50 Shades of Autism
Etiam in tenebræ, Amor Vincit
Even in darkness, Love Conquers
Prologue:
This was a World I only knew too well, another day of testing and another day of chatting with words on a screen. How I long to see the person behind those words, to touch them, to see their emotion. Just once, only once will do. I am a manager of sorts, but what I manage is as cold and lifeless as my heart. Men, virtual men on a field - I tell them what to do and they do what they're programmed to, that is our relationship in a nutshell. There are others like me though, cursed to live this life for all eternity, I speak with them often - I would perhaps consider them friends, if my body was ready to accept that word of course.
This is my story, the story of Gracen Hallibaster, Virtual Divegrass Manager.
Chapter I - Purity
The day was nearing, the day I had trained my players for day-in, day-out - Autumn Babby Cup. Those 3 words enough to wake a anxiety I had harboured within me, I had to quell this emotion so I did what I normally do; Computer on, Firefox open and to the thread. A few seconds of scrolling, nothing, nothing of interest whatsoever. "Dead Hours General" I muttered to nobody in particular, perfect, just what I needed; all the creativity pressed into the World Wide Web and none of it to be seen here. The regular names and trips fill my screen except one HannahY, now she pricked my curiosity. HannahY was a manager much like myself but we never truly chatted to each other, every time i tried I was shrugged off rather rudely, I guess that's just how she is.
Other than that brief thought it was the same old stuff; Power Rankings, people posting pointless results, the on-again, off-again /d/ manager being all quirky - like that didn't get old quick, the usual mind-games and complaints. Really, you could just copy and paste a thread from a month ago and it would be exactly the same. This depresses me somewhat, the threads are blank, nobody's streaming and the Skype chat is full of DragonFag. This is the worst, I get dressed, grab my coat and leave the house, my destination? Not really sure on that one, I'll just pop out and grab a coffee or take a walk around the park; it's a pleasant enough day, why not. Fortunately it's a short walk to the closest coffee shop from wherever it is I live, I open the door and take a seat by the window - as the people walk by it gives me time to think.
I see the usual crowd you'd expect to see in a coffee shop; the hipster types with their netbooks, the business types dressed in suits and women. I get up to go to the counter and decide upon a regular coffee, hell it's an average day might as well add to the mediocrity of it all, I collect my drink given to me by an all to smiley-faced woman and head back to my seat to begin drinking. Mid-drink I hear a small sound to my left, there stood a girl - she was nothing spectacular to look at, just an average girl in a coffee shop on an average day. About 5.5/10. To describe her in some sort of detail: she had brown, slightly messy hair, glasses, she didn't look like she wore make-up and she wore a green tank top and jeans. Like I said average. My train of thought was halted by her speaking up "e-excuse me, is there anyone sitting here?" She said the stereotypical moé character manner, I replied with a negative and she promptly took a seat next to me. I glanced occasionally towards her, she was jostling around her bag for something until she slowly looked up and caught my gaze, I looked away quickly as if to hope that me glancing away would trick her somehow. It didn't. She looked around frantically and quite thankfully collected herself before asking me what I was staring at. I didn't reply.
We both stayed silent after that until I had finished my drink and got up to leave, I exited the coffee shop and headed towards the park which was about 5 minutes walk away - might as well burn off a small amount of calories I suppose. Nothing eventful happened on the walk over (yeah, we get it it's an 'average' day) and a took a seat on a bench next to the park entrance, it wasn't as busy as it usually is at this time of day and in amongst the flashers in the early morning and the rapists late at night it isn't as lively either. These thoughts apparently blocked out the outside World as I didn't notice the figure sitting next to me. It was that girl from the coffee shop again, still rummaging through her bag, seriously woman either get a smaller bag or understand that the 500th time probably isn't the charm. I ignore her as she seemingly didn't notice me either, as I set back into my mindset previous I begin humming a familiar tune, this apparently peaks her interest as she looks at me strangely, I glance back at her and she looks away; I tried that trick back in the coffee shop earlier woman, and it didn't work then. She slowly starts to look back at me and speaks up "I'm sure I've heard that tune somewhere before" her voice was a bit different this time, she had apparently dropped the moé act and began speaking normally, I digested her statement and it dawned on me, it probably isn't good that a girl a similar age to me hears me hum the theme to Yuru Yuri. I mean the connotations of that are quite poor anyway, pathetic weeaboo humming the theme tune to a anime centred around lesbian love - that won't be good for my image.
I decide to stay quiet to her remark, best let her think she imagined it all - how stupid do I think she is? Seriously, first looking away and now this. Really Gracen nobody is that naive. She speaks up again "no, it would sound silly if I told you" now that got my interest, there was a minute chance she could be thinking about the Cup surely, yeah, she probably thinks I'm just a perverted weeaboo that sits in the park all day and masturbates to passers-by. I needed to find out though, "really, I'd quite like to hear it" I reply, well I do if not to see if she follows the Cup or just thinks I'm a pervert then because I'm a general fan of silliness. She pauses for a bit and chuckles softly "well, you see, there's this website-" oh heavens "-and they run this cup-" oh Lord "-and well, I think that song was one of the teams goalhorn's" and like that I knew, I knew that I needed to find out more about her - what was just an average girl in a coffee shop has now engrossed me immensely.
I have very little time to collect my thoughts when she starts laughing softy again "see, I told you weird right?" she conveys, not really searching for an answer. This takes me aback slightly, is it really that difficult to imagine? Now, think seriously for a second the Internet's a popular place so I've heard, and despite this planet being huge it's not really impossible, just statistically unlikely. I chuckle with her, well at least her first thought wasn't the perverted masturbator, I think about saying something but resist the urge - why now do I need to be beta? I fight against the urges and manage to mutter out "iiitsnothaweir-" she glances back up at me with a perplexed look "what was that?" the only reasonable response to whatever it is I just murmured "erm, hehe it's not that weird" I just about manage to say audibly enough that human ears can receive - seriously why now? Why not when I'm ordering Pizza or something? Why can't I have a beta quota for the day that I can willingly deliver at my own whim? While this personal battle is going on in my head she stares at me "oh, really? Why is that?" she queries.
There is a moment of brief silence between her question and myself trying to gather my emotional spaghetti, I attempt to break that silence with an answer but the aforementioned pasta comes falling out again "well, er, erm, well because, that" I trail off once more - get it together Gracen, you can do this, deep breaths, "well, because, I think i know exactly what you're talking about-" so far so good "-because actually I manage one of those teams, er /u/, erm Yuri - erm, Lesbians!" a bit too much there Gracen, don't want to scare the girl off and you may have said the word 'lesbians a bit too loudly. People are staring, oh God.
She was naturally taken unawares by this outburst and who could blame her, it's not every day someone shouts 'lesbians' at you. The people that were staring had gone back on their merry travels and I was left slightly flustered at the entrance of a park talking to a girl I had only met today in a coffee shop, with a bag seemingly like the one Mary Poppins has. She seems still shocked, about as flustered as I look right now, she looks like she wants to speak but the words just won't come out - I proffered it when I was like that, quiet, well-mannered, didn't bawl sexual preferences at people I'd barely met. "S-so that makes you G-Gracen then?" she just about gets out, oh good now it was my turn to answer that went well last-time - "Yeah, I'm afraid I don't know your name though" that went surprisingly well, good job Gracen.
While I was pleased with myself, she apparently wasn't. My previous statement appeared to anger her, her face was visibly red and she was staring down at the ground mumbling incoherently - I should probably say something, buoyed by my last attempt I open my mouth to speak but I was interrupted. "You idiot! Don't talk to me!" And with that she stormed off, out of the park entrance and out of sight. I was dumbfounded, this is precisely why I prefer my girls on the internet... and drawn.
This is why I don't talk to girls...
So there you have it, a fanfic about the 4chan Cup and you thought we couldn't get any more autistic/tripfag circlejerky.
Notes: Any negative feedback will be met with "Haters gonna Hate" as I die a little bit inside.
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lol, so random XB