A/N: JK Rowling did not specify if Lavender Brown was killed in the battle of Hogwarts. She did specify that she was attacked by Greyback, and was severely injured, and so for the purpose of this story, she was not killed, just badly scarred. So thank you, and do not review that she was dead, because that was open for speculation. Gracias.:)
Disclaimer: If I was JK Rowling, I would be busy opening Pottermore so I could finally get on, not writing Fanfiction.
In her opinion, Lavender Brown was not only one of the lucky few at the Battle of Hogwarts; she was one of the luckiest few. The lucky ones had survived the Battle, like Parvati and a lot others, but the luckiest were the ones who were so close to dying, like herself and Bill Weasley (who happened to have almost the same situation as her). It was a horrible thought that being in that much pain made you lucky, but Lavender had her reasons for thoughts like this.
She had thought that by some miracle she had been attacked by that Death Eater werewolf, Greyback. Being on the verge of death had opened her eyes to the cold, hard, reality she didn't want to face. She knew what a horrible person she had been before the War, and it made her sick to even think that that obsessive, backstabbing, fake girl she saw when she thought back was even herself. Even that depressed, broken-looking girl staring back at her with a sad look on her face when she looked in the mirror was better than who she used to see.
In fact, she even saw a glimpse of all of this truth during her seven years at Hogwarts, but quickly pushed it away in her mind, believing it to be a figment of her imagination. As Hermione Granger, one of the people she was the most horrible to, cursed Greyback off of her limp and mangled body, she saw it all. Everything she had ever done. Maybe if Hermione hadn't been the one to help her, she wouldn't have seen it at all. No words could show how grateful she was that Hermione found the kindness in her heart to save her life.
All of her friends and housemates said she wasn't bad at all, but she knew the truth. She wasn't as bad as some, like Pansy Parkinson, but she was just as horrible in her own way.
In retrospective, some divine force had selected her for another chance at doing good and fixing everything that she had done before. She was grateful for her other chance. She knew how difficult it was going to be to fix everything she did, but the guilt inside her was eating her whole, so she would do anything to fix it.
Lavender hated herself. She hated her wolfish face marred with scars. She hated all of the healing cuts and bruises carved into her skin all around her body. She hated her clingy personality and how she was so obsessive. She hated how she looked at people from the outside, and she failed to notice the true beauty and kindness that was inside. She hated how mean she was because she thought she was better than other people. She hated how jealous she got over everything, and even more than that, how she responded to that jealousy: with hurtful words and gossip. Lavender hated every possible inch to hate of herself. She hated herself inside and out.
After a long time of thinking, she decided that she was a victim, and rightfully so. No amount of horribleness would change that fact. She hated to admit it to herself, but she was also the perpetrator. She had done bad things, and she was going to fix them, no matter what the cost. This idea gave her a weird sense of security, but didn't stop her from hating herself, and slowly falling into a dark depression.
A/N 2: I honestly have no idea where I am going with this story, but I have basic ideas. I'm guessing from here the story is probably going to be about 10 chapters, but it might get longer, but not shorter. There will be dialogue and a plot, but this chapter was just warming up and giving a back story to my story. I'm admitting that before this, Lavender was probably my least favorite character. Writing from her view sort of makes me understand her a bit more, and she's growing on me. So, I know this is expected, but pleeeasseee review! It makes me super happy!:)
