Are We Soldiers

It was only two hours before the guys needed to go on patrol. Since two hours wasn't really enough time for Donatello to get anything serious done he decided to continue his fun little experiment that he started with Michelangelo. The point of the experiment was to grow rainbow colored fungi.

The experiment has been going on for about two months and so far both boys have been thoroughly enjoying it. Donnie because of all the new biology and organic chemistry that he got to try out and Mikey simply because Donnie made sure of it. Since the whole point of this experiment was to spend time with Mikey, Donnie always made sure that there was something for him to help with or figure out.

It was at this time, as Mikey was doing some measurements so he could evenly distribute their new batch of fungi into different containers while Donnie was mushing together a bunch of dead worms for their makeshift fertilizer, that Mikey decided to ask a question.

"So Don we're basically soldiers right?"

"…No, I wouldn't say so why?"

"Weeeeell, …. Wait what, you don't think we're soldiers!?"

"No I don't."

"But we fight things all the time, I mean like all the time, even more than regular soldiers probably."

"Yes I would suspect so, be careful Mikey you're about to add to much fungi to that container."

"HUH, oh sorry… Ok well then for arguments sake-"

"I wasn't arguing."

"Don't be a pain bro, so as I was saying, for argument's sake let's say that we are like soldiers."

"Uh huh."

"So if we are like soldiers, why are we so happy?"

"WHAT?!"

" Ick, Don ya got worm guts on my leg!"

"Oh sorry."

"And you said I should be careful."

"Ok, ok sorry, no need to rub it in I'll get a paper towel."

"Sooooooooo."

"So what."

"So what do you think, about you know, what I said?"

"…. I."

"I mean think about it Don, I saw Leo, Raph, and Casey watching the game yesterday yellin' and screamin' while they threw soda and chips around. Like they were just normal happy people, and you know what, I totally know that the three of us had killed some poor little foot soldiers the night before. I mean I know we all already got past the stage of being totally horrified over killing people. But we don't even seem to be affected anymore! What about Post-Traumatic Stress or whatever SHOULDN'T I BE SAD!? AM I SAD!? I DON'T FEEL SAD!"

"MIKEY!"

"Sorry heh, got a little over the top there."

"It's ok I see what you mean, though truthfully I'm rather surprised that you wanted to talk to me about this."

"Why, your usually who we all talk to about this stuff."

"It's not that. Honestly Mikey you always seem to have problems like this figured out, I guess I always think of you as being so wise,…. In your own way Mikey! Don't go getting a fat head!"

"….. My head is not fat?"

"Aaaanyways, the point is I see what you're saying, and honestly I don't know how to answer you."

"What! Ah man Don don't tell me that bro, I gotta work this out! My mind must be put onto the right path."

"Alright fine I understand! Look I'll tell you how I deal with it as long as you never try to sound like Master Splinter again! And please try to keep in mind that I can't speak for Raph and Leo."

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Tell me ya woes bro!"

"Isn't the point of this to explain to you why I don't have any woes?"

"…. Nobody likes a smart turtle Don."

"Heh sorry, and you didn't put enough fungi in container L."

*How did he know that, container L is hidden behind my elbow.*

"Thanks Don."

"Ok well personally I don't think that killing those men is all that wrong. I mean I don't like killing or violence, and I'm sure that out of the four of us I've killed the least, but even when I do kill, I don't think in the long run that it's so bad."

"…"

"I mean the people that we kill are usually murderers themselves, particularly murderers to us. And even if they're just rapists or something they still deserve to die. They waste tax dollars and hurt everyone around them."

"…."

"Besides they start it themselves. Don't point a gun unless you're ready to get shot. Don't pull out a knife unless you're ready to get cut. And don't fight four mutant brothers that would do anything to keep each other safe unless you're ready for them to fight back."

"…."

"…"

"So Don."

"Yes Mikey?"

"You really don't think we're soldiers?"

"No Mikey."

"Why?"

"Because I don't feel like one."