A/N: I don't own Naruto.
Thirty Ways to Annoy Tsunade
Repeatedly send Jehova's Witnesses to her door.
While she's sleeping, stick her hand in a bucket of warm water.
Hold up a small, metal, spherical device and ask if she's opposed to nuclear warfare. If she asks why you asked, give no reason.
Draw a flower on her cheek while she's sleeping.
Tell Kakuzu that Tsunade totally wants him.
Whenever she walks past you, smack her butt.
Smile as she beats you into a pulp for it.
Somehow sellotape Shizune to the ceiling.
Use her pet pig as a football (not soccer, you idiots. The thing where you use your foot to kick the ball. Soccer is AMERICAN.)
Forge entries in Tsunade's diary about Orochimaru's manly body.
Whenever she enters a room, sing the theme tune to Doctor Who.
Hire someone to blow loud raspberries whenever she's talking.
Somehow convince her that she is not the Hokage, and you are.
Steal her underwear.
Steal her bed.
Steal her SOUL!
Tell Naruto that she and Sakura have 'something special going on'.
Splash her office walls with a colour that looks remarkably like blood. Bribe several ANBU members to pretend they're dead on the floor. Stand over them, sucking your thumb and holding a teddy bear. Laugh maniacally as she screams.
Wait till she's asleep, then move her bed to the top of the Hokage Mountain. Laugh as she wonders how she got there.
Get Shizune drunk.
Hit her over the head with a guitar.
Repeatedly tell her of your 'Akatsuki leader is the Yondaime' theory.
Bribe Konohamaru with sweets to Henge into the Yondaime, then tell him to wait in her office. Watch her face as she slowly descends into madness.
Pull out Itachi's eyes and ask her to use medical jutsu to give them to you instead.
Nail yourself to her desk with kunai (warning, this is painful) and cover yourself with that same substance from 18. Scream as she screams.
At completely random moments, announce that she's carrying Naruto's child.
Dress in pirate regalia and follow her around the town. When she asks what the hell you're doing, just say 'ARR!'.
Tell Naruto that Tsunade's boobs are actually made of ramen.
Laugh as he bites them.
Glue her to her office chair.