An Expression of Affection
Severa tried to fall asleep, but all she could see was that redheaded genius that had to be her mother.
Most kids would think themselves lucky, she was told in the future...in her past...when she was younger—time travel was confusing enough without referring to the future in the past tense, even though it was sequentially correct—that she should be glad to have a mother like Cordelia, a genius in every sense of the word, beautiful in every sense of the word, the most easily loved of any human to grace the world with presence, but still a humble, loving, kind, and brave—and then Severa cut them off abruptly, finding a situation that needed to be tended to that, while it existed, didn't truly take precedence over anything until the guy decided to lecture the daughter of the famous Pegasus Knight. Or gal. Usually it was another kid though, in which case she was especially angry, considering they were lucky, not her.
How was she supposed to think of herself as so lucky when her mom was always off killing...unkilling...destroying—she didn't even know which tense to use for those, but destruction was essentially what was going on—Risens? She was especially unlucky, because she ended up having to go to the past to save her "genius" mother from dying. That still didn't leave Severa feeling superior, though, and she had to at least be an equal—no, she needed to be superior.
That was the complicated part, in order to be better she had to prove herself as a warrior, but while her mother was around, it was always going to be her getting the attention, the positive kind, at least. Besides, she was already half way to legendary status in this time. Severa tried to console herself, that nothing she did or could have done would have changed or helped anything, that being overshadowed was inevitable.
It was the perfect excuse, but satisfied very few people, she just wanted to end the competition she found herself born into, but for that to happen, she needed to win. Only the superior one could end the battle, call it a draw.
Severa rolled onto her side, before, enraged, she threw her covers to the floor and stormed across camp, and bumped her knuckle against the beam next to the flap of the tent her mother lived in.
"Huh, who's there?" Cordelia called from within.
"It's your daughter," Severa bit, crossing her arms angrily, "you know, me? The invisible one...that one."
"Severa?" Cordelia was already outside, wearing a concerned—dare she think it—motherly expression. The nerve of some certain people, "Sweet—eh, Severa, what's wrong?"
Severa didn't think telling her mom to drop the naming would make things awkward, somehow, though, she managed to be wrong again.
"W-what, you're supposed to give the person outside some notice that you're going to jump scare them!" Severa chided, turning to face her shoulder to Cordelia.
"Uh...sorry? I've never heard of these rules, maybe the culture of the time was different? We are younger than in your future...is it the same time in your time, or years ahead? It's actually amusing, you're not even born yet, and you're about my age...look, I have to ask, Severa, were you crying?"
"Huh, no, it's just a stupid bug flew into my eye, it's so annoying. Ugh, Robin just had to march us through a swamp! What an idiot."
"Are you sure, you seem very upset...your nose is runny."
"Again, the swamp! This place stinks...sometimes I wish I could just send one punch across the cheek, but Chrom would get angry, and Morgan would probably walk me into a pitfall trap."
"We're not that close to the swamp...and it's a marsh."
"Same thing, it's nasty and there are stupid bugs that fly into people! Anyway, the sappy thing about the culture being different is wrong, it was the same stupid people I see today, except I grew up around them, and this time they're younger, and know even less than they did last time...sometimes I wonder if it was smart to say we're related."
"Uh...well, if I knew it'd cause you so much trouble...want to come in?" Cordelia asked, her hurt expression making Severa wish she wouldn't take the statement regarding their relationship personally, did it really matter so much if something was or wasn't said?
"Fine, if it gets me away from the bugs." Severa grumbled.
"It will." Cordelia promised, a smile replacing the frown, stepping aside to let Severa in, "So, we haven't talked in a while, huh?"
"Nope. There's really not much to say, is there?" Severa remarked, and heard Cordelia make a sound like she stubbed her toe against something.
"It doesn't mean we can't find something." Cordelia patted the bed in a welcoming gesture to sit down. Severa thought a moment—pretended to think about it, really, she tried to mask the fact her thoughts were actually in control.
Did Mom just ask me to sit with her? Yes, of course want to sit with you! Gawds, who does Cordelia think I am?!
"So, what brings you out here so late?" Cordelia hardly knew Severa well, so it could be anything, from a nightmare to a memory, or a memory that became a nightmare, or a nightmare that compiled the worse memories...or it could be that she just wanted to visit her mother. Cordelia hoped Severa trusted her enough for all the others, but hoped wanting to visit would be the reason, even though that meant Severa was probably uncomfortable talking to her in public. She hated the thought that she was like this for growing up in her mother's shadow.
"Good to see you too, Cordelia!" Severa jumped off the bed and crossed her arms, glaring at the crimson haired Pegasus Knight.
"That's not what I meant...I just though something might be on your mind." Cordelia's concern made Severa feel bad for being defensive, but she really didn't want to say why exactly she was here. She never needed anyone before, but now she went and got close to someone.
"Why does something have to be on my mind?! I'm just outside, I can't sleep, it's nothing big, it's not like I have a Risen attached to my head or anything!"
"I just wanted to know...in case I could help." Severa watched, arms crossed, her expression as irritable as ever, "You do seem like you wanted to say something, though."
"No, everything's just so simple for you." Severa hoped Cordelia would give her venue for elaborating on that statement.
"Huh, where did that come from?"
"I mean, you're simply a genius, you're simply the best at everything, your fighting is simply flawless, you're simply flawless, and it's just so—ugh, you had to go and be simply perfect, it's annoying because everything for me is...complex, complex, and, oh, complex!"
"Severa-"
"The worst part is that no matter how good I get, you're always better—you'll always be better!"
"Severa...I'm still not perfect, I'm sure you're better at many other things than me."
"Like what, being second best at everything, or being best at being worst at everything than my mom?"
"Well, I'm sure you've done a great job of keeping up with me-"
"You don't know, though, do you? Or is this your way of not saying one or the other? Wy can't things just be easy?"
"Severa...I know it's hard for you-"
"You haven't seen the least of it."
"It wasn't easy when I joined the Pegasus Knight Squadron-"
"You-"
"Sorry, I'm the legend, I have no place to compare, besides, you probably don't want to hear about-"
"You never told me this story before." Severa replied, then cleared her throat, "So, are you going to tell me or not?"
"Ah, well, huh?" Cordelia raised an eyebrow as Severa tossed herself on the bed.
"I'll leave you alone when you finish." Severa replied to the amused smile. She would never in a thousand years admit to needing anyone's help or support. While she agreed to fight alongside her mother to safeguard the future, she would never ask for help fighting the demons who followed the children to the past, that said, this was as close as she feared she could get to that point.
Cordelia smiled at the girl from the future. Somehow that was her daughter, she accepted the fact, but couldn't stop being amazed every time she thought of it.
"Well, stop looking at me like a toddler or something," Severa rolled onto her side and Cordelia laughed, "you'd think I was scared of the dark or something...don't look at me, just...stare at the ceiling or something."
Cordelia fell next to Severa, and Severa, knowing no one could see her face, smiled.
"So, where should I start?" Cordelia wondered, imagining Severa smile at the remark.
"The beginning, of course." Severa said, too happy to sound annoyed, so settled for bored, but realized how childishly impatient she ended up sounding.
"Of course...but which beginning? The day I decided to join, or the day I arrived...or the day I considered dropping out?"
"Oh, gawds, Mother, just pick some—wait, what? You considered...dropping out?"
"I told no one, not even my parents through a letter, that I had doubts. I was told by Phila that my skill with a lance was unprecedented, despite being new to the team. I was told later that Phila was taking pity on me, and that while I was better than most beginners, I was still far from great." Cordelia's pause took longer than it should have, and Severa wondered why it was so long.
"You going to finish?" Severa turned around and Cordelia smiled.
"Of course, I just...it's a hard memory, you know? Oh—sorry, I don't mean-"
"It's fine...I was used to it, bad memories are all the same to me now, you may have gotten away with a bit of a bruise compared to my myriad scars...but I won't hold it against you...too tired."
"I must remember to thank Naga for fatigue, then."
"Just shut up and keep talking."
"Ha, ha, ha, that's pretty funny."
"Y-you know what I mean, for that big brain you can be dim."
"Just indulging in a little humor, Sev. Can I call you Sev? You hardly call me 'mother' unless you chide me, I know you don't respect me a lot, and that's fair enough, but I at least want to be your friend-"
"Ah, ha," Severa tried to choke back tears and disguise them as a laugh, a frown contorted into a smile just in case Cordelia turn her around, and of course she did, "it—you're just so funny, ha, friends!"
"Come here, stubborn thing." Cordelia maneuvered an apathetic Severa closer and held onto her, "The dreadful future may have grown you up too fast, but you didn't have much of a life, did you? Hardly any time with your real parents...I know they looked forward to returning to you, I just wished they did."
"I'm not some baby, so you don't have to treat me like one...m-Mom." Severa struggled with the word, it seemed foreign, but she hadn't used the word, as far as she could remember, "Just get on with the story."
"Alright...some time after they told me that Phila had just been taking pity on the new kid, I felt mistrusting towards Phila and, well, everybody. Then one day I met a clumsy Pegasus Knight who did her best to keep up with the others, her lack of raw power was more than made up for by the way she had with animals...she could even affect people in the same room, and despite having two left feet, she was a pretty good guide."
"Sumia, right?"
"Yep, she explained it to me like this: In the air, you're like a different creature, not clumsy or limited, but graceful and free. She joined because she could couldn't fall over herself in the air, I joined because...I wasn't planning on telling you, but I'm not the best at running, that fact didn't matter in the air. Sumia and I became fast friends, but she was assigned to Shepherds shortly after we met, and I was left with the rest of the Knights, who made me feel very inferior. I planned to leave, despite having found that Phila did think I was gifted...but being held in such high regards came with a harsh price, they laughed at me and called me a genius, if they didn't sound so sarcastic it might not have been so bad, but I could tell they were trying their best to make fun of me. I didn't give up though, in the air I did feel free, and I focused on that, and it helped I had a goal in mind: I would protect Chrom, fight to become stronger. That changed one day, I was ordered to meet him, though under less than ideal circumstances...we had been attacked, and the Plegian army would advance to choke Chrom's Shepherds, they were to be attacked from behind, I warned Chrom...and I had to tell him...tell him that I...I was the last of the Pegasus Knight Squadron!"
Severa hugged Cordelia as the red head cried. This was not what she had in mind in terms of spending time with Cordelia, but then, she never really understood Cordelia until now, and now she saw that Cordelia was more like her than she cared to think about.
"You know the funny thing? Phila planned on naming me as her successor, what a dream that was...it was all like a dream until that day...and now they're all dead, I keep thinking...if only I had stayed-"
"Then there would be one less Pegasus Knight...two less Pegasus Knights—maybe three."
"I suppose Sumia would have been shaken, but-"
"I meant...me and my big mouth." Severa groaned irritably as she continued to let Cordelia cry on her shoulder, "Look, I was thinking...just don't worry about it."
"Huh? A-alright."
"I'll become a Pegasus Knight."
"Huh, w-what?"
"Not now, but later, after the war...I'll become a Pegasus Knight, but don't expect me to train very hard, I'm not crazy about the idea, and there's other stuff I want to do when it's over...and the third Pegasus Knight is your real daughter...since you're feeling especially clueless today."
"I suppose sticking around me wasn't part of the plan, huh?"
"Are you stupid, or completely stupid? You're the one who pried your way into my life, so now you're stuck with me."
"Ha, ha, I don't mind being stuck with you, I'm just glad I could make you feel better."
"Yeah, well...what does that mean?"
"I knew why you were here, I knew what you wanted, and that you felt like everyone views you as less than me...now that we're on the subject, though, I want to ask if I can tell people that I respect you for your efforts."
"It smells like pity."
"It isn't, I just want you to be recognized for your own accomplishments."
"It's not like I can keep you from talking...I actually planned on being better than you at something, and then I'd be able to tell people to shut up, but I haven't earned that right."
"It's not a contest, that's the only reason why people are talking about me, it's just blown out of proportion...not that you need permission, but I hereby give you my blessing to tell people to shut up about which one of us is better than the other. We're a team, like Chrom and Robin, we're not just fighting as ourselves, but under the banner of something bigger."
"Thanks." Severa breathed.
"For what?"
"I don't know...being a mom to me, even though I'm not...your Severa...and that I'm a brat and a jerk."
"You don't need to thank me for that, but you're more than welcome...and I don't care that your not from this time...don't talk about my daughter that way."
"Ha...if thanking you is the only nice thing I do then I may as well list the reasons why, and you might as well not argue."
"Fine, I'm too tired to argue."
"Thank Naga for fatigue, then!" Severa chuckled.
"That...hmm, yes, where would we be without that?" Cordelia closed her eyes and fell asleep. Severa turned to the Pegasus Knight and felt a twinge of guilt.
Cordelia's past was similar to hers, they both ended up leaving the world that gave them so much grief, in order to safeguard the legacy of that world, somehow they ended up reacting to their environments differently, not that losing her parents helped...then again, she still didn't know much about Cordelia's parents, but how similar could they be?
"You'll give her a better future than the one I got stuck with, because you're going to live this time...I don't want her to have to travel back to the past, I don't want her to need to be angry, it's so tiring...it's the only thing I know...I'm going to keep you alive, even if it kills me." Severa felt somewhat relieved when Cordelia responded by sleepily breathing, though she was mostly amused, "Honestly, Mother? No one falls asleep that quickly."
Severa suddenly remembered the other day with Cynthia and amended that comment, "Except under special circumstances. Alright, you're asleep...fine, whatever." Severa tried to decide what her next course of action should be, but felt compelled to continue the way she readied herself for.
Severa looked up, then back down to Cordelia, "Goodnight...I love you, Mom." Severa held her hand near her eye and groaned, wondering why she was suddenly on the verge of tears. As she tried to push the emotions aside she thought she saw Cordelia smile, then froze and felt a chill as Cordelia held her.
"I love you too, Severa."
"I-I thought you was asleep."
"I tried to, but you just kept talking, and I didn't want to interrupt. To be honest, I was wondering if 'goodnight' was as much as you'd say."
"Well...goodnight."
"Goodnight, Severa."
"I must have sounded stupid talking to you."
"Sleep, Severa." Cordelia mumbled.
"Yeah, yeah." Severa waited a moment before patting her mother's shoulder.
"Everything alright?" Cordelia opened one eye to find her with and Severa sighed.
"I love you, Mom." Severa cried, holding onto Cordelia, not caring that today she expressed how much she did at least want to be able to need someone to help her feel better.
Cordelia smiled warmly as she leaned back to find Severa's face, "I love you too, Sev."
Severa cleared her throat as Cordelia continued to watch her, "You think you're cute? That will be all...sleep, Cordy." Severa readjusted herself several times before getting comfortable.
"Yes, ma'am." Cordelia closed her eyes again and fell asleep, Severa yawned and followed suit.
No one dared discuss of theorize on Severa's visit, if had a nightmare or couldn't sleep, they simply pretended not to see her leave her mother's tent, and pretended not to see the smile she left with.
Author's Notes: For you, brother! A tender moment that Severa could finally express her feelings with, she only wants love, but can't let herself get close because she doesn't want to get hurt...careful, though, once in, she won't leave easy! When you're done reading this, brother my, tell me how hard this kicked your feels!
