I blame my religion for everything that's happened.

That may be odd statement, and you may be spouting blasphemy for me badmouthing my God(s), but I'm not. I am (was? Still am?) agnostic. I didn't believe in anything, nor did I disbelieve it and that's precisely the problem. From what I've theorized (read: assumed because there's no other reason I ended up here) that when you haven't chained yourself to anyone one religion, your eternal soul is essentially free. There's no Hell or Heaven, no Tartarus, no Nirvana - there simply isn't. Thus, your soul has free reign. It's what allows spirits to stay glued to the mortal plane, giving evidence to ghosts and (if your soul is tainted enough) demons or poltergeists. When I died, horrifically might I add, I became a ghost. It was pretty morbid, and very depressing, seeing as I was tied to my body for several weeks until the… mortal chain (Tether?) eroded. I got to experience my funeral, and hated the entire thing. The music sucked, my brother-in-law and father almost strangled each other, and my sister and friends were an inconsolable mess. The only beneficial part of the experience was that it disapproved any earthly worries that no one would miss me when I was gone.

After the funeral was about two weeks of aggravatingly boring cemetery stalking (though I did get to spook any visitors, so that was cool) before my tether finally broke. When it broke, my soul was free. At the time, I didn't know that it meant I'd be free for any deity that decided their 'realm' was boring. I just saw it as a way for me to move on and answer those annoying calls my friend made on her Ouija board. Thus, when I sensed that the chain had finally snapped - thank Arceus - I was floating away as quickly as possible.

That's where I encountered another...issue. I had encountered my fair share of other ghosts - this was a cemetery, after all - and even saw a demon in passing. The only thing to say about that, was that my previous fear of anything occult was well justified. I shouldn't even say previous, this was some spooky shit.

What was spookier was the thing standing in front of me, pure white and rimmed with an eerie black light. No features discernible, other than a manic tooth-filled grin and the vague body shape of a human female.

"Uh...are you another demon?" Stupid question. If it was, he (it?) would surely eat you for your impudence, dumbass.

It seemed impossible, but the thing's grin only widened. "No, I'm what you would call God. Or perhaps the world. The universe, truth, even you. Not the first one for you, obviously, seeing as how you're lingering between realms in the first place."

This spiel was ringing a familiar note in my head, but seeing as how my thought processes were bypassed by terror, it wasn't hard to guess why I couldn't remember. Taking a discreet (obvious) step back, I eyed the creature once more. I wasn't too skeptical about his claims, seeing as I was already a damned ghost.

"A God? What would a god want with me?"

"Entertainment. My realms are growing stagnant and I've grown bored." Truth - because I sure as hell wasn't calling him any of his other titles - was happy to provide.

Insert disbelieving gape from yours truly, before yet another dumb question slipped past my lips. "...what kind of god are you?"

"An all powerful one, and since your tether just snapped, your soul is free to be taken. Do something interesting for me." With that final demand, there was an ominous presence suddenly at my back. Turning hesitantly, I stared up in disbelief at two hovering, gigantic doors. They opened before I could emit a single squeak, black tendrils (hands?!) seeping out and wrapping (strangling) my body as they reeled me in.

I let out a piercing shriek, every instinct in my body telling me to run, run, run but I couldn't escape. My last sight of my home world was of Truth's unbearable grin, black-rimmed hand raised in a sarcastic wave.

Then the doors slammed shut, blackness taking it's place and then...pain.


Author's Note

Well. Hello, all. Here's me drifting into another fandom, one that I'm about the same level of knowledge on as with Blue Exorcist. Though, to be fair, I have seen Brotherhood multiple times. I just haven't spent as much in depth research time in it as I have Naruto or Harry Potter. Hopefully that'll actually be a prompt for my procrastination to take a hike.

Who knows? We'll see. As it stands, I'm looking up any Alchemic information I can find, theorizing what type of Alchemist I want her to be. This is a Self Insert OC type of story, so if you find the character acting stupid, know that it's most likely what I - as a 19 year old lazy hermit - would do. Expect some demolition.

Opinions, please? Also what race do you think she'll be? Amestrian? Ishvalan? Drachman? Hell, maybe Xingan and I'll turn this into a LingOC fic, because damn he's fine.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Tell me what you think.

Mew

P.S. I know it's short, forgive me.