Uncut, Uncensored, and Incredibly Stupid
"Well, this is my first fanfic of anything to be posted at FanFiction.Net, or really, on any Web site for that matter. Well, I was pretty much sleeping when I wrote this and I still have no idea what was going on in my mind when I wrote it, so just sit back and enjoy Uncut, Uncensored, and Incredibly Stupid." – Young Author
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"Pitcher! Pitcher! We want a pitcher, not a rotten itcher!" Krillin chanted from the pitcher's mound as he prepared to throw the ball to Gohan, who was waiting for his friend to pitch. "You couldn't hit the ball if Earth's fate depended on it!"
"No, but I could kick Cell's butt from here to the other side of wherever it is we live!" the young Super Saiyan countered. "And yours too!" Krillin then threw the ball and Gohan hit it into the stratosphere. Master Roshi looked out of the window of Kame House to see what all the noise was about, but all he saw was a flaming space shuttle falling from the sky.
"Aaaahhh! The sky is falling! The sky is falling! The sky is…" the old man was interrupted as the shuttle crashed into the small island.
"Master Roshi?" Krillin asked. "Whose red ruby shoes are those sticking out from underneath Kame House?" Krillin then bent over in front of Gohan and let a huge fart rip. "Oh yeah! I bet I could use that technique to escape all of my opponents instead of the Solar Flare!"
"Yeah and it'd probably save you KI too!" Yamcha joked as he waved the air by his nose. "But they'd be able to find you still."
"All they'd have to do is follow the smell," Gohan stated with a plugged nose. "Forget them, you could probably knock out my dad with one of those." As they discussed Krillin's gas, a green mist started to surround the island.
"Oh no! Cell's coming back!" Yamcha yelled.
"No, I just farted," stated Piccolo, who had just arrived on the island. "I heard a loud noise and thought there was a fight."
"It was just Krillin trying to fart out the alphabet again," Gohan joked as he started to take a leak in the ocean. "Boy, Master Roshi sure does have the life here at Kame House. It's real safe and peaceful here. By the way, where'd he go?"
"I'm under here, you stupid boy!" Master Roshi shouted from under the space shuttle, which was now completely black from the intense flames. The green mist started to get darker and began creeping into the Z Fighters' lungs.
"Hey, those are some snazzy shoes," Piccolo said, complementing the red ruby shoes. "I bet they'd bring out my eyes."
"Thank you, Piccolo," mumbled Master Roshi. Krillin then bent over and all the Z Fighters took to the air, trying to avoid their friend's serious gas. But instead of farting, Krillin placed his hands on the red ruby shoes and tried to take them.
"Dang, they're stuck. Can anyone else get them for me?" Krillin whined. Piccolo then touched down on the island and tried his hand at the shoes but ended falling back and landing in the ocean exactly where Gohan was taking another washroom break.
"You stupid kid! That's my ear you're urinating in! Go do that somewhere else!" the irritated Namekian yelled. "Have you ever heard of a toilet or does that word mean nothing to you?"
"Toy tot? Aren't those the little cheap, yet amusing things you get at McDonald's with every Kid's Meal? I have the whole collection! Or, at least I did until my dad got hungry and mistook them for Lay's potato chips. You know, the rippled kind." Gohan then unzipped his pants and began to go to the washroom again. Yamcha then pushed Krillin out of the way and started tugging on the shoes.
"They seem to be stuck. Either that or I'm too weak to do something on this show and in the manga. Nah!" Yamcha stated as he walked away from the shoes and emptied the huge mass of sand from his blue slippers. Yamcha looked up into the sky to watch a jet fly by but was then distracted by the sound of Gohan peeing into his left slipper.
"Stupid kid! I can see which parent you get most of your genes from!" Yamcha cursed.
"But Yamcha, I don't wear jeans," Gohan replied as he started running around the island butt naked, which was one of his favourite pastimes.
"Hey guys!" Tien shouted out as he arrived at the island. "Wow, those are some good looking shoes there." Tien then walked over and tried to pick them up, but he couldn't. "They seem to be stuck."
"It took you three eyes to figure that out? I only have two and I could see that plain as night. Wait, isn't it plain as day? Oh well," Krillin said in a very confused voice. Tien then shot out several energy blasts at Krillin, disintegrating his body.
"Where'd he go?" asked Yamcha. "He was there just a minute ago." Tien then shot out an energy blast at Yamcha, disintegrating his body. Piccolo then charged up his Special Beam Cannon and fired it at Tien. But before it reached the three-eyed man, Gohan's pee made it go out.
"Little brat! I told you to go find a toilet!" Piccolo shouted.
"And I said that my dad at them all!" Gohan replied.
"Goku ate all of Master Roshi's toilets?" Tien asked. Piccolo then shot a Special Beam Cannon and disintegrated Tien's body.
"Why'd you send him to another dimension?" Gohan asked.
"Don't you mean I 'made him not be here anymore'?" questioned Piccolo.
"Actually, I meant to ask why you killed him but the FUNimation censorship's gotten to me and it just comes out naturally now!" Gohan explained. Vegeta then flew up to the island and landed in front of the arguing friends.
"Those shoes would probably get the woman to stop yelling at me," Vegeta said as he slid the red ruby shoes off the pasty white feet. "Now to go back home!" Vegeta flew up into the air and shot a huge Final Flash at Master Roshi's island, completely destroying it. "Now I am the strongest warrior on this pathetic planet!" Vegeta shouted out to nobody. As the remaining parts of the island started to sink, debris flew up into the air. Vegeta watched the island sink, but was then abruptly interrupted by a tiny pebble hitting him in the back of the head, killing him by giving him immense brain damage. Vegeta's body then splashed into the water and sunk to the bottom. The island then finished sinking as it landed on top of the Saiyan Prince's dead body.
"Hahaha!" Master Roshi laughed. "That's what you get for stealing my shoes!"
***
The red ruby shoes flew higher up into the air until they started to fall again. Just then, Future Trunks's Time Machine appeared and the glass roof opened up. He got up and looked around, but couldn't find Master Roshi's island. He sat back down, but before he could close the roof, the red ruby shoes fell into his lap.
"Sweet," Trunks said as the Time Machine's roof closed and the entire thing disappeared.
***
On King Kai's planet, King Kai, Goku, Bubbles, and Gregory were all laughing at the events that had just taken place on Earth; the four friends laughed for a while longer until they heard a voice. They stopped, looked, and saw Gohan, Yamcha, Tien, Krillin, Piccolo, and Vegeta all standing behind them with their strongest attacks charged.
NEXT TIME ON: DragonBall Z Comedy
Oh crap. I forgot what I was going to put.
Oh well, just read the next DragonBall Z Comedy book, which isn't yet titled to find out.
But that's only if I decide/remember to make one.
"Well, this is my first fanfic of anything to be posted at FanFiction.Net, or really, on any Web site for that matter. Well, I was pretty much sleeping when I wrote this and I still have no idea what was going on in my mind when I wrote it, so just sit back and enjoy Uncut, Uncensored, and Incredibly Stupid." – Young Author
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
"Pitcher! Pitcher! We want a pitcher, not a rotten itcher!" Krillin chanted from the pitcher's mound as he prepared to throw the ball to Gohan, who was waiting for his friend to pitch. "You couldn't hit the ball if Earth's fate depended on it!"
"No, but I could kick Cell's butt from here to the other side of wherever it is we live!" the young Super Saiyan countered. "And yours too!" Krillin then threw the ball and Gohan hit it into the stratosphere. Master Roshi looked out of the window of Kame House to see what all the noise was about, but all he saw was a flaming space shuttle falling from the sky.
"Aaaahhh! The sky is falling! The sky is falling! The sky is…" the old man was interrupted as the shuttle crashed into the small island.
"Master Roshi?" Krillin asked. "Whose red ruby shoes are those sticking out from underneath Kame House?" Krillin then bent over in front of Gohan and let a huge fart rip. "Oh yeah! I bet I could use that technique to escape all of my opponents instead of the Solar Flare!"
"Yeah and it'd probably save you KI too!" Yamcha joked as he waved the air by his nose. "But they'd be able to find you still."
"All they'd have to do is follow the smell," Gohan stated with a plugged nose. "Forget them, you could probably knock out my dad with one of those." As they discussed Krillin's gas, a green mist started to surround the island.
"Oh no! Cell's coming back!" Yamcha yelled.
"No, I just farted," stated Piccolo, who had just arrived on the island. "I heard a loud noise and thought there was a fight."
"It was just Krillin trying to fart out the alphabet again," Gohan joked as he started to take a leak in the ocean. "Boy, Master Roshi sure does have the life here at Kame House. It's real safe and peaceful here. By the way, where'd he go?"
"I'm under here, you stupid boy!" Master Roshi shouted from under the space shuttle, which was now completely black from the intense flames. The green mist started to get darker and began creeping into the Z Fighters' lungs.
"Hey, those are some snazzy shoes," Piccolo said, complementing the red ruby shoes. "I bet they'd bring out my eyes."
"Thank you, Piccolo," mumbled Master Roshi. Krillin then bent over and all the Z Fighters took to the air, trying to avoid their friend's serious gas. But instead of farting, Krillin placed his hands on the red ruby shoes and tried to take them.
"Dang, they're stuck. Can anyone else get them for me?" Krillin whined. Piccolo then touched down on the island and tried his hand at the shoes but ended falling back and landing in the ocean exactly where Gohan was taking another washroom break.
"You stupid kid! That's my ear you're urinating in! Go do that somewhere else!" the irritated Namekian yelled. "Have you ever heard of a toilet or does that word mean nothing to you?"
"Toy tot? Aren't those the little cheap, yet amusing things you get at McDonald's with every Kid's Meal? I have the whole collection! Or, at least I did until my dad got hungry and mistook them for Lay's potato chips. You know, the rippled kind." Gohan then unzipped his pants and began to go to the washroom again. Yamcha then pushed Krillin out of the way and started tugging on the shoes.
"They seem to be stuck. Either that or I'm too weak to do something on this show and in the manga. Nah!" Yamcha stated as he walked away from the shoes and emptied the huge mass of sand from his blue slippers. Yamcha looked up into the sky to watch a jet fly by but was then distracted by the sound of Gohan peeing into his left slipper.
"Stupid kid! I can see which parent you get most of your genes from!" Yamcha cursed.
"But Yamcha, I don't wear jeans," Gohan replied as he started running around the island butt naked, which was one of his favourite pastimes.
"Hey guys!" Tien shouted out as he arrived at the island. "Wow, those are some good looking shoes there." Tien then walked over and tried to pick them up, but he couldn't. "They seem to be stuck."
"It took you three eyes to figure that out? I only have two and I could see that plain as night. Wait, isn't it plain as day? Oh well," Krillin said in a very confused voice. Tien then shot out several energy blasts at Krillin, disintegrating his body.
"Where'd he go?" asked Yamcha. "He was there just a minute ago." Tien then shot out an energy blast at Yamcha, disintegrating his body. Piccolo then charged up his Special Beam Cannon and fired it at Tien. But before it reached the three-eyed man, Gohan's pee made it go out.
"Little brat! I told you to go find a toilet!" Piccolo shouted.
"And I said that my dad at them all!" Gohan replied.
"Goku ate all of Master Roshi's toilets?" Tien asked. Piccolo then shot a Special Beam Cannon and disintegrated Tien's body.
"Why'd you send him to another dimension?" Gohan asked.
"Don't you mean I 'made him not be here anymore'?" questioned Piccolo.
"Actually, I meant to ask why you killed him but the FUNimation censorship's gotten to me and it just comes out naturally now!" Gohan explained. Vegeta then flew up to the island and landed in front of the arguing friends.
"Those shoes would probably get the woman to stop yelling at me," Vegeta said as he slid the red ruby shoes off the pasty white feet. "Now to go back home!" Vegeta flew up into the air and shot a huge Final Flash at Master Roshi's island, completely destroying it. "Now I am the strongest warrior on this pathetic planet!" Vegeta shouted out to nobody. As the remaining parts of the island started to sink, debris flew up into the air. Vegeta watched the island sink, but was then abruptly interrupted by a tiny pebble hitting him in the back of the head, killing him by giving him immense brain damage. Vegeta's body then splashed into the water and sunk to the bottom. The island then finished sinking as it landed on top of the Saiyan Prince's dead body.
"Hahaha!" Master Roshi laughed. "That's what you get for stealing my shoes!"
***
The red ruby shoes flew higher up into the air until they started to fall again. Just then, Future Trunks's Time Machine appeared and the glass roof opened up. He got up and looked around, but couldn't find Master Roshi's island. He sat back down, but before he could close the roof, the red ruby shoes fell into his lap.
"Sweet," Trunks said as the Time Machine's roof closed and the entire thing disappeared.
***
On King Kai's planet, King Kai, Goku, Bubbles, and Gregory were all laughing at the events that had just taken place on Earth; the four friends laughed for a while longer until they heard a voice. They stopped, looked, and saw Gohan, Yamcha, Tien, Krillin, Piccolo, and Vegeta all standing behind them with their strongest attacks charged.
NEXT TIME ON: DragonBall Z Comedy
Oh crap. I forgot what I was going to put.
Oh well, just read the next DragonBall Z Comedy book, which isn't yet titled to find out.
But that's only if I decide/remember to make one.