If you were one of the few people who read this fic when it was called Couldn't Be Happier, I changed the name because of AnOreoForElphie's fic of the same name that was published just days before this. No changes to the actual story have occurred.
Fiyero stared at his Captain's jacket laid out on the bed.
Glinda had told him nothing. He hadn't even noticed the note until he woke up. He imagined it had been there for longer, but when he staggered through the door in the wee hours of the morning, hung-over, he had barely made it to bed.
All that the note said was that Glinda wanted him to meet her in the Emerald City's main square at noon, and that he needed to be presentable.
Since he was the newly appointed Captain of the Guard, Fiyero figured he may as well wear his uniform. But looking at it he was reminded why he was the Captain. And he was reminded of her.
Elphaba.
She had been gone from his life; from the lives of everyone for three years now. And Fiyero could not remember any three years ever going by as slowly as these had. Every minute seemed like an hour, every hour a day, every day a month and so on, each clock-tick an agonising reminder of how dissatisfied he was with his life, now that she was gone.
He didn't even know what had happened that day. She had jumped on the train, bound for an overnight stay in the Emerald City to meet the Wizard himself, with Glinda as her impromptu companion. Both girls left with hope for fame and fortune, or at the very least a good time to look back on.
But only one girl had stepped off the train the next day. And it was then that Fiyero realised just how much the girl who wasn't there meant to him.
He liked to believe he'd have said more if he knew that would be the last time they'd see each other. He liked to believe he'd have done more.
The last words he'd said to her were good luck. He wished her good luck for Oz's sake! Well, she certainly didn't get it. He wouldn't be here, staring at this stupid jacket if she had.
She said she thought about the day they rescued the Lion cub a lot. He did too. He was always thinking about her, that day in particular.
He had been very surprised that day. He didn't know why the girl no one wanted to be associated with had turned to him; the person she had no problem calling a brainless layabout, when things got out of hand that day. The fateful day that had changed it all.
He was even more puzzled as to why he helped her. Now he knew why, but he hadn't back then. It had not been simply because she was Galinda's friend. But, before he knew what he was doing he had grabbed her hand and they were running. Far away, into the deep dark of the forest. He still remembered the cage banging against his leg, while she shouted at him to be careful.
She was a talker; that much was clear. But he'd also known that before she'd hexed their entire history class.
By the time they had found a place that seemed safe Fiyero was wondering if this girl ever let anyone else talk. She was so confident and self-assured, she probably didn't need his help. And now that they were away from the university, he figured she would actually want his help even less.
But when he began to leave she called out to him that she did want his help.
As she touched his hand.
Time stood still, just for that moment, while their hands were joined. It was like an electric current passed through them, melding their handprints together. He could still feel her hand in his, as clearly as if it were happening right now, just by thinking about it. He had never felt that way before when he had touched a girl's hand. And he had touched a lot of hands of a lot of girls.
When they broke, she turned her attention back to the cage. She was so gentle with the cub, worrying over not only its physical, but also mental wellbeing. Fiyero couldn't remember ever seeing anyone show this level of caring for another living creature. Why did people have such a problem with this girl? She was smart, prickly and misunderstood, but she clearly had a strong, kind heart. Beneath her green exterior, she was no different from any other girl.
When she turned around to face him, he saw her looking at him with a worried expression on her face. She raised her hand to her cheek, motioning for him to copy her.
He did so; when he drew his hand away there was blood on his palm.
"It must have scratched you" she stated.
"Yeah," he said. "Or maybe it scratched me."
She extended her hand towards his face.
Automatically, he flinched back, out of her reach. He wasn't repulsed at being in her presence like everyone else would be, but for some reason he wasn't comfortable with her touching him. Not here, anyway.
"Well, I'd better get to safety," he stammered. "I mean the cub. Get the cub to safety."
He focused all his energy on grabbing the needed to get out as quickly as possible. He didn't see her begin to follow him, and then stop herself as he rushed off, leaving her alone, in the forest, in the rain.
He'd just heard her faintly call out for him to wait and, looking back now, he wished he had. If he had, everything might be different.
He wanted to stay here in his room. He wanted to tear up that awful jacket.
But he remembered what she had said to him that day. That he wouldn't be as unhappy as he was if he was as shallow and self-absorbed as he claimed to be. And she was right. He had known it was true as soon as he'd heard the words leave her lips. In this instance, nothing had changed. It was true then and it was true now.
Even though it was impossible that she could feel the way he felt about her, Fiyero knew she would not want him to wallow in pity. And he was not that boy anymore. He would not give up.
The clock on the wall read a quarter to twelve. Gritting his teeth, he put on the jacket and headed out the door.
Duty called.
Glinda was there, as he'd expected, seeing as how she had written him the note. He hadn't even been particularly worried about Madame Morrible being there. Glinda had asked him to be presentable, after all.
No, none of that bothered him.
What bothered him was what seemed to be the entire population of the Emerald City and then some, crowded in the square looking at Glinda, Morrible and now him, adoringly.
"Oh, good, you're here," Glinda chirped. "Now we can get started."
Before he had time to be confused, Glinda continued, her cry of "Fellow Ozians" drowning out the chatter among the assembled crowd.
"As terrifying as terror is," she said, raising her hands dramatically. "Let us put aside our panic for this one day. And celebrate."
He stood there, as she charmed the crowd, almost singing about happy she was and how much she wanted everyone else to be just as happy as she was. Figuring he wasn't there for anything more than show, Fiyero didn't pay that much attention, even when Morrible began talking about his duty leading the hunt for the Wicked Witch.
"How does it feel?" she asked.
"Frustrating."
He wasn't lying. How desperately he wanted to get out of here, even though he knew he couldn't. Then he remembered what Morrible was actually asking him, and continued, giving short, simple textbook answers that he dearly hoped did not show the feelings he had for his quarry.
But when she revealed she was asking about his engagement he woke up. Glinda flashed a ring that he certainly had not bought for, let alone proposed to her with, at the crowd, who chorused back their congratulotions.
"This is an engagement party?" he asked, turning toward Glinda.
"Surprised?" she asked.
"Yes"
"Oh, we hoped you'd be," she added, far more to the crowd than to him. "The Wizard and I."
Glinda launched right back into the theatrics, extolling the wonders of their lives. When Morrible put in her two cents though, the topic was suddenly about the Wicked Witch.
The citizens started screeching again, a long list of calumnies and lies about Elphaba. Fiyero had never believed any of it. Neither had Glinda, which was why they had gotten through the past three years together.
But, even though they knew the truth, they couldn't show it, instead putting on a show and agreeing with everything that was said. Glinda was an expert at that; she always had been. And Fiyero had been able to fake it well enough to get by.
Until now.
When someone in the crowd mentioned water, and how it would melt the Witch were she to make contact with it, he had had enough.
"Did you hear that?" he asked Glinda. "Water will melt her!"
Unless he was mistaken, it had been raining the day they freed the Lion cub. Elphaba had been there the next day to board the train to the city of Emeralds.
"People are so empty headed they'll believe anything."
Seething, he walked off, out of the main square, away from the crowd. A moment later he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He turned around to see Glinda with a desperate expression on her face.
"I can't just stand here grinning, pretending to go along with all this."
"Fiyero, you think I like hearing them say those awful things about her?" she asked him. "I hate it."
The look on her face told him it was the truth. Even all the cheers and the ballyhoo couldn't make Glinda forget about her friend.
"What are we doing here?" he asked. "Let's go, let's get out of here."
He had only taken one step before he realised Glinda was not following him.
"I can't," she stated. "I can't leave now, when people are looking to me to raise their spirits."
"No. You can't leave because you can't resist it," Fiyero countered accusingly.
Glinda missed Elphaba as much as he did. But unlike him, that wasn't going to stop her from living the perfect, charmed life she had always dreamed of. Elphaba's absence was not enough to stop her from getting sucked into all the wonder the Emerald City promised.
"That's the truth."
"Well maybe I can't, is that so wrong" she pleaded, her eyes welling with tears. "Who could?"
They both knew the answer to that question, but that didn't stop Fiyero from pointing it out. He made to walk away again, but Glinda spoke again, stopping him.
"Fiyero, I miss her too. But we can't just stop living."
It was the much same thing Elphaba had said to him. He was more than this. She wasn't the only person who wanted him to be happy. Glinda did too. She deserved so much more than this.
"No one has searched harder for her than you," Glinda continued. "But don't you see? She doesn't want to be found. You've got to face it."
"You're right," he sighed.
For the longest time, Fiyero had thought that by being Captain of the Guard, as much as he hated it, he had a purpose in his life. If he couldn't be with Elphaba, he could at least look out for her, through his post, under the guise of hunting her. But, it seemed that Glinda was right, and all his attempts were futile.
He reached out and held her hands in his own.
"And look, if it'll make you happy, of course I'll marry you."
There. He had said it. He didn't think Glinda would mind that he wasn't down on one knee with a ring. She'd already taken care of all that herself.
He wasn't going to do that. He didn't love her enough to do that. He didn't love her at all. Though he'd been with many women, there was only one he had ever truly loved.
"But it'll make you happy too, right?" she ventured softly.
Well, you know me," he shrugged. "I'm always happy."
Without another word, he left. He doubted he would be needed at the celebration any more. And he desperately needed a drink.
Now he was trapped. He had trapped himself in a life he didn't want to live and she was gone. He wasn't going to find her. He wanted to keep her safe, but if he wouldn't ever see her again, that wasn't going to happen.
He really couldn't be happier. Not with his life the way it was now; the way it would continue to be. It just wasn't possible. With Glinda, in their little fairytale plot, he could be content.
But never happy.
Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed. It was actually kind of fun focusing on Fiyero. As far as my WICKED fanfic goes, I have NOT given up. I cannot promise what will be coming, nor when it will come, but I can promise that there will be more.
I'd love a review...
