Yeah, today, I was bored and thought of this. I've been very very bored lately, with nothing to do. I've been getting only 5 hours of sleep. Yes. I need more sleep. Badly. But anyways, here's the fanfic. The song is called, "On the Way Down" by Ryan Cabrera. This story is kinda just drabble but oh well. Hope you enjoy it.

----Derek loves Meredith FOREVER----

Sick and tired of this world
There's no more air
Trippin' over myself
Goin' nowhere
Waiting
Suffocating
No direction
And I took a dive

Derek couldn't stop thinking about Meredith. She was all he thought about at all times. Meredith. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about her so much that he had picked Addison already. But he couldn't help himself. He loved her.

When he had found out Addison had cheated on him, his whole life went crashing down. He moved to Seattle to get away from everything. To get away from her and all the memories of his old life. He wanted to start over and begin a brand new life. He had no idea he was going to fall in love with a woman that he met at a bar. The only thing he could think of at that moment was fate. Fate had brought them together. Fate had let them meet at the bar that night. Fate had let them fall in love.

They were meant for each other. She was the one who would bring up his spirits when he was down. She was the one who knew all of the little things but none of the important things. She was the one that he would confess his deepest and darkest secrets to.

Addison was his wife. Just his wife. Yes, he used to love her, but he has found an even bigger love. Another woman who would always make him feel safe. All the time. Him and Addison could never agree on anything. Derek would barely ever talk to her. They wouldn't even act as if they loved each other. And to tell the truth, Meredith was the only person he truly loved. Always.

And on the way down
I saw you
And you saved me
From myself
And I won't forget
The way you loved me
On the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held onto you

Meredith was the one who saved him when he was drowning. She was the one who was always there when he needed someone. She was the one who made his eyes light up every time she walked into the room.

Every time he saw her, he would regret ever picking Addison. All he ever wanted to do was hold her and tell her he was sorry and everything was going to be okay. But he couldn't. Not only could he not touch her, he couldn't act like he loved her. He hadn't ever told her he loved her. And he regretted that.

He wanted so much to tell her exactly how he felt about her. How much he loved her and how much he was sorry for everything he has done. All the pain he has caused her, he wanted to take all back. He wanted to make her feel loved again. Let her know someone would always be there for her and to let her know she wasn't alone in the world. To just let her know that he still cared about her and the if she ever needed anyone, he would be there for her. To at least just make her feel safe. But he knew she wouldn't listen to him.

I've been wondering why
It's only me
Have you always been inside
Waiting to breathe
It's alright
Sunlight
On my face
I wake up and yeah, I'm alive

Every time he cornered her in a dark hallway to ask how she was doing, every time he tried talking to her, every time he tried to get her alone to talk to her, she would make up excuses to get away from him.

"I've got patients Dr. Shepherd." or "Dr. Bailey needs me." or "Cristina needs me. It's an emergency." or maybe, "Dr. Shepherd, I'm tired. I need to get some sleep."

She would always call him Dr. Shepherd and not Derek.

She would always avoid him and act like he wasn't there. And he hated that. He wanted to make her feel like she could talk to him again. He wanted to let her know that she didn't have to hide from him.

She didn't know, but whenever she wasn't looking, he would just look at her. Trying to remember what it had felt like being with her. Feeling the happiness run through out his body. Remembering how it had felt to love someone and them love you back. Remembering how everything about her was just so perfect...

'Cause on the way down
I saw you
And you saved me
From myself
And I won't forget
The way you loved me
On the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held onto you

He remembered how she always used to smile when their eyes locked. Or when one of them walked into the room. Or how she would always laugh when he toppled her into the bed at night and began tickling her, how she would scream and try to wiggle out of his grasp. But she never could.

How when she smiled it lit up his world. And how it just felt right whenever they were together. And how she laughed at the stupid things he always did. And how she always smiled when she called him Dr. Shepherd instead of Derek when they were at work. And how she always made him feel like they were the only two people in the world whenever they kissed.

How when she smiled, one side of her mouth slightly went up into a mischievous smile. How they always joked with each other and were never too serious, when they weren't at work that is. He remembered how fun it was to sneak around with her without anybody knowing.

How their bodies fit perfectly when they were pressed against each other. How his hands had always found a place on her waist. How he loved just holding her at night, breathing in the smell of her hair. She didn't know but, he would lay awake at night just watching her sleep. How her chest rose and fell with his.

And how her face looked when Addison showed up...

How it looked as though her whole life had just collapsed. He had planned on telling her that night about Addison. He was going to tell her everything. Everything that happened between them, explain everything to her. Until Addison showed up and ruined it. Ruined everything.

And when Meredith asked him to pick her, choose her, and love her. He wanted to. But he just couldn't...couldn't let himself feel like he was giving up on his whole marriage. So he didn't pick her or choose her. But he knew he would always love her. No matter what Addison did...

I was so afraid
Of going under
But now
The weight of the world
Feels like nothing, no, nothing

So now he's sitting here, Meredith next to him. She's been drinking. A lot. He's looking out for her, making sure she doesn't do anything crazy. But more importantly, making sure she's safe. At all times.

She looks over at him then she gets up and goes out to dance, swaying her hips back and forth. He's just watching her from across the room, smiling. He forgot how amazingly sexy it looked when she danced when she was drunk. He just stared, not talking.

She wasn't smiling as she was dancing though, but trying her hardest to have some fun even though she's not with Derek.

She comes back up to the bar and asks for another shot. Derek watches closely as a man comes up behind her and puts his hands on her waist.

"That's what I'm talking about baby..." he whispers in her ear as she's swaying her hips back and forth. He's definitely drunk. Meredith immediately takes the man's hands off of her waist.

"It's not what I'm talking about..." she tells him.

He grabs her again and pulls her closer, tighter. "Oh, come on baby. I just want to dance..." he says in a husky voice.

"No! Get your hands off of me!" she yells at him, struggling from his grip. But he tightens his grip, not listening to her.

"Oh, baby. It's okay. I don't bite." he said.

"Get OFF of me!" she yells again, causing a little but of attention from the other people watching closely now.

Down, down, down
You're all I wanted
Down, down, down
You're all I needed
Down, down, down
You're all I wanted
You're all I needed

He's still holding on to her as Derek jumps out of his seat. He walks over to Meredith and the guy and grabs the man by the collar of his shirt. Derek's fist lunges toward him, striking him in the face. The man falls to the floor as he looks down at him.

"KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER! WHEN SHE SAYS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE TOUCHED, DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER!" Derek yells, not caring about the numerous people staring at him.

He glanced at Meredith, who was just standing there, shocked. He stepped closer to her.

"Meredith...come on. I need to get you home..." he said grabbing her arm, pulling her out of the bar quickly. They walked through the parking lot, not saying anything to each other. Meredith started stumbling, more drunk than before. Derek caught her before she could fall to the ground.

He held her closely in his arms as he carried her to his car. He opened the door to his car as he gently set her down in the passenger seat. He ran to the other side as he got in. As he started driving, Meredith fell asleep quickly. As they stopped at a stop light, he stared at her. Her beautiful face. He reached over as he gently brushed the hair out of her eyes. He looked at her again. HIs eyes went downward as he looked at her hand between them.

He made sure that she was asleep before he reached down and put his hand over hers, squeezing it gently. He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles as he kept driving, using the other hand to stear the car. Meredith decided not to act like she was awake the whole time.

And I won't forget the way you loved me
On the way down
I saw you
And you saved me
From myself
And I won't forget
The way you loved me
On the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held onto you

He reached her house as he got out and opened her door. He gently picked her up into his arms and carried her into the house. He walked up the stairs and into her room, setting her down on the bed lightly. He put the blanket over her as he stared at her body. He stroked her cheek before leaving her to sleep. He went home to his trailer. And had a restless night.

Thinking about Meredith. Knowing with all his heart that he could never love anyone as much as he loved and cared for Meredith.

But I held onto you

------

There it is. You know the drill.

REVIEW. The little tiny purple button is waiting for you. Ok, more like I'm waiting for you. But oh well.