the hurt he is in and how each step back to the swing, back to her, is like twisting the knife in a stabbed heart. He tries to hide it, and he's gotten better at that in the five years they've gotten to know each other, but just as he has learned to see through her masks, Kate is able to see through to Castle, the real Castle. But she doesn't want to prolong his pain any longer and realizes that she needs to start talking.

"They offered me the job."

And she doesn't know why exactly those are the first words out of her mouth, and she can immediately see the reaction on Castle. She didn't think it was possible for him to look more – sullen – than he was mere seconds ago.

"Kate – I – I need to go." And he makes to move as if he's going to walk away again.

"Castle, - Rick – please just let me finish."

And Castle can only resign himself to his fate, into the fray, to live and die. And he at the least owes it to Kate to hear what she needs to say. He thinks some may think him crazy to stay and listen to the person you love explain why you weren't good enough, you weren't enough, and they may be right, but after everything they've been through, Kate deserves to say her final peace. So he stays, and waits, even though each second that passes by slowly and painfully drains the life from him.

"For a long time, this job was my life - It was all I knew. Ever since my mom died, I've been afraid to let anyone in. And even when I started to get close to the thought of letting someone in, I always ended up hurt. And then you came along and it was different than ever before. It wasn't perfect, but it was – us. We had the good moments and bad moments; the difference though was you wouldn't let me run away. And then when we finally got together, it was – amazing. I thought we were just getting started, that we had so much more ahead of us. But then time went by and I started to wonder what was going on with "us," where were we headed because we never talked about it. It was as much my fault as it was yours. We were sinning by silence again and it brought back all the old fears. For some reason, we have a trouble communicating. Whether it be because of fear, doubt, or some misguided attempt at not wanting to rock the boat, we hold back. Then it kept getting brushed aside and I began to wonder if what we had was real, or if we just fell in love with the dance. I had all these questions and doubts in my head and then out of nowhere, this job offer comes along. It's a wonderful opportunity, a chance to do more. And you're right, taking this job would mean there wouldn't be time for anyone else…"

And Kate had to pause, because she realizes that this moment, this was her crossroads. Her whole life has been spent running or hiding; running from a relationship, hiding in her work, afraid to put it all on the line. But she's determined to not make this decision based on fear, she wants to make this decision on what she wants, and what she wants….is this job. It'd be a new city, incredibly challenging, but important cases; it's every cops dream. And she's been one of the lucky few to be given this opportunity.

It's with that thought in her mind, that makes what she has to say next to Castle both incredibly hard, and yet also easy.


AN: Sorry for the cliffhanger! I just didn't want to throw it all into one chapter. I know I left it on a weird part, I just ask you to trust me when I tell you everything is planned out and not to jump to a sad conclusion. Have a little faith!

I tried to grasp the emotion and feel of Castle and Beckett, in both the "Watershed" scene and what could possible transpire in Season 6. I know we were left with a lot of questions and I'm hoping that by mapping through the possible emotions and thoughts between them, that we could gain a better understanding. Part of the confusion may be in the episode showing miss-order, like in "Still" how we see Beckett mention them just getting started and now it felt like they were close to a break up.

So I hope I did it justice and feel free to leave me a review or a PM about how you think the scene felt, if you think I'm close or completely off base in their reactions and demeanor.

Thanks for reading!