- Come come and I ll give you the freedom you need. I ll give you the wings to free yourself from everything and everyone. Just come!
I sat there , thinking about the things that had happened to me . Just so many things that I didn t know what to feel. I don t know how I feel even now. There was nobody. I was alone. All by myself. I ve never thought I would be so lonely .. ever.. I thought I d always be happy and everyone I love will be with me forever. But we can t always get what we want. My name is Bella Swan. My father had left my mother when I was born. He told her he wasn t ready to have a family. I don t hate him or anything but I don t want to see him either. His name is Mark as far as I know. I don t really want to know anything about him so.. My mother Renee Swan , was everything to me. She was my best friend and very good parent. She wanted me to study hard and to BE something.. to do something in my life. I look so much like her. Sometimes people thought we were twins , which by the way was very funny. But as everything in life that ended too. Two years ago , everything changed for me. While I was on that stupid summer camp my mum was killed. I didn t want to go .. but she made me. Only if I knew.. Some burglars broke into the house and killed her. They didn t really take anything. But they took my everything for that matter. It was just horrible .. She had seven slits on her body. What king of animal would do that to her? The police didn t even find out how many people were there.. They never found them or him.. Even after so much time the pain just don t go away. The first year was terrible. Every time I got home I shout I m home.. though there s no one to greet me back. Every night I cried and cried .. and cried.. The pain is unbearable. Before.. I was always happy and cheerful because I had my mum. I didn t know what to do. I never even knew what pain is .. Maybe you know the feeling ? Or maybe not.. You have this strange feeling .. like someone is tearing you apart .. like your whole world is falling down and you re all alone. There.. in the middle of nowhere. Nobody is there to hold you.. You re crying most of the time.. You thing if you let the tears fall they ll never stop.. But if you finally let them.. When they stop.. It s like they ve ended.. But are they? Do tears have end? Someone had said The tears are the words we can t say And my words are? Maybe the unsaid goodbye to my mother? Have you ever wonder what will you do if you lose the only person you really care about and love ? Well .. I hadn t because I ve never even imagined a world where my mum doesn t exist. But my mother is still here.. in my heart and I know it. I was 15 back there but the police and the social workers let me live on my own and drive my own car. I know my mother would not wanted me to stop my education so I kept studying even more hard. I worked as a waitress in the local cafeteria just to keep myself busy. I had enough money to live all my life because my mother was very responsible and saved a lot of money. But I didn t want to spend them .. they were hers. I am not some spoil snob girl and I don t count on anyone. My mum had thought me to be strong no matter what happens and to never give up but keep going with more strength than ever. I know if she could see me now , she would be proud of me. After I worked one year as a waitress my boss give me promotion. Now I am 17 and I own the cafeteria . The previous owner died 6 months ago and left it to me. I think it s because he knew my mother. He was very nice man. He didn t have any kids that I know about. I still go to school of course. Many of my classmates come to my cafeteria to have fun. I know a lot of people but nobody knows me. They don t know the real me. I m very good at school. I always do my homework and have good grates. I go out with small group of people.
I sat there thinking about all this. How fast the time passes by. I m not the same girl I was 2 years ago. I smile but there is no more joy. The real happiness left with my mother. One part of me died with her and I don t think it s ever coming back.
As I sat on the edge, one very familiar feeling rush through me. - I want to be free I thought. I want to feel the water all around me. I want to feel the air under my feet. The pressure leaving me. I sat up , took a deep breath and jumped. I throw my arms free like wings , my hair was everywhere .. I was falling down. I had the feeling I m flying. There is no other feeling like this. While I was flying nothing bothered me. Everything was perfect. The whole world just disappears and I m all by myself. There is no more pain , no more grief , no more need .. nothing. Then I hit the cold water. I m so relieved and happy when I jump from that rock. The first time I did it , my mother was still with me and when she saw me jumping she freaked out. She told me she though I was all suicidal. But I would never do it. No matter what happens to me my life is given to me as gift and I would not just throw it in the garbage. I started swimming in the cold water. I was exactly like a fish. The water was my home. I was in the swimming team in school. I got out of the ocean and saw that the sun was already down. How could I not see this? It doesn t matter I lied on the sand and closed my eyes. I must have fallen asleep then.
I woke up and it was still dark.. Around 3a.m. I sat up and started walking towards the house. I walked towards the lonely but still beautiful house my mother left me. It wasn t some big fancy house. There were 3 bedrooms with bathrooms , big kitchen , living room and a big garden in the back yard. I went to my room. Just an ordinary room with bed , desk , computer , closet where I put my clothes , shoes and some other stuff, a window and a door to my bathroom. I changes in my pajamas and lied under the covers on my bed. I was in my dream land.. The land where everything can happen ..
