Hi! I've been really excited to post this! It's the first fanfic I'm going to post on here. It's PATROME, in case you didn't notice! And I'm new to this, but I think I know how to get around...sorta. Does this mean it's disclaimer time? I guess so, and don't worry. I'm not going to do those tacky disclaimers where the characters make "funny" jokes. Either way, once you're done reading, please review. Is Patricia out of character? Is my writing bad? Don't take it easy on me because I'm new. Review honestly. Give me constructive criticism. I don't mind. ;) And please, when you're done, take the time to go to my profile and take the poll. Also, I know this isn't necessary, but don't expect this much for my future chapters. I tried really hard to expand this, and it came out to 2,400 words even. I'm proud. The quality isn't totally my best though. Oh well. I tried.
So, please review and take the poll on my profile! And if you want, scroll down to see the progress on this fanfic, and other upcoming ones I might write!
Disclaimer: I do not own House of Anubis, unfortunately.
Futile. Ugly. Overrated. Disgusting. Unconcerning. Useless. Ridiculous. A Hallmark's Holiday. THAT is what Valentine's Day is, and what will always be to me. Perhaps I was being completely bitter and cruel to have thought this about a very well-liked day to a lot of people, especially girls like me. But, that's just my perspective. Maybe it was because I was a loner, a single little teenage girl who was being sullen after not being involved in an intimate relationship or not becoming particularly infatuated with a boy, but I just had no interest in it...until now. Maybe my hormones had come in late or something, but recently a really annoying feeling has been inhabiting and engulfing my entire soul. Tacky, I know. But I'm just not sure of anything anymore. I feel completely NOT in control. If you know me, this would sound like a lie. Patricia Williamson does not have time for nonsense. And she will not cease to being intimidated. She will definitely NOT get her "knickers in a twist" over a guy. But that's just it. That's exactly what happened.
Once upon a time, a girl named Patricia Williamson, who was stubborn and headstrong, began to fall for a boy. For the first time in her life, she felt somewhat whole. Not as pessimistic as usual, her friends were worried. She had an extra spring to her step and felt irrevocably light no matter how hard she tried to repress this new dangerous feeling. And recurring dreams were haunting her each and every night, however, she was not technically repentant of having them. Not one bit actually. Because, they were of him. At first, she had struggled enormously with these fantasies of minor affection, but she had grown to except them. And boy did she except them now. She almost prayed or wished every day right before bed that he would reappear in her dreams again. She wanted to feel his soft lips brush against her cheek once again. It soon became an addiction you see, because each day that dreaded holiday came closer, the more effective and real the dreams became. Every night, the dream became more vivid, the emotions and sensual feelings became stronger, and the closer he was to taking her in his grasp and kissing her with all his might. These simple acts that strengthened every day strengthened her too. Patricia Williamson was being enlightened. And as the day approached, more hope began to build and thoughts of love on the once-stupid day spiraled on the brink of her mind.
Who was this boy you may ask? One of my very best friends indeed. No matter how crazy and out of state I was, I wasn't a loon. I didn't fall for someone who I didn't know. Not just someone I had once acknowledged. The person I picked to be my first "crush" as they say was someone who had been by my side always. Someone who I had known for a long time. Since I was seven actually. I smiled unintentionally at the thought. And if you didn't realize it yet, yes, this boy was the one and only, Jerome Clarke; the extremely cute guy with the big gelled dirty blonde hair, deep icy blue eyes, King of Pranks, Blackmail Extraordinaire, the egotistical maniac, slimeball, weasel, and most importantly, the guy I liked. Of course, I'd never tell him, but I mean every single word despite the fact that I always teased him.
Uh huh. I know what you're all thinking. Who in the world is this girl, and what has she done to Patricia? I'm not that up in the air and confused up to the point as to me not realizing that this was ground-breaking. I realized that this was very unusual. I knew that most people would not suspect it. I found that a good part though. But the thing was, this was not like me. I looked the same, but something had changed me. I wasn't as indifferent anymore. I suddenly began looking over myself in the mirror every morning before I went downstairs. I was utterly self-conscious now. In the loo, I even got more precise with my make-up! And now, I'm just fifty times more judgemental towards myself. I speculated everything about me and I wondered what he thought of me. I felt like everywhere I went, he was there, surveilling my each and every move. It scared me because I was being constantly urged to improve myself, and I didn't feel confident whatsoever. It's like...his presence had notched down my self esteem by a lot, almost to the point where I was scared shit.
So here I lie, in my bed, buried in covers, feeling too hot, yet still shivering. I hid my face from everything else in the room and began to play with my blankets. The sheets were over my face, so I was peering at light through the thick fabric. I found it quite beautiful because it was like my own personal light show, designed for me. Different rays of colors shone in and sparkled. I was bewildered at how it was doing that. It was somewhat mesmerizing. I felt like a giddy little child hopped up on candy, but it was nice because it finally gave me the chance to forget about Jerome.
Usually, I'd be enthralled to think about him. But now, I was just nervous. Mr. Winkler had assigned a project for our whole drama class. And we had to write a romance scene. It wouldn't matter, right? I could just stand in the back and not participate that much. Until he said that Jerome and I had to be the leads because we were the two who didn't pay attention the most. UGH. That would be an adventure. And shouldn't this be a good thing you may ask, NO it isn't. Because now, as you might have realized, I was really self-conscious. What if he didn't want to do the scene with me? What if he just ditched? What if we had to KISS? WHAT IF my heart broke into a million pieces?
My life was not getting better. I curled up into a ball and hugged my stomach. I practically felt like crying. I wasn't used to all this emotional distress. How could I EVER deal with this? How could ANYONE deal with this? I basically almost had a breakdown during dinner with him next to me, so I turned in early. Which left me tons of time to contemplate about everything. While it made me smile to think about him, it also hurt me. I've never experienced this before, but it was just so painful. I had a this lump in my throat and even when I drank water, it wouldn't continue to slip down my throat and wash away. And there was another pain that was even worse that I couldn't identify this time. It was a different type of pain though. I couldn't determine the spot where it was-the tip of my throat or my chest-but it was a low throb and it hurt me because it definitely wasn't pleasant even if it wasn't strong. It was like those low sounds that reoccur and go on and on, but even if they weren't loud, they'd still bother you.
But on the other hand, the sweet things made my face brighten up; my cheeks flushed a faint pink, my cheekbones tightened, and my shiny white teeth gleamed. It just really really made me happy. I didn't even understand why, but it did. Just thinking of him and I together. Since I'd known him basically my whole life, I had so many cute wonderful memories to look back on and I knew that it would keep me up the whole night if I wanted to recount every single one of them. Because I knew that I'd replay the really good ones over and over again. Sooner or later, five hours was going to pass with me thinking it's only been thirty minutes.
The thing was that I also had bad memories. Ones that would crush me from the inside out. I knew that he liked Mara. More than he would ever probably like me. He asked her out on a date and would do anything for her. While with me, if I asked him for help, he'd say "Do it yourself" unless it had to do with a manipulative scheme.
But then, I always had this theory. I didn't know if it was because I liked him or if I was being sincere with myself, but I thought that he maybe, just maybe, might like me back. And yes, this was my girly side talking. But sometimes there was just this thing between us. Like if he scored a date with a girl, he'd NEVER tell me. I'd have to spy from a few feet away and then stifle a groan once I heard him boast about the "new bimbo chick." And if someone else like Alfie brought it up while I was there, he'd always be suddenly reluctant to brag about it out loud, and glance at me right before he would mumble a short answer. And when the whole Anubis group was out together, he'd always just stare at me. I always stared back and his eyes would never leave mine until I looked away. These looks weren't just ordinary. They were sweet almost flirtatious type looks. And it confused me how he never noticed that I batted my eyelashes when those stares came into play. I never really realized I did it either until now, but I just thought, 'Wow, I'm such a flirt.' These simple stares just gave me hope because those looks really make my day.
And no, those are not ALL of my "telltale" signs. What also kept me from becoming bleak was him always being by my side. Whenever I tossed my head to the side, he'd be right there. And when he was there, he was always so close, to the point where our arms were pressing against each other. And you know what, him being just inches away from me, made my heart skip a beat, literally.
I was lost in thought. I never heard the clock tick. I didn't notice when Captain Curfew dropped his pin. The only thing on my mind were those eyes. Those beautiful eyes that seemed to change color whenever you saw them. Sometimes a cold blue, a light grey, or even, sometimes a dark black. That's when I heard the door slam.
I threw my covers to the side and looked up. Right there, was Mara sliding against the door sighing in one of those aww ways. She looked starstruck and was basically staring straight up into space. Maybe she IS worse than me when it comes to guys. But at least she gets them ALL! My expression turned into a grimace, but I quickly hid it because I knew I shouldn't take it out on her. It wasn't her fault that she was attractive to guys. So as soon as I covered all signs of anger or hysteria from my face, I snapped the girl out of it. "Mara?..."
She shook her head, blinked twice dramatically, and came to meet my face. "Ohhh, hi." She was still smiling.
"What's with the idiotic grin?" Then, her grin faded into a frown.
"Well, if you must know, Mick said he planned something special for me on Valentine's Day!" I rolled my eyes, but I felt bad afterward. Mara was my friend and I shouldn't be so mean to her because of my sourness. She noticed, but she overlooked it as she began to gush to me. "Look, I know you're not the type to be all romantic, Patricia." I sighed as she said this. If only she knew that I was probably more of a hopeless romantic than she was. She continued, now moving to her bed. "But the last time he had a surprise, he prepared me a special dinner for two after a walk. THAT WAS SO SWEET OF HIM, don't you think?" Her voice was full of love and I decided to support her.
"Yeah. That is."
"So, I really wanna know what he's doing now. I can't wait. I almost feel like Amber. If I begin to squeal, please don't blame me."
I forced myself to give a soft giggle.
"So, you want to help me pick out a dress?" I tried to imagine this and now I truly felt like I was in Nina's shoes now. It must be TERRIBLE to have to do that with Amber.
I had a nice way of letting her down, but I think I spoke as I thought. "No, I don't. You shouldn't be so all over that meathead Mick anyway. And Valentine's Day isn't for another week. God." I snapped and once again I felt bad. I was really letting my feelings dominate how I acted today. The words just seemed to flow out of me and I knew that she'd react badly. I covered my mouth as soon as I said it and whispered, "Oh no, Mara, I didn't-"
Her features began to tighten and her skin crinkled as she clenched her teeth. And after a few seconds, she exploded. "YOU KNOW WHAT, PATRICIA. It's not my fault that you're a FUCKIN' loner. It's not MY fault that you can't get a damn boyfriend. And it's definitely not my fault that I trusted you, the insensitive witch of all people, to express my feelings with. So you know what, go back to being an emotionless slob for all I care," she muttered in an acidic voice.
This really stung. She hit those few insecure parts that I had went out of my way to cover. I never knew that Mara could be such, such a bitch. But I decided to forgive her. She was right after all. And, I did cross the line. So, I managed a tiny "I'm sorry", turned off the lights, and began to dig through my blankets to bury myself once more. And that night, I went to bed, my self esteem dropping lower than ever, thinking of Mara's hurtful words, and still, unbelievably, Jerome.
