A/N: I don't own CSI:Miami, CBS, or any other known entity. This is an alternate universe, and takes place after Season 6's finale. In this universe, Horatio really was shot at the airport, but survived. It's a relatively short story, having only four parts, but I hope you guys enjoy it. Please, please review. :)
Prologue
"I have a number of memories up here, not all are good," he told her as he arched his eyebrows and took his characteristic stance. "So, I apologize. Umm, let's go get Al."
She never said a word to him about it, but he knew she didn't need to. This was personal, not business, and she wasn't the type to put her nose in there. At least, she didn't seem like the type. He didn't really know what she was like, to be completely frank about it.
And Horatio Caine was nothing if not frank.
As he flipped the paper over in his hand, he thought back on everything he had gone through in his fifty-odd years of living. Life had never been simple for him, and as he reminisced in the silence of his office, he couldn't help but think about what was right and what was wrong.
Law dictated right and wrong, and what justice meant. But who dictated the law? It was a battle that he thought back to every day. From day one, he fought right versus wrong, good versus evil, and struggled with the authority to which he was bound. He managed to get through with his own code of ethics that he expected those around him to live up to.
But, at times like these, he wondered if his own ethics were just as messed up as the criminals he put away for a living. After everything that was going on, everything that had happened, part of him just wanted to get out of Miami and get away from the bad memories.
The only problem was that the only other place he had ever called home held even more bad memories for him. And as he continued to flip the page over and over with his fingers, lounging in his chair and staring out the window into the Miami sunset, he knew that there was a lot more to these memories than he was willing to admit.
It wasn't just thinking about his mother's death. It was more than remembering how he killed his father for beating his mother. It ran deeper than being served with the civil suit that day in front of Stella Bonasera, who was a fine detective, if he did say so himself.
It was the fact that, no matter how hard he tried to be otherwise, he was shackled by the experiences he had faced. The haunting of his past, the bad moments, the pain. All these things bound him into the existence he had now.
He sighed, thinking of the hard admission he just made to himself. He usually never wanted to admit that he was still constrained by his past. He was as tied to New York as he was to Miami, the chains holding him so forcefully in what had been that sometimes, it was hard to move.
He had prided himself on being strong, but in these rare moments, where he let down his guard, he was as broken as the next man. He wasn't one for weakness, surely not one to show it, and would never admit it to another living human being. But, in this moment, he had to admit that he was human, and he had been bashed around several times in his life.
And now, he found himself stuck in the middle of an internal war. The war between whether he was doing the right thing or if he was doing the wrong thing. Was he saving lives, or just taking them unabashedly? Was he really making a difference anymore, or was he working his way to becoming part of the problem?
*~*~*~*
Calleigh stopped in, standing in the doorway. "Horatio?" she asked softly. He turned his head, greeting her with his normal half-smile.
"Calleigh," he replied, matching her tone. There was no need for an added volume, as they were two of the only people in the area.
"I just wanted to tell you I'm headin' out. Eric and I wrapped that robbery case."
"Good, good." She nodded, biting her lip. In years past, Horatio had been so involved with his team, helping them on every case they had, being their best friend when they needed it. But the years had clearly taken their toll on him, and Calleigh found that sad. Lost in his exterior, she knew that kindhearted man still existed, but it was digging through the outside that would take a while.
"Well, I'm leavin'. Don't stay too long, okay?" She smiled, giving him a wink to indicate she was being playful with him. He smiled genuinely in response.
"I won't, ma'am."
She nodded, sighing. "Oh, and in case I hadn't said this yet, it's great seein' you back on your feet, boss. Take care."
"Thank you, and you too, Calleigh."
"Good night." She turned, walking out the door. Just before it closed behind her, she heard his quiet reply.
"Good night, Calleigh."
*~*~*~*
After Calleigh departed, Horatio felt there wasn't much left to do anymore. At least, not in his office. He stood up, grabbing his keys off his desk, and walked toward the door. Shades in hand, he walked away, leaving the building for the solitude of his home.
