A/N: So I've been working on this fic for a little over a week because I wanted to finish the whole thing before I posted it.
This is written for the lovely Zoe (finallybrittanakissed on tumblr), who wanted Brittana!Hunger Games.
Also, I just wanted to thank Erika (aryahousestark on tumblr) for helping me with ideas for the plot, and for helping me read over it as well. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!
Warnings: Rated 'T' for violence, language, and character death (Well it is The Hunger Games after all!).
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, if I did there would be a lot more nudity and a lot less Finn.
The Reaping
I was sitting on the front porch of the Berry house, my legs swinging back and forth from the bench that Rachel and I were sitting on. It was one of those mornings, warm and bright with a light breeze, those mornings when you want nothing more than to practice out in the field instead of being cooped up in the training center all day.
"So you're volunteering this year?" Rachel asked, her voice sounding unusually hollow.
"Of course I am." I shot her a curious look, what reason would there be for me not to volunteer, I wasn't sick or anything.
"Oh I just thought maybe you would want to wait another year" She shrugged.
"I'm already seventeen if I don't volunteer now I could miss my chance" I say.
She looked over at me, her wide brown eyes a shade lighter then my own "Well you know you don't have to volunteer"
What? Not volunteer?
I let out a loud laugh "Right, and while I'm at it I'll just run off and live with the farmers in district eleven"
I laughed again, but Rachel was looking at me strangely. Most of the time Rachel is easy to be around but sometimes when we're alone she says things, things that shouldn't be said, things that don't make sense, and right now was one of those times.
"It's true, you could just stay here, work in the weapon factories, or maybe even become a peacekeeper. You don't have to be in the games…you don't have to die for them"
Die? There's no way I would die. This is something good, something I want, something that I'm going to come out of. There is no way that I would die in the Hunger Games, I was too smart, too fast, and too well trained to not come out of this alive.
"Rachel I have to do it, it's what I was born to do. I've been preparing for this my whole life so there's no way I'm not going to volunteer, you know this already."
She sighed and a pained look spread across her features
"You're right…I guess."
I rolled my eyes before bumping my shoulder playfully into hers
"And besides once I win people won't call you a loser anymore, because I'll be a victor making you cool by association." I grinned.
"I don't know about that…"
"Don't know about what?" I ask
"About you becoming a victor, I mean how can you possibly win when you can't even defend yourself from someone as weak as me." Then before I could question her she hopped off her seat and shoved me hard, making me tumble backwards off the bench and onto the floor.
Laughing loudly she sprinted off in the direction of the justice building
"Better hurry up Miss Lopez or I might volunteer and become a victor before you." She called over her shoulder
I pushed myself up off the floor and practically tumbled off the porch.
"Oh you are so on my list dwarf!" I shout, before breaking into a run after her.
The next time I saw Rachel Berry was when I was standing on the steps of the justice building, waving and smiling down at her and the rest of the people from my district. I grinned brightly and looked up at the cameras, pumped full of adrenaline from the screaming crowd that was shouting my name, Santana Lopez this years female tribute from district two.
The Training Center
All eyes in the room turned to stare at Puck and I the moment we walked into the Training Center. A few shivered with excitement, some with curiosity, but most of them were filled with fear. You couldn't blame them though, they should be scared because there can only be one victor and everyone knows it's going to be me. I held my head up high as Puck and I made our way over to the center of the room where the rest of the tributes were standing.
"Well now that everyone's here we can get started." said a lean, dark skinned woman who I assumed was the head trainer.
The woman started going on about the rules of the training center and the stations we could visit but I wasn't paying attention to a word she was saying, instead I was looking around at the other tributes, finally able to see them up close and in person for the first time.
There were a few people who stood out in my mind, a tall giant like boy from district ten, a sly looking boy from district one who looked like he would stab you in the back the first chance he got, and a tall and lean girl with dreamy looking blue eyes and long wavy blonde hair.
An elbow nudged my roughly in the ribs bringing my attention back to the head trainer apparently she had finished talking and we were free to visit the stations now.
"Lets go." Puck said roughly before walking off and heading in the direction of a large rack of swords and other bladed weapons. I followed him and glanced at the weapons, looking for something I could use. I would rather be in a station that would challenge me like archery but our first priority was to intimidate the other tributes by using the scariest looking equipment. So both Puck and I picked up large swords before turning to find the line of body bags and targets to practice on.
That's when I noticed a group of four people approaching Puck, it was the tributes from districts one and four, in other words the rest of the career tributes.
I had force myself not to laugh when I thought of the title, career tributes, or better known as careers. Such a weak and simple word for someone like me, for someone who has been training for the games their whole life. For people like us the games are more then just a 'career', they're everything. I rolled my eyes before ignoring them and getting started on my own training.
Growing bored with the unmoving targets and the defenseless body bags I decided to look around the training center. I spotted the tall blonde from district four over at one of the less popular stations. Curious to what she was doing there I walked over to the editable plants station and took a seat next to her.
She looked up at me with her blue eyes and gave me a sweet smile
"Hello." she said.
I nodded in response, not wanting to be too friendly, because even if she was a fellow career, in the end I still have to kill her.
We sat there a moment looking over looking over different types of berries and plants. Most careers didn't spend too much time here, after all the plan was to get all of food in the cornucopia and ration it between the six of us and then if the food started running low we would just kill a few people off. But even though I was sure she knew this already, the girl from district four wasn't leaving the station, she was concentrating on everything the trainer was saying and even asking him to repeat things more then once
"Why are you spending so much time here?" I asked.
The blonde looked up from the handful of nuts she was examining
"Because it's The Hunger Games, it only makes sense to know how to find food for yourself." she said as if it was the most simple thing in the world.
"But we can just eat the food at the cornucopia, and we'll have a ton of sponsors" I say,
The blonde shrugged and tossed a lock of blonde hair over her shoulder
"What if there's no food?" she says.
I paused for a moment, I had never thought of that before, usually there is always food, and the years they didn't have it tributes from outline districts won and that never sat too well with the sponsors who paid good money to see us fight and win.
I opened my mouth to explain this to the girl but decided not to, because for some reason I was getting the feeling that anything I said would just go in one ear and out the other.
I stared at her a moment, taking in her lean figure and almost airy expression. I'm not sure what it was exactly but there was definitely something interesting about this girl.
"What's your name?" I ask.
You're not supposed to ask names, because names don't matter in the arena, you don't need names to kill a person.
"I'm Brittany." she said with a bright smile, and I felt my stomach do a nervous little flip at the sight of it.
She stood there waiting for me to introduce myself, but I didn't, instead I stood up and walked back over to another section deciding right then and there that I would stay as far away from this "Brittany" as I could.
The bloodbath
I stood on the metal pate, being careful not take a single step off of it, and looked around at my surroundings. The cornucopia sat in the middle of a field of tall grass that barely passed the top of my head. I stood up on my tip toes and tried to peer over it to see the other tributes, but the only thing I could make out was the huge cornucopia in the middle and the tall trees of the forest off to my left. I was still trying to see over then grass when heard a painfully loud boom coming from the other side of the cornucopia. What was it? Did someone slip off their plate as they were trying to look over the grass? Who was it? Was it that Brittany girl? Or worse was it Puck?
No, I told myself I would have nothing to do with any of the other tributes, especially Brittany. Determined to figure out more about my surroundings, I shut my eyes and tried to listen since I couldn't see anything over the grass anyways. But other then the sound of the wind it was completely silent for a few moments…
But then just as I was opening my eyes I heard it, the loud boom announcing the start of The Hunger Games.
I ran off the plate and in the direction of the cornucopia. As I pushed through the grass I focused on one thing and one thing only, getting to the food and weapons. I was about half way to my goal when I saw her through the grass, a short girl, probably about fifteen or so, she was running frantically obviously not aware of what direction she was going in. She turned and spotted me, her honey colored eyes went wide at the sight of me. My first run in with another tribute and I had no weapon. So acting on instinct I ran up to her, slamming into her body and wrapped my arms around her neck before she could get away
Twist, snap.
And then she was gone.
Without even looking back at the girl with the broken neck I continued sprinting off towards the cornucopia. Finally I came across a spot where the grass was shorter and only came up to about my knees, and there in the center of the short grass was the large golden cornucopia.
I ran up to it and glanced around, there were weapons and backpacks scattered inside of the cornucopia and area surrounding it.
I walked over to a large stack of weapons when I noticed I wasn't alone. Quickly I turned around to find my self face to face with the girl from district one, I think her name was Quinn.
"Oh it's just you" she said before relaxing her grip on the knife she was carrying in hand.
I nodded at her, we were allies so there was no need to kill each other now, not until we weeded out the weaker tributes first at least.
I reached down and started going through the pile of weapons again I slipped two smaller knives into my belt then picked up a larger sword and headed off back into the field of taller grass to search for other tributes.
I walked a good ways into the meadow when I found my second kill.
It was a boy about my age with brown hair and light skin, he was probably only a year or two younger then me. The moment he saw me he started talking in a foreign accent, I'm not sure if he was trying to negotiate with me, or just simply begging for his life but either way it didn't matter because a second latter my sword had slit open his throat and he would never talk again.
The next person I ran into was a girl with pale skin and dark black hair, I plunged my sword into her back before she even had the chance to turn around. I was about to start walking back to the cornucopia when I heard a rustling to my right so instead I decided I would make one last kill before going back to look at the supplies. I made my way through the grass and over to the spot where I had heard the rustling come from and that was when I saw her again.
She looked like a true warrior, body positioned for attack, arm raised high, and a spear in hand. Her blonde hair was billowing out behind her and her clear blue eyes were set on her pray. A small boy no older then twelve, with cuts on his face and tears in his eyes. I waited for her to drop the spear into his heart but she stood there stiff and unmoving. And then I noticed it, the hand that was wrapped around the spear was shaking and that's when I knew she wouldn't do it, she wasn't capable of killing him. A wave of fear washed over me, that small movement, that barely noticeable shake was a sign of weakness and weak people were the first to die. Without a second thought I ran up to them, Brittany had turned her head to look at me and her eyes grew wide with fear. Without saying a word I ripped the spear out of her hand and plunged it into the boy's chest. The boy fell to the ground with a cry and I leaned down and ripped the spear back out of his body before shoving the blood stained weapon back into Brittany's hands. I then gripped her shoulders and pulled her towards me so that our faces were only a few inches apart
"If they ask you killed him, understand?" I said seriously, my dark eyes locking with her tear filled ones.
When she didn't answer me right away I shook her roughly
"Do you understand me!" I yelled.
She nodded quickly and I dropped my hands from her shoulders before reaching down and yanking off the backpack from the arm of the dying boy.
"Good now lets go" I said before shoving the backpack over my shoulder and grabbing Brittany's hand with my free one.
I pulled her along with me back in the direction of the cornucopia
"How many did you manage to kill?" I whisper
"None" she admits.
"No you killed two, the little boy and a girl with brown hair got it" I say quickly because we're almost at the cornucopia now.
"I killed two" she agrees.
When we approach the cornucopia I let go of her hand and make my way over to the two piles of supplies. Most people have cleared out by now, the sly looking boy –I think his name is Sebastian– is looking through the pile of weapons and Puck is finishing off the giant boy from district ten. When we approach Quinn looks up at us from the backpack she was examining.
"How many did you get?" she asked us
"Only two, I fought another one but they got away before I could finish them off" I shrugged.
"What about you?" she points to Brittany and I could almost feel the girl tense behind me.
"Two, the twelve year old from district twelve and a girl with brown hair." She managed to get out.
Quinn shrugged
"I could only fine one, I would have gotten more but all this stupid grass is making it hard to find people" she complained as she tossed the backpack from her hands back into the supply pile.
A second later Puck walked up to us
"Man I only got one, the tall guy from district ten, he was tougher then he looked I didn't get a chance to get anyone else" He said as he wiped his sword on his jacket, smearing blood over the black fabric.
"Where's the rest of district four?" Quinn asked, looking out towards the grass.
"The blonde boy from four is making his way back, I saw him finishing a kill before I made my way back here a few minute ago" Sebastian said as he walked over and stood besides Quinn.
Puck opened his mouth but his words were drowned out by the sound of the cannons.
One, two three…
I counted them all the way to ten, ten people were already dead, that means there are still fourteen left.
"Only ten, I expected more" Sebastian said in an annoyed voice.
"Let's go hunting then, kill off a few more before it gets dark, find some water too while we're at it." Puck suggested.
"Alright, who's going to guard the supplies?" says Quinn.
It's silent for a moment, no one really wants to wait around and stand guard while the others get to have all the fun.
"I'll do it" Brittany says, speaking again for the first time since Quinn asked her about her kills.
Sebastian looked over her with a criticizing gaze
"Are you sure you can handle it by yourself?" He asks.
He's not worried about Brittany though, he's worried about the food and weapons.
"I'll stay with her" I shrug, purposely not making eye contact with Puck because he knows me well enough to know that under normal circumstances there was no way I would want to stand and guard a pile when I could be out fighting with the rest of them. But he's either to excited to get going or he just didn't care because he doesn't say a word against it.
"Alright let's go grab the blonde boy and find us some tributes to kill." Quinn grins before walking off towards the forest, the rest quickly moving to follow behind her.
Then once again we are alone.
We stood there a few moments in silence before I can't take it any longer and I speak up.
"Why didn't you do it?" I say
Brittany looks over at me with a curious expression
"Do what?" she asks.
"Kill him" I have to resist the temptation to roll my eyes because what else could I be talking about.
She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear before staring down nervously at her feet.
"Because he was just a baby"
What? He wasn't a baby, sure he was young but he was old enough to fend for himself, he was only five years younger then me.
"There are no babies in the arena, there are no people either, just obstacles in the way of our goal." I say before plopping down to sit next to the smaller pile of food.
Brittany walked over and took a seat besides me, pulling her legs up against her chest before speaking in a soft voice
"We're all people, we all have families and friends and maybe even lovers. We all have people who care about us and people who love us. So when you kill someone you're not just ending one life, you are also ending the lives of everyone else who loves them"
And that it…that was the moment when Brittany turned from an obstacle in the way of my victory, to a person who lived and breathed and loved, and that's when I knew I was doomed because I could kill an obstacle but I couldn't kill a person.
The Alliance
It was the fourth day of the games when everything changed. We had been doing the same routine for a while now, everyday we'd go out hunting for tributes in pairs. Two went into the forest, two stayed guard, and two went into the east side of the arena –which was nothing but rocks and cliffs- to check for any tributes that could be hiding in caves. I made sure to get paired up with Brittany every time, I had lied and said that we fought well together because she was fast and I was strong so there was no way any tribute would get away from us. Brittany still refused to hurt anyone, so I continued lying and giving her credits for half of my kills. We had all split up into our groups to go hunting, and Brittany and I were once again left to guard the supplies.
"I'm thirsty." Brittany said.
It was hot, hotter than usual today and we didn't have any water left at the cornucopia because Puck and the tribute from district four –I found out his name was Sam– had promised to bring some back from the forest today.
"Well you have to wait till Puck and Sam get back" I said as chewed on some dried fruit.
"You know they won't come back till later tonight, they always take the longest to hunt because they always choose the toughest tributes to fight." She argued.
It was true, they always didn't come back till hours after the rest of us had already returned for the night and when they did come back they were covered in bruises and cuts and their weapons were soaked in blood. But there were only nine tributes including ourselves left there was a good chance that Puck and Sam wouldn't even come back.
"Okay, let's go get some water." I say.
I stand up and offer a hand to Brittany, she takes it and pulls herself up next to me.
"What about the food?" she asks.
"There are only three other tributes who could take it, and they're probably hiding as far away from our camp as they can" I shrugged before grabbing my sword and a backpack with some food.
Brittany and I started making our way to the forest when she spoke up again
"What are you going to do when the alliance is broken?" she asked.
I shrugged and pushed my way past the end of the meadow and into the beginnings of the forest
"I'll head off on my own, find somewhere to camp then kill anyone I run into" I say simply.
Brittany moves even closer to me, so close that our arms are almost brushing against each other as we walk.
"What about you? Are you just going to hide out and hope we all kill each other off so you don't have to do it?" I ask, trying my best to sound like I could care less about what's going happen to her after the alliance it broken.
"I'll probably use these" She pulled a small leather pouch out of her shirt
"What's inside of that?" I ask, looking at the thing. The pouch hung around her neck from a long string, it was brown and as big as my fist and easily hidden inside of her shirt.
"Nightlock" she says.
I'm confused for a moment, before I remember where I heard that word before.
In the edible plants and berries station in the training center, the same station where Brittany had spent almost all her time at.
Nightlock, a poisonous berry that would kill you just seconds after consuming it.
I feel my breath catch and my chest tighten
"So you're going to try to poison everyone?" I ask weakly, knowing that not what she's going to do. If that was her plan there would have been no way she would have even shown me the pouch in the first place.
She looks at me sadly, blue eyes soft and almost misty looking.
"Yes Santana, that's my plan" she lies.
I nod, trying to keep my face as unreadable as I possibly can because here in the games emotions are nothing but a sign of weakness.
"I see." is all I say before I start walking again, Brittany trailing a little further behind me this time.
We walk in silence for a few more moments before we hear a scream.
The moment we hear it we both take off in the direction, not bothering to worry about why exactly someone would be screaming.
We ran in the direction of the sound and then that's when we see it…
Sam crumpled on the ground with a sword buried deep in his chest, a large sword identical to the one I was carrying, Puck's sword.
The alliance is broken.
My first instinct was kill, kill them all, kill everyone but the sound of Brittany's sob breaks my thought. She is standing behind me, her eyes wide and full of tears, Sam was from her district and his death is something that she clearly cannot handle.
I should kill her, no one would blame me because the alliance was off the moment Puck plunged his sword into Sam, but for some reason I cannot.
I grab Brittany by the arm and shove her back into a cluster of berry bushes, she falls into them with a small shriek but once she's down she's completely hidden from view.
Brittany's small shriek is what gives our presence away to Puck, he looks over in our direction from where he's standing above Sam's dying body.
I quickly clamp my hand over my mouth, making it look like I was the one who made the noise.
"Santana" he says simply, before pulling his weapon out of Sam
I raise my sword to him
"Puck, impatient as always" I say,
He laughs and for a second I am reminded of the days when we were younger, when Puck, Rachel, and I used to play together in the school yard.
"Well I knew it was always going to come down to the two of us, I just didn't think that it would be so soon" he says,
The cannon booms, and Sam is dead.
"Eight left" he says
"Seven" I say before rushing at him and swinging my sword.
He blocks of course, the clink of metal on metal filling my mind with flashbacks of long hours training together with him back in district two.
He swipes at me but I block him, I lunge at him but he moves too quickly, he comes at me again missing his mark but cutting me slightly in the arm.
"You're quick, but not quick enough" He teases me, just like he has countless times before.
Flashes of more memories pass through my mind.
No I do not care about him, he does not matter, he is not important, he is an obstacle, and if I do not stop him he will kill Brittany.
And for some reason that last thought motivates me more than anything and I swipe my sword at his leg and he's not quick enough to block the move.
Blood pours from his calf and he stumbles to the ground
"Goodbye Noah" I say before sliding my blade across the soft flesh of his throat.
For a few moments there is a terrible gargling noise coming from him, but then he falls silent.
The cannon booms.
I stare down at his body for a moment before I do something completely unexpected, I double over and start to vomit.
The smell of blood and throw up makes my stomach clench and I continue to vomit. I am trying to control myself because all of Panem is watching me but I can't, all I can do is wait for the heaving in my stomach to stop.
I feel a hand stroke my back and I look over to see Brittany standing behind me with tears in her eyes. We hold eye contact for only a second before I start to vomit again.
After my stomach is completely empty and the dry heaving has stopped, I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and stand up straight.
"Let's get go find that water" I said simply.
I walk over to Sam's body and pull his backpack off of him, before opening it up and searching for anything of value.
"I'm sorry Santana" Brittany says softly, as if she is talking to an injured child. The tone of her voice immediately makes me pull up all of my defenses.
"Yeah you should be sorry, if you hadn't shrieked like a little girl I could have just stabbed him from behind, now I had to patch up this cut on my arm." I say in a bitchy tone.
I try to push down all the emotions that are struggling to bubble up inside of me
"He was from you're district" she says.
I pull a bag of crackers and a canteen from Sam's bag and shove it into my own pack before tossing the rest of his stuff on top of his lifeless body.
"Santana, please say something" she says, and this time I can't hold back anymore.
"What do you want me to say Brittany!" I shout.
She flinches at my words but doesn't back down, as a matter of fact she takes reaches out and takes my hand.
I yank my arm away from her
"What are you doing?" I glare at her.
She reaches for my hand again this time gripping tightly so I can't pull away as easily.
"You're upset." She says locking her eyes with mine and I don't like it, I don't like the feeling they give me, like I'm drowning in them.
"I'm not upset ok, why should I be upset? There is no reason for me to be upset. I've killed before, I've killed plenty of people. So why should it matter? Is it because I knew him, because I grew up with him? Or because he was my friend?" My voice cracked on the last word. Oh no, this wasn't good.
I remember back during the reaping, how surprised I was when Puck volunteered, He had told me and Rachel that he wasn't going to volunteer till next year.
Rachel…
The thought of her sent a fresh wave of emotion through my chest.
She has seen the whole thing, she watched me kill the boy who has been one of her few friends. I wonder if she hates me, I wonder if she will ever be able to forgive me.
I know she won't.
And that's when the tears come, spilling from my eyes and blurring my vision.
I open my mouth to make an excuse, but before I have the chance to say anything Brittany is wrapping her arms around me.
That's when I lose it, I drop my sword and cling onto the fabric of Brittany's jacket.
She holds me tighter as I sob into her neck. I am shouting things, but no one can understand me because my words are indistinguishable between sobs. I fall to my knees and Brittany tumbles down to the ground with me. Still holding onto me, she starts to whisper sweet words into my ear in an attempt to calm me down.
We stay like that for a few moments until Brittany's sweet words start become stern. It takes me a moment to register what she's saying.
"I know you're upset but we have to move so they can collect the bodies." she says.
Reluctantly I stand up and let her pull me by the arm away from the area. We walk a good distance away from the place where I ended Puck's life.
When we are far enough from the bodies she wraps me up in her arms again, but I have already stopped crying.
"I'm sorry" she says.
And I do not snap at her this time, instead I just nod.
"We should find the water" I say before pulling out of her embrace.
"Yes" she agrees, and we start making our way through the forest, knowing that we will not be returning to the cornucopia any time soon.
We find running water after about half an hour of walking, so we wash up and fill our containers with it the clear liquid before drinking our fill.
I wash out my mouth quite a few times before I start drinking
"I wish I had some tooth paste" I complain,
Brittany laughs brightly, and I can't help but smile back at her.
Her eyes shine when she sees me smiling and I feel myself blush slightly.
I cough awkwardly and turn around quickly before she can see it, but it's too late she had caught it and now she's smiling even brighter then ever.
We found an abandoned tent that must have belonged to another tribute before they were either killed or took off once they realized that the careers scouted this area. We share the tent that night and I do not object when she reaches over for me in the middle of the night to wrap her arms around me.
The Look-A-Like
The next two days were strange as Brittany and I sat around our new camp and tried to come up with some sort of plan now that there were only six of us left –another tribute had fallen the day after Puck and Sam's death-. I knew Brittany had no intention on winning but despite that she continued to help with the plan. It wasn't until the third day of being alone with her that I realized it was because she wanted me to win. On the morning of the third day our food was practically gone so we were searching the forest for something edible.
"What about theses?" I say as I pull a handful of berries from a bush.
"I don't know, but I wouldn't risk eating it" She said examining the pink colored fruit in my hands.
"Well let's keep looking then, it's either this or go back to the cornucopia." I say, tossing the handful of berries onto the ground.
Brittany stiffened at the suggestion, I knew that she didn't want to go back to the cornucopia, because that would almost guarantee running into another tribute. I wouldn't have minded, but Brittany didn't want to see me kill anyone else so I agreed to stay here with her instead.
We took separate paths hoping to maybe cover more ground and find something edible faster. It felt weird being alone, even if it was only for a short while. I was so used to Brittany's presence that being by myself made me feel uncomfortable, which is something I shouldn't be feeling because I needed to get used to being alone.
Ever since the first night Brittany and I have been doing everything together, eating, planning, and even sleeping. We didn't even bother having someone take watch during the night anymore, because neither of us could get any sleep unless we were wrapped in the others arms.
I walked for another five minutes before I came across a large pond. I was still a bit far from it, but from this distance I could automatically tell something was wrong. There was no life in it, no plants, no pond lilies, nothing. The color of it was strange too, it was much too clear for unmoving pond water. And that's when I saw her, a girl with long blonde hair standing over the pond with her back facing me, Brittany.
"No!" I screamed, knowing that I wouldn't make it in time to physically stop her.
Brittany had a container filled with purified pond water and was pressing the opening to her lips.
But even though I screamed she acted as if she couldn't hear me and started gulping down the tainted water.
I ran towards her hoping that maybe she could still make it, I could have her throw up the water up or maybe she didn't drink enough to harm her.
But I was too late
The moment I reached her Brittany's body started shaking and she toppled over to the side and that's when I saw her face….
And it wasn't Brittany.
The girl didn't look anything life Brittany at all, her eyes were brown and her hair was straighter and a shade darker then Brittany's golden blonde.
I stood there shocked and unable to move when the cannon boomed signifying the death of the unnamed blonde.
"SANTANA!" and ear piercing scream sounded from somewhere off to my left.
But I didn't acknowledge it because fear is still coursing through me, fear so strong that I'm unable to move or speak.
"SANTANA!" Brittany screams again, she's closer now but I still can't move. I can't even take my eyes off the dead tribute laying at my feet.
I hear someone run up to me but I don't bother turning around, I don't bother reaching for the sword in my belt, I am completely defenseless.
But then someone throws themselves at me, strong lean arms wrapping around my waist and clinging onto me as if they were scared I would disappear.
"I thought it was you." Brittany says as she holds me even tighter.
She's warm and solid and very much alive, and for the first time since the girl drank the water I feel like I can breathe again. That was the moment I really understood just how much I wanted her- no, needed her alive. How much I needed to protect her and keep her safe, and even though I tried to convince myself otherwise, how much I actually cared about her. Then before I can stop myself I am pressing my lips against hers.
The moment I do this I regret it immediately, I cannot be having these feeling, I can't be having any feelings towards anyone because in the end only one person will leave this arena alive.
I try to pull away but Brittany pulls me even closer against her, and then she is kissing me back.
I'm taken back for a moment, but then I give into my instinct and tangle my fingers though her hair.
Nothing matters, not the games, not my growing need for food, not the Capitol, nothing. The only thing left in my world is Brittany, the feel of her lips against mine, the pressure of her arms wrapped tightly around my waist, just Brittany. And I know in my heart that nothing else will ever matter to me again.
Eventually our lips part but we don't let go of each other, we stand there silently trying to catch our breath.
I am about to pull her towards me again when her body stiffens in my arms.
"What's wrong?" I ask, pulling back from her slightly
"Did you kill her?" She asks, looking down at the dead girl on the flood besides us.
"What? No I didn't, I freaked out because I thought she was you." I say, and I feel her whole body relax at my words. There's a question that has been bothering me for a while now
"I don't understand, if you can't kill, if you won't kill, then why did you volunteer for the games?" I ask
Brittany sighs and drops her arms from my waist.
"Because I wanted to prove something to the people of my district" She admits.
"Prove what?" I ask, she obviously isn't trying to prove that she can win, because the bag of Nightlock around her neck says otherwise.
She looks down at the body of the unnamed tribute with a sad expression in her eyes.
"That there is no glory in killing. That even though I'm not the smartest or the strongest and even though I know I won't win, I am still the victor." She looks back up at me and her blue eyes are shinning with determination.
"I will not kill for them, I will not play by their rules, and even though I am stuck in a place as deadly as this arena, I will not let them turn me into a monster. I'll make fools out of all of them, show all of Panem that the Capitol can be out smarted by a stupid girl from the fishing district and even if I die, everyone will know in their hearts that I've won."
I feel like the whole world has gone silent at her words, at least all of Panem has. The wind has stopped blowing and all the birds have gone silent at the sound of her voice, and in that moment Brittany has never looked more like a true warrior. Even when she was standing above that boy with a spear in her hand and the wind blowing her hair out behind her, even that moment was nothing in comparison with this.
"You're not stupid." I say,
And the look of determination falls from her face and she looks taken back, as if that was the last thing she was expecting me to say.
"I think you're a genius." and I do.
Brittany flushes bright red and smiles shyly at me
"And you're not as bad as you think you are." She says.
I open my mouth to respond but then a flash of something silver catches my eye.
A parachute floats to the ground besides us
"Our sponsors sent us something." I say quietly.
Why now though? Why would they send us something now when Brittany just revealed the greatest weakness of all, refusal to kill.
I scoop up the package into my arms and take Brittany's hand with my free one.
"Let's get out of here before they come to collect the body."
And we leave the pond and make our way back to our little tent where we open the gift.
It's bread and oysters from district four.
"I think you proved your point to them." I smile.
We eat in silence the only sound during our meal is our chewing and sound of the cannon going off twice.
We hope it's the rest of the Careers but I know we won't be so lucky.
That night when the anthem plays it shows the faces of three fallen tributes, the girl who drank the pond water, a boy with curly hair from district seven, and a pale boy with blue eyes.
"Only four left" Brittany says
"Sebastian and Quinn, I can easily overpower them both but we have to be careful because they're both extremely smart." I point out.
Brittany is looking at me with a sad expression and I know what's coming before she even says it.
"I don't want you to kill them." she says.
"I don't want to either." but in the end I know I will.
She looks at me as if she knows exactly what I'm thinking, so I reach out and take her hand in mine in an attempt to comfort her.
We kiss again, and just like the night before we sleep in each others arms but now it's different, more intimate and I can't help the sickening feeling rising up in me because I am constantly reminding myself that in the end there can only be one victor.
The Final Four
We had to go back to the cornucopia, there was no other choice. We had no food, and the animals in the forest were too fast to catch and kill with a sword. So despite Brittany's protests we had to go back.
The closer we started getting to the meadow the more nervous I began to feel.
"If we run into Sebastian or Quinn I want you to turn around and run as fast as you can" I say,
Brittany nods and squeezes my hand even tighter.
We reach the meadow and Brittany has to crouch forward slightly so the top of her head doesn't show over the grass.
We reach the clearing and we're by the side of the cornucopia when I see Quinn, she's standing guard by the pile of supplies and her back is facing towards us.
I look around for Sebastian but he's no where to be seen, he must have gone for water, or out looking for us.
Or worst case scenario, he could be hiding farther back inside of the cornucopia, but that's just a chance I'll have to take.
I take a step closer to her, Brittany just a few inches behind me. Quinn is thin and not nearly as strong as I am, I could easily go over there and knock her out without hurting either of us too much. I could kill her too but I wouldn't do that in front of Brittany, not after all she said the other day.
I take another step forward and that's when I see it, hanging dangerously from her right hand, a large metal mace. I and remember the days back in the training center, her swinging that thing around like it was nothing and that's how I know it is no longer safe here for Brittany.
"Run" I whisper, and I hear her sneak back into the tall grass.
How did Quinn get a mace? There was no mace in the weapon pile when I got there and I was the first tribute to arrive at the cornucopia wasn't I? I try to remember exactly what had happened that day.
Quinn was the second person to get there, I saw her arrive myself didn't I….
Then I remember.
I was digging through the pile of weapons when she showed up with a knife in her hand. She had already gone through the pile of weapons before me, she must have grabbed a knife and the mace and went back to hide it somewhere in the meadow.
Sneaky little bitch
I take another step forward, accidentally stepping on branch.
Quinn spins around at the sound and for a moment we both just stand there staring at each other before she breaks out in a run towards me.
She's approaching me fast, mace swinging from her hand, I pull out my sword to block it when the spiked metal ball comes flying towards me. It's too fast for me, Ill never block it in time, so instead I brace myself for the impact that never comes … because Brittany has jumped out in fount of me.
The head of the mace slams against her shoulder…my Brittany, my sweet and strong Brittany, the girl who refuses to kill anything screams in pain as the spiked ball crashes against her.
And I lose it.
I yank Brittany by her uninjured arm and pull her behind me.
Quinn is swinging the mace again but I knock it to the side with my sword. The head of the mace is heavy and it sends vibrations down my arm when it collides with my sword.
She swings again and the spiked ball slams into my arm in the exact place where Puck had cut me with his sword a few days back.
White hot pain explodes in my arm and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from calling out in agony. I will not let her know she is winning.
Brittany however doesn't seem to have the same idea because she is screaming for me to run, but of course I don't listen.
I swipe at Quinn and she's not quick enough because my blade slides across her chest. She yelps and jumps back, before quickly looking down at herself. She is bleeding and it has to hurt, but is not a fatal wound.
I lung at her again but she moves out of the way before I can cut her.
"You won't get me twice." She snarls.
"You're right, I'll get you a lot more then that sweetie." I say before swinging at her again, but she blocks my sword with the chain of the mace.
She takes a few steps back before she attacks again, I knock the head of the weapon away with my sword like before but this time the vibration that travels down my injured arm makes me scream out in pain.
"Bitch" I spit out.
She swings again and the mace hits me again in my injured arm
I scream out and my arm drops limply to my side and I am unable to move it anymore.
I hold the sword with my uninjured arm and I point it threateningly at Quinn, if it weren't for the adrenaline rushing through me I would have probably passed out from the pain.
She knows she's won now and a smile spreads across her face.
"Whoops did I break something?" she says in a sickeningly sweet voice.
When I don't respond she laughs loudly and raises her arm in attack, but instead of trying to block it like she's expecting me to, I swipe my sword at her legs and the blade cuts deep into her shin. She drops her mace and falls to the ground screaming, her legs unable to hold her weight anymore.
"Gotcha." I say before I raise my sword to her throat
"STOP!" Brittany screams and yanks my arm back away from Quinn.
"Let go of me!" I say, as I pull my arm out of her grasp.
"You can't." Brittany says frantically.
"What do you mean I can't? This bitch ruined my arm!" I scream, lunging forward towards Quinn.
Brittany grabs by my bad arm and I yelp before dropping my sword to the ground.
I am about to open my mouth to yell at her but she beats me too it
"Fine, kill her too, just like you did Puck." She says, eye burring with tears and anger.
And few those words hurt more then a thousand hits from a mace.
I look back at Quinn who is staring at us with wide and fearful eyes and I wonder if she has someone back home who loves her like Rachel and I loved Puck.
"Fine, she's going to die from the blood loss anyways" I say before picking up her mace and throwing it out into the meadow, I don't want thing anywhere near her, even if she can't walk.
I reach down again and pick up my sword before attempting to clean the blood off of it with only one hand.
"She's going to die." I say, and everyone knows it's true.
The blood pouring out from her leg is staining the grass around her.
Brittany looks down at Quinn for a moment before she walks over to the cornucopia and pulls out backpack filled with first aid stuff.
She shoves the bag into Quinn's arms.
"When we leave go ahead and call for Sebastian." She says
Quinn looks over at me for a moment, as if this is some sort of trick, but I just scowl at the bleeding girl.
Brittany walks back over to the piles and grabs a two packs, one full of food and another full of medical supplies.
"Call him." She says to Quinn before taking my hand and pulling me back into the meadow with her.
"Sebastian!" Quinn shouts weakly, and when we do not jump back out of the grass and attack her she screams again, this time much louder
"SEBASTIAN!"
Brittany is pulling me in the direction of the forest but I stop her
"No wait I want to see this" I say before making my way to the edge of the meadow.
I peek though the grass and see Quinn on the ground with the pack filled with medical supplies still in her hands
She screams his name about four more times before a tall figure comes out of the other side of the meadow.
His bow is drawn and he is pointing an arrow at Quinn.
"Is anyone else here?" He asks, when she shakes her head he relaxes and slides the arrow back into the sheath on his back.
"If no one's here then why are you screaming my name?" he snaps at her
"They were here I fought with Santana but she ran away with Brittany back towards the forest."
"She escaped." he raises an eyebrow as he walks up besides her.
"No, they let me go" She admits.
And that's when he looks down at the blood stained grass around her.
"You're injured" he says simply.
"No shit, now help me up" she snaps at him.
Sebastian leans down towards Quinn and she wraps a hand around his shoulders for support. He pulls her up and takes one long look at her wounds and then before she can register what's happening he pulls a dagger out of his belt and sinks the blade into Quinn back.
Brittany opens her mouth to shriek but I shove my hand over her lips. Even though it would be two against one, I am in no shape to fight again and Brittany wouldn't kill someone even if her life depended on it, which it did.
Quinn screams out in pain pulling the dagger out of her back before shoving her back down to the ground.
"Worthless thing." he spits at her before turning around and heading back into the meadow in the same direction he had come from.
We wait a few minutes to make sure he's gone before I pull my hand back from where it was covering Brittany's mouth.
We make our way back to Quinn, who's struggling to breathe and is lying in a pool of her own blood.
Her eyes flutter open and she looks up at us
"Kill…the bastard" she barely manages to choke out.
And then the cannon booms and we know she is gone.
"I will" I say out loud.
Brittany doesn't try to talk me out of it, but I know she won't have anything to do with it either.
I'll have to do it on my own.
"I'll go with you" she says,
And I almost think I've imagined the words.
"What?" I ask.
"To kill him, I'll go with you. I won't help, but I'll go with you because I don't want you going by yourself" she says.
I nod before taking one last look at Quinn before we move out of the way so they can collect the body.
Once Quinn is lifted up into the air and carried away we walk back to the cornucopia
"Here let me fix your wound up first and then you can rest for the rest of the day, we'll go after him tomorrow alright?" she says.
"Alright" I agree.
The True Victor
The next day I woke up later then usual, Brittany was already up and eating from a pack of crackers.
"How long did I sleep?" I ask as I pushed myself up with my good arm.
The cornucopia looked a lot bigger now that it was just Brittany and I sleeping here.
"I'm not sure, but you were out for a while." She said as she hands me the bag of crackers.
"You should have woken me up sooner." I say, before stuffing the stale salty food into my mouth.
"You needed rest."
I sighed, because even though I didn't want to admit it, she was right. Quinn really did a number on me last night and I needed all the rest I could get.
Brittany had looked over my arm last night and did her best to clean it and bandage the wound. It was painful and incontinent but thankfully it wasn't fatal, the spikes on the mace were blunt because they were meant to inflict pain more then injure. But even though Brittany had fixed me up as best as she could I still couldn't move my arm, something important must have been severely damaged.
After I finished eating I stood up and stretched out before picking up my sword and shoving it back into my belt.
"You want to go after him already?" Brittany asks, a nervous expression on her face.
"You don't have to come with me. You can just stay here, I'll be back soon." I say before making my way out of the cornucopia.
"No I'm coming with you." She jumped up from where she was sitting and quickly followed after me.
We walked through the meadow and into the rocky area of the arena, we weren't as familiar with the land here as we were the forest. Back in the early days of the games when we would go hunting for tributes Sebastian and Quinn would scout this area, so this was his territory not ours.
"Stay close to me." I said, suddenly nervous for Brittany's safety
We looked around for any sign of Sebastian or his camp, but it was hard to find tracks when the ground was nothing but rocks and boulders.
"Maybe we should split up?" Brittany suggests,
I think about the last time I let her out of my sight, how I almost had a heart attack thinking she was the one who had drank the pond water.
"No." I say firmly,
Brittany rolls her eyes and shoves her spear out in front of her
"Just because I refuses to kill doesn't mean I can't fight. This isn't just for show I actually know how to use this thing, I mean I am a career after all" she says, and I know she's right. But no matter how quick she is with a spear she's no match for Sebastian's arrows out here. This part of the arena was open and free of trees; Sebastian could easily hide behind a rock and send an arrow in any direction without it getting blocked by anything.
"No, there's no way it's too dangerous" I argue.
But Brittany just stands straighter and looks me in the eyes
"I can take care of myself." is all she says.
And I know there is no arguing with her, this is the girl who is defying all of Panem, there is no way I could force her to listen to me.
"Fine, but don't go too far and call for me if anything happens okay."
And then we are walking in opposite directions and I can't help but glance back towards her every few seconds. I have a sickening feeling in my stomach but I know that it's just my nerves and I need to get over it.
I continue searching for any sign of Sebastian when I see a smear of dried blood on a rock. The blood is too old to be Sebastian's, it must have been from another tribute a few days back.
I'm still examining the blood when I hear it…
A rumbling sound coming from the direction where Brittany was headed. Before I even have time to really think about it I break out into a run back to where I know Brittany is.
"Brittany!" I yell.
That's when I see it, Rocks tumbling down from the higher ground, and I start to run faster, trying to avoid the falling stones as I go.
"Brittany!" I call out again, and this time I get a response
"Santana!" She calls back, her voice is clear and loud but I can hear the fear in it, and know something is wrong.
I keep running, almost tripping over stones as I go, but I don't care, all I care about is getting to Brittany.
And then I see her, She's on the ground and her leg is twisted out at an odd angle in front of her.
I don't know if she was hit by falling rock or if she fell off of a bolder or what, all I know is that her leg must be broken and I know we are doomed.
You can go on without an arm or a hand, or even an eye or an ear but not a leg, because legs are needed for running and if you can't run in the arena then you are already dead.
There is no way I'm fighting Sebastian now, I need to get her out of her, carry her back to the cornucopia then I'll come back her myself later.
I am just a few feet away from her now and the moment she catches sight of me she reaches out her arm towards me. I copy her, extending my arm and we are so close now our fingertips are almost touching and then it happens…
An arrow whizzes through the air and sinks into her throat.
The scream that rips through my throat is almost inhuman. I tumble to my knees in front of her and my working hand is hovering awkwardly just above her wound.
What do I do? Do I pull it out? Do I leave it in?
I look at Brittany and her eyes are wide and filled with pain and panic.
"I don't know what to do, how do we stop the bleeding!" I shot, hysteria bubbling up inside of me.
Brittany looks at me and the panic leaves her eyes and is replaced with a sad look, she takes my good hand in hers and gives it a gentle squeeze, and that's when I know there is no way to save her. Tears are pouring out uncontrollably from my eyes and I want to scream again but my body is not responding. Blood is pouring faster out of her wound and I feel helpless and useless and broken.
"Please don't leave me" I say,
And then she takes my hand and lifts is to her lips, the kiss is gentle and chaste and when she pulls her lips away instead of letting go of my hand she places my palm over her heart. The loving gesture sends a wave of pain through my own heart. I am sobbing loudly and I am spitting out words of reassurance, telling her it's going to be ok and that's she's not going to die, telling her lies.
She makes a choking noise and presses my hand harder against her chest, I am confused for a moment but then I feel it, a small unnatural bulge under my palm, the pouch of berries. When my eyes go wide with awareness, she smiles sweetly and takes her other hand and places it gently on the side of my cheek. We stare at each other for a moment before she lets out another choking sound…and then another…and then another…and then her eyes start to flutter and roll back into her head
"No no no stay with me come on stay with me" I beg,
But it is all in vain, because she makes one last choking sound and collapses in my arms.
The cannon booms, and I am screaming.
Screaming Brittany's name, screaming for her to come back to me but it is too late, she is already gone.
Pain.
Pain like I've never felt before, pain a thousand times worse then the unforgiving spikes of Quinn Fabray's mace, or the jagged blade of Puck's sword. All of that is nothing in comparison to this.
It feels like someone has squeezed my heart until it exploded in my chest.
No, even that would not hurt as much as this.
I am weeping uncontrollably and clinging to Brittany's body as if there is still some life left in it.
And that's when I understand.
The words she spoke to me during our first day in the arena ring through my mind,
"We're all people, we all have families and friends and maybe even lovers. We all have people who care about us and people who love us. So when you kill someone you're not just ending one life, you are also ending the lives of everyone else who loves them"
Is that what I've done? Did that boy, the little one whose neck I snapped, did he have someone who loved him? A mother, a sister, maybe even a cousin? Yes, he must have. And what about the brown haired girl, or the one with black hair, or the boy with the accent….or Puck, yes Puck he had people who loved him. He had a mother, and sister, and even a string of lovers back in district two. Yet I had killed him, I ended his life even though I knew that it was wrong. I think of Rachel, when I killed Puck did she feel like I do now? Lost, alone, and sure that nothing in the world will ever make me happy again.
I am disgusted with myself, I am not a victor nor will I ever be, the blood on my hands tells me that much.
I am nothing but a murder.
I am the very monster that Brittany tried so hard to not become. The crushing sensation in my heart is back but I do not deserve it, I do not even deserve to feel something as human as sadness. There is no way I can undo what I've done, there is no way I can pay for all the lives I've stolen.
Or is there?
I look down a Brittany's beautiful but lifeless body, and I know, I know what I have to do.
I reach inside of her shirt and pull out the pouch of Nightlock, I stare at it a moment before I hang the string around my neck, just like Brittany had worn in all this time. I know the small bag is light, but around my neck if feels like it weighs a tone.
I do not open the pouch now, not yet, because there is one more thing I have to do first.
I take a deep breath before I lean down and kiss Brittany's lips one last time
"Goodbye" I say softly, before standing up and reaching for my sword.
I am disgusted with the thing, with the piece of metal and steel that helped me end the lives of so many people.
I toss the weapon to the ground besides Brittany and then I walk away so they can collect the body of my lover, and the weapon that she must have hated.
I walk a few feet before I remember that Sebastian must be close by.
What didn't he shoot me? I was sitting there for a good while, not even bothering to protect myself from an attack, so why didn't he shot me too?
Because that was his last arrow.
I look around for any sight of him, but I see none. The arrow came from the higher ground so without a second thought I start climbing the rocks.
It's awkward doing this with one hand, and I slip quite a few times, but it doesn't matter, nothing matters anymore, nothing other then getting to Sebastian. Its not a far climb, so as I reached the top in no time. I look around again, and that's when I see him.
He is standing by the west edge with a dagger in his hand, the same dagger then he shoved into Quinn's back.
"Where's your sword sweetheart?" He grins at me, and the sight of his smile makes me sick.
"I threw it away." I say,
The smile falls of his face for a second, and he looks confused.
"Why would you do something stupid like that?" he asks,
I don't bother answering him, instead I move closer towards him.
He takes a step back and points the dagger towards me.
"Come any closer and I'll kill you." He warns.
How stupid, he's going to try kill me anyways. I take another step closer and raise my working arm
"Go ahead try and stab me, I'll break your neck before you can even get close enough" I say,
And my voice sounds so angry, so venomous, that I can hardly recognize it.
"So this isn't a suicide mission." he grins.
I still don't respond, I just walk even closer to him
"I thought that maybe you were so upset over the girl that you wanted me to end the pain for you" he says.
Still, I do nothing but move forward.
"I thought that's why you threw away your sword, that's why you came up here without a weapon, so you can join that dumb blonde in hell." he spats,
And his words send a wave of anger through me, so I leap forward and punch him across the face. He swipes my bad arm with the blade and the pain brings back the memories of Puck's word against my skin…Puck who I loved like a brother, Puck who I killed.
What am I doing? What's wrong with me? I've been so caught up in my loss of Brittany that I almost did what she had been fighting so hard to prevent.
I freeze and look at Sebastian, his eyes wide with anger and madness. I know there is no reasoning with him, and I know that I cannot kill him, so I fall to my knees in defeat.
He stares at me for a moment before asking "What the hell are you doing?"
"I won't kill you." Is all I say,
This murderer, this monster like me does not deserve any further explanation, so I don't give him one.
"You're weak!" he shouts, laughter bubbling up in his throat.
"You can't even do it, you can't even kill me, even after I sent an arrow into that girl's throat!" he laughs again and takes a step back to get a better look at me. He laughs at the sight of me, kneeling on the ground, weaponless, defenseless, and all around worthless.
"Pathetic." He says, and then he is raising his dagger and I know that he is going to kill me.
He goes to take a step forward but his foot catches on a loose rock, and he falls backwards.
But he does not fall backwards onto the ground no, because those few steps, those few steps backwards he took just so he could look over me and laugh have driven him too close to the edge of the cliff.
And so he falls from the high ground and smack into the rocks below…
But the cannon doesn't go off, and I know I still have time.
I stand up and look over the edge at his body, he is bleeding from his head and I know that he will die soon.
I tear my eyes from his body and I look up towards the sky.
It's one of those mornings again, warm and bright with a light breeze, exactly the same as it was on the day of the reaping.
I think of my conversation with Rachel that day
"You know you don't have to volunteer"
But she was wrong because I did have to, because in the end this is what I was always meant for.
I think of Rachel, poor Rachel, who had to sit by and watch her two friends fight to the death. Who had to sit by and watch me turn into something horrid.
I wonder if this will make up for it, if what I'm about to do now will show her just how much I regret what I've done.
And then I think of Brittany, my sweet beautiful Brittany, who even in death stood by her morals.
I wonder if she would be proud of me.
The cannon booms and I know what I must do, and I know that I must do it quickly.
I rip the berries out of the pouch and I shoved the whole handful into my mouth and swallow.
There is only a few seconds left, a few seconds before the berries will take my life.
And in those few seconds I think…
Even though I have lost and even though I am dying, I have never felt more like a victor.
And then everything goes black.
The End.
A/N: Thank you for reading! And if you have any questions about the fic feel free to ask me on my tumblr, the link is on my profile.
