Agent Orange

Naruto was looking out of the window, a dreamy expression on his face.

He had been doing that a lot lately, Sakura mused, ever since she told him they were going to have a baby.

She was no stranger to how long, how terribly long, he had yearned for a family of his own. She felt profoundly grateful to be the one to help make his childhood dream come true.

It was the greatest of blessings.

A soft touch roused Naruto from his reverie. Sakura traced his whiskers, a playful expression lighting her face.

"We are not going to name our baby Ramen Uzumaki, you know that right?"

Naruto had a look of mad delight.

"Guess what, Sakura-chan? Kiba was teasing me that soon there would be a little pink-haired baby boy running around and Sai interjected that there was quite a possibility of our child having red or orange hair. I hadn't thought of that before. I was just thrilled."

Sakura glared.

"I never imagined you could be so sexist Naruto. Our kid is not going to grow up with such ridiculous gendered assumptions!"

Naruto's expression was one of utter incredulity.

"But Sakura-chan--"

"The baby's not even here and you're already worried about their hair colour!"

Naruto sighed.

"You got me totally wrong, Sakura-chan. I'd be happy if our baby has your beautiful hair. Even if it's a boy."

Sakura wore a puzzled frown.

"Then why were you looking so absurdly happy? As if you had had a revelation!"

Naruto gave a maniac grin.

"There's a healthy chance of our baby having orange hair. Orange, Sakura-chan. Can you imagine how awesome he or she would look in a matching orange jumpsuit, just like the one I wore as a kid? It's going to be amazing, dattebayo!"

Naruto's eyes were almost luminous with a vision of little orange Uzumakis scampering about the village causing havoc.

Sakura stood horror-struck.