The Emperor's New Groove: Montezuma's Revenge
Act One: The Jaguar's Paw
Long ago, somewhere in a kingdom far away…
The sky was painted a dark azure, deeper than the most spacious oceans, dimmed by the abundance of thick storm clouds rolling over the curvature of a massive palace's golden roof. These were not natural storm clouds however. Sure, they bled with thunder, lightning and rain… slowly bellowing overhead, but they served as harbingers of a more sinister apparition arising on the horizon. Trails of vivid blue static illuminated the skies as the wind howled in unison with the guttural growls from an enormous shadowy figure… a creature hardly recognizable against the backdrop below save for those translucent glowing red eyes, as it climbed higher onto the building. Normally, the shining Mesoamerican fortress would seem intimidating in its own right - an impressive edifice guised as a stylized visage overlooking its subjects from a steep hilltop seat - but now its radiance was blotted out by scores of living shadows creeping higher.
The myriad of people gathered in the wet, bleak, twisting city streets looked up in shock and awe; their symbol of the kingdom overtaken by this monster. The countless stairways leading to the effigy were drowned in darkness… and all seemed lost in this depressing atmosphere.
A resonating roar issued from the creature, resounding its intent, but it paused when yet another figure appeared on the scene. A young rain-drenched fallen king - his once elaborate robes of crimson and saffron tattered and billowing against soaring winds - stood as an affront to it. His reedy shape threatened to topple over against the weight of the gales and his long sopping black hair framed his slowly-becoming-despondent expression.
AND PAUSE!
Um…. What?
Thanks, you did an excellent job with that astounding visual opening there, but I think I can handle it from here…
But… I'm the writer…
Aw, poor baby. Well this story IS about me isn't it?
Well, yeah, it is.
Then I think it's pretty obvious YOU need to take a hike, sister! I mean, what do you think you're trying to pull here? Really…? Would you take a gander at that guy… he's washed up (literally)… and broken… a far cry from the powerful emperor he should be, right?
That's kinda the idea, ya know. It's called a 'fake out'.
Well I don't like it. You could've picked a better place to start.
Alright… well you know how this ends so just go ahead and do your riff-style commentary like you like to do…
Thank you…
Yep, it's me again… Emperor Kuzco!.. in yet another life-threatening situation. It's funny, they worship you like a God but they don't tell you about the countless death threats or in this case, giant shadowy figures, you'll come in contact with… No! It just comes with the territory of being Emperor. So yeah, I guess you're probably wondering how THIS PARTICULAR exploit came to pass…? Well for the answer to that, we have to go back a bit…
The llama emperor and his newly found best friend embraced, happily rejoicing at their victory of securing the human-transforming potion.
NO, no… we did that already…!
It was a beautiful sunny day in Pacha's village. Kids played in the shallow pools below as adults enjoyed a nice picnic on the riverbank - catering provided by Kronk and the staff of Mudka's Meat Hut.
Okay… no… but I think you're getting warmer….
Upon the outlying roadways of the hilly terrain, a black jaguar stalked the sight before him. Massive paws kneaded the patchy earth, gleaming eyes darted to and fro, and hot breath seared past drool-laced fangs as he led an enigmatic group - five sets of bead-shackled sandaled feet following closely behind into the fringes of the far-reaching empire.
Oh yeah! Here's a good place to start!
The air had a slight haze to it, nothing too unusual... though it left a lingering tinge of grey. Their destination, the vibrant monolith of the palace, was visible above a scattering of thin clouds in the distance - a beacon from the mists.
Approaching this palace, you'd see several two-toned painted guards lined at the entrance, alert - well most of them anyway. There are the occasional one or two that are picking their nose or staring into the sky dreaming about how it might've been like to have taken that job as an osteologist. At the current time, within the sunlit throne room, a steady stream of grievances could be heard as a shaky old man dressed in periwinkle read aloud from a thick stack of parchments tied together in ribbons.
From atop his large outcropped throne, the young emperor slunk back with his lips pursed together and strummed his fingers against the armrests - the very picture of boredom. As he listened, an angled black brow raised impulsively.
"…So, in conclusion, your highness," Rudy cleared his throat, "It would seem to reason that every eatery or public place in the kingdom have a special lift or cart for us senior citizens to accommodate our weak knees. I mean, do you realize how hard it is for us to get up all these stairs!?"
I try to be a good leader and all, listening to the multitude of complaints and problems from the citizens… but you never really get used to it…
"Rudy, I'm not the one who constructed this city ya know…" He groaned and slunk back further, allowing his semicircular crown to droop toward his face.
"Of course, of course, but they do say change is good…" the old man cheerfully replied.
A tuft of sable hair poked out from underneath Kuzco's sliding crown. After a moment, he slumped forward to fix it, throwing his hands to his knees and blew at his bangs. The rest of his hair swept from behind his ears and traveled down his back slightly past his shoulder blades - tied loosely toward the end by a red strip that danced with every motion of his head.
"Tsk tsk, Rudy… I'm surprised…" He shook his head, eager to try a new approach, "I really would've thought someone of your generation would WANT to keep the old traditions and history behind this kingdom. Don't you think, by MY interfering with the way things are built, it…mmm…might go against all of that?"
"Hmm…" Rudy put a bony digit to his chin and tapped in thought. "Yeah - but I don't care - now if I could have your attention on the matter of trash collection…!"
YOU SEE! Some people are never satisfied.
Meanwhile, the troupe of strangers made their way through the increasingly busy walkways. Merchants and travelers frequented the capital city often, but none gathered quite as many stares or responses as this group did. Besides the unusual choice of a massive unleashed jaguar as a pet (at which many were taken aback by), the five figures were draped in the dark fur of their animal counterpart - long robes of it melding into various other pelts enveloping their lower extremes. A hood made from the head of the jaguar pelt graced their faces; their dark eyes peering through the same sockets the animal itself had once seen through and ornate headdresses of different feathers fraying from behind the ears. They varied in size and shape - a particular one with a few pouches tied at the hip seemed to be quite small and curvy, one was obviously a muscle-bound behemoth while another thinner one brandished a twisted staff, and yet another crooked-looking fellow jittered around slightly. But they all wore ceremonial feathered shields tied to their backs, beads and assorted furs adorning their spindly legs. Their feet, along with what little skin was shown, was covered in mud and paint barely visible through bits and pieces; dry fragments clung to their coated toes poking out knotted straw sandals. As appearances dictated… they seemed to be a rough bunch.
The way they strode into town, all in a row, as if to announce their arrival as something significant, told the other passersby to stay clear. Their faces may not have been visible, but it was evident by their strides that they were of a warrior class.
A hush fell through the city as they made their way inward. Nothing but frightened looks and confusion painted the villagers' faces. As if to incite the response further, the jaguar hissed and swiped toward any that came too close. His luminous yellow eyes darted through the plethora of potential targets, but one made his maw salivate all too easily. A meek looking llama with mottled fur and a notched ear shook against its restraints; captive by the reins that held him to his potato-farmer owner's cart. The jaguar let out an intimidating roar and pounced. People nearby scattered and screamed… and the alerted vendor and his llama clung to each other, shrieking in terror. But just as the big cat hurtled toward them, he was yanked back and pulled to the ground.
A toned arm painted in amber resin had emerged from one of the travelers' cloaks and large claws covering the gnarled fingers were locked in a firm grip around the animal's tail.
"Down, Huaca… it's not time to feast just yet…" A deep scratching voice issued from the figure. He turned his limber form to the two cowering. "I'm sorry… he, like the rest of us…is just anxious to dine on the spoils of this kingdom…" He leaned forward, his toothy grin now visible to the quivering merchant and beast of burden. "…but… we can wait…"
The merchant gulped.
"Hey! You there!" a sharp cry rang out. The figure blinked and slowly turned his head. The rest of the jaguar gang stiffened up as they saw a guard approaching, however cautiously, with his spear drawn in front of him. A group of villagers were glued to his back, muttering frantically.
"I can't allow you to go any further into the city with that animal running about." The hard-nosed stiff barked. "If you don't want it put down, I suggest you restrain it… or leave. And do it quickly." A couple more identical soldiers began to file into the square.
Huaca's master lifted himself up and casually turned to face them. The villagers looked on curiously. He let a smirk grace his face. "… then again… we HAVE waited long enough…."
Looks of surprise were mirrored by everyone as a huge silhouette blanketed the crowd.
Back in the palace, Kuzco groaned in his seat and rubbed his temple.
"…and on the notion of summons deliveries…" Rudy persisted, " the scrolls are a little hard to open with my arthritis. If we could get the ribbons to be a little less taut, that would be much appreciated…"
"If… he doesn't shut up…." Kuzco muttered to himself.
"…oh! And the writing is a little unclear sometimes, maybe hire a new scribe while you're at it…"
Just as the emperor was about to loose it, he was interrupted by a cheerful squeak from behind. The squirrel, Bucky, chattered in amusement.
"Oh, ha ha ha… laugh all you want, Bucky… you're not the one who has to sit here for hours listening to this drivel."
"Hi there, Kuzco~!" Small voices chimed in unison as Pacha and Chicha's tikes popped out from behind either side of his throne.
"Whoa-oh… mites in the palace - I better call an exterminator." They laughed at his joke as they walked around to face him.
Chacka, on the left, currently wore a long-sleeved orange dress with a cord fastening it around the waist. Her hair was intertwined with ribbons as two locks of braids hung down in front of her. On her back, she toted the toddler Yupi in a bunched up in a carrying cloth fastened at her shoulders, who playfully grabbed her braids as if he was reining a llama. Tipo, on the right, was looking a lot like a younger version of his dad these days, complete with a trademark green poncho just his size. His short black hair bounced as he exuberantly jumped up and down.
"I caught a fish today by myself and then we gutted it." his face shifted. "It was gross."
"…And I lost yet another tooth!" Chacka whistled.
"You might want to watch it, Chacka. Pretty soon you'll be like gramps down there and have none…" Kuzco joked. She smiled in response, showing several gaps. "Hm.. Down there… wait! How'd you all get up here?"
"We climbed." They both answered, with an added "duh" from Chacka.
"Uh…huh…maybe I SHOULD invest in some lifts… I wouldn't want you all to fall… not to mention, your parents probably wouldn't like it very much either. Wasn't Kronk supposed to be watching you today?"
"There you kids are!" Kronk arrived on cue. "Haha, we haven't concluded our baking lessons yet…"
Bucky perched himself from the throne onto Kronk's shoulder, chirping happily. The big guy was decked out in the paint of an imperial guard which clashed heavily with the pink frilly apron he was wearing over his robes.
"But Kronk," Tipo whined, "we just wanted to give Kuzco some of our cookies!"
"Cookie!" Yupi pipped. He reached into the satchel and offered up a smaller bag.
Kuzco picked it up. "Aww… you guys…" He pulled the drawstring open and pulled out a cookie.
"Uh, K-Kuzco…" Kronk stammered.
Kuzco popped it in his mouth and was instantly met with a retching sensation. He struggled against the disgusting and dry flavor, covering his mouth in response.
Kronk winced. "Yeah… it was their first try…" He uttered in Kuzco's ear.
"Mm..mm..m… gah…" Kuzco swallowed through streaming tears. "De..li…cious…" He hacked up crumbs, ready to toss his own cookies.
Chacka looked on in astonishment. "Wow! He likes 'em so much, he's crying!"
"Give him another!" Tipo urged.
"NO! No…no…." The children looked puzzled at Kuzco's response. "I …wouldn't want to spoil my appetite…!"
The children seemed pleased with this and shrugged.
Outside, six shadows streamed across the cobblestone road, enigmatic shapes unhindered by anything - zipping along the ground like magic controlled purveyors of disaster. One by one, those who were touched by these mystic apparitions fell to their knees under a weight of grief, as if some cold hand had pulled all the happiness from them. Villagers and soldiers in pursuit issued no threat to the intangibles either. They too were covered in darkness as the trail before them erupted with the hollow screams of a mass of shades - opaque demonic creatures. Slowly but steadily, the mounting sea of shadows made its way up the green slopes, the rocky terrain, toward the golden steps that the palace was perched upon. Bounding ahead, their speed was unreachable, leaving their trackers to suffocate in the wake of wraiths slowly spreading outward.
Dark wisps sprung over the precipice that began the entrance into the palace - six pillars of obscurity grew up from the vertical incline. Stairways and walls lined with duo-dyed soldiers stirred as the figures landed before them. The red banners erected along the steps wafted against the icy gale that gushed forward.
The shadowy forms wriggled into their coherent shapes, brushing off their inscrutable façades. Yellow eyes and white fangs bared from the large felid creature at the front while the cloaked others approached confidently.
"Halt!" A guard cried out. "W-whatever you are… y-you are not allowed here without clearance from the emperor!"
"Clearance…?" The leader chuckled, twirling a clawed hand. "Oh we'll GET clearance…"
Chacka tisked at Rudy still rambling…
"…these floors are too slippery… someone could trip and sprain their ankle…"
While Tipo climbed into the throne with Kuzco. "My birthday's coming up soon." The boy replied.
"Oh yeah, already? How old are you going to be..?" Kuzco asked. Time sure did fly. "…a hundred?"
"What… nooooo! Seven!" He giggled.
"Really, now? Hm… maybe for you're birthday, I'll let YOU be emperor for a day." He placed his crown on the kid's head, the weight drooping over his eyes. "Sure would beat ME having to sit here."
"Heh heh I'd be like.. 'I'm the Emperor… Praise me!" He puffed his chest out and Chacka laughed, joining the play.
"Wooow, you sure are awesome, Emperor Tipo!"
"Yeah.." Kronk added, winking at Bucky on his shoulder and then at the kids, "Maybe even more than Kuzco…"
"Okay lets not get the boy's hopes up." Kuzco joshed.
Yupi cooed from Chacka's back. "Tipo not emper'r. He poo."
"What! I am not 'poo'!" The older brother returned.
"Mhm… Poo!" He then gave his sibling a look like 'so there.'
Chacka bounced the bag gently, just enough to startle the younger. "Yupi, not nice."
Tipo's face curled in disdain and it was evident he was ready to fire back some zinger.
"Okay okay…" Kuzco intervened, placing his crown back upon his own head. He couldn't help but smile at the funny children. Sibling rivalries was something he never had to deal with. "No fighting in the throne room…"
Just then, his attention was garnered by a frantic commotion outside. Within the halls, many servants dashed through, scrambling in and out of quarters. One of the interior guards sprinted past the main entrance doors, crying out and motioning to the other guards he saw. Puzzled looks and notions abounded as they ran towards the front of the palace to fight the unseen foe. Kuzco and the others stared toward the throne room doorway with curiosity, unaware of the turmoil beyond.
Rudy was unperturbed by the clamor though even as the throne room subjects and guards sifted past him, herded by a soldier.
"Sire!" the man threw himself down into a bow. "Intruders… in the palace!"
"WHAT!"
"We're trying to stop them but it's… like they're demons…!"
Just then, as if some invisible force rocketed them, a mountain of guards burst through the doorway flying through the air. Their bodies hurtled, flopping against the floor and walls with sickening sounds. Shrieks issued from unseen victims behind them. Kuzco and the others jumped in alarm.
"Uh oh…" Kronk replied, as he grabbed a lance from behind the throne. "this could get bad…" He threw his apron off over his shoulder and Bucky squeaked in agreement, standing alert with his tiny fists drawn.
Kuzco gave the kids an urgent look. "You three hide behind the throne."
"But…"
"Do it." They did.
He looked toward his men laying on the floor twisting in pain, the servants cowering in a corner, then anxiously at the entrance where cries of terror dwindled to an uncomfortable silence. He felt his heart beating in his ears. What was happening here? He desperately wanted to know how those beyond the entrance were faring, but panic glued him to his seat… and even if it hadn't he doubted he'd get very far. What kind of opponents could send the guards soaring into the air? Whoever these invaders were, it was obvious that they… were not normal.
The room suddenly grew dim and foreboding as if the sun had been blotted out. A chill overtook them all - their breath becoming visible. What was this? Black magic?
Through the bubble of bleakness, intimidating figures emerged, striding toward the elevated throne. Kuzco was sure his heart stopped.
From below, one of the soldiers struggled, his body pitted with nasty bruises and scrapes and his disposition greatly depressed. "We…couldn't stop them…"
"Yeah…. I… see that…" Kuzco almost said 'Thanks for the update' but figured sarcasm would further damper the already suffering guy's spirits. "Just relax there, buddy…." The man collapsed in a heap and Kuzco could not contain the look of concern. Kronk urged forward, stiffening his lip. He twittered something to Bucky who dashed off out of sight.
"Word's been sent to my militia…" he whispered to the emperor, his eyes transfixed on the scene before them. "They'll be here in no time."
Kuzco looked up. "You sure they can take these guys?"
"Aw yeah. They're awesome." Kronk broke a confident smile.
"Well, I know that and all… but uh… "
"Don't worry there, chief." Kronk quietly interjected, still not meeting his gaze. "Our job's to protect and serve you and that's what we're going to do."
There was some real weight behind those words.
"Whatever you say, pal…"
The jaguar's roar reverberated from below. The other five individuals formed a triangle behind him. The one directly behind the animal, his owner, lifted a mud-caked hand ending in black claw-like nails to cease the others. He walked passed Huaca with a sly, gleaming grin breaking across his mug. The rest of his face may have been hidden behind the jaguar headdress, but he still managed a look of annoyance as his head perked up abruptly… at the sound of an old voice accosting him.
"Excuse me, um…sir!" Oh no! Rudy! Kuzco had completely forgotten he was still down there. "I'm having an audience with the emperor right now… So, if you could just come back some other ti-"
With a swift movement, Rudy was batted to the side like nothing - knocked into the rest of the cowering subjects who toppled like pins.
Irritation snapped Kuzco out of any fear he had and words spewed from his mouth before he could control himself. "HEY! What's your deal? Just whatta ya think you're dong barging in here and then smacking the old guy? I mean, yeah, he IS kinda annoying… but you didn't have to smack him…!"
"My apologies… you're majesty…" the other's words, gravelly, were laced with bitterness, "I GUESS I did get carried away." He shrugged. "I just didn't wish there to be anymore delays." He flung his arms out melodramatically.
"Well, whatever you are, you definitely have my attention NOW." Kronk had to hold him back.
The figure grimaced but continued. "I…no, WE… have been waiting a long time to meet the illustrious emperor of the Four Regions…heh heh." He cackled madly.
"Eh 'heh heh'.." Kuzco mocked. "Wow, if you all were anymore clichéd evil I'd think you'd have your own lightning effects..."
"Eh… beg your pardon?" His brow furrowed. "You don't realize who you're talking to…"
"Oh no no, you're right. I don't. So please… PLEASE, enlighten me with, I'm sure, the eloquent introduction monologue you have prepared…"
"You are absolutely right, my young emperor!" He threw his fit arm forward, pointing a claw and flung back his hood to reveal a severely burned scarred face of caramel-colored skin with a black band painted across bulging eyes and globular schnoz, surrounded by splotches of dried red around his profile down to his neck blanketed in dark unkempt dreds of hair. His elephant ears were notched and along their edges were many asymmetrical piercings.
Aw geez! This guy could give Yzma a run for her money!
"I am Montezuma, of the Jaguar Warriors!" He roared. "My men and I have traveled here far from the north, making a name for ourselves amongst the tributaries as the most fearsome of warrior priests! We serve under the great Tezcatlpoca, lord of darkness, as envoys to his vengeance against those that harmed our kingdom…" He shook a fist wildly.
"Whoa… okay there Crazy, calm down. What are you going on about? I don't know a-ny-thing about a northern kingdom or this 'tackypocky' guy…"
"His name is Tezcatlpoca!" He screamed.
"Yeah okay, him, whoever… dunno…" Kuzco rolled his eyes, getting increasingly more annoyed. "What exactly does this all have to do with me?"
"Well, I admit, it doesn't have much to do with you really. In fact, I was actually expecting someone else… someone older… to be inhabiting the throne… but I guess I can't be too picky. Either way, we carry an important proposition to the Emperor."
Kuzco narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "Okay, spill it."
"It's not complicated really." He sighed and twirled his hand in the air. "Just give up your seat… and your life… and no one ELSE has to get hurt."
Kuzco caught his breath along with the rest of the onlookers. For a moment, they were frozen in shock. Kuzco stayed firm but his eyes nervously darted around the room. Upon seeing his people's horrified looks however, he knew he couldn't show his own anxiety. He chuckled heartily as Kronk cracked a nervous smile, not really understanding. "That's funny… did you hear that, Kronk? It's like they're declaring war on the kingdom or something…" He slapped his leg in feigned humor. "Haha, oh man… you guys are good. That has GOT to be the funniest thing I've heard all day!" He wiped a fake tear from his eye. "Shoo… do you realize how often I have to deal with death threats and psychos like you?" He spied the bewildered looks on their half-covered mugs. "I'll give you a hint. It's A LOT."
The jaguar leader looked around and then at the other five situated behind him who shook their heads in equal confusion. "I don't think you completely comprehend who's ACTUALLY in control of this situation. You only see what's before you, but beyond that entrance way there…" He extended a clawed hand behind him, toward the doorway, "Well… you could say your empire has already fallen…" He let a hoarse laugh escape. "Did you forget how easily we dispatched your guards?"
"Hm, yeah?" Kuzco nonchalantly wriggled a finger in his ear, then flicked a piece of wax off into the distance. "Well here's something YOU don't seem to comprehend? All that yap-yapping you're doing…? Yeah, that's kinda stupid. Because, yeah, you may have taken out all of the front guards, but uh…" He snapped his fingers and a horde more of guards surrounded the interior of the room lickety-split. "There's plenty more where they came from and the thing is; they're a lot tougher than those guys. Or… so I've been told…"
These hulking masses of testosterone seethed with bloodlust and brandished a multitude of weapons consisting of flails and swords. Their outfits were not like the other imperial guards' - purely skinned animal hides wrapped about their waists and their war paint consisted of black and indigo stripe patterns. These men towered over the rest of the attendants in the room like giants. Kronk sure knew how to pick 'em.
Bucky scampered back to Kronk's shoulder and chirped in salute. "Right on time, guys! Great job, Bucky," Kronk cheerfully replied, returning the squirrel's high-five with his index finger. He then turned to Kuzco "Good timing on that snap…"
"Of course, I'm the Emperor, hello?" He gloated. "I always make good cues."
"Ohhhh wait! I get it, you were just trying to buy them some time, weren't ya?"
Kuzco looked at him. "No Kronk, I just like mouthing off to a group of psychotic sorcerers…"
"Oh okay then…" He replied, not getting the gist of sarcasm.
Kronk's militia let out hollers and pounced. "For the empire!" One by one, the titans converged on the jaguar warriors, throwing themselves into battle.
The five and their cat braced for the retaliation, the leader lifting his scarred head back toward the emperor. "I take it that your answer's a … 'no' ?"
Montezuma swung his arms out and on command, a swirling vortex of shadow swept out from underneath them. "Consider your empire now doomed to the same fate you will face…!" The twirling shadow bloomed out a menagerie of ghastly spirits which split off toward the various opponents. Kuzco worriedly watched as the militia dodged and evaded with expertise, but the well-trained soldiers could not attack creatures that had no physical form. The dark spirits lunged toward them, and as they struck, it was almost as if the will had been taken from the men. They doubled over in despair and suddenly became shrouded in shadow themselves. One reached out toward his comrades as he was overtaken by darkness.
"It.. It's so cold! Help me!" He shrieked. Kuzco was petrified with terror. It was one thing to know these people had supernatural powers at their will… but to actually see it in action caused him to instantly regret not just giving up. As the shadows took on the guards in the dark twister, he was sure he could hear coarse maniacal laughing. His head began to spin in panic. What was he supposed to do? The Militia was their last defense.
He could vaguely hear a voice calling his name. "Kuzco!" Kronk shook him viciously. "You and the kids have to get out of here!"
What? The kids? "Whoa…" a tiny voice swooned. It was Tipo from behind the throne. "This is so awesome…"
Kuzco startled. "Yeah, okay…" He swiveled himself around the cathedra and snatched the three youngsters up. He had to get himself together. "Make sure you guys don't get killed… and save some for me. I'm sure a few decades in prison will reason those guys up." If they could even be captured...
"Haha, don't worry!" Kronk laughed as he disappeared over the incline, jumping into the foray below.
But Kuzco did worry. He worried about the guards he was leaving behind. He worried about Kronk and all the servants still captive in the corners of the room. He worried about what was left outside. But most of all, he worried about how he was supposed to get away. He didn't want to run - that wasn't his style! He wanted to be there with his men no matter the outcome, but he couldn't put the kids in danger. He grasped the rope that was secured to the side of the stairs with his free hand, slid down and quickly landed into a sprint.
Montezuma spied them escaping through the back. Amidst the commotion and turmoil of warriors getting tossed to and fro, he gracefully walked toward their exit - savoring the idea of draining all life from his enemy…
"Hey, what's up!" Kronk pushed himself in front of the slightly shorter male, brandishing his spear at his side. Montezuma looked at the big guy puzzled for a second, and then perturbed.
"Fool! Move aside!"
"Uh, no can do there. You want to get to them… you have to make it past me…" Kronk flashed that confident smile again.
Montezuma just let out an exasperated sigh and shot a wisp of shadow toward the lovable lug. Which, he dodged happily. "Oop, too slow there!" Montezuma twitched, and shot at him again; a larger shadow this time. Kronk doubled back into a flip, landing on all fours. "Nope, didn't get me there either…" Montezuma growled in aggravation and unleashed a sphere of shadows at him… then several… then a fury of furies… and with each attack, Kronk comically evaded - bumbling but swiftly. "Sorry there guy, but ah… my men and I have been trained by the animals of the forest…" he struck a pose, twirling the spear to his front. "to be as cunning as a wolf, agile as a condor… and uh…" Bucky pranced to his side, whispering something into his ear, "oh right… smart as a squirrel…"
"Well, that certainly explains a lot." Montezuma countered, throwing yet another shadowy blast from his hands. Kronk and Bucky ducked, only to allow the blast a complete bulls-eye on the unsuspecting soldier behind them that was busy fighting a two-headed shadowy serpent. The man howled in anguish as he was floored.
"Oh no… Jereld… are you okay?" Kronk rushed to his side. The other just gurgled as his skin was painted a dark grey. "Jereld… think about your wife and kids! STAY WITH ME MAN…. JERELD!" Jereld passed out. "Noooooo!"
Montezuma cried out to his feline companion. "Huaca! After the Emperor!"
The jaguar obeyed his command, sprinting off after the escapees.
"The rest of you…" He motioned to the other four cloaked ones who had been playfully biding their time zapping through the horde. "Let us take care of these hindrances first…" The rest of the militia, along with the attendants in the corner, readied themselves for what they were sure was the last day of their lives.
Kronk jerked his head toward them. "Well, drat."
Kuzco slid along the opulent corridors amassed with red and gold banners, throwing back curtains and pushing down anything he could get hold off...to maybe stave off their pursuer. Clatters echoed through the halls as statues that had been there for centuries fell. It pained him to see such beauty wasted, but there was no time to think on saving inanimate objects when there was lives to be saved.
The place seemed so empty. Where was everyone? He hoped they had just taken the cue to evacuate themselves, but he couldn't help wondering if something else had happened.
He fumbled with the kids. Chacka managed to climb onto his back with Yupi clutching the satchel, but Tipo was getting bounced up and down from underneath his arm.
"uuhh.. … I think I'm going to be sick…" He managed.
"Hey hey hey, don't be losing it right now buddy!"
A raging growl emanated from behind them and Kuzco turned his head sharply to see Huaca bounding over the obstacles after them.
Kuzco let out an alarmed scream and kicked his legs up faster than he thought he could muster. His heart was racing. His chest ached and droplets of sweat raced down his brow. One driblet went into his eye, causing him to squint, and for that brief moment he smacked right into the wall. He spun around, dazed and panicked, still hearing the jaguar behind them. He fought to gain control of where he was going through the spinning scenery, but his legs just slipped from under him against the polished floor, and he tumbled, chin first, down the following sets of stairs, losing his crown on the way. Chacka and Yupi bobbed on his back with every step and Tipo was rescued from being squashed by Kuzco's upraised arms
The jaguar watched in amusement.
One by one, the collection of steps hit him until he came to a rest at the bottom. He rubbed his chin as he feebly picked himself up. Okay, so maybe Rudy had some reason to complain after all. His crown clanged against the floor after them.
Again the jaguar's growling issued and Kuzco barely had time to react as the big cat pounced behind them. He fell back and cried out in terror, as well as the kids cowering behind his back. They were going to die. There was no way he could run now. They were going to die! The kids bawled out, snapping him back to sanity. No, he had to get them out of this. His mind sped as the feline approached little by little, drooling. Backpedaling slowly on his elbows with the children behind, Kuzco whipped a look around at the surroundings, spying an open doorway a ways behind them. His arm hit the side of his dismounted crown and his eyes widened in an idea.
"Look… You all make a run for that doorway and I'll follow…"
"What!" Chacka whispered loudly. "What if the jaguar gets you…?"
"Don't worry about it.. That's… not gonna happen…" though he wasn't sure he sounded convincing.
"No…"
"Hey, I'm the emperor! You have to do what I say remember? Now, go on!" He shoved back at them with his arm as hard as he could, propelling them onward into a run. Huaca made a mad dash toward them and Kuzco had to make his move. He grabbed his crown and swung it right as the cat leapt. The ornament beamed Huaca right in the mug and he yelped in pain and surprise. The feline preened its nose with its paw, momentarily pausing to gather himself from the affliction.
Kuzco hurriedly dashed off toward the direction he sent the kids and spied them in the opening.
"Hurry!"
"Hurry!"
He slipped inside the room just as Huaca was coming to. He yanked at the double doors. One closed, but of course the other, to his right, had to jam, caught by interference of the runner rug. Kuzco shoved at it, then kicked at it. "Oh, give me a break!" He threw his back into a push as the youngsters pulled the runner taut, causing him to fall flat on his back and the door to swing right on Huaca. The big cat slammed into the door, pitting his weight against it. Kuzco struggled to keep the door shut, heeling the rug in front of him, as the cat urged his giant paw through the opening. The young emperor put his body against the door, desperately trying to fight the cat from getting in - its paw swiping at him dangerously. With one last effort, Kuzco lunged, elbowing the doorway closed as a pain slashed against his right arm. "Yow!"
He clutched his arm and slumped against the door in pain, breathing through clenched teeth. That smarted. He couldn't actually recall a time he'd been cut. For a moment, upon realizing that he was bleeding, he thought he was going to faint.
He felt and heard the scratching of the cat's claws at his back, but the kids were on it. Nimbly, Tipo climbed into Chacka's arms as she lifted him above her head, as if a couple of acrobats, and he pushed the bolt across the door handles, locking it. Indignant cries and hisses from the other side allowed them a relieved sigh.
The youngsters looked at the older.
Chacka gasped. "You're bleeding!"
Tipo looked away quickly, "Oh…" and just lost his lunch right there, "…that did it."
"Ewwww!" the rest exclaimed.
Kuzco's face twisted. "Ugh, you couldn't have waited until we got you home?"
"Sorry… I… I'm not feeling good." Between his nerves, getting bounced around and apparently being a little squeamish, it was only a matter of time.
"Ah, don't worry about it. And this is just a scratch anyway…" Truthfully, it WAS quite a BIG 'scratch'. He lifted himself up against the pain and lumbered further into the room.
It was one of the extra living quarters, for guests or palace aides, decorated in the usual red. It was a lot smaller than his room of course, but it had all the necessities; a nice well-made bed, a vanity and a wardrobe. Everything was perfectly placed, making it seem as if no one had lived in this particular room in a while and probably hadn't. There was so many rooms in the palace that he didn't even know where half of them were or well, had cared to know.
Curtains draped over the window blew against the chilly wind. He ripped at one quickly, tearing it just enough so that he could wrap it around his wound. He tied it tight, flinching, then turned back to the kids.
"Good thing your mom's a good teacher, otherwise I'd probably have bleed to death." He joked. This seemed to lighten their mood a little. "Now…" He mused, "We… have to get out of here…" He poked his head out of the hole in the wall.
He widened his eyes in astonishment. They were still off the ground a ways but that wasn't what really caught his attention. The window peered out toward the back of the palace where several aqueducts ran down the crags of the mountain toward the interlaced town and hills below. The carved structures, monolithic engraved walls and streets were overlaid with a spectral mist, black as soot, and hardly visible. From the height he could not make out much else, but was sure that the inhabitants below were not in good condition.
His body quaked. He could not keep his hands from trembling as he clutched the windowsill. He pulled his head back inside the room, lost in his thoughts. The kingdom was in darkness. The Kingdom of the Sun was enveloped in darkness! The situation really dawned on him. These people… he didn't know who they were…but they obviously had no problem attacking anyone that got in their way, maybe even killing them. They had strange-shadow-magic-whatever-powers and from what he could tell, wanted to take over the kingdom because of some grudge they harbored …? He let his mouth get away from him too, and now everyone was in danger. He thought back to what Montezuma had uttered. 'Consider your empire now doomed to the same fate you will face… '
He gritted his teeth and let himself fall to the floor, still gripping the edge of the window. He should've just given up! What difference did running away even make? It was like 'Monty' had said, the kingdom was already taken over. He tapped his forehead against the wall repeatedly. "Stupid, stupid, stupid… we're all gonna die and it's all my fault…"
"What, we're gonna die!?" Tipo cried out. Yupi started whining and Chacka just looked back and forth, not really knowing what to do or say to comfort anyone.
"… I can't do anything… we're doomed. We either get eaten by a jaguar or swallowed by darkness…"
Chacka panted. "But… but I DON'T WANT TO DIE. I want to see Mom and Dad again!" Kuzco stopped. Chacka couldn't contain her tears anymore and started to whimper. "We all do!" The boys looked astonished at their strong big sister crying and the three of them huddled together in distress.
Kuzco blinked. Right. He wanted to see them too. He wanted them to see them.
"Okay, fine, have it your way…" He shrugged. The kids ceased and looked up confused. He snatched them up and headed toward the window. "I don't really like this idea, I hope you all know… but I figure I have a better chance of surviving a fall than I do surviving a jaguar mauling..." He took a minute to think on that but straddled the window sill. "Now, you three get on my back, hold tight as you can, don't look down and definitely don't tell me about how high off the ground we are either." The three did, through sniffles and whines. "Look you all are gonna have to stop doing that in my ear - it's making me nervous." He slowly situated his body and lowered his foot to the embossed panel below, keeping a grasp on the window. It felt way too far away. The wind blew against them and he clutched the side of the exterior wall frantically. "Oh man, I KNEW this was a bad idea…"
He crept gradually along the side of the building, his head poking just over the window panel now. Looking within the room for a second, he could barely see movement from underneath the door. Then a loud banging… and the door literally started shaking against the barred lock. He caught his breath and tried creeping faster. Horrified, his foot slipped and off went his sandal down… down… down into the darkness below. He paused and swallowed his fear.
He reached for the nearest scored decoration, but his arm hurt against his wound. He winced and the wind smashed against them again. It was picking up. He stared at the panel just out of his reach, taunting him. He stretched, fighting against the pain, not really wanting to let go of the window either as it was the only anchor he had to keep him from falling. The kids clutched his shoulders but he felt as if one was slipping.
Tipo squealed. "I think I'm falling!"
"Tipo, don't you dare!"
"I am… I am falling… HELP!" He fell.
"TIPO!" the other two screamed.
Kuzco seized him at the waist, swinging back roughly against the window. "Gah, geez, what is UP WITH YOU TODAY?" The kid looked through covered eyes, spying the distance below between his fingers and instantly started flailing. "Hey… STOP, you have to stop doing that!" Kuzco exclaimed. "Look, I got a bad arm, remember… ouch!"
Slamming from inside the room attracted him. The door flung open, the barred lock and door handles blasting off their hinges. Kuzco could go nowhere in this situation and watched in terror as a figure made their way in.
"Oh whoa! Kuzco! What are you doing there, chief!" Kronk quickly ran to the window and pulled the three back inside. Bucky chattered, still on his shoulder. Kronk patted the emperor on his back as the kids dropped to the floor. "You almost gave me a heart attack, hanging out of the window like that! Haha, crazy."
Kuzco laughed nervously. "Haha, oh man.. Yeah that WAS crazy. But at least you ran that jaguar off that was chasing us…"
Kronk looked confused. "Jaguar? Uh…?" He scratched his head in thought as Huaca appeared from behind the collapsed doors, creeping up on the group. Kuzco and the kids stared at the approaching cat, as Kronk recalled, blissfully unaware. "Hm… yeah there WAS a jaguar, wasn't there?"
Kuzco briskly spun the bloke around so that he was facing the feline. "Ohhhh…. Right. It was THIS jaguar. Yup." He stood there for a minute, just smiling. Then he blinked. Then the rest blinked. Then the cat growled. "AHHHH A JAGUAR!" Kronk flipped the bed toward the cat and pushed with all his might, knocking over everything in his wake and ramming Huaca back through the doorway. The cat was flipped hilariously down the hall and the group made a dash.
Kronk grabbed everyone up in his arms. "Hey, I got a question. Where are we running?"
"Toward the aqueducts!" Kuzco urged.
Kronk bounded over the staircases leading out of the back of the palace. The place was dark and quiet, not a soul stirred or a sound was heard, except for Kronk's heavy breathing.
He spied a bridge overlooking one of the channels and a small fishing boat. He tossed the rest of the peeps into it and untied it from it's post, drifting it into the current. He grabbed up the oar and began to stroke, but Kuzco's hand stopped him.
"Wait… let me off this thing." He announced.
"Uh, what now?"
"Look, Kronk.. You need to get the kids back to their parents. I… need to stay here with the palace. Going down with the ship and all that, right?" Kronk just looked at him. "I mean, I can't just run away, right? I'm too much of a fighter for that… heh heh." He was really trying to convince himself more than anything. "I… I just can't leave while the rest of 'em are still trapped by those nutcases. I have to know what's going on! I have to know what happened to everyone. I… I'm the emperor, Kronk!"
Kronk looked intently at him, then slightly bemused. "You're right there, Kuzco, you're the emperor. And as your subordinate, uh wait.. No… as your friend…" At this, Kuzco gaped. "I really hate to do this to you again…"
"Huh?" Kronk bonked him upside the head with the oar, knocking him out. The kids and Bucky huddled around his collapsed body.
"Why'd you have to do that?" Chacka asked. "He was already hurt, you know…"
Kronk frowned with a look of seriousness to him that was very uncharacteristic. "Yeah…" He glanced at Kuzco's arm and opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a felid snarl.
The youngsters squealed as Huaca landed on the embankment and paced, hissing and debating on how to reach them. Kronk watched as the cat strode. "Huh… looks like the kitty's afraid of a little water. I think we'll be okay, kids." He pushed off with the oar down the flume.
Huaca eyed his prey, judging the distance. Kronk turned toward the stream and veered the boat into the opening that led outside. Huaca roared and made a rush off the ledge, diving toward the boat, claws at the ready. The children screamed. Kronk spun around wielding the oar in his arms like a mace just in time to crack it against the creature's skull. The cat's limp body splashed into the channel and the boat bumped up and down with the dangerous ebbing of the water. Kronk stared at the floating corpse gravely.
"Whoa…." Tipo gasped. "You… you killed it."
Kronk sniveled. "I generally hate hurting animals… but… it had to be done…" He bite his index finger in distress as he looked away.
"Well, yeah. I mean, it was going to KILL us."
"Shh, Tipo… an animal is only as evil as it's owner…" He frowned. "And…." he breathed through flaring nostrils, "They ARE evil…" He thought back to all he had witnessed in the throne room. Kuzco wanted to know what happened to the rest, but he wasn't sure he wanted to tell him. Visions of shadows and demons overtaking the attendants and his fellow guards… He didn't want the same fate to fall them.
But, as the water picked up toward the exit, it seemed as something else would fall upon them… or rather… they were falling. They let out cries as the dinghy bounced against the bumpy channel that fed into the mountain side. The dark scenery soon enveloped them as they receded toward the jungle.
Montezuma and the rest of the cloaked entourage sauntered to the edge of the aqueducts and lifted their pet out of the water. The smallest of the group put a hand to Montezuma's shoulder.
"I'm sorry…" came her voice. "It's hard to believe they actually got away from Huaca…. And that they could do this to him…"
Montezuma gritted his teeth. "Huaca is irreplaceable to me. But… we must think of this as even more of a reason to exact our revenge. Besides… he did manage to help us out in the end…" He lifted the jaguar's still blood stained paw. "We have all we need right here."
Wow, that was… pretty climactic… I wonder if we survived that fall.
Heh heh, yeah…! And oh, Creep-o's comments aren't exactly comforting…. soooo… we're gonna take a break here, ya know, so I can - I mean YOU can - get your bearings. Take a nap, go for a walk, watch my movie… somn-somn MORE enjoyable than THESE people trying to kill me - pfft-yeah! Drama's for the llama's, y'all!
