I paced around my house in the victor's village of District 12, as I won the 69th games, waiting for word, any word at all. My 4 ½ month old daughter was in her swing in the living room. It had been awhile since I've heard from my husband. I had only taken to him only once since he was taken to the capitol when he interfered (the wrong way) with Gale Hawthorne's punishment. And that was back in March, not long after our daughter had turned 1 month. It was June, and in the next month, it would be time for the reaping again. A knock soon came at my door to reveal Purnia Reed, a peacekeeper who also happened to be a close friend of mine.

Purnia was also part of the rebellion, and she chose a dangerous job because she didn't care if they killed her or not, they had killed her lover, and she says it's not the same without him and I'm beginning to know how she feels. I let her in and we sat on the couch. "I have some news." She said.

I put Emmie's pacifier in her mouth. "Purnia, please don't tell me that my husband is dead." I said.

The peacekeeper shook her head. "No, Darius is alive, but Brooke, the capitol made him into an Avox." She said softly.

My tears escaped my eyes and I tried to wipe them away. Purnia hugged me. "Hey." She said. "At least this way, there is a very small chance. It could be worse. He could be dead." She said.

I considered that for a moment. It's true, at least he's alive, and the capitol hasn't killed him. Yet. But I knew Darius, and I knew my husband would rather have been given death than being silenced, it went against his whole personality.

She pulled out an envelope and handed it to me. "It's from Darius. They granted him this one last request." She said. It wasn't too much longer before I got a call from Peeta, telling me to turn on the television, as President Snow was making an announcement about the Third Quarter Quell.

I did so, and then I sat on the couch, feeding a bottle to Emmie, watching just to see what this man had to say about the games. I despised this man with a passion.

He said that this year's tributes would be picked among the living victors from previous games. My mouth hung open and my eyes grew wide, while Purnia stared at the screen. "Did he just say-?" I asked and she nodded. She stood up and gave me another hug, as she had to go.

"Don't worry; I don't think it'll be you. Snow isn't as mad at you, he is at Katniss." She said, and with that, she left.

It was just after supper and I had just given Emmie a bath in the kitchen and wrapped her up in a towel when I got another knock on the door.

Haymitch, Katniss and Peeta, who had been my tribute last year, came over for a visit. I let them in and Peeta closed the door behind them. "Brooke, it's been decided that if you're reaped, then Katniss will take your place." Haymitch said. I looked at her.

"Are you sure?" I asked and she nodded.

"Yes, you have a baby who needs you. It's partly my fault that she doesn't have her father, she don't need to lose you too." She said.

"Katniss, Darius did what he thought was right, even though he went about it the wrong way. I don't blame you for what happened to him, and you shouldn't either." I didn't dare to mention to them that he was now an Avox, but I would tell Haymitch later. After they left, I put my daughter to bed, but I couldn't sleep, so I poured a warm cup of tea and went to sit by the fireplace in a chair and then I suddenly remembered Darius's letter. I picked it up and took the letter out of the envelope.

Brooke,

You must know by now that the capitol has made me an Avox, considering I had Purnia to give you this, since she said she was going to update you on everything. If I knew that they were going to do this to me, I would have not interfered with Hawthorne's punishment, though I should have been a little bit more professional about it. Now because of that, I left our baby without a father and you without a husband; I took myself away from you. I just ask that you tell Emmie that daddy loves hers and always have and always will. I really miss you right now and I hope you can forgive me. I love you.

-Darius

I folded it up and put it back into the envelope. His handwriting brought me comfort, but overall, it made me cry. I couldn't believe that he thought that I blamed him for getting himself taken away, it wasn't his fault, if anything, it was the fault of the capitol. Above all, I couldn't wrap my head around him being an Avox, the very last words that he ever spoke to me (granted on the phone, but still, his last), were "I love you."

I sighed. The next few weeks were pretty busy. Peeta and I had Katniss and Haymitch training pretty hard, I was excluded for several reasons, and I helped with coming up with other strategies of keeping them all fit. Haymitch also advised me to pack important stuff with me before the reaping. And I knew exactly what he meant.

We may never ever come back to district 12 again. The night before the reaping, I packed some clothes in my duffel bag and some other stuff that I would want with me and then my daughter's clothes and stuff in a larger duffel bag. I packed the legal and important stuff/documents in the diaper bag which also doubled as my purse. I also packed my husband's stuff in as well. I had no clue where we would go during the rebellion, or where Darius was, but if they somehow managed to save him, he would need those documents, as he was originally from District 2.

None of the officials would say anything to me about all the stuff I had, including the equipment (the stroller, swing, pack n'play, high chair) as I had an infant with me, and as cruel as some of them were, they had kids themselves too.

I went to bed and slept as much as I could, but the nightmares started up again, and it had been doing that ever since they took Darius from me. The next morning, I showered and dressed in a pair of skinny jeans, dark gray flats, and a white flowy dress top and a long chain necklace, as well as the token I had for my games, my mother's locket. When my hair dried, I pulled my long wavy white-blonde hair into a high messy bun as I didn't feel like messing with it today. I put my bracelets on, as well as my engagement/wedding rings set on my left ring finger, I didn't usually take them off, but I did yesterday to wash dishes.

I went into the nursery and changed Emmie in a white sleeveless dress with pink and green flowers with matching sandals. I tied a green and pink floral bow into her red hair. She had Darius's red hair and my blue eyes, instead of his green.

I placed the bags and stuff at the door, but I kept the diaper bag with me. I placed a pacifier in Emmie's mouth and held her against my hip. A peacekeeper came to get those bags and stuff to take to the train and then I walked to the Justice Building.

I couldn't get over Effie's metallic gold wig as I bounced Emmie in my arms, they (the peacekeepers) had graciously decided not to point their machine guns in our direction as not to scare my baby, but they pointed them at the citizens of district 12. It was very hot and sultry and Effie was taking her sweet precious time in picking a slip of paper from the girl's bowl.

Today, she lacked her usual verve as she pulled out and called Katniss's name and then moved on the boys and pulled out a slip with Haymitch's name. He shot us an unhappy look, but as fast as his name was called, Peeta volunteered.

Then the peacekeepers marched us into the justice building and Purina joined me. "Thread is making me accompany you guys and then I come back." She whispered. They crammed us all into a car and then to the station where they ushered us into the train and slam the door as the train started moving.