Based on a Ficcy Sunday Milady/Milord fic prompt from Hypnotoad76.
Annie turned her head from Jeff's TV to watch Jeff pour her a glass of alcohol. She had been learning how to pretend to love soccer for the last hour, so she'd earned a break to admire her boyfriend of two months. She was risking missing a goal or an actual shot on net, but she decided to take a shot.
Speaking of taking shots, Jeff handed Annie her alcohol before sitting back on his couch beside her. "Thank you, sweetie pie," Annie let out before taking her first sip.
"Um, I don't see any sweetie pies here," Jeff stated. "I see a stunning Jeff somewhere around here, but no sweetie pies."
"Because the sweetie pie is you, silly," Annie cooed. "I'm just trying out my new couple nickname for you."
"Yeah, I never asked for one and I don't accept it now," Jeff scoffed. "Besides, we have personal nicknames already. Remember, Milady?"
"Oh, that's nothing now. I was Milady and you were Milord when we were friends. Now that we're finally something more and we're good at it, I think we've entered a big new stage in our relationship. The part where we get brand new coupley names," Annie laid out.
"Then I guess I'm not as good at it as you, because I'm still no sweetie pie. And I won't be next year, or 10 years or 50 years from now. I still have some dignity left in this relationship, thank you very much," Jeff insisted.
Annie could have pointed out how he said 10 years or 50 years from now – like he figured they would still be together then. If he was already that schmoopy and optimistic without even knowing it, he wasn't as dignified and cool as he thought he was. But she would save playing that card for another time – and she was quickly learning how to use those cards as a girlfriend. For now, the nickname problem was still at hand.
"Okay, so sweetie pie is out. Let's try something else, then," Annie offered.
"I don't think you read my rejection the right way," Jeff responded.
"I've supposedly read into a lot of things the wrong way. But I've been proven right anyway," Annie played her other big card – one that never got old, really. This shut Jeff up enough for Annie to use her next nickname. "How about hun? It's nice and simple and not overly schmoopy."
"It's generic. Jeff Winger is many things, but average is not one of them," Jeff bragged.
"Fine, then I'm going back to schmoopy above average names. Like snuggle bear. Because you're snuggly and big like a bear," Annie teased.
"Okay, maybe Jeff could be average in one thing to keep him mortal. Just one, because he still has a reputation. In spite of your commitment to wrecking it," Jeff needled.
"All right, let's find a middle ground, then," Annie huffed, pretending to believe Jeff was an equal partner in this search – for both their sakes. "How about big chin? It's not sappy and it's unique to you! And it's something you'll only let me call you because I'm special to you."
"Annie, there's a limit to even your specialness. And you're vomiting all over it," Jeff graphically described.
"Oh, very nice, Jeff. Maybe your nickname should be Captain Immature," Annie frowned.
"I'm a general or I'm nothing, let's get that straight right now," Jeff shot back, now having fun with this while Annie was getting more annoyed.
"Okay then. You can be General Jeffey then, if that helps," Annie responded.
"Oops, I'm gay, guess I have to be discharged!" Jeff loopholed. "Oh, and since gay, forehead, and pointy chin were taken by our charming friends, they can't enlist either."
Annie pouted quietly, then got struck with inspiration. "Oooh, this is perfect! It doesn't make fun of you or anything! From now on, I'm just going to call you….honeybee!" She smiled as Jeff just stayed quiet. "Huh? Huh? It was coined by a pretty cool country star, and you're all about looking cool! That's why you're showing me how to pretend to love soccer, right? Huh?"
Instead of being flattered by a Blake Shelton inspired nickname, Jeff deadpanned, "Good night, Annie," then got up and closed the door behind him into the bedroom.
Annie gasped and huffed, "Wow, big baby much? Hey, that's a good one! Oops, sorry, I should say General Big Baby! And he was a tiny little bitter toy in Toy Story 3, so that fits you too! Except for the tiny part, but that just makes it funnier! Huh?" But no retort came from behind Jeff's bedroom door.
So Annie regrouped, folded her arms and waited for Jeff to come out like a big boy. But the door didn't budge, which inspired Annie to force him out. "If you're stuck in there, then I can keep shouting out names and you can't stop me! Did you think that far ahead? Guess that means I can cross out Idea Man!" she teased.
Unfortunately, Annie soon realized she'd used her best ideas already. So she stayed stuck for a while to think of good ones, but none came out. At least no good ones did, as she tossed out ideas like "lazypants" "ab man" "sarcastor" and "lord of the phones." When she got to "Bedhead" and "Hair Gel" and then realized she was ripping off Britta, she was almost ready to give up.
By then, Jeff had finally emerged from the bedroom, but Annie was too annoyed to address him. She turned her head as he sat back down next to her, so she only heard Jeff say, "Okay, my new relationship powers tell me this isn't about nicknames. So how am I my old insensitive, pre-boyfriend self this time?"
"You're not! Not for about 30 percent of this, anyway. And there's no hidden, insecure meaning behind this!" Annie assured. "I just wanted to call you something new and special. Something that describes you, sums up who you are and how I know you better than anyone. And something you love me enough to let me, and no one else, call you. But I don't know. Maybe Milady/Milord was a once in a lifetime idea or something."
"Maybe. But you know me better than anyone already. And I already do things with you I'd never do with anyone. And a few hotter things I don't want to do with anyone else. Hopefully not for a long time, if ever," Jeff said, oblivious to how serious he sounded again.
"We don't need a nickname to prove we're special to each other. I mean, you're already Annie and that's good enough for me. And I….hope Jeff is enough for you," he finished, slightly more insecurely than he probably would have liked. Yet Annie would let it slide that she noticed.
"It always has been. I'm just glad you've accepted it now," Annie finally smiled again. "After all that time denying you were good enough for me, now you've…." And just like that, Annie's eyes widened in realization.
"Okay, why is your 'I know the answer, I'm so smart' look on your face?" Jeff inquired.
"Because I am so smart, my good man! Get it?" Annie asked, to which Jeff did not get it. "It's right there! My good man!"
"You got a way for this man to get there?" Jeff checked.
"No, it's my good man! That's your nickname! My good man!" Annie cheered.
"Annie, that's a phrase, not a coupley nickname. You're many things, but you're not a cheater," Jeff reminded.
"I'm not, because it can be a nickname! A nickname that's uniquely you and us!" Annie started. "Don't you see? You always thought you weren't a good man, but I knew you were wrong! Even when you jerked me around to prove you weren't! But although it hurt like hell sometimes, I still had faith in you. And that helped you realize you were good! The good man you always said I deserved, but who you thought couldn't be you!" she paused to let Jeff take it in and start to see her wisdom.
"Now you know you're that good man, just like I know it. Maybe you still don't want anyone else to know. But that's why you're my good man and no one else's," Annie explained. "Well, you still have to be good for our friends, but not the way you are for me! That's the point, really," she stumbled at the end.
Yet despite not ending with a bang, Jeff didn't make any quips or putdowns or sickened gestures. Instead, he slowly got that 'You pierced through my cold, dark heart and I not so-secretly love it' look on his face. The look that was just for Annie, like her new nickname would be just for him if he approved.
"I guess if that's how you want to embarrass me, I can put up with it," he tried to be nonchalant. But that look gave away a different story.
"I do. I like embarrassing you in special ways only I can do," Annie reiterated, and Jeff voiced no problem with it. "Okay then. My good man it is. Thank you for settling that."
"Thanks for the settlement," Jeff said, meaning more with his tone than he did with his words.
Annie matched his loving stare long enough to get away with saying, "All right, now you just have to pick a name for me and we're done!" Jeff sighed, but Annie kept smiling and put the Disney face on stand-by, just in case. She flattered him big time, so she figured Jeff owed her one.
He just laid his head on the couch, stayed still for a moment, then turned back to say, "Princess. There, we're done now."
Annie frowned in confusion, then frowned in slight offense as she noted, "Gee, thanks Jeff. I spent all that time thinking of a great name for you. You just tossed out another Disney princess joke and called it a night. That says it all, doesn't it?"
"Speaking of saying stuff, did you notice I never said Disney princess at all?" Jeff illuminated. "I only called you princess. And that's the whole point."
"You call me princess all the time. Mainly to compare me to some naïve, bubbly cartoon," Annie reminded.
"But you're not that kind of princess to me anymore. Now you're a real boy!" Jeff joked, but that just made Annie more confused. "Okay, last Disney joke, I swear," he promised before letting himself get serious.
"Yes, the Disney princesses were sappy, happy clichés until roughly 1991. But you're not just a Disney princess anymore, Annie. You're a real one. Real princesses are worshipped for more than being smiley and happy and settling for Prince Charming. They're worshipped for everything about them and they're the ideal for all women to live up to, even though almost none of them can. Not in beauty, brains, smiles, heart, kindness, or token cartoon eyes," Jeff had to tease.
Nevertheless, Annie let those token cartoon eyes water a bit as Jeff concluded. "That's why this took me two seconds, Annie. Because there's nothing else I can call you but princess. Just princess. A real living, breathing, all too human princess in every single way. The others can use that name as a cartoon joke, but not me. Not anymore. What else can I call someone who chose me as her 'good man'? There's no need to keep the search going."
"No. No there isn't," Annie admitted. Her princess eyes finally closed when they got too watery, so Jeff helped wipe her princess tears away. When she was free and clear, she composed herself to agree, "Then that's it. We're my good man and princess. Deal?"
"Deal, your majesty," Jeff sealed with a handshake. But Annie sealed it further with an all too brief but deep kiss as their hands broke.
Jeff smiled and got in his own peck before settling back into the couch, letting Annie lie beside her as they pretended to enjoy soccer. Their minds had wandered all throughout the match anyway, but at least now they could wander to each other – in a more romantic way than usual.
Annie broke the silence again by trying out, "Migood man," on her tongue. Jeff then responded with, "Miprincess," and let it linger for a moment.
Finally Annie confessed, "You know, they don't flow off the tongue like Milady/Milord. Maybe they're too long or something."
"Well, I reached my sappy boyfriend limit tonight, so we're not picking again," Jeff declared. "Maybe we should stick to the classics for a while until we work the kinks out. We would be working on kinks faster than I expected in this relationship."
"Jeff!" Annie squeaked once she got his innuendo. He had reached his sentiment limit tonight, indeed. But Annie still got him with, "Well, if that's what Milord wants."
Jeff nodded, but couldn't hold out on adding, "Thanks, Milady" as the lord's arm went around his lady's body.
With that, the princess just giggled and laid her head on her good man's shoulder for the rest of the night.
A/N 2: The 'honeybee' bit not only came from Blake Shelton, but from a fellow author at Milady/Milord who's used that term a few times in her stories. The author is jennywithnoname over at M/M, for those who haven't basked in her brilliance yet.
