Summary: Emily finally gets the courage to tell JJ what she feels when the team are on a night out at a local bar.

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Criminal Minds, CBS or their characters.

I cant believe I am doing this, I can already feel the lead forming in my bones, willing me not to move, praying for me to stay seated. I know I have to do this, just one glance her way and seeing the broken person that is usually so vibrant, seeing the smile that lights a room barely ghosting on her face. It drives me on. "Anyone up for another?" "Ooh yeah sugarplum!" Garcia shines brightly, I see the twinkle in her eyes, she knows what I am really doing but I just needed a reason to leave so she wouldn't spot what I am doing.

Walking to the bar I start to feel the heat coursing through my veins like a poison, it is the same heat when we are on raids, the brief moment of panic stumbles up to my throat making me feel nauseous. Glancing round the room waiting for Ted so I can get my guitar I notice how busy it is in here tonight, normally it is not quite this packed, the dance floor is heaving with bodies moving all in sync with the music, becoming a force unto themselves. "You ready?" just that simple questions brings me back to reality, "yeah", it comes out just above a whisper, my nerves getting the better of me. As the guitar is passed over I take a quick glance back to the table, Garcia is smiling encouragement, it helps settle some of the horde of butterflies that have taken up residence in my stomach.

Strolling from the bar to the small stage in the corner, it is only defined as a stage as it is about 2 foot off the floor, a small square expanse of wood, barley big enough to fit a full band on but it manages, the guys that were just playing give me a small nod and smile, I smile back, it is just like every other time that I come here. Playing has always chased the demons from the recess' of my mind, allowing me to put everything into their boxes and label and lock them away while getting lost in the music, feeling the emotion behind the lyrics, in tune with my own thoughts, and feelings.

A quick strum of the stings to check it is still in tune, I take my place up on the stool, centre stage, centre of attention. If only Garcia had not walked into the bar that day then this would not have been happening, something would had to of happened soon though, it is getting to hard to work together. I would have to have told her. Watching my life fall apart because of that I couldn't do, at least this way I can hide behind the music and if it isn't returned it doesn't matter. All that matters is that she is in my life, letting the light in, whether as a friend or lover, as long as she is there I know I will get up in the morning and I know that I will sleep at night.

"Everyone, we have a special guest here tonight supporting us, we hope you love her as much as we do, here she is, Emily Prentiss!" As soon as the introduction started, they all looked over, Garcia looks as if she is going to burst with excitement, Morgan is stunned yet intrigued, even from here I can read him, it helps with the smile that slowly spreads over his face. Reid looks confused, poor Reid, for someone so smart he gets confused quite a bit. Then there is JJ, for the first time in a while a look appears in her eyes, a small glint, a spark that used to be there all the time, starts to slowly come back and a smile of wonder stretches itself across her face, smiling back I tilt my head to make sure I am ready, looking at the band now sitting behind me a quick nod and I'm ready.

Time, is going by, so much faster than I

And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you

Now I'm wondering why I've kept this bottled inside

So I'm starting to regret not telling all of it to you

So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know

Glancing up I spot the tears forming in the two blondes eyes, Garcia is smiling with them running down her face, looking like a proud mother, JJ is staring at the stage, tear tracks evident on her face, I hate seeing her cry but with the smile gracing her face it spurs me on.

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on

If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall

You're never gonna be alone, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone

I cant let her eyes go, we are locked in, a thousand questions being asked from her, the answers are in the lyrics and she hears them, she sees them in my eyes, I know I cant guard myself, not with this, I need to let her see it all and make a choice.

And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands

'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you

So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know

She starts to get off her seat and walk to the stage, as if she is disbelieving what I am singing, as if by coming closer she will understand more, the tears are burning my eyes, I can feel them building up but I know I cant shut her out now, she has seen me with my defences down and my heart on my sleeve.

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on.

If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall.

When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.

Were gonna take the world on. I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

I could never leave her alone, abandon her like everyone else has to deal with everything that we have to, the mutilated corpses, the innocent hurt and the emotional toll when we are just simply too late to save them from the evil that man hinders this world with. She would never be alone again.

You've gotta live every single day,

Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?

Don't let it slip away,

Could be our only one, you know it's only just begun.

Every single day,

Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes,

Tomorrow never comes?

In someway I hope tomorrow never comes, if this all goes wrong how am I meant to face her at work? How am I meant to face any of them? They can all see that this song is for her, that the emotions are real. Questioning now wont help, it's too late, the thought that there may never be a tomorrow, never a chance to see what we could be stabs at my gut, the thought of not having her around is crippling.

Time, is going by, so much faster than I,

And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on.

If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall.

When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.

We're gonna take the world on. I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

I hope that this all works out, from the look in her eyes I think I know but I cant be sure, I have been wrong about this before, I have ruined friendships I once cherished over it, they say it will all be fine yet pull themselves away until there is such a gap that there is nothing left to hold on for. I can't have that with her, if I lost her, lost the hope of having her, I don't know what would happen.

I'm gonna be there all of the way.

I won't be missing one more day.

I'm gonna be there all of the way.

I won't be missing one more day.

The song fades out, the bar erupts in applause, there was no issue that everyone would like it. Anytime I play here they always like it, that's why I come her, to decompress after a hard case, sometimes to try and figure out who I am meant to be. Today though, this was about everyone finding out who I am, getting a glimpse into my darkest psyche, and for JJ. To bring the sparkle back and the light back into that smile, that is what drove me to play tonight. Getting up from the stool and making my way to the edge of the stage to get down I am surprised by the fluid motion my legs perform, surprised I don't stumble into a heap at the bottom along with my nerves, they are wreaking havoc inside me. As I put the guitar back in the case she comes over to me, I know its her without any sound, even in a place packed with people there is no mistaking the calmness she brings me.

"Emily" there it is, my name in a breathless whisper, this is it, this is what I have hoped for but what I have dreaded at the same time, everything is colliding and I have no control, for only the second time in my life I do not have control over my personal life, I cant let what happened last time happen again, this time is going to be different. I hope.

"Emily, please look at me" The sheer pleading in her voice compels me to look, it would force anyone to look at her, even if she was your worst enemy. "Jennifer" She sees the pain, hope and love in my eyes.

"Em, I…I…I" Watching her struggle for words when normally she is so in control, using her words as a shield or as a sword to attack the press, to convince people that what they want to hear is true, not what is true. "JayJ its okay, you don't need to say anything, I just wanted you to know, I had to let you know, after everything we see, how life is so short you had to know, I didn't want to have the regret of not trying before its too" my words are silenced as she pulls me up and into an embrace holding on as if I am her only link to the world. I hold her too, knowing that this could be the last time that I get this close, because really, who would want a geeky nerd, daughter of an ambassador that cant connect with people on an emotional level. Who would want that. "I do". "What?" looking at her as if she has grown a second head my confusion could not be more apparent than at that one point in time. Looking at me with more conviction and strength than I have seen in her before "I want the geeky nerd, daughter of an ambassador, although you did get the last part wrong" seeing the smile on her face is contagious as I feel one tearing at the corners of my mouth, "you are not for want of a better phrase emotionally stunted" I laugh along with her "you can connect on an emotional level, you do it already, with me" Looking at her with all the hope that I possess, I really, really hope that this is not an easy let down, I don't think my heart could take it. "Emily, I want what you want, I want a chance with you, I want to have you catch me when I fall, I want you to keep me from being alone, from fighting these demons by myself, I want to take the world on. With you there by my side. Please say that I haven't got this wrong, that this is what you want?"

I answer her the only way that I can, I kiss her. I will never stop kissing her. "I love you Jennifer", "Good, because I love you too".

A/N: The song is 'Never gonna be alone' by Nickelback.