Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.

The little hints. Or maybe the lack-there-of. All those subtle notions, that it's not the same for us anymore. They strangle me. And now coming home from the doctor, with this white, "I'm sorry" sort of letter. I can't explain myself at all.

And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

"Oh, you're home!" I tried to smile cheerfully as I saw him looming over his papers for class. He grunted in response. "Uh, I just got back from the doctor." I trailed off and lingered in silence.

"Do you need something?" Why was Kanda's voice some much colder and sharper as of late? Oh, right. Because Alma came back. And now he doesn't need me anymore. I can't say I don't want you; that I need you. Especially now. But I don't want to need you, at all. Because he, wants you. And you want him too.

"N-no." I gripped the paper in my hand. "I don't need anything at all."

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.

It was time I started to prepare some dinner. Kanda was still at the table working on papers.

"Um."

"What is, it now, Moyashi?" He said, lacking the familiarity that he used to have. My chest feels tight. I feel like a small animal in a large room. Frightened

"N-never mind. Maybe it's best you just leave me alone."I smiled softly. The walls start breathing.

"Tch." He walked away. My mind's unweaving.

A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

"Wait," I stopped what I was doing and faced him, my head down. "I think," a weight is lifted. "We should really," I give the final blow. "We should break up."

"Fine." Was all he said.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

He was happy. And who was I to blame him? I couldn't do it anymore. He didn't love me, even if I couldn't even bare to watch him go. I found myself on my knees, my eyes felt heavy and sore. I wiped the. They were wet. I heard the door open then close and I was alone.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

No matter what I'm going down. So, at least I'll fall alone. You'll have Alma now. I bet you didn't know. how much it hurt me when you stopped looking at me, and started looking at him. And I look at you with such disdain. Because when you're with him-

You smile.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.

The phone rings again. Probably the pharmacy telling me to pick up my prescription. But I don't need it. My mind's unweaving. I wish they would just leave me alone.

A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

This weighted is lifted as I rip in half the sheet of paper reading, "Malignant" In big bold letters. All that medical crap makes no sense. All I can tell is that I'm going to die.

I see you two together. You're happy, just like the two of you used to be. You're smiling.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

No. I'm on my own now. No little insight can make this right. He is happier now, and that's all I cared about. He wouldn't suffer with me. I would go alone. I would drag anyone down with me.

And anyway, it's already been a month since you've gone. It's too late to fight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

"K-kanda," I said through the phone to his answering machine. I'm on my own side now. I lie telling myself it's better than being at his side."There's something I need to tell you." I started to cry. He would hate that. "We need to talk, now. There isn't a lot of time left." It's my fault you're blind to this. I never wanted you to know. This way you would never suffer. Maybe because I knew it was better that I see it through your eyes.

He never called me back.

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

I can't see anymore. All I can tell is my body hurts and it's shaking. It won't be much longer for me. If I had told you would you still be here? Could we have been happy? Should we have? All these thoughts of 'would-haves', 'could-haves', and 'should=haves' are locked inside. I just wanted you to be the first to know. You still haven't called back.

Some how, an ambulance came.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

The darkness turns to light and I can see again. But just a little insight can't make this right. It's too late to fight it now. I haven't touched those pills they prescribed and now I'm paying for it. The doctors are shouting.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

"His heart rate is dropping!" Someone shouts. They sound so far away. "His brain is shutting down." But, that's not right. I'm still thinking. I'm still feeling. All for him.

But he's not here. He's with Alma. The one he loves. When this ends, I can rest.

Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

And this feeling of shame, telling me that he could have been here if he wanted.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

It ends tonight.