Who I Am
Ahhh…a
nice, little, depressing (sorta) fic about one of my most fave characters:
Trowa! ^_^ Me love Trowa!
Trowa:……-_-()
TP1-chan:
What? I do! ^_^
Anyway,
I've been feeling a little lost, myself, so I thought, who better than the
Nameless One himself to put in this fic!
Heero:
Hey! Wait a minute! I thought you loved me!!! *pouts*
TP1-chan:
Don't worry, Hee-kun, *pats him on the back* I love you, too…
Heero:
Good. ^_^
DISCLAIMER:
*sigh* If I got a quarter for every time I said that I don't own Gundam Wing,
I'd be able to buy the company
itself!!! (Oh, and I don't own the small song lyric insert; the GooGoo Dolls
do. But I do own the minor character from Trowa's made-up past!)
~And
I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause
I don't think that they'd understand.
When
everything's made to be broken,
I
just want you to know who I am…~ GooGoo Dolls
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
A
silent, 17 yr-old boy stared out of the window of the plane. The war was over.
Their mission: completed. Excited voices were heard behind him as the four
other gundam pilots celebrated their victory. Still looking out the window, he
tuned in on their conversation.
"I
can't believe it!" said a hyped Duo, "We did it! And look!"
He
pointed to the feast that had been left for them by servants on their private
jet.
"Free
food!" he and the other pilots helped themselves to the buffet. All except
Trowa, whose only focus was on the wispy clouds that vanished as they sped
through them.
Quatre
was the first to notice the absence of the silent one. Always the friend, he
walked over to Trowa's seat.
"Trowa?"
he asked, "Would you like some food?"
Trowa
didn't look away from the window.
"No,
that's okay. Thanks, though."
Quatre
shrugged.
"Okay.
We'll save you some, just in case," he turned around and walked back to the
table where the food was quickly disappearing.
Trowa
continued to stare, wrapped up in his own thoughts.
A
few minutes later, the plane touched ground.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That
night, a banquet was thrown in their honor.
"God,
I hope Relena's not here…" Heero muttered as they entered the great hall where
the banquet was being held.
Applause
and cheers accompanied them as they made their way to the table on the stage at
the end of the hall. Much to Heero's disappointment, Relena was awaiting them
at the other end. She herself stood up to clap for them as they took their
seats. She gave a short speech on her appreciation for their accomplishments,
and then everyone was seated.
When
the food came, everyone dug in. Everyone, that is, except Trowa. He just sat,
staring at his food as it began to grow cold.
"Hey,
Trowa!" called Duo, who was sitting two chairs down from him, "You gonna finish
that?"
Trowa
shook his head and passed his plate to Heero, who then handed it to Duo.
"Thanks!"
he started wolfing it down.
"Trowa?
You alright?" asked Heero.
"Yeah.
I'm ok." He continued to stare at the table.
"You
seem a lot quieter than usual."
Trowa
just shrugged.
Heero,
giving up, went back to eating his food.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
After
the party, the heroes went to a hotel, where they were to spend the night
before going to their final destination.
"Goodnight,
everyone!" said Quatre, as each went to his own hotel room.
He
was answered by three 'goodnight's and a slight nod.
Trowa
set his things down and shut the door.
Finally, he thought, alone at last.
He
quickly changed out of his clothes and into some boxers. (AN-Trowa in
boxers….hanyaan…n_n) He stretched out comfortably on his double bed and yawned.
It
had been a tiring day, what with the plane ride, banquet, and all. He sighed.
Why does life have to be so confusing?
All
the other pilots had something to do, after the war. Wufei was taking that new
job as a Preventor, Heero was going off on some unknown mission, Quatre was
going on space explorations, and Duo was doing God-knows-what in America. They
all had places to go, all had purposes for their lives.
All
except Trowa.
He
didn't know what to do with his life. Or what was left of it. All his life,
he'd been raised as a solider. Fighting was something that came natural to him,
as natural as breathing. But now the war was over. There wouldn't be any more
fighting for a long time. That much he knew.
So
what was an ex-solider to do? I guess I
can go find a job… he half-smiled to himself. Yeah, I can see it now: experience-fighting, destroying, hacking;
previous jobs-piloting a gundam in an intense war. What a resume that would be…
He
sighed. What am I going to do?
Restless, he got out of bed and went into the bathroom. He stared at himself in
the mirror.
Who am I? I
mean, who really am I? I know I don't want to be in the circus business for the
rest of my life, but what else is there? He exited the bathroom, and
went over to his suitcase. From it, he took an old envelope, creased and worn
with age. Sitting down on the bed, he opened it, carefully.
A
dried rose, whose petals were close to powder, and a folded piece of paper were
extracted. Trowa held the rose delicately in the palm of his hand.
"Kyra…"
he whispered, tears forming in his eyes.
A
voice from the past, a face never forgotten, haunted him ever since that
fateful day…
~(Flashback)~
"No
Name! Wait up!" the 10 yr-old daughter of an esteemed general ran up to an 11
yr-old Trowa.
The
boy whirled around in response to his title.
"Yes,
Kyra-san?" he asked, "Does your father need anything from my Master?"
She
smiled and shook her head.
"No.
I just wanted to talk to you, that's all…" she smiled again.
The
boy stood there, confused. Why would she
want to see me? As if reading his mind, the young girl spoke.
"Actually,
I wanted to say goodbye. My father's getting relocated tomorrow, and I wasn't
sure if I'd ever get to see you again. I'm lucky the general let me off." Her
smile saddened.
"Oh."
Said the boy known as No Name, "I see."
The
two stood there, awkwardly, for a second. Kyra was the first to break the
silence.
"Umm…here,
I want you to have this…" she reached into her pocket and pulled out a rose and
a letter.
No
Name took them, surprised and a little confused.
"Thanks,
I guess…" Why do I feel like this? My
face is getting all hot, and my pulse is racing above my target heart rate!
What's going on?
Kyra
blushed.
"Your
welcome," she checked her watch, "Oh! I must go! The general expects us to be
packed before 1400 hours! Sarabada, No Name, I hope we meet each other again,
someday…"
She
smiled her sad smile at the nameless boy, then pecked him on the cheek before
running off to her camp.
No
Name just stood there, shocked. A girl
had just kissed him! Wait! He
thought, Am I…enjoying this? Oh
Kami-sama…what's going on with me?! He stood there for quite a while, just
thinking about Kyra and staring at the rose and the letter she had given him.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The
next evening, No Name was called aside from dinner.
"No
Name," said an older officer, "I'm sorry, but we've just been informed that
General Tra's plane was shot down by enemy mobile suits, shortly after their
take-off this afternoon. I know you were friends with his daughter, but both
she and the general did not make it. I am sorry."
No
Name just stood there, taking it in. Kyra…is
gone? The officer left, running off to deliver the news to his general. The
boy's knees felt weak, so he grabbed a chair and sat down.
Why?! She was
just here! She just… he brought his hand up to touch his cheek on the spot where
she… NO! I won't believe it! She can't be
gone! She can't!!!! But he knew
it was true. He knew that she was gone…forever…
From
that day on, the young boy's life changed. He threw himself into his training,
becoming the best fighter his age. He dedicated his time to learning the
complex systems of computer. How they work and how he could use them to the
best of his advantage. Anything to forget the pain he felt over losing her…
I will fight.
I will kill the evil scum that killed her. I will stop at nothing to avenge her
death. Her memory will not be forgotten. She will have not died in vain. Kyra…and for the
first time in his life, he wept…
~(End
Flashback)~
A
tear fell on the rose's dried surface, adding moisture to the dead petals.
Kyra…You're
the only one who ever understood me. The only one who ever cared about me, not
just my ability as a fighter. He read her letter again, although he
knew every word by heart. It was filled with her happy, joyful, yet listening
and understanding spirit. She had said that she'd never forget him, no matter
what happened to either of them.
She
had told of her love for him.
Duo, Quatre,
Wufei, Heero…all those guys…my friends. Yet, do they really know me? Do they
really understand me? He shook his head. No.
No one could ever understand the real me. They don't see my true mission in
life. Not to fight, or kill, not to obey orders, my true mission is her…to
avenge her brutal death…
His
fist clenched at his side as the anger, still present after six years, was
re-kindled inside of him. WHY?! KYRA!!!!
He screamed out in his mind to her. Even though he knew she wasn't here.
Gently,
he re-folded the letter and placed it, along w/ the rose, back into its
envelope. After putting it back in its spot, the hidden pocket in his suitcase,
he climbed back into bed, stretching out again.
As
sleep crept up on him, he knew what he was going to do with his life. He knew
what she would want. She would want him to be happy, and the only way he could
be happy is with her. He smiled, knowing he would join her, soon.
"Kyra…"
he whispered, before falling asleep, "ashiteru…."
~I
just want you to know who I am…~
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
AN-
*sniff,
sniff* Aww…what have I done?!?! TROWA!!!!
Trowa:
Chill, TP1-chan. It's just a story, I'm still here!!
TP1:
Oh, yeah…^_^() Sorry, I get carried away sometimes…heh heh…
Trowa:
'S ok; at least I know someone cares
about me…
Trowa
fans: We care about you, too, Trowa!!!
TP1:
Hey! Back off!!! He's mine!!!!
Trowa:….eeps…-_-()
Hehehe…^_^
So, what'd y'all think? Kinda depressing, I know, but I fits the mood. Sorry
about the past thingy I made up; I'm not sure if it's accurate. If it isn't,
don't hurt me, please. *sigh* I'm too tired to write anymore, now, so R&R,
onegai!!! ^_^ Ja!
Trmpetplaya1
(trmpetgrl1@icqmail.com)
