Disclaimer: "Come hell or high water Well I'm feeling hot and wet I can't commit to a thing Be it heart or hospital"
(An: This was written for Morlock's Twelve Impossible Things Before Breakfast challenge. Basically, take twelve crack pairings (four straight, four yuri, and four yaoi) and write drabbles about them. I love challenges like that.)
Dai Li Guy/Azula: "Remember Me"
"Do you all look the same?" the princess drawls, slouching in her throne and inspecting her perfectly manicured nails. "It's so dull."
"You could tell us apart if you tried. Most of us look different without the hats."
"But you never take them off," she points out.
"Not while we're on duty, your highness, no."
She glances at me. "Yes, well, I never see you while you're off-duty."
"No, Princess. I'm not even sure if you know my name."
"I don't," she assures me casually, "but it's only because you've never told me."
"It's San, Princess."
"How very generic." She yawns. "I'm certain I'll have forgotten it by tomorrow."
"Of course, Princess." I lower my head. I'm just one of dozens to her. Never mind that I'm only a year or three older than this terrifying, inspiring monster in front of me, unlike most of my comrades. I'm talented. Maybe not a prodigy like her, but better than most earthbenders my age. I want to impress her, make her remember me.
She'd think my desire is pathetic. She's probably used to men fawning over her. It's just how it works. She's Princess Azula, conqueror of Ba Sing Se, firebending master, the girl who can fill up a room by entering it. In a word, amazing.
But still really, really scary.
She props her chin on one fist and makes a "come hither" gesture with her free hand. "Closer," she says. She often pretends disinterest with everything; it's one of her tricks to remind one of one's place. I've never been one to pay much attention to that. I stride to the throne and clasp my hands behind my back.
"Yes, Princess?"
"Take off your hat."
"…Your highness?"
She frowns at me. "Do it, San." She sneers my name. "Or do you want to remain just one of many?"
I blink, but I oblige her, now using the hat to occupy my hands.
She tugs my sleeve. "Closer," and now her voice is almost a purr. I'm frightened beyond belief, but I still wish she'd let me keep my hat on so I could hide that I'm also grinning like an idiot. She moves her hands from my sleeves to my collar and pulls me closer. Her grin looks like a snake's.
"Tell me, San," she murmurs, "why are you named after the sun instead of the earth?" (1)
She kisses me before I can answer- I think the question was mainly to distract me. I'm going to get in so much trouble if we get caught, but hell, I'm not going to complain.
Smellerbee/Zuko: "Indifference"
They say the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. Indifference has never been my strong point. As I stood before him, counting off all the people he and his nation had taken from me- even Jet; he may have been killed by an earthbender, but it was his obsession with Zuko that had gotten him captured in the first place- I couldn't keep the hate out of my voice. It allowed me to say all the names with perfect clarity: my parents, my sister, all the Freedom Fighters ever killed by the Fire Nation- which, of the core group, was now all but one.
Prince Zuko, though, he had indifference down to an art. Even with my knife pressed to his neck, his eyes were cool, unlike the hands pinned to his sides. "It never satisfies you, does it?" he replied when I finished, panting and glaring down at him. "Revenge. Not really. I know."
"Shut up! Just shut up!" I pressed my knife down harder, but I couldn't bring myself to do it because he had a point. Why did he have to make sense now? Why did I have to listen?
And then he kissed me. Hate tastes bitter, but indifference tastes like loss.
Harula: "Princess"
"I hate you."
"No, you don't." He adjusted my shackles and beamed at me, putting me up on the ostrich horse in front of him. He patted my cheek before clicking his tongue to the ostrich horse. "Don't worry, Princess. We'll be in Omashu soon enough."
"You drive me crazy, at the very least."
"I'm happy to oblige, Princess."
That was the most annoying thing about him, except for his unshakeable cheerfulness- he never called me "Princess Azula". Always just "Princess", usually in a tone that wasn't respectful but not quite mocking either. I'd never heard him say my name, not once. I wanted to. It wasn't out of curiosity- never- it was just that whenever I would snarl, "It's Azula," he would just smile and continue calling me "Princess". I hate it when people disobey me.
That was more aggravating than his smile and the feel of his arms around me as he held the reins and his chest, hard with muscle, pressing into my back.
I kissed him, but it was an escape attempt. Hearing him say my name in a negating whisper that was half a desperate moan was just a perk.
Soru: "Nice Boys"
I've met a dozen just like him- handsome earthbenders from the army or on their way to join it, injured in this battle or that. Shy, painfully polite, helpful. In a word, nice.
He's funnier than most of them, at least, making jokes about the burns on his arm. "Well, my hair didn't get singed, anyway. I'd be crushed."
I smile and say nothing, just continue to apply salve to his arm. Like all of the other boys, he'll be gone soon, and I used up all of my spare kindness on a boy who didn't return it.
"Do you know where I could buy food for my ostrich horse?" he asks, breaking across my thoughts.
"I have some," I reply quietly. "You can have it for free. Mine was stolen."
His green eyes turn sympathetic. I may be sick of nice boys (and boys in general, to be honest), but I still can't help but notice how lovely they are. Clear and bright, like a drop of dew on a leaf.
"It was my pet," I add quickly, tying a bandage around his burn. "Nothing important."
"It was important to you," he replies, with almost painful sincerity.
I smile at him then, a full smile; he's earned it. Besides, the one thing nice boys have in common with people like Lee is that they never come back.
O-o-O-o-O
I come home, and leaning against my fence is the boy- Haru. It's been two weeks since he left. He smiles at me and thumbs at my yard. An ostrich horse is cropping the grass. Unlike the one he brought last time, this one wears no military colors. "They gave me an extra one. I like traveling on foot better, so..." He shrugs.
I throw my arms around his neck, and when he kisses me, I let him. He may be a nice boy, but he's a nice boy with green eyes, a nice boy who brought me an ostrich horse, a nice boy who came back.
(The next chapter is the femmeslash one… It shall be up tomorrow. Please review?)
(1) San is Japanese for 'sun'. The "Dai Li guy" is actually a specific one- he's the guy who reported to Long Feng about Azula's rule. This is my crack!OTP, heheh.