They Never Noticed
They never notice. She didn't even notice. The main one that was going through it. It wasn't really her fault that she was going crazy, they'd didn't know who to blame. So they just left her, threw her into jail. But when they realize she was crazy they'd sent her for 'treatment'. When she gets better and apologizes, then I'll forgive her and let her come back. The last thing she heard her big brother, Zuko say. They had sent her away unwillingly, as she kicked and scream at the men that took her away. And her fault for not settling down, they shot her with a needle, one that made her 'sleep' just a while.
But that was almost 5 years ago. The wars over now, everything's at peace. Except her, she wasn't better (at all). They went to the king (Fire Lord Zuko) and complained. Claimed she stuck a nurse attending her to her room with the needle filled with the poison, to make her 'well'. They never asked, and they never noticed. She wasn't crazy by her fault. She didn't want to be but she was. Zuko disregarded what the mental hospital securities, nurse, even therapist told him about his little sisters recovery. The thing is she wasn't recovering at all after 5 years. They wanted to put her to sleep, they say it would be best. But he said no, she will get better.
The therapist and physiologist were asking all the wrong questions. They'd asked her why she was like this? They should start all over, Azula thought, from the beginning. She had been doing some thinking herself in her little room. She had thought back as she lied across her bed. The ceiling seemed to be her only way of wrapping her in old memories, picking at wounds that never properly healed.
She remembered how she used to torture the turtle-ducks when she was just a girl. Kick them around just for fun. And she remembers when things were bad between mommy and daddy, and when daddy would punish mommy, right in front of her and Zuko. He called it 'showing dominance', mommy called it 'being a coward'. She remembers one time daddy hurt mommy really bad and they weren't allowed to see her. Then that same day daddy gave Zuko a scar, own that will never fade.
But she also remembers when daddy used to come into her room and tuck her in, kiss her forehead and tell her goodnight. She remembers Zuko face before daddy shut the door behind him to come in her room. Zuko was jealous, daddy didn't love him enough. Daddy would tell Zuko and her not to tell anyone, they didn't. He would tell her to wear her night gowns backwards or inside out. So daddy could come in and help her. He would help her take it off and (eventually) put it back on.
But she didn't notice, she didn't care, back then it was alright for daddy to kiss those places. It was alright for daddy to touch her there. It was alright for daddy to rape her. But she didn't know, she was only so young. They didn't know, so she kept her mouth shout. Or else she would get a unforgiving mark on her face (or somewhere else) like Zuko. So Azula kept close to daddy, made sure she was doing all the right things. But she didn't know that it was affecting her brain. Making her absent-minded.
If you go back you'll see, Azula torture animals the way daddy tortured mommy. She was brainwashed into thinking he was the good parent. If only they'd knew. If only she'd known. And after mommy was banished, she had no other option but to trust in him. She didn't want to, but the abuse kept coming. To both her and Zuko. Shed seen how her daddy, kicked around the turtle-ducks and small animals. Making them work for the food, but at the end he'd never give it to them. She thought if shed did the same painful neglect, she would be worthy. And at the age of 9 that shouldn't have been her goal, at all. But she wanted love, the one she gotten from Mother.
"Mothers gone!" she heard Zuzu say one time "Fight for yourself!" And that was the only time Fire Lord Ozai was proud of his son, to say the least. Azula learned the secret. The more evil she got the more daddy loved her, and the less he'd hurt her. But now as a grown adult, shed realize that all those years affected her. Those brutal years, the only pieces of her child. Only shed known, only shed notice.
A/N: Please review. Worked really hard on it, Thanks!
P.S- I know this is a little different from the TV show (it was suppose to be). It's my interpretation. And I know she went crazy from her friends betrayal and that between the year Zuko got his scar and when their mom got banished was like 4 years(?) apart. So yeah : )