Warning: Contains Self harm and Suicidal actions. May be triggering. I don't own TMNT.

A certain turtle looked out over the New York town. It was currently midnight, and the stars danced brightly overhead. He wondered how it felt to be so free. He envied the stars. They weren't tied down to the terrible world of where he now stood.

Well, it won't be long, he thought to himself. The battle will be over. He looked at his arms where various cuts danced along them. Him stretching his arms made the skin extend a lttle, causing one of the cuts to reopen and for tiny droplets of blood to once again run down his arm.

He couldn't help but smile. They felt good. They looked good. But was this really the right thing to do?
He sighed.

"Four years." He said to himself. "Four years I've seen just how fucked up this world is." Just starting at the mere age of fourteen now to the older age of eighteen. He couldn't go on like this. It was too much. He was just fourteen when he saw the world for what it was.

Unfair.

Not worth it.

Nothing but heart break and misery.

He sighed as he looked down at the water below. Here he stood on a bridge, no cars were passing by. When he was fourteen he told himself he wasn't ever going to be in this position. That he was actually going to get better.

But look where he is now.

He sighed as he looked at the waters below. One step. That's all it took. He could take one step off of the bridge and be history, or he could take one step back from the bridge and go back home and get help. Either way, all it took was one step.

He broke a month ago, and he had planned this day for a month. A month ago, Splinter died, that's when he stopped caring. It was the last straw that broke the camel's back.

He heard his Shell-Cell ring, but he ignored it. The more it rang, the more irritated he got. Finally, the next time it rang he threw it in the waters below. He panted in anger when finally the ringing ceased once and for all. He looked to the waters with a satisfied nod.

He looked at his reflection in the water. Man, what had happened to him? What had turned him down this path? He had called hot lines for help, but they weren't of much. They said it was how his hormones balanced out and that he should get set up on medication. Hard to do when you're a six foot something,
green, mutant turtle.

He sighed. He wasn't getting anywhere. His brothers were probably looking for him by now. He had to make a choice.

But which step was he going to pick?

"Wh-What are you doing?"

He whirled around and was met with baby blue orbs. "M-Mikey. W-Watch doin' out here?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing." Mikey attempted to take a step forward but his brother began to freak out.

"Step back or I'll jump!" He threatened. Mikey's blue eyes widened and he put his hands up in surrendur as he backed up slightly.

"You don't want to do that, do you?" Mikey asked, fear evident in his voice.

His brother could feel tears burn his eyes. "I'll do it! I've wanted to do it fer four years!"

Mikey looked at him with sad eyes. "C'mon, bro, step away from the bridge. We can go home and we all can help you. Give us a chance. Please, bro."

He allowed a single tear to run down his cheek. "I-I can't let you guys."

Mikey looked at his big brother with sad eyes. "Why can't you. Let us help you carry this burden that you've been carrying for far too long."

He shut his eyes. "I can't let you guys. I have to protect you from this. It's my job to protect you guys."

"No it's not. We're supposed to protect each other. We're a family. And family protects each other." Mikey shot back. Mikey was terrified. He had never seen his brother like this. He wanted to help him. He was determined to help him. This would not be the last night he'd see his brother's eyes.

He could feel himself slowly breaking. "The battle was tough. I'm not gonna let four years of protecting go down the drain." He said as he stepped one foot off of the bridge.

"Don't you dare!" Mikey yelled in fear as his eyes teared up. His brother looked at him.

"Why shouldn't I?"

Mikey could feel his heart suffocating. What if this wasn't going to work? "Because we love you! We love you so much! If you die, I don't know what we'll do besides wollow in dispair! Your everything to us and more! We're a family! Family is all we have! Please, don't do this, please!" Mikey practically screamed as tears ran down his face. "Please, don't kill yourself. I love you. Please, don't do this."

He could feel his heart suffocating. Maybe he shouldn't do this. But then he shook his head and stuck his foot out once more. He leaned forward, expecting to feel the water carry him away as he felt the sweet bliss of drowning.

But the feeling never came.

No. Instead he felt himself get caught in the arms of his baby brother, who dragged him back onto the ground. Mikey sat next to his brother in tears as he sobbed in pain and agony. "Please, don't do this! I'll miss you too much! I'm not ready to let go! Not now, not ever!" Mikey sobbed into his older brother's chest. "Please. I don't want to lose you."

He kissed the top of his baby brother's head. "I hear ya, Mike. I'm not leavin' now. I'm stayin' right here."

Mikey looked up at him with tearfilled eyes. "Will you let us help you?"

He nodded. "Yeah, Mike. I'll let you guys help me."

Mikey sobbed in his older brother's chest as he held on tightly to him, afraid that if he let go his brother would run back over to the bridge and jump off. But his doubts were settled when he said a few words.

"I love you guys, Mikey."

Mikey sighed feeling content once more. "I love you, too, Raphie."

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