A/N: General boredom led to me picking up the shuffle challenge. That is: Music player on shuffle, 10 songs, drabble for each one of them and you only get as long as the song goes. Sounds easy enough, right? Well, that's what I thought. Ready... set... go!
This is as raw as it gets by the way. All the editing and grammar checking I do if I still have time left on the song. Any discrepancies, errors or any other nitpickery is totally my fault for not checking it over enough. Apologies.
1: Sick Puppies – My World
He sighed as his fingers traced over the photograph he kept with him at all times. He had remembered the contours of her face a long time ago, but at the same time, he wanted to be reminded. Of what, he wasn't sure. Heartbreak, that was for sure. But then, wasn't he used to it all? Wasn't he used to everyone he ever met leaving him to fend for himself? So far, everyone that he had met and considered friends had used and abused him for their own gain.
Well, that wasn't really fair. Morgan and Ellie loved him unconditionally, that much he knew. But what about the other people? What about his dad? His mom? Bryce and Jill even? Did they just not care at all?
He sighed as he clenched the photograph in his hand, the one of him, Jill and Bryce standing on the quad, smiling at the camera. Before everything went to hell.
He ripped the picture apart, and watched as the two halves fell to the floor. He lay down on his bed and drew the comforter over his head. He'd get over it tomorrow. Really.
2: Katatonia – Burn the Remembrance
While he didn't particularly have high hopes for the kiss, he was still devastated to find out that she didn't instantly remember everything about them. Even more so when she said that she knew there was something between them, but that she needed time to figure it out. To figure them out. He wanted to reply with the fact that they were married and that they had figured it out quite nicely, but he bit his tongue.
"It's not permanent," she said, before she gently bit her lower lip in consternation and he could almost believe her.
"Sure," he said, putting on a fake smile. "I'm going home. Are you going to be okay?"
"Yeah. I'll just crash in my hotel. I'll call you tomorrow, I promise."
She did call the day after, and they talked, and at times it seemed like he had his wife back, but whenever he made a reference to a moment earlier in their lives, she would react confused and he knew that she saw it as his life, rather than theirs.
But while he had been close to losing hope during his two-and-a-half year dance with her, the almost painfully long stretch of will-they-won't-they that they continued to play, he refused to give up.
"I might have to report you for stalking," she said as he showed up in front of her hotel with chocolate croissants. But a smile was peeking through.
"Yeah, well, I figured that if we couldn't restore your memories, I could at least attempt to recreate them... or even make new ones."
Her eyes flicked from his lips to the bag of pastries he was holding. She waited a beat, before snatching the bag from his hands. "I think I'd like that."
3: Shinedown – If You Only Knew
The comforter refused to provide the comfort that it was supposed to give. Rather, she instinctively patted the spot next to her, looking for her husband to snuggle up, but she couldn't find him. Her mind played over the silly arguments they had, that were blown way out of proportion. Her hotheadedness had a frustrating tendency to make her blurt out the exact wrong thing to say.
Of course she wasn't alone in the stupidity.
Chuck carried some of the blame too. He too, could be incredibly foolish. Like he had done this time. He refused to trust her when she said that she would help him with saving Ellie and like an idiot he had ran in alone, without backup and she had almost lost him damn it. She looked at the clock. It was four a.m. She had told him she didn't want to see him around the house for a while, so she could cool down before they did something they would regret later on. Like a sad puppy, he had taken his pillow to the living room. It wasn't great, but it was better than him sleeping next to her.
But she was regretting that now. She sighed again, when she heard a soft knock. "Sarah, can I come in?" She grumbled, but he came in anyway. "Look, I really am sorry." She motioned him over and silently he slid into bed and crawled next to her. She wasn't done with being angry, but his apology was a start.
4: Trapt – Wherever She Goes
"I really don't think this is such a good idea. Classical? Yeah, I'm down with that. I've got you to make me look good. But this whole clubbing thing you have your mind set on? Yeah, that's really not my style."
"I know, Chuck. Just, don't worry about it, okay? Basically, just grind your hips against mine in a vaguely rhythmic pattern and we'll be fine."
The club's music was pounding, and Chuck felt the vague uneasiness of a massive migraine coming up. But Sarah's laugh was sparkling and he couldn't say no to her. Not that he was very interested in trying that, but it would've been nice if he could.
Still, being plied with alcohol and having a smoking hot woman grinding against him, did help with his self-esteem, even if he did look like a white version of Carlton Banks. And he did take a small amount of satisfaction from the envious glares from the male patrons. Not enough to be noticeable, but his inner caveman was appeased.
When they left the club, Sarah was still smiling and she linked her arms through his, before lying her head on his shoulder as they made their way to the car. "Next time, can we please go do something a little less terrifying?" he asked. "Like defusing a bomb or getting into a knife fight with five ninja assassins?"
She batted her eyelashes at him and he knew that it didn't really matter. He'd follow her everywhere anyway.
5: Fireflight – Forever
She knew why she was nervous. The fluttering of butterflies were definitely part of having cold feet. But who could blame her? She grew up, knowing that everything she had was going to be taken away from her at one point or the other. A conman for a father and a mother whom she had forsaken so that she could go with her dad.
And now she was about to make the biggest commitment of her life. Bigger than pledging her life to the greater good. Because the greater good was a vague notion, an idea that was implemented in young, moldable minds to make sure that they would behave like good little agents in the field. No, marriage was bigger than that. It was forever.
"Chuck. Promise me one thing. That whatever happens, you'll never stop loving me, okay?"
He smiled and kissed her on the nose. "Easiest promise I'll ever make. Trust me."
And she did.
6: Anathema – One Last Goodbye
Shocked, he sat on the stairs of the house with the red door, staring at a spot that only he could see. He had always dreaded this day. He loved his life with reckless abandon, but he knew, that one small part of his mind would never let him forget, that it would end one day.
She had died. He didn't know how, it just happened. Not a bullet, but a disease was what finally did the strongest woman that he had ever known, in. People milled around the house the entire day, speaking comforting words to him, but he didn't respond.
They buried her on a sunny afternoon and when he went home, surrounded by his children, he was lost. And when he went to bed that night, they joined him. And he knew that they all dreamed of her. Her scent still hung on the pillow next to him. In his sleep, he was sure that she was next to him and that she had hugged him, holding him in her arms. But when he woke up, all he was left with was the afterimage that was burned into his mind of her next to him, beaming as they held their children.
He got up, cleaned himself up, made sure the tear-stains were well hidden and went to make pancakes. With blueberries and whipped cream. Just how she loved them.
7: Coldplay – Talk
If there was one thing that John Casey, USMC disliked with a passion, it had to be vocalizing his thoughts. Which made his current habitat less than appropriate. A charge that could be ranked as the most inane talker of all, a co-worker who was breaking rules left right and centre and then pleaded with him to make sure that whatever happened didn't make its way up to the brass and worst of all... the idiot's best friend.
The bearded idiot, as Casey had lovingly dubbed him, had to be the biggest idiot walking on a planet full of idiots. None of the chats that Morgan Guillermo Grimes ever had appealed to Casey in the slightest. Which was a damn shame, considering the fact that said moron had decided to make Casey his personal BFF.
"Hey Casey, wacha doing?" the bearded buffoon asked.
Casey's mind pictured the things he loved most in the world—death, destruction, bullets, guns, Reagan and of course Hot Pockets—and channeled all the violence into one grunt. Morgan shrieked in fear and backed off. "I got it, I got it, no talking to the Casemeister. That's fine. I was just about to... Chuck!"
He turned tail and ran off, but ran into a customer who fell back into a DVD rack. Casey allowed himself a rare smile. That had felt good.
8: In Flames – Alias
CIA agents were trained to never show their emotions. To always hide behind a mask. Everywhere she went, she had a set cover-story in place that would make sure that whatever she did, it wasn't her doing it, but rather someone else.
That was mainly the reason that she was so surprised when someone actually made an effort to get to know her. But then, she already knew this guy was different. But that didn't matter. To do her job, she would have to keep him at length. He couldn't see the real her, because that would be paramount to the mission. And a failed mission was what Sarah Walker, CIA officer extraordinaire hated the most. Yep, that was the reason that she had to keep him away from her at all costs.
And if she kept telling herself this, eventually she'd have to believe it.
9: Sonic Syndicate – All About Us
"Have you ever noticed how literally every bad guy in the western hemisphere seems to be gunning for me?" Chuck asked.
10: Red – Start Again
Slowly she started remembering again. But where did she draw the line? Where could she without a doubt say that she was in love with him again? Had she not simply lost too much? Had she not changed too much for him to even contemplate this? If his lips were any indication, the answer was a resounding no.
And when she released him and sucked in a glorious breath of fresh air, filled with the scent of the ocean, she looked out over the ocean and ran all those thoughts through her head once more. But Chuck took her silence to mean something different.
"Sarah, I know what you're thinking and that's—that's a lie, I have no idea what you're thinking. I can't imagine what you're going through, to find that you're married to someone that you don't even know, but please don't give up on this so easily. Trust me, I'll make this bearable for you. Whatever you need, just tell me and I'll make sure you get it. Please, just trust..."
"Chuck, shush," she said and she turned to look at him. She grabbed his hand and linked hers with his before turning back to the sea. "I think that... I think that we can start again."
A/N2: Hope you enjoyed.
