I was outside. It was a beautiful summer day in Chicago. That's how most people would describe this day, but I say different. Sure, it was sunny; there were no clouds; and I could hear the playful screams of children at the park. This day was pure torture, just like the rest of this week. I was fired, my best friend died, and I could not be more depressed.
I was running on the running path in the park near my house, and I could hear everything. I could hear the cars racing along side streets; the kids playing baseball, soccer, and football; and the heavy breathing of a fat man running behind me. I may be small, but I am fast. My red t-shirt was dirty, and so were my black capris but I did not care. I was too wrapped up in my music, though the volume was on low.
Lie, as I try to steer clear, and I try to stay sober
This is taking me over,
And my dreams complicate it...
My best friend had died a week ago because the people in this town do not care about anyone. Well, most do, but some people just do not know how the person could have friends, family, and neighbors that care about the people they have killed. I love this song, but it is weird, just a little.
"Alice!" I turned around, still running, to see Jasper in his car driving past. I waved, and he smiled. He pulled over to the side of the road, and I ran to where he was. I pulled my earphones out of my ears, and smiled. "Hey, Ali!"
"Hey Jazz! Did I not tell you to stop calling me Ali? I thought I did. It is Alice, not 'Ali.' You got that?" His face was hilarious! You should have seen it. His mouth was hanging open, and his eyes were popping out of his head. I started laughing, forgetting that I was trying to keep a straight face. He started to laugh along after a minute, and I was happier than I had been.
Once we got our laughing under control, he asked something that I was hoping he would not ask. "So, Alice, how are you?"
"Jasper, I cannot complain." He still had a smile on his face. Uh oh, he is going to try to get this information out of me. The real way I am feeling.
"You know you cannot lie to me. Come on. Tell me what is really going on." I knew I could not get out of this one. I will have to tell him the truth eventually.
I really did not want him to find out about my best friend so I whispered my answer. "My best friend died."
"I am sorry. What? I couldn't hear you."
"Please don't make me say it again! Please! Please!" I resorted to begging. I don't want to be reminded of one week ago; I already repressed the memory of the day I was told. I still had dreams of some else close to me being killed, though these dreams included Jasper, Cynthia, Bella, and Rose. Jasper was my friend, though most would assume we were going out.
"Okay, Alice. I get it! Alice, don't cry! Please! Aw…. Are you going to be able to finish your run, or should I drop you off?"
"Would you drop me off please?" I got into the car on the passenger's side.
"Of course Alice, anything when you look like you are about to cry. Scratch that, anything anytime."
"Thank you, Jasper. Thank you! For everything."
"No need to thank me Alice. I love you." I froze. Did he just say he loves me? I didn't know what to do. Do I say I love him? Or do I keep my feelings to myself? Well, I did love him, so yeah….
"I love you, too." It was nothing more than a murmur, but I think he heard it. Jasper put the gear in drive, and we were off. It was about a twenty-minute drive to my house, but I was okay with that. We just got on the highway when Jasper got cut off by some jackass.
Then I turned to look out Jasper's window, on the driver's side. I noticed at once that there was a car heading in the opposite direction in traffic, and that car was heading straight for us. There was nothing that we could do; it was too late. It crashed right where Jasper was. I got out of the damaged car and ran until I was at least 100 feet away.
I took my cell phone out of my pocket, and immediately dialed 911. I told them my name, age, address, where I was at, and some other information. "Okay. We'll be there soon. Don't panic."
I hung up after that. I sat down on the shoulder of the opposite side of the road. I pulled my knees up to my chest, my head in my hands. I just sat there until I could hear the distant police, ambulance, and fire engine alarms. I got up, not realizing I'd been crying until I looked at my hands, and I waited standing up. They got closer. They got Jasper out, and I couldn't watch anymore. I noticed a police officer walking up to me.
As he got closer, I noticed he was young, around my age. Please don't let him try anything. Apparently, that was not the case. He needed to know the age, address, phone number and Jasper's name. Then, just as he was about to leave, he asked me out. Ugh! The nerve of some people. They don't have enough decency.
I had to get a ride to the hospital. I rode with a police officer, that wasn't that asshole, because I just couldn't look at Jasper. I was too afraid he'd die right before my eyes. I called Jasper's parents when I got to the hospital, but they didn't care. Rosalie, though, she was a different story. She came. I knew my parents wouldn't care about me, they care too much about 'Cynthia.' My fucking younger sister that doesn't know when to fucking shut up.
I sat by Jasper's bedside, not looking at him. Rosalie was on his other side, crying her heart out. I probably looked like a mess. I had been crying for three hours straight, and then I couldn't go on. The tears just seemed to dry up.
"Alice?" Rosalie asked in between a sob.
"What is it, Rose?" I looked at her confused and sad.
"What was the last thing he said before he got in the accident?" Rosalie looked concerned. Almost as if she knew that Jasper was going to say something to me. I guess it was a twin thing. When I was silent for about three minutes, she said something. "It's okay, Alice. You can trust me. I won't tell anyone. I promise. No, I swear."
"Okay, Rose." I took a deep breath. "He told me that he loved me."
"Seriously? I didn't expect him to do that. I expected him to ask you out, though you guys were kind of already going out."
"Yeah, well, it was like he knew he was going to get hit." After I finished my sentence, I looked at Jasper's heart monitor. It was starting to become a continuous beep. "Oh no! He's dead!" And I started crying all over again. Rosalie cried with me. I guess losing your twin is hard. Well, losing my best friend was hard. She was like my real family, not the one I lived with. Last week was hard not to go and kill myself, and this week will be even harder.
I sat there and cried. I hoped Jasper could hear me when I said, very softly, even to my own ears, "I will be with you soon."
Rosalie got up from her place, and whispered to me, "I'll be right back with Carlisle. Emmett, Edward, and Bella will want to know what happened to Jasper, just to let you know."
I just nodded, too sad to say anything.
Carlisle, along with the rest of the people Rosalie mentioned, walked through the door. I payed them no attention. Instead, I got up walked over to the entrance of the hospital, and walked to a dark alley. It had gotten dark since I was sitting next to Jasper. I looked down the dark alley, and noticed someone standing in the middle of it. "Hello," I said softly.
"Are you here to pick up your order?" the man asked.
I said, "Yes, yes I am." Though I knew better than to smoke pot, it was a better way to get rid of all these sad feelings.
"Good. Fork over the money." I gave him five twenties, and I was on my way. I walked down the alley further, and sat down. I lit the pot and started to breathe it in. I knew this wasn't the right way to deal with my depressed feelings, but getting high was the first thing that came to mind.
I don't know how long I sat there, just breathing in the smoke. After a while, I got up, put out the pot, and started walking toward my house. No one was there. I took out some whiskey and poured myself a glass. I took out some painkillers, took two, and downed them with the whiskey. I don't care anymore. I repeated the process until everything started to fade to black. Right before I faded into complete and utter darkness, I heard voices. "Is she going to be all right?"
"I don't think so."
"She wants to die. Let her." I faintly recognized that voice to be my mother's. She said it in a passive voice; as if she didn't care I was dying. She probably didn't. All she cared about was my snot-nosed little sister, Cynthia.
"Anne, we can't just let her die! What the fuck is with you?"
Then I faded into darkness. And I was finally with Jasper, and my best friend, Xena.
A/N: I felt like doing another depressing one-shot. The lyrics are from "The Grim Goodbye" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. I thought about What if Alice lost Jasper? I already made a one-shot with Lives in Dreams about Jasper losing Alice; why not the other way around? Okay, so, writing helps me get my feelings out. And I feel frustrated with my life, and I'm still sad. Grr... depressing songs. Oh, well. So, I know, I know. You're probably asking why Alice decided to smoke pot in the first place.
1) She lost Jasper.
2) I found out one of my so-called 'friends' smokes cigarettes, and she's a hypocrite. She doesn't like the smell of smoke, but she smokes. I got out of that mess real fast. If you want the whole story, PM me. I might leave somethings out though.
3) Because I felt like it.
I'm not going to beg for reviews. This time. This was just a way to get out my feelings.
