Sonic Adventures: Christmas Stories for the Holy
Sonic suddenly realized that Santa was real and most likely wasn't a government agent. He for damn sure knew Santa wasn't a Russian spy like he suspected Tails brother. He pulled out a phone and called Tails.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT AT 5 IN THE MORNING!?" Tails yelled.
"Shut up bitch" Sonic replied. He hung up the phone.
No questions were answered. Did Tails have a brother? You don't know. Is Santa an independent nation leader? Unknown. Sonic was pissed that he didn't know and walked over to his roommates rooms. He woke up Magan first.
"Oh um Marry Christmas" She greeted rubbing sleep away.
"FUCK YOU" shadow screamed.
This revealed that he was hiding under Magan's bed the whole time. He ran and tackled Sonic. Willie walked into the room with a sickle and gun. He saw what was happening and went back to bed.
Meanwhile,
Daffy was smoking a cigar inside of a closed store. Sneaking up to strike were a group of Christmas Cult elves. Daffy knew this as he wanted to fight. He needed this shit man. He needed it more than a bear needed to learn how to drive and get a job. Of course all the bears became citizens after the government privatised the forests. One bear in particular became a guard for the bank across the street. He was paid well and drove a eco friendly car. His name was LuGar the bear guard.
But anyway, Daffy drew a gun and spun around.
"There you are bitch" Santa said. He teleported behind Daffy.
Daffy jumped out of the way. "I'll kill your whole family!"
Daffy and Santa drew swords and collided in battle.
Back to Sonic,
As an angry Tails was knocking on Sonic's door. Illuminati members had been laying in Sonic's bed waiting. As Magan separated the two hedgehogs, Sonic got fed up and left. He went into his room and saw the trouble.
Illuminati confirmed.
Back to Daffy,
The Christmas Cult gathered around their lord and Savior Santa. They cheered as the fight raged on. Santa was impressed by Daffy's skills. "Excellent work Daffy. Come and join me. I need powerful people like you. I need you now!"
Daffy thought about it, "Will there be hot chicks?"
Santa snapped his fingers and an elf lady cultist ran over and tackled Daffy. She slipped her tongue in the duck's mouth. Daffy gave a thumbs up.
Santa and his cult cheered. But LuGar centered the store and screamed "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Christmas was ruined.
The end
