Disclaimer: I do not own D gray man.
Summary: What does Allen think about white?
A/N: Sorry if there was bad grammar, so please forgive. And, Happy birthday, Allen.
The day he met Mana was Christmas, which also his birthday, was an important day which change his life.
That day, the town covered in a clear white of snow.
The new beginning.
That's maybe the meaning of white.
Today was Christmas, the Black Order was more energetic than usual. Miranda was helping the finder to prepare the party. Komui was chatting with Krory in his room. Timothy was playing excitingly around the Christmas tree. The big green tree was decorated by several glorious light bulbs and on top was a silver cross.
"It's lucky that this time Jerry-san wasn't sick, ne?" Allen smiled. The last time, Jerry was sick and they had to prepare themselves, which was lead to trouble, with Kanda's short temper. Luckily, the party ended well, although Kanda just ate his soba as always.
"You right!" Lavi beamed, Lenalee happily nodded. And our beloved Samurai just simply "Hn."
"Well, Kanda-san, this time you better gave up your Soba addictive. I mean, how could you eat soba in Chrismas?" Allen looked at Kanda, almost smirking.
"None of your business, Moyashi." He said annoyingly.
"That's not very nice of you, Bakanda." Allen smirked, clapped his hand. "You barely remember my name, maybe your brain was filled with soba, tch tch tch. Are you sure that you don't need to go to the nurse to check up?"
"Che. If you want to go to the hospital that much..." Kanda took out his Mugen. "Then stand still and let Mugen slice yo... Ack!" His threat was interrupted by a quick head-chopped of Lenalee. "Kanda! No Mugen in Christmas." Lavi patted his shoulder, laughed. "Lena-chan right, Yuu-chan~ Let your temper go ~"
"Don't call me that, roasted usagi!" Kanda growled, chased a happily Lavi around the room. Lenalee however asked Allen. "Hey, today is your birthday right?"
"Eh... yes... But it isn't important anyway..." Allen said, uncomfortably. Lenalee gave him a unsastified look.
"Geez, Allen! Don't think that way! Your birthday is very important, don't slack it off."
"I'm sorry, Lenalee." Allen whispered, Lenalee smiled brightly. "Don't worry Allen, you should smile more!"
"Yeah right! The Black Order didn't have much holiday, so enjoy, Allen! After all, this day is the most important to you!" Lavi jumped in and hugged Allen behind his back, although to hide away from the anger of the second exorcist.
Allen thought, Lavi's right.
This day is the most important to me.
To Kanda, is just a stupid holiday.
To Lavi, it was a fun day. To Lenalee, maybe not that special.
To the world, today is the day God born.
To Allen, it was more than that.
It was the day he was born
It was the day Mana came to his life.
He looked at outside, only to see the large layer of snow, as the snowflake falling.
Tenderly falling, a white glow.
Angelic and peaceful, as white.
"Come on Allen! Join us!" Lenalee and Lavi waved at him, stood near the long table which full of food. Allen smiled, and ran to them.
He never bothered about his white hair. It was maybe made him looked like an old geezer, but that's okay.
This hair reminds him of Mana. The painful memory that he could never forget.
"Mana, do you want him back?"
Right, that day. The day Earl came to him, it also a snowy day.
White. The color of heaven. Of Innocence.
He always believe Mana's word.
Keep moving forward.
White as faith.
I love you.
The piano room in the Ark is completely white, wasn't it? From the floor and wall, to the chair, even the piano.
He wondered why.
The color of white, mean many things.
Humility? Perfection? Sincerity? Cleanliness?
It was hard to understand, the meaning of the color in that room.
Or to Allen, it was just simply brought back old memory.
He felt cold.
He defeated the Earl, he succeed.
And then fall down.
His blood painted red to the snow. So exhausted.
Keep moving forward.
His leg was too tired to moved. No comrades, friends, of him could move.
They succeed to end the war.
Was it not?
Death is the color of desperation.
White is the color of death.
Of nothing. Like him now.
Who said that black and white was that different?
It was similar than it was.
His vision was blurring. His throat felt dry. His hand couldn't move, as it broke. His innocence was bleeding heavily.
To everyone, this was the great loss.
To the central, this was just a small sacrifices.
To him, this is an end, nothing more.
He looked at his friend, whispered softly.
"K...an...da? L...av...i? Lena...cough... lee? Are you the..re?"
"Shut up... moyashi, you are damn... annoying." Kanda growled, Lavi and Allen only chuckled mentally. In the end, he still keep that grumpy attitude.
"So... this is the... end huh?" Lavi smiled. "Actually, I thought our life had end from the Ark inciden...t.." His voice faded slowly.
That time, indeed a miracle.
But, nothing twice.
"At least... the Earl... was defeated." Lenalee whispered in relief.
They all laugh, remembered the past.
They promised to meet again, even if they don't remembered.
In heaven. In after life. Or maybe another universe.
Their laugh faded in the church bell. Four exorcist, lied peacefully in the snowy white.
White as their last vision. Void. Nothing more than zero.
Christmas was the day he born.
Christmas was the day he met Mana.
Christmas was the day Mana died.
And it also the day he died.
How ironic.
White is the color of emptiness.
White is the color of heaven.
White is the color of death.
Truly ironic, my friend.
Then what's the meaning of that room? Emptiness? Peaceful? Death?
If it wasn't, then...
Allen didn't know what he thought about white.
White, it was more complicated than it should be.
End
