The Quiet Compliance
A Quick Therapeutic One Shot based on Personal Experience
By Ai Auraine
She had been watching our friendship grow, this relationship we left in its pot. So naïve, so quick to judge by only what she sees. I know he loves her. I might not see his eyes behind that mask, but I can feel the heat of them as they settle on her blaze of hair and follow every sway of her still developing body.
She doesn't feel what I do though. She can't. Her lack of intuition when it comes to human emotion is so unnerving, but her power over emotions only reaches so far. She only knows what she can see, and the Boy Wonder has one hell of a poker face.
She also sees me, friend Raven, continuously being saved, coached, and consoled by the only real hero in her life. She's heard me call out to him for help before seeking anyone else and disclose every ache in my soul while I lock rest of the world outside my room.
I understand her feelings. I have to, if I want to accept them. If I don't want the guilt of losing two friends to consume me. Feelings are powerful, especially when it comes to my abilities. A meltdown would not be pretty. He knows that too. He knows all about everything because someone has to. Someone has to know what I can do so the secrets don't fester inside and explode. He is the emergency escape button, an extinguisher for the hellfire I can raise.
"We're just friends," we once said, a slight chuckle escaping Robin. She didn't believe it. I could see the doubt in that slight lower of her eyelids. Too sweet for a confrontation with two friends, she pulled him aside, out of earshot but still within a telepathic range. I didn't need to eavesdrop though. Robin and I both knew what was coming as she led him away. An ultimatum. A painful one to be sure.
They left the tower to set up their own station in the atmosphere, a project Robin introduced as a sudden idea for the planet's defense. I remember thinking, "Well played, Boy Wonder, well played."
He's a master actor and improviser. A new defense system with technology only he could run and build and an alien tagalong for the heavy space lifting. Cyborg, Beast Boy, and I could handle the city ourselves, of course. Communication would need to be cut from the tower. A secure line was necessary in case transmissions from the defense station were intercepted by satellites circling in the atmosphere. Something like that takes resources, expensive ones. Any important communication could be carried down to the tower within seconds by Starfire. A communication line wasn't necessary. Private communication between Robin and me was forbidden.
Starfire was happy. Her smile was genuine though, so innocently tearing apart a friendship. Not a snide remark in her heart, just love for the one she wanted to keep to herself.
She didn't lose her best friend. She won the monopoly on mine.
He asked me if I was okay with the decision the morning before they launched the new station, while we meditated with dawn.
If he really loved her, I shouldn't be in their way. I would always be here, withholding judgment. He didn't have to explain the ultimatum, and no argument was needed. If she is the one, this decision will be a happy and fruitful one. Fate wrote it in, and who am I to argue with her? But if this is a mistake and he loses her, I will be his unconditional friend. I will be here. I won't be waiting forever, but my shoulder will always be available. The communication clause was unnecessary since it can't be applied to our telepathic connection, but I'll respect her decision and his compliance to her wishes as much as I don't agree.
Our relationship can only grow so much in our little friendship pot, but for as long as it takes, it will stay alive. I'll keep it that way. And we're okay with that.
I'm okay with that. I think.